reply to post by kaptabs316
I've always pulled my own weight.
When we had three kids, one (the oldest) the child from hell (ADHD, could not stop getting into everything) I still managed to run a small successful
daycare and bring in enough money for groceries.
We've been married for 38 years.
I've always worked, always brought in some money.
Don't know your complete situation but if your wife is not happy, be careful. The law is very pro women now days and if you end up with a messy,
vindictive divorce you are really going to know the true meaning of trouble.
Why can't your wife work at least part time?
For awhile, my husband worked days and I worked evenings.
A word of warning, if you think your wife is going to eventually dissolve your marriage, whoever gets the best lawyer the fastest usually wins,
however again, it has been my experience that women get priority treatment.
Maybe if she won't work or can't try to get a part time second job.
I think now days money is one of the biggest issues with marriages.
I'm sorry I can't be of more help but wish you and your family the best.
Whatever you do, try not to go further into debt.
Single most important thing is to figure out a budget, a financial counselor can help and STICK TO IT.
If you need something buy it..............need it like food, shelter, water.
If it's a luxury and you don't need it, fancy clothes, a cruise, books, perfume, fancy hair or face creams, movies, eating out - don't buy it.
Clothes can be bought fairly cheap at thrift shops but you have to explore different ones to find nice clothes at good prices.
Use coupons, and plan your meals around sale items each week.
A lot of things people think they need a lot of "stuff that they don't.
We have one car for the both of us we share because my job of 16 years was outsourced to India and nobody wants to hire a older woman. I'm now for
the first time since age 10 not bringing in money except a small pension.
Yes I said 10..................orphaned at 9 and told I had better "pull my own weight as nobody gets a free lunch".
Lastly...............if you have two or three kids get fixed, either you or her. You can't afford another mouth to feed.
I got fixed and it's not painful and I'm sensitive to pain.
Don't smoke, drink or do drugs that's expensive.
Again, when we were young we bought a lot of stuff at thrift shops, clothes, books, pots & pans (not beds or bedding/bedbugs
If your wife is a stay at home mom, do you both need a cell phone?
Possibly you might want to see two people, a financial counselor and a marriage or family counselor. Some go by a sliding scale and the money is well
spent if you find a good one. They teach you how to "fight fair" ie: iron out your differences and bring up issues that normally you can't or won't
bring up. It also shows the kids how to talk things out with a mediator.
My prayers are with you, I know all too well how difficult it is with children.
Now that I don't work, I sanded, power washed and re-stained the deck, did some landscaping, mow the lawn, snow blow, clean the house, make all the
meals, do the dishes, pay the bills and figure our budget and try and relieve my husband's stress when he comes home................he does like doing
the laundry and shopping, says it relaxes him????? And he sticks to the budget list better than me, I'm a compulsive shopper. (We have have our
weaknesses). (( Need a embarrassed smiley face over there ATS)))
Again, best wishes, and things will get better, hang in there and try to be kind and keep your mouth shut when your angry................if she gets
on your nerves, take the kids for a walk to "relieve her stress" (really to relieve yours and give you time to cool off and chill out).
Check back in and let us know how it's going.
Sometimes all you can do is ‘hang in there’.
Distract yourself in order to stay positive.
Do whatever you can to just get through the day, and remind yourself -
“tomorrow is another day”…
Not enough room left but go here for 15 tips to stay positive. I thought most were very good.
edit on 24-1-2012 by ofhumandescent because: (no