Questioning faith and feeling bad about it.

For once in my life things started to turn good I was going to school not drinking,had a nice girlfriend, had a nice place. Then bang life filpped upside down girlfriends gone and times are getting tough again. It's like fkkk when will this # let up It feels like life knocks me down just to build me up to knock me down again. I put my faith in god hands and to be honest he has answered some of my important help prayers but it feels like he loves to put me around people who dislike me. I wonder if earth isn't his realm then on earth it must pay to be an evil bastard because they seem to get everything they want here. I feel like earth is a never ending grindstone on peoples values until they get tired of feeling worn down and give in to cheat or not care about anything and the test is to leave this world with some redeeming value left to not let it make you bitter. I feel bad for questioning his tactics or his methods but it seems that he enjoys humbling me or all of us. Sol comes to mind and I'm not him not even close i wish for some peace of mind maybe a little clarity but nothing is clear at lest to me it isn't. All i have ever wanted was a good wife and a nice family maybe a career i didn't hate waking up to but every step i take to get closer it burst into flames and turns to ashes before my eyes and all im left with is picking up the pieces and trying to start again ect each time the pieces become more torn and the picture dims.

and i ask my self why? what I'm i supposed to learn from this because it keeps happening? Is it because i will not give in or is it because i should.
Ps I'm not saying im holy or just because i do the right things at times I'm better then anyone else I'm saying i need a time of stability that isn't fleeting. Where you have faith or no faith we all go through the same crap im just amazed at how much better everyone else is at getting over it

Where you have faith or no faith we all go through the same crap im just amazed at how much better everyone else is at getting over it

The truth is they aren't. Everyone is going through the motions of life. Everyone feels what you feel at one point or another. I have a friend who is basically going through your same problem. He's 22. My other friend, same deal. He's 30. We all find something in life to keep us going. It may seem like you're off on a dark path or beginning one but really, everyone faces this at one point in their lives. That's kinda the journey of this all. Did you think things were going to be easy? The tragic lives of others couldn't happen to you? We all think we can't be touched or that won't happen to us but the truth is uglier. It can. Hell, people shoot each other daily. That life is taken away. Never to exist with the freedom of thought, clarity, reality...Sometimes, when things are looking down, bad. Remember that you're going to die some day. Remember that it is the little things in life that get you by. It may seem like you have nothing now but at least I bothered to click on ATS, which I haven't visited in 4 months, and here I am, first conversation, first post I read. It's yours. In some special way your post affected me enough to reply to you. That's gotta mean something man.

My life is #ty right now. I hate myself but my music, family, 3 friends I have left, and my smile keep me going. I know it's easier said than done but in good time. It all pans out in good time.

Dont be discouraged! Questioning your faith is healthy. Thats how it grows. No single person or group has the complete answer for you. Continue to develop that for yourself. Otherwise it would be stagnent, and therefore worthless.

reply to post by pcrobotwolf



It is good that you question your "faith." Many people don't, and believe everything will work out, then it doesn't, and they blame another. Have faith in yourself, friend. Life is not a bed of roses for anyone not born into old money, and if you are over the age of 13 you should already know that. I too was left by the wayside, by a wife of many years whose only thoughts were to how much money I could make. Everything got blamed on me, including things that happened to her at work, beyond my control. She even tried to poison me twice after I got hurt, in a semi truck accident, trying to make her more money. She divorced me as I lay on my back, and I spiralled into a deep depression, drenched in whisky, and doused with drugs.


Then one day, I woke up. I realized none of it was my fault, and I got off drugs and alcohol, got myself to feeling better by sheer willpower. Then, I sat down, and spelled out exactly the wife I wanted. I took my time, and listed all attributes. Then, I began to ask the Goddess for her to come to me. Two years went by, then, one day a women I had watched grow up, who, as a girl played with my daughter, took a hard look at me and told me she was leaving her husband, and wanted to me with me.

