When I was in High School back in 1992 I was in a terrible car accident where my friends and I skidded off of a dirt road and flipped upside down into
a river. I flat lined for nearly 8 minutes, and I have a perfect memory of the event.. for better or worse...
I remember it as clear as day. The car immediately filled up with water, there was no slow rising like you see in the movies. It was instant blackness
(as it was nighttime) and I was suspended upside down by my seat belt. My weight made me unable to release the buckle so there I hung, holding my
breath in pitch blackness fully aware of how dire the situation was. The noise of the engine was gone, the music instantly stopped (I will get to to
the irony of the song in a bit), all I could hear were my friends muffled communicating. Ironically I was the only passenger of the 4 of us to be
wearing a seat belt, and the only passenger that was unable to reach the 4 inch breathing pocket on the floorboards, now ceiling, of the car. I could
hear them calling my name as everyone was present but me. So there I was, holding my last breath waiting to die as I realized at the time the
situation was utterly hopeless for me.
In the one last breath I was holding on to,my emotional range went like this, I immediately accepted what was happening and was aware I was going to
die. That was nearly instantaneous. I remember actually saying to myself, "well this is how I am going to die"... and I felt absolute peace about it
after only a split second of anxiety. If I can relate it to any other experience, it is like the anxiety and subsequent relaxation you feel of when
you are in a plane and it first starts taking off down the runway... that twinge of anxiety that goes away once you know things are OK..... but the
anxiety it is so fleeting. My next thoughts were of my family, and wondering how they were going to take it, I felt sorry that they would be
grieving for me.. I remember at the time wishing there was a way I could tell them not to, and that this isn't so bad. I also remember marveling at
how calm, serene and panic free the whole thing seemed. Mind you this is all happening in the span of one breath and so other than that I could hear
my heartbeat slowing down as I held my breath.. then I just drifted off... Almost exactly like falling asleep, but more accurately like getting really
REALLY stoned out of your gourde... I want to say how remarkably different the experience is from when you are in a pool trying to hold your breath
for as long as you can until you come up, shrieking for air like the Kracken of the deep from that movie. In fact it was rather peaceful.
So as I drifted off, my friends were able scrape the floorboards for air, and come up with a plan to kick out a window and swim to safety. After they
were out, they spent about 5 minutes pulling on my legs to no avail, it took my friend Eric to swim back into the car, and either cut or undo my seat
belt (I should ask him which) and then drag me out. On shore I was, according to all present, most decidedly dead, however due to the accident
happening rather close to the fire station, EMT was there moments after I was on the river bank.
So how did I come back? Here is what I remember, I can tell you there certainly was a period of nothingness. Then a period of what I can only describe
as "cognitive reasoning/awareness" for lack of a better term...
After the nothingness, my first awareness was of what can only be described as a water slide made out of stars, much like Star Trek warp drive, but
shaped like a water slide tunnel... the proverbial tunnel of light. I will only dwell on the tunnel part long enough to say that, yep there is a
tunnel.. if you have questions you can ask, and yep its pretty cool.. I'm not saying its spiritual, but its there.
At this point on shore, I could not hear, or feel, but I had the ever so slightest glimpse of awareness.. sort of like when you wake up in a dream,
but on a much more basic level. This awareness only came because I recognized that I could see outside the tunnel rather than just go with it. At this
point I became lucid, and basically I had the thought that I had a choice to live or not..
I can tell you first hand that the acceptance of death was far quicker than the acceptance to return to life, there was a hesitation and a
ponderousness...I cant remember what my hangup was, but I do remember that my body was not begging to live. After I made the choice to live, it was
very much like you see in the movies, where you are snapped back to reality. I was immediately aware I had a body, I could hear, my head hurt, there
was commotion, I was freezing cold... The lucid clarity I had before I made that choice to live, was immediately replaced by what felt like the most
hellish hangover you have ever had... Unlike the tunnel of light, which I can write off as my body's biological reaction to lack of oxygen, etc...
this is the part that gets me and I want to talk with other NDE peeps about it, that lucid awareness before I came back haunts me because I cannot
explain it. Simply because my brain did not become more and more aware as this unfolded, but was completely lucid (I swear I could have done complex
math) without any bodily awareness, and then once I accepted life, my body kicked in full gear but my brain went back to that near lifeless trauma
state. Maybe my central nervous system kicked on and overloaded my brain?
The days and weeks that followed were a struggle, my body stiffened from the accident took a few days to be able to fully bend my arms and legs
Was I dead? Well I was certainly flat lined, and I certainly was not coming back without intervention of some sort. As a result I do not fear death
when it happens again because I know how peaceful and serene the actual moment is when it comes, There is nothing to fear.. That being said I am glad
to be here 20 years later still experiencing life along with everyone else who was in the car that night.
Oh by the way, the song that was playing was free bird.
edit on 4-1-2012 by mrperplexed because: A few typos..
edit on 4-1-2012 by mrperplexed because: more
edit on 4-1-2012 by mrperplexed because: even more typos! and a few more thoughts