need help with this situation. Preggo ex girlfriend seeks full custody of my child

the biggest F U to a girl to tricks a dude into having a baby so she can get child support or what ever is when a dad figths back and takes full custody of the kid. not only do the get to protect teh child from the immaturity and selfishness of the kid they also make the mom pay child support.


a friend of mine has a 12 year old daughter, from age 1-7 she was living with her mom and my friend was paying her a cheque monthly with out coming to an actual legal agreement. well after 7 years she tried to sue him and say that he hadnt paid any child support at all. what the mom didnt know was my friend had set up a seperate account at the bank specifically for child support with a sperate set of cheques. he was putting x amount in each month and withdrawing money and sending it via cheque to the mom. once it hit the courts she got royally screwed. turned out he had been giving her $450 more a month than he was legally obligated to so she was forced to pay back almost $40k. then after this went through he filed for custody using the false accusations against him and won. now she has to pay him and he gets his daughter most of the time (whioch is the real win imo)

Originally posted by Meekbot2000
i didnt read any other responses but this is what you need to do.

Start a journal or log, add in any email communiactions etc you have with here, date time and sve/print all emails.

always express a desire and want to see/be with your child. (you should anyway but make it apparent)

get a lawyer

In so many cases in custody battles it turns into mom said vs dad said because there is rarely any documentation. if you have logs and times, dates etc they can be verified by call logs from a phone company. if she says one thing and then you have written proof the court will side with you as you have the documentation. the best case scenario (depending on what you want your future relationship to be with this person) is full custody of the child.

do beleive anything she says, ever. thats for a court to decide. other things you should not do. do not tell her you are saving emails and keeping written logs of correspondance. but at the saem time do not record phone calls as that is illegal and will discredit anything else you do.

Again, very, very good advice...and this will particularly stand you in good stead if she tries to demand child support without giving you access rights.

Either way, you need to talk to someone in person, but DO NOT make that first person someone who is going to charge you for it...there is plenty of free legal advice and there is no need for this to start costing you money until all other avenues have been explored...but in the meantime starting to keep a written record is excellent advice, but as the poster said, you should be discrete and keep your hand to yourself until you're ready to play it.

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reply to post by no special characters


Well as much as probably everyone would agree, there is little point in shutting the stable door after the horse has bolted, and we can at least commend the chap for trying to take responsibility.

We can't, after all, all be like you.

reply to post by no special characters

I agree with most of what you posted. At this rate, this will be another 3 mouths to feed, house, and provide medical assistance to. All on the taxpayers back. The OP has already stated he has no job, nor training for any that could provide for a family. Yet it's off to play family and daddy with no further thought of how to actually do it.

It makes me angry....it really does.

What I'm about to write is going to sound racist, but I calls 'em like I sees 'em.

As another poster pointed out, you got involved with a lowlife "mudperson". These people breed like rats, but they especially like breeding with whites, so their child will have fairer skin, which they highly prize. Watch any hispanic soap opera if you don't believe it. She is not interested in marriage, only breeding, which appears to be some kind of rite of passage for these women. They use sex the way others use money, as a way to get what they want. In this case, the seed of some sorry sucker.

Anchor baby is right, but that is the least of your worries. Not only have you bred with this chica, you have combined your DNA with a liar and, most likely, a pyscho. Don't be surprised if she disappears somewhere with your kid after you're sued for child support. You never see your kid again, her whole family will tell this kid lies about how you're dead or run off somewhere, and you'll be nothing but an ATM for her.

Not only do these chicks give hoes a bad name, but I'm fairly certain your kid is only the first of many.

When you're older, you will certainly see the error of your ways, as all you will be able to afford will be a cheap apartment and a compact car, because a big chunk of your paycheck is going to a kid she makes sure you'll never get to see.

I find it hard to feel sorry for you, because you should have enough smarts, being as you're in college, but I certainly feel sorry for the little nino, who will grow up amongst cheaters, liars, and various other illegals bilking the system.

My apologies for offending anybody, but my harsh talk comes from years of experience living around that culture, and not from stereotypical hearsay.

Originally posted by FissionSurplus
What I'm about to write is going to sound racist, but I calls 'em like I sees 'em.

