Borderline Personality Disorder And "Splitting", page 4

reply to post by Hithe Merinos

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2 weeks before that tried to injure himself by bottle.
Complaints: low mood last 1 month, sleeping problems,suicidal thoughts, hypnagogic whispers, anxious, restless. feels people watching him, was afraid of people.
Uses cannabis last 5 years almost everyday for its calming and dismissive effect.
Psychiatrist: prevalent depressive thoughts, thoughts narrowed, auditory hallucinations, delusional perception, attention and concentration difficulties. Mood swing at hospital (2-3 days hypomanic, writing new recipes, then low mood, suicidal thought back again)

reply to post by galacticgirl

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It's funny that you say "Time has speeded up" I have had that same feeling for the past few months. Very odd. As for the subject of BPD i am begining to realise it is a very complicated medical condition.

reply to post by Hithe Merinos

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John’s story

How to move on?
30 yrs old male, lives with partner and 2 months old son.
Chef in restaurant.
Acute psychiatric unit: threatened to kill his wife and 1 month old son.
On admission: had blood over his face and hands. He had injured himself by whisky glass.
Paranoid delusions:

I realize this will not suit most of my professional cohorts and many others . . . however

This case just screams DEMONIC involvement, to me. Particularly the relentless suicide element. That suicide element is not likely to go away unless and until some loving group helps facilitate deliverance AND TEACHES HIM HOW TO RESIST AND STAY FREE.

He has invited, fondled, carressed, made friends with suicidal demonic forces as his only way out of his pain. He has no idea the pain he is risking, inviting.

Medications may leave him somewhat functional in a chemical straight-jacket but that is not freedom.

Also, imho, an extensive amount of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy would likely be helpful.

What a tortured soul. Sigh.

reply to post by galacticgirl

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There's a reason why this is a focus at this particular moment in time. Many of us can feel it around us - time has speeded up and everything on the planet seems to be coming to a head all at the same time.
I have a knowing that people interacting with BPD and those who have it are having the same experience: everything is coming to a head.

INDEED. INDEED.

Interesting that folks with BPD are noting it. Can you elaborate, please? What have they said leaving you with that impression? How many have you been in contact with?

reply to post by Hithe Merinos

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auditory hallucinations, delusional perception, attention and concentration difficulties.

SOME of that may well be due to, via demonic personages/critters.

There are mental health professionals who have such a perspective and are able to deal with the demonic. Failing that, IF I was serious about helping him beyond some of the worst stuff and the suicidal stuff, I'd seek out some skilled and experienced, alert, informed folks who were gifted, trained in demonic deliverance and who had dealt with very tough cases extensively and had a track record for seeing them through.

Of course, "John" would have to WANT free sufficiently and truly AND be willing to pay the persistent cost of disciplining his thoughts and statements to himself etc. to stay free--at least to make progress toward such.

AND he would need family members to be incorporated into the process and agreeable with and somewhat willing to become also a bit trained in helping with such . . . and very supportive of such.

Otherwise, I see no lasting hope for John.

All the meds and hospitilizations in the world will not likely free him from the suicidal oppressions, rumminations, efforts.

reply to post by fyredansyr

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Fortunately I was able to get into a dialectical behavioral therapy program made for treating bpd. I also began to see a therapist that actually cared. These people believed I could change my behavior because they have seen many just like me change.

YEA! YEA! YEA!

I'm going to have to study up on dialectical BH therapy. IIRC, it is an offshoot of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy tailored to BPD and came along well after I quit formally dealing with such and focused more on my university teaching overseas.

Most folks could stand to REWIRE a LOT of their STINKIN' THINKIN'.

I much agree that folks can change. And, as I like to say--as long as there's life, there's hope.

Persistence is necessary for many successful things in life.

I also believe that it is somewhat crucial to have a more or less FAMILY SYSTEMS approach wherein the family is well integrated into and trained into the process.

Thanks for sharing.

reply to post by alldaylong

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My mother is BPD, and (SURPRISE!) my ex wife of 16 years is BPD. Both increasingly strayed across that line into psychosis in their forties.

Some observations:

Splitting: Many misunderstand the term as referring to the psychotic episodes or as if referring to split personalities. As has been made clear by the OP and others-- it is the apparent view of the BPD person that others in their relations are sometimes virtually "all bad" or "all good."

My mother always had one all good person in the immediate family-- either my brother, my Dad, or me. It changes quickly and unexpectedly-- hours to even months as one or the other. Intuitively, my Dad and I knew not to take advantage of being the "all good" person when it was either his turn or mine-- and use that against the others. My brother is brilliant in many ways but emotional intelligence is not his strength-- so he exploits his times in the "all good" status.

