have you ever known a psychopath?

reply to post by wildtimes


There is a bull-head aspect to humanity that will defeat you again and again if it can.

How much exposure you have and where you end up on the chopping block tells what you will become if in case you are what people tell you that you are.

The thing is, the level of demon you fight is something you control implicitly.

I wish health care professionals would realise a simple personality change is enough to completely rid you of each and every psychotic mental illness. It's not about looking for positives or relieving yourself from negative feelings and definitely not about finding endorsements for an affliction.
It's about not identifying with the ideas, or, giving presence of mind to the causes without looking at what this means in the context of your life. As usual it is about taking personal responsibility...

What has this to do with psychopaths, psycho behaviors, remorseless souls and those who can't function without spite is well, we are all exactly alike. We each have the same life force pumping through our veins

I am a psychopath, and it scares me. Most people don't understand what it means to be self-divided and always in conflict with internal demons. When you see me walking down the street, you may see an average guy, somewhat normal. But what you don't see is the un-Godly war going on inside. It's daily. Trust me, it's something you don't want, but you can't get rid of. You can only hide it, mask it away. I never wanted to be this way, and I'm trying my damnedest to find a way to beat it before it kills me, or it explodes into something completely uncontrollable.
To give you an idea of the type I am, here's that list from an earlier post, with my own comments. I've removed the characteristics that don't apply to me:

Traits
Hare Psychopathy Checklist
Factor 1

Pathological lying
Cunning/manipulative
Lack of remorse or guilt ( I am this way, but when I do it, it only applies to things I do or feel in relation to bad people and bad events. I don't get anything from hurting good people or animals. )
Emotionally shallow
Callous/lack of empathy ( I am this way, but when I do it, it only applies to things I do or feel in relation to bad people and bad events. I don't get anything from hurting good people or animals. )
Failure to accept responsibility for own actions

Factor 2
Socially deviant lifestyle (I'm not deviant, but I am on Long Term Disability due to my inability to hold focus for things that do not interest me, hallucinations, and paranoid delusions.)

Need for stimulation/proneness to boredom (Extremely So)
Poor behavioral control
Promiscuous sexual behavior
Lack of realistic, long-term goals
Impulsiveness
Irresponsibility
Many short-term relationships

SO, I guess, in a way, if I think about it really hard, I'm kind of a good psychopath. At least that's how I would like to justify my tormented existence.
If anyone has any questions, feel free to ask. This might be good therapy for me. Please don't be asinine about it either.

reply to post by Oreyeon


I think by definition you can't be a good psychopath.

What you have is a void of misinformation, created as a defense mechanism, or just a predisposition. That would be my outlook of your demons. If you were purely possessed by an evil (low resonance) demon / thought field you might be regarded as pure evil, but nothing is that extreme, is it?

You showed that you can tell right from wrong.

reply to post by squandered


i haven't actually read this whole thread and don't know if you're still very interested in the topic, but yeah, i knew one for five years from a screwed-up work situation and harbor a lot of resentment as a result. p.t.s.d. too, i think. i don't talk about it most of the time and could go on for hours, but i'd rather copy/paste the symptoms and cite an example of each. hope you're still reading...
Traits
Hare Psychopathy Checklist
Factor 1
Aggressive narcissism - "i'm a big part of this place" "i'm a big part of this buildin'" "i do a lot around here" trying to put others down as if his own characteristics were positive
Glibness/superficial charm - weightlifting?
Grandiose sense of self-worth - was convinced his role as a cook in a diner was endlessly valuable; refused to acknowledge himself as simply a cook; insisted he had some sort of authority over the tenants in the building
Pathological lying - often told our boss lies to make me look bad; lied about things the boss said or felt - this was in the later years. the early years had more to do with talking about nonexistent friends, or telling abuse stories with him winning the fight.
Cunning/manipulative - [see above]; either tried to turn the police against me or tried to convince me he had successfully done so, bribe/blackmail
Lack of remorse or guilt - for harassment, trespassing, stealing, destroying my belongings, sexual harassment, threats, jammed a pot of boiling water into my back, constant verbal abuse, etc. etc.
Emotionally shallow - responded to all emotional threats with "toughness"; would not recognize this as true weakness
Callous/lack of empathy - i think this is covered
Failure to accept responsibility for own actions - it was always my fault for standing up for myself, or for "causing" these attacks; or overall, just blaming others for his mistakes

