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I Reported a Child Molester

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posted on Jan, 3 2012 @ 07:03 PM
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Originally posted by DetectiveT
Find out what school she goes to. Then contact the teacher and or principal. Now the school will/should have feelers out to see if this child shows any signs of abuse. Be sure to reiterate that this is only what you have heard and make sure you don't outright profess his guilt. You are concerned and only ask that they keep their eyes open and be made aware of the possible situation. You don't want to get hit with spreading lies and false rumors when all you are trying to do is make sure the kid is ok. From what you tell of the mother I'd wager she would side with the boy and go for your wallet. Even if the school is aware an outside report may be all they need to move forward or it may draw the wanted attention to it.


Thanks Detective...

As laid out in the original OP, this was EXACTLY the route i took in the beginning....I actually KNOW where the girl goes to school, and contacted a family member of mine who just so happens to be a social worker INSIDE our local board of education. She tells me that this is EXACTLY how things are done. The chain of command is as follows....DFACS - Social Worker - School Councelors - DEFACS....

As badly as she wanted to get that ball rolling, she hit the same brick wall i did. She can't make a move until instructed so by the DFACS....The DFACS is the brick wall here...


Originally posted by DetectiveT

Is there any way you or the woman whom she told could get the girl alone for a few minutes?


This is actually the second idea i had.....So, this little girl may be being molested, and me, a 30 something hairy bearded man wants to pull her to the side and talk to her in private?

I had mixed emotions about this....

What if she's been abused for so long that she thinks that this is what ALL men want?...
What if she dosn't even know that its WRONG?...
what if she told the girl across the street not because she wanted help but just to make conversation, like nothing is even wrong with whats going on between her older brother and her?
What if she's under the illusion, as MOST young 8 year olds are, that she'll be getting MARRIED to her molester one day. Like this is how grown ups go about it.

Ugh....it's a real touchy situation i know....




posted on Jan, 3 2012 @ 07:03 PM
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Originally posted by StealthyKat
reply to post by gabby2011
 


No....if SHE said these things, there is probably something going on. Of course, sometimes it may not be true....but most of the time it is. ESPECIALLY if there are people in the home using drugs. I would much rather see her spend a few days away from home while it's being investigated, then to have her molested for a few more days while no one does anything. I deal with this in my job, and I have seen these type of situations turn out very bad.....if a child is in danger, to hell with the accused....if they are innocent, that will be determined. It's the defenseless child who is the priority. If she is taken from the home, she will be seen by a child psychologist who will talk to her and explain things to her to alleviate her fears. This is a time to think only of the child in question. Most children don't say things like this unless something is going on. You can't say, "I won't help her because someone else might hurt her".....the chances of that are less than the chances that she already IS being abused.
edit on 1/3/2012 by StealthyKat because: sp


I understand where you are coming from.. and I would believe her as well..but she needs to understand that she can say no as well.. and that she will need to exercise her rights to say no..in many situations...and hopefully she will get counseling for this.

The best case scenario would be that her brother stops doing it.. and to repair the family situation. When children realize that if they talk about such things the family is broken up.. that sometimes prevents them from doing so. Though in some cases maybe the child wants to go somewhere else.

Its a sad situation all the way around.. but I tell you from what I have read and heard around here.. foster care is CRAP !! ..and many who do it do it soley for the money..and don't have a care for what the children have been through..or what they are exposed to in the foster care home.



posted on Jan, 3 2012 @ 07:12 PM
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Another thing comes to mind when I read this.. we live in an era where sexuality is flaunted daily.. and considered to be the next greatest thing to sliced bread..

Children also have a natural curiosity about it.. and we need to educate them much more on valuing sex and its purpose.

To shame and judge this boy isn't going to help any of them.. and he needs to realize he was wrong..but also that he can be forgiven...and that the little girl needs to stand up for herself..she is 8 that is old enough to understand...and to be taught that she can say no.

Makes me wonder how many families would be intact if every child spoke out about sexual curiosity they had as children.. and were enticed into things they later regretted.

its carzy that as a society we splash sex everywhere.. but are ready to hang a 16 year old for manipulating his sister.

Its wrong.. no doubt about it.. but there has to be a better way to get it under control.. than snatching kids away and putting them into the system..where it can happen again.



posted on Jan, 3 2012 @ 07:20 PM
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Originally posted by gabby2011
she is 8 that is old enough to understand...and to be taught that she can say no.