I'm going to give observations which seem to be typical but not usually listed as symptomatic. The DSM (Diagnostic Statistical Manual) lists behaviors and symptoms only for the purpose of diagnosis-- so the list is as short as possible.

* Splitting is somewhat predictable in hindsight. When in the "all good role" the victim will see clear signs of the BPD person being introspective, and almost apologetic for past behaviors. Using the fresh insight, the victim will take this as a sign that things are getting healthy and normal relationship tactics will work. They seem to work for a short time. But the the BPD person will begin to fight against the guilt and decide that the "all good" person is misleading them, instead of trying to gain a fresh and forgiving start. "All bad" follows as soon as the introspection is predominated by a sense of guilt and shame.

* You know you are the "all good" person when the BPD person "shares" with you the faults (real or more than likely, imagined) about the "all bad" bad persons-- seeking reassurance in their portrayal of others as malicious. If you defend one of those others, your time as the "all good" is soon to end. Your choice, then, is to enjoy the easy time by participating in the insanity or state the truth as you know it and become the "all bad." Your current state of energy will dictate how heroic you will be at any given time.

Besides splitting...

* When alone and believing to be unobserved, singing simple tunes with made-up words with a self-righteous or self-justifying theme is something I have observed in both my mother and my ex-wife. "Ain't no one going to bring me down..." is something I have often witnessed-- and realized was likely related to BPD when watching the movie Sybil-- Sybil's mother standing at the sink just before a ruthless abuse was to ensue.
* Paranoia is the instigation of all "all bad" scenarios. Ranging from wild and unfounded accusations of misbehavior, to a vague certainty that you (or another) is deserving of some punishment. Punished for imagined or even non-articulated "offenses" was very common for me growing up as it was for my children (when I was out of the house and so unable to defend them-- my Dad served that just-protector role for me, as well).
Punishments never fit the crime-- always severe and lasting in effect-- destroying beloved mementos and ridiculously long "grounded."
* Isolating victims. Friends and family are clearly not welcome visitors and seeing friends and family away from home will result in elaborate conspiracy scenarios being voiced to ensure that you and other family members "pay a price" for having any other relationships. Since disappearing with my children, my ex-wife moves about every year-- as soon as she realizes my children are forming new relationships at school. I believe, but am unsure, that the underlying cause for this typical behavior is that the BPD person fears that their destructive behavior will become known and that they will be forced to face punishment if found out.
* A long string of failed jobs-- almost always including an inability to get along with co-workers-- accusing them on conspiratorial behaviors to "ruin" them.
* Lots of car wrecks-- another form of the infamous "cutting" practice many BPD persons do with razor blades. They will ram things with an automobile.
* Exorbitant spending. New clothes and new cars well beyond reason for a given budget are typical.
* Status is overly important-- and a social and economic status beyond what they have ever known is pretended-- I don't know why, but both of my BPDs did this so I suspect a connection to this disorder.
* There is no treatment beyond simply getting the person to admit that they have the disorder, and learn the behaviors of the disorder. But...
* No contrition. They are never sorry-- never admit they have been unjust, never want forgiveness but only seek acceptance.

Originally posted by BO XIAN
reply to post by galacticgirl

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There's a reason why this is a focus at this particular moment in time. Many of us can feel it around us - time has speeded up and everything on the planet seems to be coming to a head all at the same time.
I have a knowing that people interacting with BPD and those who have it are having the same experience: everything is coming to a head.

INDEED. INDEED.

Interesting that folks with BPD are noting it. Can you elaborate, please? What have they said leaving you with that impression? How many have you been in contact with?

The victims of BPD persons (children, husbands) may have varying degrees of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder due to the arbitrary punishments (sometimes violent) received. (About three nights a week, I would wake to find myself being kicked and punched!)

With a learned sense that punishment and/or violence may come at any time and which is not connected to the recipient's behavior-- PTSD, and its associated watchfulness (hyper-vigilance), it is a survival mechanism.

Persons with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder are often exhausted by the hyper-vigilance, and so express "hope" as a apocalyptic end to the way things are and of course have a sense that their being uniquely qualified to react to such a tumultuous scenario suggests that it will happen.

I am such a person. I continuously, incessantly, seek to prepare for a battle which will likely never come. On the other hand-- I make a great first-responder in a crisis! I cannot imagine not being ready-- and find that the vast majority of humanity who have to think before acting in an emergency to be contemptuously relaxed-- until I remember that I am the oddball.

As my very wise therapist explained to me... I am alive because I am that way, disordered as it is, so of course I am loathe to change. Being hyper-vigilant saved my life-- and the lives of at least two others.