Factor 2
Socially deviant lifestyle - no friends whatsoever
Need for stimulation/proneness to boredom - maybe... left tv on in restaurant kitchen at all times (except when boss was present); created conflict to amuse self
Parasitic lifestyle - does nothing but harm that business and its employees
Poor behavioral control - do we need to discuss this further? let me know.
Promiscuous sexual behavior - maybe... if he was gay?
Lack of realistic, long-term goals - dedicated to first restaurant that hired him as a teenager, determined to become owner of shady family business
Impulsiveness - pet bird for a week, new vehicle several times each year, lived in each of 5 apartments in the building in short period of time
Irresponsibility - idk
Juvenile delinquency - SO many fight stories (all completely true, i'm sure... this is where ATS members say "roll", right? like eyes rolling, i guess? yeah.)
Early behavioral problems - i assume
Revocation of conditional release - like i said, lives for that greasepit
Many short-term marital relationships - still married just once, i think, 4 or 5 years... that's because he doesn't know anyone outside of work and the other girl there he dated never divorced. i wouldn't put money on this marriage going well, though...
Criminal versatility - idk

pretty sure he's got all the traits of sociopathy too.
if anyone wants to talk to me about coping with these memories, feel free.

reply to post by Oreyeon


i don't think you classify as a psychopath either. i have been unable to log into my account for over a month so i'm late in responding. i think that because you don't harm good people and you don't like how you are you are not a psychopath. you have feeling. you do seem very tormented about your behavior.... another reason you would not be classified as a psychopath. you certainly have some issues. i'm going to assume you had some childhood trauma. i could be wrong but i'm guessing you were not treated well as a kid.

reply to post by hallucipede


wow. having to be around someone like that has got to be traumatic! i think i've found that when i tell people i was involved with a psychopath they assume i just had a bad relationship and he was an ass to me. he was actually very nice to me most of the time. fights were weird and became more frequent but for the most part he was really really nice to me. all part of his deviant cover up to hide all the bad things he does. he makes sure everyone knows him as mr. perfect. the most kind and sweet person you'll meet. he would have a dozen people come to his defense... none of whom REALLY know him. he makes sure to keep people at just enough of a distance. all the women he dates (which are MANY) never get to know the people he has casually kept as friends for years. he has it down to a science. keeping them separate makes sure that when they catch on they don't spread it around. they just fade away. i'm the only one who linked a bunch of people together and found out many of his secrets. i wish i could find out things before he was in highschool. i really think he's in the country illegally (along with the rest of his odd family).

reply to post by hallucipede


That was interesting thanks.

You quickly forget how invasive self interested people can be.

One last post...if you want to be surrounded by psychos join the army, or police force.

Originally posted by pasiphae
i'd like to hear some other experiences with psychopaths. i'm not talking about people who are just mean.... but people who have no conscience. they fake emotion to fool people and have no other mission than self "pleasure". they aren't all killers. some never physically harm anyone. many do.

have you known one? are you one? (since this site is essentially anonymous i figure it can't hurt to ask - some like to boast about it). were you married to or were you in a relationship with one?

I had numeral experiences with psychopaths. One was a girl, she wasn't really special but she never agree with you and when people didn't do what she wants she started to cut herself with a knife, or showed aggressive behaviour. Something very remarkable was that she never takes the blame, it was always someone else who "had done it". I had somekind of similar experience with another girl, but she was more the "groupie" type of girl who really digged guys in bands...

I once knew a guy and at first he looks cool and relaxed, but he was a lair on a pathalogical level, this was really weird but only dangerous for himself.

So, that is my story, and I must say tat those people who have this kind of "sickness" aren't worth the attention and time. It sounds pretty hard but when you put to much time and kindness in those people, you will lose their games and become somewhat depressed.

I'm rather puzzled as to why most of you associate psychopaths and sociopaths with evil, or seem to think that they are the way they are by choice or deliberately. In my opinion, the true psychopath/sociopath has a mental defect and can not be judged or condemned for what they are, any more than a person who is MMR can be "blamed" for being unable to interact "normally" with other people. Yes, they can be dangerous, but so would a 2 year old be if you stuck him in an adult body and let him go. We have all BEEN psychopaths at some age, we just outgrew it.

While working as a houseparent at a boys' home in 1983, I had a young man assigned to my cottage who was a psychopath. Patrick was 15, nice looking, and outwardly quiet and comparatively well-behaved. But there was something about him...

