Hi,
Not sure if this will help but I have definitely had periods in my life where I can relate to feeling like this. For me, meditation was the answer, it
changed my life.
For a quick explanation, it works like this - you sit in a quiet space, no music, no nothing and focus on your breath. focus on the
IN breath.
focus on the
OUT breath. Say in your mind each time -
"I am breathing out" "I am breathing in".
You will do this for about 2 seconds before your mind gets bored and starts to think of some other # like girls, how life sucks, how jealous you can
be, etc. THIS IS NORMAL. this is how the mind works. You just gently guide your mind back to "I am am breathing out" "I am breathing in".
At first you might only be able to do it for two minutes and that's fine. consider it a job well done! Just keep working at it every day that you can
until the time increases. I can sit for 40 minutes now easy, at first, just one minute would kill me! Believe me, it gets easier!
So, whats the point of doing this? The thoughts in your mind are not yours. What? Sound weird right? The mind thinks, that's what it does. For some
reason it thinks of negative things about 90% of the time. What was most important for me was to figure out that these thoughts are not mine. thoughts
do not define us,
WE ARE NOT OUR THOUGHTS.
So we change our relationship to anger, fear, jealousy, etc. We can never get rid of these feelings, they are just a part of human nature but we can
change the way we REACT to them.
When you are sitting, focusing on your breath, and jealousy comes by to hang out, you recognize it "hey wdup jealousy, thanks for hanging out, I am
not YOU. I can not going to react to you". And then, YOU LET IT GO.....
This might sound dumb out of context. I did a lot of listening to audio and reading books about meditation before I actually joined a class and
started my own practice.
If you are not a "new agey" person, Dharma Punx is a great organization that I enjoyed when I first started, they helped a lot. You can listen to
talks about these topics on the website.
www.dharmapunx.com...
Here are some other links I recommend - (for audio in particular)
www.diydharma.org...
www.dharmaseed.org...
dhammatalks.org...
Of course, youtube is filled with great videos as well.
Take care man, it does get better. We just have to put in the effort to make the change. Thing is, our lives are exactly how we want them to be. We
created them. Nobody else. If you don't like how things are, you can change it, simple as that. Not complex, not hard to grasp, we have to get out of
the mind, it sucks in there. Get inside the heart. Its waaaaaaaay better in there!
Much Peace!