How do we know that she DIDN'T say no? Maybe her brother threatened her, told her he would kill her or their mother if she told. We don't know what happened.

The brother is older, bigger, stronger, if he wants to hurt her I'm pretty sure he can whether she says no or not.

Even if she says "yes" (God, I feel sick just typing this) it doesn't matter, because she's just a child, she's not old enough to understand how serious this situation is. So "yes" or "no" don't really matter where child abuse is concerned. It's WRONG, plain and simple.
edit on 3-1-2012 by Casandra because: (no reason given)



posted on Jan, 3 2012 @ 07:24 PM
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Please, to everyone, i know you want to help, and THANK YOU, all of you, but please read the original TWO posts in their entirety before replying....

To anyone wanting me to go through the school, please know, as stated in the OP, that this was my first plan and was implemented....it was a brick wall...

reply to post by Kester
 


starred you. Great post.....GREAT post..

reply to post by StealthyKat
 

starred you too....thank you....Checking these out RIGHT NOW....


I think one of the problems i'm seeing here is, sure, you need to tell....If you're the little girl, you need to tell...If you're the neighbor who knows, you need to tell....

But how do you tell?....and who do you tell?..

Got alot of great advice here guys, and it looks like some logical conversation going on as well....



posted on Jan, 3 2012 @ 07:26 PM
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reply to post by gabby2011
 


Gabby....first, you know I respect you, and I'm not trying to be a know it all.....but that just isn't the way it is. I have personal and work experience with this. You cannot just hope the brother stops doing it....or say the child should "learn to say no". She is 8 or 9....he is 16. How do we know he isn't raping her and threatening her? How do you just say no to a big teenage boy who can physically overpower her? I know your heart is in the right place, but I'll bet you have never been in this situation. I have....and like I said, I deal with these types of things almost daily at work. CPS has some bad things happen....but so do hospitals, schools, and anywhere else a child goes in life. Odds are, she would only be gone a few days....and be with very kind and caring people. It's just like anything, there are bad things everywhere. Most abusers either shame or threaten their victim, and most children are afraid to talk to anyone about it. We can't just not help a child who we think is in danger because "someone else MIGHT hurt her"....the chances of that are remote. I mean...I MIGHT get hit by a truck on my way to get groceries.....but does that mean I should starve because I am afraid of that? As for her family, if he is abusing her, I'll bet that the family suspects it, and just hasn't done anything. Maybe they are afraid of the brother too.The fact is....we don't know what is happening to her....so it needs to be checked out. Abusers don't just stop. They just don't.
edit on 1/3/2012 by StealthyKat because: (no reason given)



posted on Jan, 3 2012 @ 07:33 PM
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Originally posted by Casandra

Originally posted by gabby2011
she is 8 that is old enough to understand...and to be taught that she can say no.


How do we know that she DIDN'T say no? Maybe her brother threatened her, told her he would kill her or their mother if she told. We don't know what happened.

The brother is older, bigger, stronger, if he wants to hurt her I'm pretty sure he can whether she says no or not.

Even if she says "yes" (God, I feel sick just typing this) it doesn't matter, because she's just a child, she's not old enough to understand how serious this situation is. So "yes" or "no" don't really matter where child abuse is concerned. It's WRONG, plain and simple.
edit on 3-1-2012 by Casandra because: (no reason given)


No we don't know the details..and that is why it is important that someone does come and talk to her.. and gently get out of her how this occurs.

Then someone needs to talk to the boy..and make him realize how this isn't right.

Yes..it is wrong..plain and simple.. but how do we teach that it is wrong while at the same time letting them know they can be forgiven?

How do we know what her brother has been exposed to?

Its a vicious circle.. in world where sexuality is splashed everywhere.

The children of this world need to be counseled more about sex.. from a young age..and we also need to pray for them.

All we have now is the story of the Op.. and he seems to have already given up on this family.

Jesus has not given up on them..and loves them all as much as He loves any of us.. and wishes for their healing.. and their repentance.

