Does your love have a secret life?..and you don't know about it.

reply to post by caladonea

.many of the former spouses of serial killers that have been caught....didn't know.

Those are rare cases,and it is scary,but I think is not the case here.

reply to post by FissionSurplus

they are hiding something.

They always hide something you never know the person you are live next to,but talking always do good,those who are close minds don't talk and they live in a permanent lie.

Seems like any such secrets would be hard to keep in this day and age. We're all so connected to each other, with so many devices and media, that it'd be difficult for one not to always know where their partner is, and what they are doing.

If there are such gaps, it probably means something's going on. My wife and I are pretty open, and we can both access each other's email and phones, etc. Not that we do, but the fact that we could certainly builds trust. If one of us suddenly wasn't so available, it would likely mean something was up.

reply to post by Gazrok

we can both access each other's email and phones, etc

Then you are one happy person.

Of course your partner has some secrets, it may not be mind blowing, but everyone has them and should, you don't give yourself completely to your partner, they have to have some sense of individuality.

reply to post by nixie_nox

secrets,

Many secrets we know,about many things but we don't speak because.....you never know who else know the same secret.

reply to post by Taupin Desciple

See how easy that was

Hmm,if I tell you some things...like person A meet person B and ....go to...and...better not to speak,but I know more then they know about themselves.Chilling ,ain't it?

i dated someone for several months and he had a secret life. i fully believe he is a psychopath and capable of anything. he is very careful to keep himself from getting caught. he has many many many people fooled. i'm one of the very few people who know some of the things he's done.

reply to post by pasiphae

capable of anything.

That is the dangerous part of the problem,how to stay away from such persons,before they get into your life.

reply to post by diamondsmith


yes. he's extremely charming and has so many people fooled. i was lucky enough to see red flags and take note of each of them. i still have dreams about him and there are certain places i don't go without scanning the parking lot for his car.

most psychopaths are never detected. you've probably known or met many and never knew it. he's got lots of friends.... it was like dating a celebrity. everywhere we went someone would say "hi".

i guess it's good that he likes to keep his cover so he stays to himself a lot. he picked me because he falsely thought i had inherited money. i think his other reason was if he could manage to keep me fooled i was a good "cover" for his dark side.

reply to post by pasiphae

you've probably known or met many and never knew it.

There are many types of behavior and that is a great ability to make psychological portrait of person in first five minutes.For example when you see some pictures you can say combined with the speech what kind of a person you deal with,you must have eyes and a delicate spirit of analysis.But is hard to know someone before it hurt you.

reply to post by diamondsmith


i agree. although true psychopaths are usually hard to detect.

i have PTSD due to my experience (a common outcome after being involved with a psychopath). he never hurt me but the whole thing did a major number on my life.

Originally posted by pasiphae
reply to post by diamondsmith

 

i agree. although true psychopaths are usually hard to detect.

i have PTSD due to my experience (a common outcome after being involved with a psychopath). he never hurt me but the whole thing did a major number on my life.

Person behaves exchanger is most likely what you say, in terms of your trauma they become addicted physically of the people they assault.

reply to post by diamondsmith


yes, i think his main entertainment is seeing how much he can fool people. as far as i know he hasn't physically hurt anyone in the last 10 years but that's only what i know. as far as emotional harm he's done that to many. he enjoys seeing how many people he can fool at one time. it's very creepy. he's an atheist who believes in the devil if that gives you an idea.

reply to post by pasiphae

how much he can fool people

No,you mean suffer.

yes, many people have suffered due to his actions. including (and most importantly ) his very young daughter. most people who know him now believe all his lies (not a day goes by that he doesn't lie about something). he even ruined one womans marriage and she still believes everything he says. they work together.

i'm not even sure if he is the age he claims to be. i got some information from a woman who has known him since the 6th grade... she thought his brother was older than him when in fact his brother is younger. he's missing 2 years of school but i'm not sure when. he entered highschool 2 years behind and graduated at almost the age of 20.

it's all VERY weird.

reply to post by pasiphae

information from a woman

Always try to get info before starting a relation,it's the better way to stay safe from people like this.

reply to post by diamondsmith


the thing is i met this person first in '95 (it's really quite a long story - he found me again in early february of last year). i knew people he knew who like him and he seemed respectable. most of us don't go around hiring PI's to find out every thing regarding the person we might date. and that's how the psychopath gets around. they know most of us assume people we meet are on the up and up. i knew he had many friends. i knew he had a good job. i knew he had a nice house. there was nothing to even make me remotely suspect he had a dark side.... other than a gut feeling i had 16 years ago.

i don't regret the entire thing even though he messed up my life.

reply to post by pasiphae

other than a gut feeling

You see there's always a first feeling that takes you to a person ,but we don't realize it, and we let our self caught in the game without thinking.That first feeling we should always follow,that bit of doubt in our hearts is the real truth.

reply to post by diamondsmith


my gut is usually right but i also doubt it more than i ever should. most of us do. no one wants to believe someone is that bad. i wanted to be trusting and not a bitch who didn't give him a chance. the second time he came into my life (the first time was very brief) i thought i HAD to have been wrong all those years ago. i don't like to think of myself as distrustful. it's not often you run into someone who is that bad... i thought i had a better chance of winning the lottery. i generally didn't have really bad things happening and i have for the most part steered away from drama and crazy people. i have had brushes with them but never anything major. i was a great target. trusting, nice, stable. no major horrible events in my life. but i had turned him down years and years ago. blew him off. i think i was a challenge in the beginning and then i became a target because he thought i had money.