reply to post by Astyanax
If you had read what I posted earlier with more care, you would have understood that I spoke of two kinds of deception.
I read it quiet well, I just wanted you to elaborate on what I already figured out. For the benefit of the unaware observer out there. Because I must
admit, when it comes to charismatic obfuscation, you most certainly take the cake. You should get a job sugar coating stuff. You made some fairly
sociopathic sentiments almost stomach-able.
If you had read what I posted earlier with more care, you would have understood that I spoke of two kinds of deception. First, the little deceptions
that couples (as well as friends, colleagues and associates) practise upon each other every day. I understand that many ATS members are unworldly and
socially maladroit, but surely everyone understands these common deceptions: agreeing with someone for the sake of peace, pretending to like some dish
because another person has gone to some trouble to cook it for you, complimenting an incompetent versifier on his poetry, etc.
And you wake up 20 years later forgetting who you are and who you are with? It just sounds like short term thinking carried out over a long period of
time. Yeah a person shouldn't be blunt about the truth, but it doesn't mean it has to be hidden. It is a crueler thing to not gently correct a
person over time. If I was writing horrible poetry I would want to know. So I could improve upon myself. And if the gal was cooking something she
thought I liked when i didn't, I would like to hope she would want to know what I really like(and vice versa, I may not be the greatest cook but I
try) so she too could improve upon herself too.
Also about the facts, agreeing to "keep the peace", I have better things than to suffer the presence of a perpetual child. Facts should be outside
ones ego. Sure it is nice to "want to be right", but it is a HUGE RED FLAG if a person "has to be right". Granted some things are a matter of
pure opinion, and as opinion it is just that. And it is more so a matter of who cares more about the opinion.
You mentioned adultery, but in a way that shows you haven't thought very hard about it.
Consider that many couples must endure long separations from each other: sailors, oil-rig workers, migrant labourers, military personnel posted abroad
and many others are obliged to spend long periods separated from their spouses. Now everyone is human, and sex is a fierce drive; sometimes, adultery
is inevitable. Both partners may know or suspect what the other is doing; yet the matter is never mentioned, and the pretence of fidelity, necessary
for the preservation of a marriage valued by both, is maintained.
So about that adultery? Maybe I have better things to do then to excuse it? The difference is your sugar coating it, while I am merely, albeit
crudely, calling a spade a spade. My neurological type, doesn't afford me the ability to split hairs. Adultery is wrong no matter how you splice
it(well wrong for me, what is right for others may or may not be right for me and what is right for me may or may not be right for others).
Maybe I am just a strange weirdo that thinks people should say what they mean and mean what they say. Because everything that happens on the micro,
will inevitably find itself in the macro. If we tolerate corruption, deception in our day to day lives, that corruption will only spread until it
encompasses every aspect in society.
But I concede that we will never see eye to eye. You have to understand, I view sex as an expression of love. I don't view it as an end unto itself.
To view it that way is an incredibly painful thing from my perspective, and as such it biases me.
So in that context, I view what those officers are doing/planning to do, as an incredibly painful, harmful and socially destructive course of action.
And it is very much a form of emotional abuse. No different then guy's who prey upon desperate gal's looking for emotional love, or the French
instructor who preyed upon a young man just to get knocked up and go back to her lesbian lover etc. I don't believe one person has the right to play
with and to deceive another persons heart. Not intentionally atleast. Sometimes it happens unintentionally and it is sad for everyone involved. But to
consciously and intentionally spread such pain and misery is unforgivable.