I find it sad that those who hate the nanny state run to the state with problems of children instead of trying to resolve them within the family first.



posted on Jan, 3 2012 @ 07:40 PM
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Originally posted by StealthyKat
reply to post by gabby2011
 


Gabby....first, you know I respect you, and I'm not trying to be a know it all.....but that just isn't the way it is. I have personal and work experience with this. You cannot just hope the brother stops doing it....or say the child should "learn to say no". She is 8 or 9....he is 16. How do we know he isn't raping her and threatening her? How do you just say no to a big teenage boy who can physically overpower her? I know your heart is in the right place, but I'll bet you have never been in this situation. I have....and like I said, I deal with these types of things almost daily at work. CPS has some bad things happen....but so do hospitals, schools, and anywhere else a child goes in life. Odds are, she would only be gone a few days....and be with very kind and caring people. It's just like anything, there are bad things everywhere. Most abusers either shame or threaten their victim, and most children are afraid to talk to anyone about it. We can't just not help a child who we think is in danger because "someone else MIGHT hurt her"....the chances of that are remote. I mean...I MIGHT get hit by a truck on my way to get groceries.....but does that mean I should starve because I am afraid of that? As for her family, if he is abusing her, I'll bet that the family suspects it, and just hasn't done anything. Maybe they are afraid of the brother too.The fact is....we don't know what is happening to her....so it needs to be checked out. Abusers don't just stop. They just don't.
edit on 1/3/2012 by StealthyKat because: (no reason given)



Oh ..I'm not saying not to help her..more on how to help her ..as well as her brother.

As far as abusers just not stopping.. I disagree.. I think many men who are grown up today have done things they regret as young men or children..and have moved way passed it...and have accepted forgiveness from others as well as themselves and God.

There has to be a better way to healing and repairing these types of situations.. than taking children away..though I agree that is needed at times..especially in certain situations.
I don't know the situation here.. and I'm not saying don't deal with it...whether he is threatening her or not.








edit on 3-1-2012 by gabby2011 because: (no reason given)



posted on Jan, 3 2012 @ 07:46 PM
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Originally posted by gabby2011

There has to be a better way to healing and repairing these types of situations.. than taking children away..though I agree that is needed at times..especially in certain situations.


Wouldn't this qualify as one of those situations? The mother has a drug problem, keeps bringing "suspicious" men to her house, the son is a child molester, the little girl the victim, and the grandmother also has strange men around. It doesn't sound like a good environment to raise children.

You can't let the family resolve this problem when they see nothing wrong in the way they are living. Someone has to intervene.

edit on 3-1-2012 by Casandra because: (no reason given)



posted on Jan, 3 2012 @ 07:47 PM
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If I understand the OP correctly, the family knows what happened to some extent.
The mother and grandmother know.

This is something that is WAY to common.

I never understood how a parent can turn a blind eye, or not believe a child who says someone is touching them inappropriately.

It boggles my mind. My kids make up stuff all the time, but not THAT kind of stuff, and an 8 year old? I seriously doubt it.

I was not believed,
and I know lots of other people who were not believed as children.

It takes YEARS of therapy to help a person become not a victim, but a survivor of sexual abuse,
if they survive at all. Most self destruct before they hit their mid 20's.
And those that don't,without help, they will carry terrible guilt and shame their entire lives.
It will rule their sleep, eating, social life, every aspect.

They walk through life with PTSD and don't know it.

If a child EVER says they were molested....
I do not care who you are, do WHAT YOU CAN to help them stop the abuse and help them heal, because
without someone who really cares, they are doomed.

For every 1 child who made up a story, there are 1000's who did not.
This makes me angry when I see posts saying children lie.

Lie or not, it MUST be checked out!!



posted on Jan, 3 2012 @ 08:00 PM
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Originally posted by OneEleven
Topics for discussion would be ( I Guess):

Are the laws for reporting child abuse and are the actions taken afterwards the same in your State or Country?
What would you do?
What has the world come to when an honest man's word isn't enough to at least warrant a questioning?
What sort of 'service' does the Department of Family And Children Services provide? (aside from Food Stamps)
How many reports are needed?
How many times being molested is one too many?

Its really killing me inside.


Sadly,you've done all you could.Unfortunately in today's world,given so many false reports that are made that's just how it is.As to why they require more then one.It makes sense.What's to stop me from reporting a neighbor I've had a fight with as a child molester?Should they arrest him because I said it's true?That's something that can and will ruin a persons life.It's also something that should and does require extraordinary proof.And do not forget children do and will lie.Not saying the child in your case is.But it does happen.