Eventually Patrick grew to trust me and we had some very long, serious, and revealing conversations. Patrick was completely unable to empathize; in fact he couldn't really comprehend that the rest of us were actually people just like him. In his own mind, he was the only "real person" in existence, the rest of us were .. well, something different, and not "like him."

Patrick was highly intelligent, good at games, and particularly liked both chess and Monopoly. One day we had a conversation in which I asked him "If you cheat and get caught, do you win or lose?" "Lose," he answered promptly, and suddenly I had a "handle" on Patrick. I explained that life is like a game, and if you want to win you have to play by the rules, even if they don't make any sense to you. Unfortunately, other people - in some cases people who lived and died many years ago - got to make all the rules and generally you can't change them. If you want to "win," you just have to accept them as they are. This concept was very comprehensible to Patrick, and in a strange way made much more sense to him than all the people who kept telling him what he SHOULD feel or think. I think Patrick did have some limited concept of gratitude and I think he felt some of that towards me, as well as a level of dependency for a while as I taught him "rules" and guidelines for getting through life and dealing with people - rules that I was able to articulate as such because I am a high-functioning autistic (Asperger's or something like it) myself and needed those same rules to navigate my own life and social interactions. I do not believe, however, that he ever developed anything like affection for or attachment to me, or anyone, because I think he is simply incapable of those feelings.

Imagine yourself unable to understand that other people are like you, unable to empathize or 'put yourself in someone else's shoes" in any sense other than perhaps on a purely intellectual level. Although "normal" people can have relationships of a sort with animals, our truly significant and important relationships are with other humans - those who we come to understand as we mature are LIKE US. Patrick will have a very sad and lonely life in spite of the best anyone could do for him or he could do for himself, but we did the best we could.

Coincidentally, I know where Patrick was at least as of 10 years ago (by which time he was in his early 30's) because I heard him. He is a successful radio DJ in the nearest city to where the boys' home was, and apparently managed to stay out of trouble after leaving the boys' home.

People who have these disorders and have not internalized a set of rules by which they can successfully live in society may rightly be feared because they can be dangerous in the same way that a bull may be dangerous if you enter his field, or a tiger can be dangerous if you encounter one in the jungle, but they are not evil, mean, or malicious. In fact, they are just as incapable of malice as they are of most other "normal" human motivations and emotions.

Imagine for a moment that you're having a dream and become aware that you're dreaming. You now realize that all the "people" in your dream are not real, independent beings but simply figments of your imagination (or, as Scrooge might say, a bit of undigested food from supper). Therefore, it just doesn't matter what you do to them or how you treat them - they aren't real - not like you are real, in the dream. That is my best approximation of how the true psychopath perceives the world, and us. In his mind, he is the only real person who exists....

reply to post by hhott


nevermind.

Originally posted by pasiphae
reply to post by hallucipede

 

wow. having to be around someone like that has got to be traumatic! i think i've found that when i tell people i was involved with a psychopath they assume i just had a bad relationship and he was an ass to me. he was actually very nice to me most of the time. fights were weird and became more frequent but for the most part he was really really nice to me. all part of his deviant cover up to hide all the bad things he does. he makes sure everyone knows him as mr. perfect. the most kind and sweet person you'll meet. he would have a dozen people come to his defense... none of whom REALLY know him. he makes sure to keep people at just enough of a distance. all the women he dates (which are MANY) never get to know the people he has casually kept as friends for years. he has it down to a science. keeping them separate makes sure that when they catch on they don't spread it around. they just fade away. i'm the only one who linked a bunch of people together and found out many of his secrets. i wish i could find out things before he was in highschool. i really think he's in the country illegally (along with the rest of his odd family).

Were there ever times when the mask came off, say you were watching tv or something and you felt like sitting next to a dead person?...By that I mean...oddly dead...like, dead on the inside or something...??

reply to post by dude69


Do you swim with the sharks? Dance with the rhinos? Play tag with the tigers? No?

Well, no more do you need to associate with the psychopaths. As I said, they can be dangerous if they don't have a "good" set of rules to live by.

I never said, nor meant to imply, that you shouldn't distance yourself from them and/or protect yourself from them as much as possible, or even turn them in to authorities if they're engaging in criminal behavior. I'm merely saying there's no point to condemning or demonizing them. They can't help what they are any more than the shark and the tiger can.

Some of you are going to take this wrong (dons flame-retardant suit), but actually the best thing you can do if you are forced to associate with one is to do something(s) that teaches them that messing with you will result in harm to them. Self-interest is the only real motivation they have, gotta use it.