That, friend, was 7 years ago. We do not always get what we want, or even what we ask for, but, sometimes, we do get what we need. I am including a song that goes in line with this, I want you to listen carefully to the words, and see how they fit with your own situation.

reply to post by pcrobotwolf


Dear pcrobotwolf,

Firstly, I want to tell you that I am sorry that you are finding yourself so challenged. Yes, we go through some tough things in this world. My wife of over 20 years cheated on me and left me for another man and I lost everything I had worked my life for. Life is not about finding peace or happiness, that is the lie we are told, life is about defining yourself and helping others even when we don't get rewarded for it. Life is about being always willing to get up and try again because you will most definitely be challenged again.

There are those who seem to prosper by selling out their morals; but, all they achieve is to become corrupt. Once you become corrupt you have to spend the rest of your life justifying your own lies and that truly is no way to live. I was reading about a man named Alan Hevesi tonight, he was the comptroller of New York and a big wig. He seemed to live a blessed life; but, he was just convicted of taking bribes. The man he took the bribes from was named Elliot Broidy who has also been convicted of giving bribes. This life takes patience; but, the corrupt ones usually pay for it in one way or the other.

When my wife left me for another man and I lost everything, I found out that there were a lot of people who remembered what I had done for them over the years, they came out of the woodwork to support me, I never knew how loved I was until then. Sometimes what looks bad today can become a blessing. If you had stayed with the woman you mentioned, you might never meet the one who would be right for you. None of us know the end of the book. Best wishes and good luck.

Sometimes there's a hold up. I mean, the Great Conductor has got your track coming, but what you can't see is the logistics He's having to work somewhere else to hook you up with a killer caboose!

I know you're bummed right now, pc, but looking back: I can't believe how many of my own hard times led to such great & unexpected things once the coast was clear and the tracks were switched.



Don't miss that train!

reply to post by pcrobotwolf


It's more than just to say you have faith. There is a way to live inwardly. First of all, things go bad for everyone, it is how you believe through it. Second, if you get yourself into situations that you did not use wise judgment in, then you have to accept things will happen you did not expect. Third, you have to have moral integrity about your life.

The biggest problem I see in young people claiming to be believers is that they have not been taught that there is such a thing as moral integrity. That means you have such a respect for personal integrity, you will seek to do only those things that bring integrity into your life. Here is my verse about this very thing...

Psalm 1:1 Blessed is the man that walks not in the council of the ungodly, nor stands in the way of the sinner, nor sits in the seat of the scorners, but his delight shall be in the law of the Lord and in His law does he meditate both night and day.

Don't live for the next circumstance, change the next circumstance, delight in the law of the Lord. The Bible is very clear that we can't sit on the fence, we will fall over to one side or the other. We cannot be double minded, or we will be carried away to every wind of doctrine.

Things will change, but the circumstances will remain as long as you continue to live in its neighborhood. Move out of Lodebar, blessings will come when you walk away from the people who want you to live in the circumstance with them.

Personal integrity means you value the right thing so much, that you will do the right thing always. Moral relativism and the laws of God are not compatible, and if you live like the world, the world assumes you are just like it. And God has no choice but to remove blessings, because people made the choice not to delight in God's law.

Saying curse words is indicative of that, we all can know your walk with God. But we can't judge you for it, all we can do is encourage you to examine your own life to see if you delight in the laws of God. Rain falls on the just and the unjust alike, God is handing you an umbrella so you won't get wet when the rain erodes your foundation.

I never post in this forum ever I consider myself a Darkworker with a good soul but a sick mind. But your plight has moved me.

Life is a grind because the Bible tells us that God wants to make us Stronger the Jew leaving the Desert for the Land of Milk and Honey and such as that.