Here where I am I have a KNOWN child molester living next door to me.He's been reported numerous times not only by me but by neighbors as well for having underage children on his property.Unfortunately,the cops would come,speak with him then they'd leave and feed us some bull# about how they can't go into his house.But they send his parole officers right after.He usually had enough time to get rid of the children.I say 'children' but really,these kids appear to be around 15-16.Short story,this man also has cameras all around his yard.One faced directly down the side of the house..My daughter and my neice(both females,under age 5) were in the yard playing this past summer when my neice noticed the camera was pointing over my fence into the yard.I immediately called the police and told them what was going on.They sent his p.o out and MADE him take down every single camera.Of course he claimed he wasn't doing anything and it was for his own protection..But since then the cops and his p.o are out here every day checking on him.And I nor the neighbors have seen any underage kids on his property.

Sorry,didn't mean to derail your thread.I suppose the point of my story is that maybe if you do keep up with it...eventually SOMETHING will be done.
edit on 3-1-2012 by nightstalker78 because: (no reason given)



posted on Jan, 3 2012 @ 08:01 PM
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reply to post by Casandra
 





Wouldn't this qualify as one of those situations? The mother has a drug problem, keeps bringing "suspicious" men to her house, the son is a child molester, the little girl the victim, and the grandmother also has strange men around. It doesn't sound like a good environment to raise children. You can't let the family resolve this problem when they see nothing wrong in the way they are living. Someone has to intervene.


The son could have been a victim as well.. so he may need help as well.

The mother needs help as well.. and just because the grandmother has strange men around to help.. who are we to judge?

What I am saying is that many families have problems.. and those are helped along by society and how we view sexuality and how little girls look up to madonna..and brittney spears and the rest of them who project it on to us. and are viewed as queens of pop..and adulated.

We are all part of this problem whether we realize it or not.. so we don't know if her brother is cruelly terrorizing her.. or if he is just getting off on MTV and getting his little sister to participate.

WE JUST DON"T KNOW..

many families need help..and prayers..and healing.. families that live in great big beautiful neighborhoods with no drug problems can have the same issues....so to target this family because of the situation is really not addressing that it happens a lot more than we think in the homes of the rich.. the middle class..in homes where parents go take their families to church every week.

maybe we should all pray for God to bring purity and a healthy respect for sexuality back into society..because I really think Jesus is saddened by so much of what happens...and it isn't just to families with drug problems or 'strange" men staying with them.



posted on Jan, 3 2012 @ 08:04 PM
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reply to post by gabby2011
 


You are right...the cycle needs to be stopped....and odds are her brother may have been abused. In fact...it's likely. I agree with what you said about that. However, to touch on what you said about Jesus etc....if you believe that, then you believe there is evil also. Sometimes it is as simple as that. Sometimes, they KNOW it's wrong, and that is part of the excitement for them. Sick....I know. But it's true, and there are some people who are just plain BAD.. There is a need for family counseling and all that you mentioned....but if there is even a chance a child is being abused....the FIRST priority is to get the child in a safe place, THEN make that determination. The rest should be done, but only after the child is safe, and an investigation is done.The boy may very well know what he is doing, ....and even if he doesn't, and is only repeating HIS abuse, what does that matter at the moment? The girl is in danger if this is true. Child abuse kills a child emotionally for life. Serail killers may have had trauma in their lives, or looked at violent porn or whatever, but does that mean we should not punish them, or remove them from society? If the boy has been abused, I would like someone to help him too, but at the same time, it does not mean that someone shouldn't get the little girl out of his reach ASAP. What if it is true, and he finds out she told someone....and kills her? It happens.



posted on Jan, 3 2012 @ 08:11 PM
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Originally posted by gabby2011

The son could have been a victim as well.. so he may need help as well.

The mother needs help as well..


I agree that they need help too, but AFTER the little girl has been removed from this dangerous situation, where she is left under the care of the brother.

After the girl is put in a safe place, the mother can be sent to rehab and the brother to... I don't know how the laws work there. Maybe they'll send him to prison? But he's a minor, so I don't know.