As another poster pointed out, you got involved with a lowlife "mudperson". These people breed like rats, but they especially like breeding with whites, so their child will have fairer skin, which they highly prize. Watch any hispanic soap opera if you don't believe it. She is not interested in marriage, only breeding, which appears to be some kind of rite of passage for these women. They use sex the way others use money, as a way to get what they want. In this case, the seed of some sorry sucker.

Anchor baby is right, but that is the least of your worries. Not only have you bred with this chica, you have combined your DNA with a liar and, most likely, a pyscho. Don't be surprised if she disappears somewhere with your kid after you're sued for child support. You never see your kid again, her whole family will tell this kid lies about how you're dead or run off somewhere, and you'll be nothing but an ATM for her.

Not only do these chicks give hoes a bad name, but I'm fairly certain your kid is only the first of many.

When you're older, you will certainly see the error of your ways, as all you will be able to afford will be a cheap apartment and a compact car, because a big chunk of your paycheck is going to a kid she makes sure you'll never get to see.

I find it hard to feel sorry for you, because you should have enough smarts, being as you're in college, but I certainly feel sorry for the little nino, who will grow up amongst cheaters, liars, and various other illegals bilking the system.

My apologies for offending anybody, but my harsh talk comes from years of experience living around that culture, and not from stereotypical hearsay.

I'd have to agree.

One hundred percent.

reply to post by pcrobotwolf


Depending on the laws of your state, she'll likely get full custody, but you would be entitled to visitation, etc. Are you even sure if she is a legal immigrant though (or born citizen)? If she isn't, then you've got a great shot of full custody yourself.

Of course, if she does get custody, you're also going to be on the hook for child support too. The best solution is no longer an option...use a rubber dude.

Not sure why young people these days are so flippant about the possibility of pregnancy...

From your other thread, you may not even be the father, so a DNA test is certainly not a bad idea. They can be expensive though, so you may be able to work it out that in order for her to get you on the hook for support, the onus would be on her to fund the test. Again, all depends on the laws in your state.

I believe all 50 states will give you one free paternity test per child.

Sounds silly, but while the court is trying to determine paternity they will send you a letter with a phone number to call to schedule your test.
You at that point have 3 choices:

1) you can schedule an appointment for the free DNA test and be 100% sure
2) you can ignore the letter, in which case the court will make you pay for the DNA test when they hunt you down.
3) you can call child services, or whatever the authority is in your state, and tell them that you know you are the biological father and waive the test.


I would absolutely be proactive in the situation, and start the process with the state as soon as the baby is born. Personally, assuming your story is true, if I were in your shoes I would be going for full custody - but that's just me.

Hope you keep us updated, if you care to do so. Now I'm interested in what you decide and how things go for you.

Seems to:

California paternity law authorizes blood tests in cases where parentage is disputed. The mother, child, and alleged father will be required to submit to these blood tests. If a party refuses to submit to blood tests then the court has the power to resolve the parentage issue against that party

pcrobotwolf,

I realize you are fairly new here. I see you haven't been back to this thread to post, yet you have been logged in today.

I'm letting you know, a lot of wise people, have given of their time and experience to answer your call for help.

The courteous thing for you to do, whether you like their posts or not, is to at least acknowledge their replies.

If you keep posting threads, and don't like what you are hearing, and abandon those threads, as you seem to do.

Don't be surprised to find that the quality of members visiting your threads drops dramatically.

This is free advice from an old Lady. JMOHO.

reply to post by pcrobotwolf



Um....Ya.....Bro.

Get a new girlfriend.

Can anyone tell me what the hell is going on?

I am sure other have said it...But among those things said, you might want to check if it really is your kid.

Some people have a habit of lying about stuff like this...Really that is as nice as I can put it.

Originally posted by Destinyone
reply to post by no special characters

 

I agree with most of what you posted. At this rate, this will be another 3 mouths to feed, house, and provide medical assistance to. All on the taxpayers back. The OP has already stated he has no job, nor training for any that could provide for a family. Yet it's off to play family and daddy with no further thought of how to actually do it.

It makes me angry....it really does.

Its nice to know you agree with [SNIP] that seems to think he is better then me. Yeah i don't have a job right now although i have worked in the telecommunication field before, actually since i was 18 I'm 29 now. How you came to your conclusion that I didn't have training in a field just because I'm going back to school and right now don't have a job is past me. I never stated I didn't have experience in a profession where i could provide for a family if need be.