Life is tough BE tougher than Life. Things will get better or they wont you will get through it or you wont. What you do to make yourself feel better is good in moderation. Another woman will enter your life and don't blame yourself for things you can't control if you were looking for a better answer i ain't got one.

for any of you that want to flame me for what i am or what i said don't bother you'll have to come and find me to do it

reply to post by pcrobotwolf


First off, you have to live your life not like you are seeking the things that will bring you pleasure and satisfaction. That is man's natural instinct.

If we seek the things that will make us happy, fulfilled, etc., or if we seek to save our own lives we will lose them. Whatever you long after in this world will ulimately flee from you.

This is the great lesson in life, that the life we seek is not here, and we should not live for the things that are here, but for the things that are eternal. This is not to say that we shouldn't pay attention to the needs of those that are in our lives. That is key.

I don't mean to preach, I am as bad at living the Way as any man, but that is the truth in the end.

And it is not because there is some vengeful God that likes to see us suffer, it's because we have all bought into the lie. We don't understand the reality that is standing like a mountain of rock behind this veil of illusion.

To understand this you will need to spend much time introspectively. I wish you peace. #, I wish me peace.

reply to post by pcrobotwolf


You hit the nail on the head my friend, there is a lesson to be learned. You are being challenged , and maybe the reason is because you have not learned that lesson. I expereinced an awful tragedy in my life, something that not only impacted me personally, but everyone who is involved in my life. The lesson I learned and the path it sent me on is truly amazing, and so now while it was a very hard way to learn a lesson I am truly humbled for the experience. The events that happen in our life are intended, and yes we do have a say so as to what course of action we take, but in the end we still end up where we are supposed to be. It is good that you feel bad for questioning your faith, because that tells me that you have not lost it. Don't let that negative energy drag you down, what has happened has happened for a reason. Instead of viewing this as an end, realize that this is actually a new beginning. Tell the dark to back off, and let the bright light shine.

PLPL

reply to post by pcrobotwolf

what I'm i supposed to learn from this because it keeps happening?

Sounds to me like God is trying to teach you patience. Patience only comes by enduring tribulations.


"And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience;" ~ Romans 5:3

reply to post by pcrobotwolf


You are experiencing what we all feel in life. There is a principle at work in this. You can compare it to a pendulum. This is revealed in the Bible. You can even find it clearly delineated in a Hermetic axiom which I will quote directly:

"This Principle embodies the truth that in everything there is manifested a measured
motion, to and fro; a flow and inflow; a swing backward and forward; a pendulum-like
movement; a tide-like ebb and flow; a high-tide and low-tide; between the two poles which
exist in accordance with the Principle of Polarity described a moment ago. There is always
an action and a reaction; an advance and a retreat; a rising and a sinking. This is in the
affairs of the Universe, suns, worlds, men, animals, mind, energy, and matter. This law is
manifest in the creation and destruction of worlds; in the rise and fall of nations; in the life of
all things; and finally in the mental states of Man (and it is with this latter that the Hermetists
find the understanding of the Principle most important). The Hermetists have grasped this
Principle, finding its universal application, and have also discovered certain means to
overcome its effects in themselves by the use of the appropriate formulas and methods.
They apply the Mental Law of Neutralization. They cannot annul the Principle, or cause it to
cease its operation, but they have learned how to escape its effects upon themselves to a certain degree depending upon the Mastery of the Principle. They have learned how to USE
it, instead of being USED BY it. In this and similar methods, consist the Art of the Hermetists.
The Master of Hermetics polarizes himself at the point at which he desires to rest, and then
neutralizes the Rhythmic swing of the pendulum which would tend to carry him to the other
pole. All individuals who have attained any degree of Self-Mastery do this to a certain
degree, more or less unconsciously, but the Master does this consciously, and by the use of
his Will, and attains a degree of Poise and Mental Firmness almost impossible of belief on
the part of the masses who are swung backward and forward like a pendulum. This Principle
and that of Polarity have been closely studied by the Hermetists, and the methods of
counteracting, neutralizing, and USING them form an important part of the Hermetic Mental
Alchemy.