The thing is they need to separate the brother and sister because if they don't, the abuse will continue to happen. After that, they can get help for the rest of the family, but the girl is the priority.



posted on Jan, 3 2012 @ 08:16 PM
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Originally posted by StealthyKat
reply to post by gabby2011
 


You are right...the cycle needs to be stopped....and odds are her brother may have been abused. In fact...it's likely. I agree with what you said about that. However, to touch on what you said about Jesus etc....if you believe that, then you believe there is evil also. Sometimes it is as simple as that. Sometimes, they KNOW it's wrong, and that is part of the excitement for them. Sick....I know. But it's true, and there are some people who are just plain BAD.. There is a need for family counseling and all that you mentioned....but if there is even a chance a child is being abused....the FIRST priority is to get the child in a safe place, THEN make that determination. The rest should be done, but only after the child is safe, and an investigation is done.The boy may very well know what he is doing, ....and even if he doesn't, and is only repeating HIS abuse, what does that matter at the moment? The girl is in danger if this is true. Child abuse kills a child emotionally for life. Serail killers may have had trauma in their lives, or looked at violent porn or whatever, but does that mean we should not punish them, or remove them from society? If the boy has been abused, I would like someone to help him too, but at the same time, it does not mean that someone shouldn't get the little girl out of his reach ASAP. What if it is true, and he finds out she told someone....and kills her? It happens.


I agree with you kat..it needs to be looked into..and yes there is evil out there.. and I would say one of the devils biggest trump cards is using sexuality to manipulate humans ...and it doesn't just happen with families with drug problems.

Lots of what ifs.. yes he could kill her.. but honestly.. if you want to be afraid that he could kill.. why tell me that I shouldn't be afraid for what could happen to her in foster care...there have been children 3 years old who have died terrible deaths in foster care around these parts...children taken away from parents because of drug use.. but put into a system that isn't watching over them any better .

Thats the sad truth of it.

Yes take the child away to a safe place... BUT..assure that it is a safe place.. can we count on government workers to do that?
edit on 3-1-2012 by gabby2011 because: (no reason given)



posted on Jan, 3 2012 @ 08:35 PM
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reply to post by StealthyKat
 





Child abuse kills a child emotionally for life.


There is nothing that Jesus cannot heal..and He has helped many abuse victims with their emotions and trauma..and has even lead them to forgive the abusers.

Not saying all of them have come to that point.. but some have.

The power of love and forgiveness and compassion can work miracles..



posted on Jan, 3 2012 @ 08:42 PM
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reply to post by gabby2011
 


Personally I don't think subjecting a child to religion is even CLOSE to an answer to their trauma.

The last thing a child needs is religion pushed down their throat as they are hurting and confused.
To me that is a greedy thing to do on the part of a Christian.

ALTHOUGH......


Most Christians mean well, and care a lot. You can never give a child to much love.



posted on Jan, 3 2012 @ 08:44 PM
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Originally posted by OneEleven

This is actually the second idea i had.....So, this little girl may be being molested, and me, a 30 something hairy bearded man wants to pull her to the side and talk to her in private?

I had mixed emotions about this....

What if she's been abused for so long that she thinks that this is what ALL men want?...
What if she dosn't even know that its WRONG?...
what if she told the girl across the street not because she wanted help but just to make conversation, like nothing is even wrong with whats going on between her older brother and her?
What if she's under the illusion, as MOST young 8 year olds are, that she'll be getting MARRIED to her molester one day. Like this is how grown ups go about it.

Ugh....it's a real touchy situation i know....

At least if you record the conversation you have some evidence to work with. It's funny how these days life on this planet has made adults scared to talk to children.

Anyway whatever you do, it should be done carefully I agree. Hope it turns out well.
edit on 3-1-2012 by _Phoenix_ because: (no reason given)



posted on Jan, 3 2012 @ 09:30 PM
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Originally posted by _Phoenix_

It's funny how these days life on this planet has made adults scared to talk to children.


seriously?....afraid to talk to children?....a bit of a stretch...

First off, i HAVE children...i talk to them...I talk to their friends...I wave to the kids around the neighborhood, and i even smile at babies in the grocery store....

Its a completely different situation when you approach an 8 year old that is practically a stranger to you and you to her about what goes on underneath her panties....wouldn't you agree?

No....I don't think you have to be 'scared' to ask an 8 year old about her virginity, you just have to know what's appropriate......

The 'direct approach' dosn't really sit well with me on this one for multiple reasons....



posted on Jan, 3 2012 @ 09:41 PM
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Sad story.

IU think it is time you get a little vocal with the authorities.........

Hound them 24/7................They will get tired of it and respond.


Never give up......................

Maybe even write a letter to the editor at the local paper.




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