During the first week that Patrick was in my cottage, he objected to my expecting him to conform to the same rules as the other boys, so he went to the home's social worker and accused me of sexual advances. That night his bed was short-sheeted and seeded with something that gave him a sleepless and uncomfortable night. Call me names now if you like or accuse me of "descending to his level," but he never messed with me again.

Originally posted by hhott
reply to post by dude69

 

Do you swim with the sharks? Dance with the rhinos? Play tag with the tigers? No?

Well, no more do you need to associate with the psychopaths. As I said, they can be dangerous if they don't have a "good" set of rules to live by.

I never said, nor meant to imply, that you shouldn't distance yourself from them and/or protect yourself from them as much as possible, or even turn them in to authorities if they're engaging in criminal behavior. I'm merely saying there's no point to condemning or demonizing them. They can't help what they are any more than the shark and the tiger can.

Some of you are going to take this wrong (dons flame-retardant suit), but actually the best thing you can do if you are forced to associate with one is to do something(s) that teaches them that messing with you will result in harm to them. Self-interest is the only real motivation they have, gotta use it.

During the first week that Patrick was in my cottage, he objected to my expecting him to conform to the same rules as the other boys, so he went to the home's social worker and accused me of sexual advances. That night his bed was short-sheeted and seeded with something that gave him a sleepless and uncomfortable night. Call me names now if you like or accuse me of "descending to his level," but he never messed with me again.

What I initially said was: Try growing up with them as the youngest in the family...understanding is all good and neat...and I tried...believe me...but...it's no use with people who walk around looking for people to mark as potential " victims " and treat their own family members as such. The only good thing of trying to understand their behavious is that it equipps you with pretty decent psychopath spotting abilities. But...as you said. Two ways to deal with them...brute force, or keep your distance. But to me they're still nasty, nasty people. I don't care if they can help it or not. That's just something I have to keep in the back of my mind since you can't really detach yourself from family...but I get your point...

reply to post by hhott


that was a really interesting story. thanks for sharing it. i realize not all psychopaths are evil. some manage to follow the rules. many don't. the psychopath i know learned the rules and uses them to his advantage in a bad way. he knows if he gets caught he "loses" so he just makes sure he doesn't get caught.

Originally posted by pasiphae
there's also the issue of impulse control. psychopaths/sociopaths tend to have a big problem with that.

so moving on from diagnosing another memeber...

here's my moral dilemma with the whole thing. the advice is usually "run as fast as you can and never ever look back" if you've met a psychopath. however, how do i do that when i know lives are at stake (i can't explain that publicly) ? currently my hands are tied because i have no proof. the police won't listen (done that).

i think there is one person who can fill in some missing information but i would either have to find someone willing to contact that person for me (who couldn't be traced back to me) or figure out how i can do it myself and be COMPLETELY anonymous. i have no idea how i would do that.

Find out if said person has a social network site facebook myspace ect..If so go to an internet caffee or somewhere you can use an anonymous pc.Set up a facebook ect acount under fictional name .An comunicate with them thus,

Yes, I have known and worked with psychopaths, for 10yrs.
committed sex offenders at the Minnesota Sexual Psychopathic Personality Treatment Center.(now known as MSOP, Minnesota Sex Offender Program)
I read a handful of the posts in this thread hoping to find a kindred spirit or peer....nope...just opinions on what they think a psychopath is.
But then again, I only know the ones that have been permanently removed from society.

Originally posted by hhott
That night his bed was short-sheeted and seeded with something that gave him a sleepless and uncomfortable night. Call me names now if you like or accuse me of "descending to his level," but he never messed with me again.

'Games' are the trait of a psychopath, just saying.
Remind them to be responsible, and that they're not a kid anymore.
Holding your ground as a adult role model
reflects a state of mental stability.

______________________

Originally posted by hhott
Patrick was 15, nice looking,

and a minor (just saying)

___________________

reply to post by ToneDeaf


Well, you made me laugh. It's amazing how people just don't get it, even when it's carefully explained to them.

At that time, I meant nothing to him. In his mind I wasn't even real. Nothing, NOTHING I could have said or done would have made any difference to him or had any effect on him .. except doing something that actually, directly caused him at least discomfort if not harm.

Talking to a true psychopath, regardless of age, about responsibility or trying to be a role model is like trying to explain to a hungry tiger about the sanctity of human life so he won't eat you.