What is a Master of Hermetics?

A Master of Hermetics is someone on a path to enlightenment from works. Most religions of the world are based on works. This is because there is great value in Alchemy. Alchemy is speeding up the process of nature. For the mental aspect of a person's intellect, study is a form of alchemy. Expanding awareness is a form of mental alchemy. Assisting others in good works is yet another. The value is clear. Practicing righteousness is a path to raising yourself above the turmoil of this world. What is the harm? The "Ascended Master" as they like to call themselves are working their way to God. This is a false path. Christ is the only path that leads to new life. Does this discount the effort to become better? Not at all. As long as we are keeping our faith on God and working to rise above the waves in life, we are expanding our faith. Faith apart from works is dead. There is no fear in doing good when we place faith in God. God works out our faith as the Good Shepherd. We don't do this task ourselves. This is an important point to make. As soon as we take it on as our job, we say that Christ died for nothing. Again, this is false.

How does this apply to the Bible or religion in general? The turmoil of life can be compared to the waves of the ocean or the swing of the pendulum. The wave comes and we use the floor of the sea to step above the wave so we don't drown. We can also suffer work to swim to calmer waters. Either way, there will always be waves. The trick is to learn what is mentioned above in the quote.

In life, a person either masters circumstances or circumstances master the person. No matter the circumstance, Paul found contentment in the true reward of life. Jobs, cars, women, houses and any material gain can never give true reward. Trusting God in every moment leads to life. Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things will be added to you.

Have you considered that the trials you experience today are preparing you for what comes next? Mastery comes from practice. A smooth sea does not make a skilled sailor.

Originally posted by pcrobotwolf
girlfriends gone and times are getting tough again

All i have ever wanted was a good wife and a nice family

what I'm i supposed to learn from this because it keeps happening?

That you should *not* have a girlfriend?

You said you want a good wife. Then why do you have "girlfriends"?

I don't know if you had, but sexual relations out of marriage are one of the gravest sins.

I know, I know, there will be here now, not only atheists, but also others, maybe christians, who will criticize me - since apparently, especially in the west, it has become the most "normal" thing to even be christian and still have "girlfriends" and "boyfriends", and what not.

Well, you are doing it wrong! And you are going against the beliefs of the one you profess to follow (Christ)!


And: If by "girlfriend" you mean someone you loved and had HONEST intentions to marry, while not only having sexual pleasure with her - then, there may be many reasons behind her leaving you - the most apparent of them being that she was not for you.

Without knowing more on this whole background it's hard to give you a more precise answer though.

As a general orientation if you say "you believe in God" and want to walk his Path, consider this verse:

Do the people think that they will be left to say, "We believe" and they will not be tried? - Qur'an, 29:2

Dont be discouraged! Questioning your faith is healthy. Thats how it grows. No single person or group has the complete answer for you. Continue to develop that for yourself. Otherwise it would be stagnent, and therefore worthless.

I was just thinking to myself, "what would Job's OP look like if he had the internet and ATS at the time satan was attacking him and trying to get him to lose his faith?" Press on, you WILL be stronger after this, cast your worries and cares upon the LORD.

reply to post by pcrobotwolf


Salted with Fire

Mark 9:49 Everyone will be salted with fire.

Hebrews 12:6 Because the Lord disciplines those he loves, and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son."

1 Corinthians 3:10-15 10 By the grace God has given me, I laid a foundation as a wise builder, and someone else is building on it. But each one should build with care. 11 For no one can lay any foundation other than the one already laid, which is Jesus Christ. 12 If anyone builds on this foundation using gold, silver, costly stones, wood, hay or straw, 13 their work will be shown for what it is, because the Day will bring it to light. It will be revealed with fire, and the fire will test the quality of each person’s work. 14 If what has been built survives, the builder will receive a reward. 15 If it is burned up, the builder will suffer loss but yet will be saved—even though only as one escaping through the flames.

