what i know about politics - a humorous spin from a southern girl!

with all that is going on in the world today there are many groups - party names - left wings - right wings - we got wings - so i started talking to myself again just how comical yet so dividing these different groups are as to be lumped into and neatly comparmentalized - how convenient - here's my conversation with theresa:

Theresa: are you a heavy left wing liberal?
Musselwhite: no, i'm on the right side of things.

Theresa: o, so you are a right-wing rightist?
Musselwhite: i don't think so - i'm just on the right side.

Theresa: ok, i don't understand what you are trying to say; you must be a liberal?
Musselwhite: no, i'm an aries; my son is a libra -

Theresa: are you a democrat or a republican?
Musselwhite: tell me first which one represents the jackass?

Theresa: are you a socialist?
Musselwhite: yes, i would consider myself social - very social indeed.

Theresa: are you a communist?
Musselwhite: no, i have never lived in a commune; i have lived in a homeless shelter - does that count?

Theresa: do you consider yourself as being a part of the southern religious belt?
Musselwhite: well, i was american by birth and southern by the grace of God.

Theresa: what do you think of politics?
Musselwhite: sancho broke it down for me one day - poly means "many" and ticks are blood suckers - we got lots of em!

Theresa: what do you think of the campaign trail so far?
Musselwhite: i'll have to check my underware..............depends.

Theresa: are you a capitalist?
Musselwhite: hell no - that's against T&C - i think it says no caps! no, i never use caps when i post; makes it easier to read.

Theresa: do you believe in a totalitarian society?
Musselwhite: i sure as hell do - i believe everyone should see the total picture and be on the same page - everybody in total agreement - that way we could all move simultaneously in the same direction - know what i mean?

Theresa: what do you think about the rockefellers?
Musselwhite: i don't take too kindly to rocking the fellers past the age of 2 years - dr denmark says don't start the rocking of your baby unless you want to keep it up - gets habit forming -

Theresa: are you a marxist?
Musselwhite: well, around these parts you have to be one - it's a territorial thing in the south and all my neighbors mark their terriroty -

reply to post by musselwhite


Nice. I'm going to have to memorize these.

Whenever someone calls me a racist, I reply.

"What's NASCAR have to do with the conversation, but if you must know, I like the 14 team."

They always do a double take.

S'why I love me some Southern women. And we won't be having none o' those Bi--Parisians either. Who the heck let them frogs have a say so in our bidness?

does anybody know what a nazi is? love the one about the racist! - when people start talking about all these various groups and really, i don't believe most know - i don't and i don't care - it is just a means of dividing people - lots of groups - all neatly woven together - easy to control -

thanks for the wonderful responses - we need a little more humor in our lives today -

Originally posted by The GUT

S'why I love me some Southern women. And we won't be having none o' those Bi--Parisians either. Who the heck let them frogs have a say so in our bidness?

i wouldn't stand bi a partisian either - i am a heterosexual!

You can just crack some jokes when they come to take you to the FEMA camp. That ought to take care of it.

reply to post by CaptChaos
i'll make sure i catch you in a live mouse trap and carry you with me - that will take care of you, little rodent!