I do not plan on making the state pay for any of this. I will work two minimum wage jobs if i have to if i cant find a job in my past field. Ps I have never gone on unemployment. The only thing i have taken from the tax payers is money for a school loan and it's money I fully intend to pay back. Not like some professors I know that owe 300,000 in school loans and plan on going to college forever so they don't have to pay it back.

Mod Note: No Insults!!

this is like a great reason for me to just avoid relationships all together, think i'll just hoard my love all to myself.
i don't want any extra bs lol...for the right lady i'll put up with some bs of course, i'd do anything for the ones I actually care about.

Play along - - be very charming and comforting.

In the mean time lawyer up - - be ready to file for custody the minute you sign the birth papers.

OH! And demand a DNA test.

reply to post by FissionSurplus




I have many Hispanic friends who do not behave at all like this Chica....

This Chica sounds pretty messed up.

I can also tell you many similar stories like this that white women have done.....

I also have stories of women who are us citizens who do this.....

I also have stories of men who do this.....

My point is....there is no need to bring race, sex or nationality into this......the girl is simply bad news bears....

Originally posted by Mijamija
reply to post by FissionSurplus

 

I have many Hispanic friends who do not behave at all like this Chica....

This Chica sounds pretty messed up.

I can also tell you many similar stories like this that white women have done.....

I also have stories of women who are us citizens who do this.....

I also have stories of men who do this.....

My point is....there is no need to bring race, sex or nationality into this......the girl is simply bad news bears....

That wasn't fully my intention to began with. I brought it up to maybe shed some light and see if other people think it might be a anchor baby scam. I loved her, damn I still love her but non of this situation has made sense to me at all. To go from getting married to you cant even see your kid is wild plus moving out and her family being ok with all this is really crazy.

reply to post by pcrobotwolf


Yes, I agree it all sounds very crazy. And I do not deny that it could be an anchor baby scam....it could be. I have seen white German women, white Russian women and many other white European women do this sort of thing. I have also seen us nationals who got pregnant, ran out on the man then cashed in once the baby was born. I also had a female friend who reluctantly gave into her exs pleas to have sex one more time before they parted ways....she was foolish enough to believe he would pull out.....he did not, and once she found out she was pregnant she told him and he admitted to not pulling out on purpose in hopes that having a baby would bring her back to him...then he tried to threaten to take the baby from her if she did not agree to get back together with him.

Point is people do crazy things. As you can tell, some people in this thread think you were kinda crazy for dating a girl for 2 months and wanting to get married. I do not think you were crazy....I think you might have been a bit naive.

I was naive once too.....it turned out well for me in the end, I cannot judge you for what you did. I think we were all naive at one point or another. I hope you really reflect on how your decisions lead you to this point in your life and maybe if you reflect on these things you wont make the same mistakes again. I hope things turnout well for you. I think they will. Be kind to her, but seek legal advice.

reply to post by pcrobotwolf


So let me get this straight. You think she is genuinely using you for you sperm? Look, whatever you plan on doing, just do it. Either marry the girl or send her ass to court. Honestly, I know from what you've mentioned in past threads that you have been hurt before. Are you just using your past relationships to let them guide your current one?

Maybe she is an alien, what do you plan on doing? Sending her and her family back to wherever it was they came from? Of course they are going to support her in whatever she wants to do. Some families do that, they help each other instead of not doing anything to help one another.

If you two were only together for that short amount of time, its quite possible she does not feel she knows you well enough to let you in the child's life. Assuming everything turns out great between you two, which in this case it sounds like you are already a negative thinker, and rushing to defend yourself, do you honestly feel you can raise the child better than she can?

And if you honestly think you can, then go ahead and I agree, take her to court, but don't play around, don't lie to her, and if she really is a bad person, do not drop to her level. Be honest and straight forward about what your plans are.

I hope I did not sound like I was defending her, but just like I do not know you, I do not know her, and her story might be completely different.

Hope this helped.

I met a girl in college we dated for about 4 months 2 of which we planned on having a child. Now from the get go there have been many strange occurrences. Like from the very beginning she told me that if we had a kid i didn't need to be in its life. I laughed and said like a sperm donor she laughed as well.

There, you said it yourself..You knew this would happen, why cry about it now?
You could have just saved yourself a whole heap of trouble by keeping it in your trousers. Plan a child within 2 months are you kidding me?.
Sounds like you haven't got the common sense you were born with and now you want to be the baby faddah!
Christ on the proverbial bike!