You see that we all will be tested with fire, disciplined by the lord. The foundation is the bible. You build yourself through faith and others through works. If your foundation is strong, understanding of the bible, than your faith and your works will reflect this strong foundation. If your foundation, faith or works are weak they will be burned up during your trials in this world. Having this strong foundation and guidance of the Holy Spirit will allow you to stand up against the trials of this world, Gods fire and discipline.

So you see you will suffer loss if your foundation and faith are week because you will succumb to the pressures of this world. But you will still be saved by what foundation and faith that you did have.

I would say don't give up God does punish the ones he loves. I suggest coming to him he is waiting. Believing in him is not really having faith. Picking up the bible expecting it to change your life, that is faith.

Let me share with you something that Jesus taught about prayer. Jesus said that he could only do the will of his father. He also said that he would answer every prayer said in his name. We don’t always know what God’s will is so sometimes we just need to pray that God’s will, is done in our lives. Kind of like saying hey God I see that something is missing so I’m going to let you drive.

We do know that having faith is God’s will. So if you feel like your faith is running low, pray for more. Here is the trick he has to give you more because he promised he would. Instead of praying for something specific pray for something Godly. If you want a wife and kids don’t let it be your will. Keep it simple. God I want the wife that you pick for me, because I don’t have a clue what I need. It is God’s will that if we desire marriage that we marry, so again he has to bring you a wife because he promised he would. The problem is remembering to have patience, and test the women to be sure she is Godly and a believer. If she is not than you know she is not from God.

I will give you an example of a simple prayer you might say. God I will make a commitment to read the New Testament and trust that everything comes from you. Please help me understand the words that I am reading. Help me to repent and live a better life. Build up my faith father and bring me a wife that you choose. Please make sure that all other doors are closed so that I may be confident in the women you choose for me. In the name of Jesus Christ your son who died and forgave my sins.

I myself have prayed this for you now it is up to you to have faith.

Originally posted by sHuRuLuNi

Originally posted by pcrobotwolf
girlfriends gone and times are getting tough again

All i have ever wanted was a good wife and a nice family

what I'm i supposed to learn from this because it keeps happening?

That you should *not* have a girlfriend?

You said you want a good wife. Then why do you have "girlfriends"?

I don't know if you had, but sexual relations out of marriage are one of the gravest sins.

I know, I know, there will be here now, not only atheists, but also others, maybe christians, who will criticize me - since apparently, especially in the west, it has become the most "normal" thing to even be christian and still have "girlfriends" and "boyfriends", and what not.

Well, you are doing it wrong! And you are going against the beliefs of the one you profess to follow (Christ)!


And: If by "girlfriend" you mean someone you loved and had HONEST intentions to marry, while not only having sexual pleasure with her - then, there may be many reasons behind her leaving you - the most apparent of them being that she was not for you.

Without knowing more on this whole background it's hard to give you a more precise answer though.

This is exactly what I was trying to say. We can agree on something. I am a Christian, and have seen Christians think they can live in sexual immorality while the Bible is very clear that we cannot do that.

If I had children, which I never had, I believe I would teach them to seek those things that bring them closer to God in a loving relationship and teach them that there are consequences to our actions. Personal moral integrity is what we are grow in us, without it, we just simply float along waiting for the next bad thing to happen.

Think about this, a young man goes to work on a ship. He does not attempt to learn how to do his job right, he does not attempt to tie the rigging correctly or those manual labor things that are necessary. He does not learn to use the compass, he does not attempt to repair the sails. He just thinks his job is to walk around the ship playing and doing what he wants. So the ship hits a storm, he does not know how to do anything because he refused to. There are other men on the ship who have learned what to do, but suppose those men died? Where would the young man end up? Floating on a sea that he is now unable to get himself out of.

Moral of the story, don't go work on a ship if you don't want to work on a ship. But you have to live the life you have been given, you will either get through it because you learned to navigate, or you will float endlessly.