Morally speaking, how do I relax when I know that doing so can cost a life? I am what I am. However, and back to the point of the post to which I respond: That I am ready for mass disorder and violence-- does not mean the end is near. I just have all that stored potential and sometime wish the trigger would come to release it.

reply to post by BO XIAN

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My BPD friend and I were born again Christians, and then rejected it, to deeply immerse ourselves in the occult. We regularily consulted the Ouija board, as we had established an apparent entity presence, who was preachy and insisted he was from Mars. We had ufo sightings, Men In Black visitation, her telephone kept ringing with no one there, whenever I was visiting. All photographs of her showed plasma blobs (which looked like 'ectoplasm') and I guess I brought a demon home with me, which attacked my sibling in the basement.

Controversial and unbelievable, if not crazy sounding stuff, but it's what really went on at that time.

reply to post by Frira

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I am such a person. I continuously, incessantly, seek to prepare for a battle which will likely never come. On the other hand-- I make a great first-responder in a crisis! I cannot imagine not being ready-- and find that the vast majority of humanity who have to think before acting in an emergency to be contemptuously relaxed-- until I remember that I am the oddball.

As my very wise therapist explained to me... I am alive because I am that way, disordered as it is, so of course I am loathe to change. Being hyper-vigilant saved my life-- and the lives of at least two others.

Morally speaking, how do I relax when I know that doing so can cost a life? I am what I am. However, and back to the point of the post to which I respond: That I am ready for mass disorder and violence-- does not mean the end is near. I just have all that stored potential and sometime wish the trigger would come to release it.

. . . per my biases . . . existential thrownness . . . perspective . . . experiences . . . constructions on reality:

. . . including . . . living around a friend who's been BPD all their life . . .

WE--certainly most of us?--in this era . . . were

BORN FOR SUCH A TIME AS THIS.

I respect your cautious qualified assertions above. Respectfully, I do NOT think that's all there is to it.

Though that would be a lot if it were.

I believe our experiences give us some extra spiritual and intellectual sensitivities that are more alert and tuned-in to psycho-dynamic and sociological and spiritual forces rushing forward and converging toward

TRASHING THE so called OLD ORDER and foisting on the planet the

NEW (old as Soddom & Gomorrah & Babylon) WORLD ORDER.

Some of us have 'over-the-horizon-radar' about such things and many seem obliviously bumbling and mumbling around in denial.

I think BPD folks can readily be, by their constant scanning and often paranoid character disorder features, keenly and early on alert to the forces setting such things up--well before the average bear.

Of course, sorting out what is valid extra keen alertness on their part and what is BPD/PARANOIA is a whole

'NOTHER ISSUE. LOL.

Nevertheless, hypervigilence is effective in early detection of threat (as well, of course, in assuming threat when there is none or little).

I think it remains for those of us who, hopefully, have better reality testing to ASSESS the threat that BPD etc. sorts may accurately detect and 'alert' on.

In the current geo-political-social context . . . that can get very complicated and tricky. Nevertheless, imho,

BPD folks may well be the canaries in the mine shaft for all of us.

. . . for those who will pay attention and check things out fair-mindedly.

.
.



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reply to post by Saucerwench

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I haver no trouble accepting your narrative as fact.

Did you ever become free of such? Would you be willing to elaborate on your path since then?

Again--this is the best resource for such experiences and phenomena. He's been there:

Guy Malone:

www.ANCIENTofDAYS.net...

www.ALIENRESISTANCE.ORG...
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.

reply to post by Frira

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THANKS FOR YOUR ABSOLUTELY PRICELESS AND EXTREMELY ARTICULATE DESCRIPTION/ANALYSIS:

Yes. That is standard operating procedure for BPDs.

Behaving normally is understood by them at a high level, and so is knowing that relationships require them to do it, they appear as anyone else. It exhausts them, but they can maintain the facade for as long as it takes to secure the relationship. Then the monster is released.

ABSOLUTELY. And that can be one of the more maddening aspects of being in relationship with them. It almost or does seem quite reasonably like they have an ON/OFF switch that they use very manipulatively. Not a dimmer switch--an ON/OFF switch! LOL. Of course, they switch the BPD switch to !ON! ALWAYS when one can LEAST afford to deal with it!

When (and if) they are confronted with paying a price (such as being abandoned) for their behavior, they redouble their efforts to behave in a normal way until they again are exhausted from the effort or until they are in a situation they deem as safe.

Caregivers or close associates can take some . . . comfort or pride in being SAFE for such BPD folks. It's MORE THAN A LITTLE like a 'left handed compliment,' however, as we quickly find out! LOL.

Nevertheless, there's tons of wonderful stuff to be said for those of us who persist with such relationships out of genuine healthy caring and dogged persistence. Of course, such folks must insure that they are not fitting one half of a very sick co-dependent relationship.

Keep in mind, that from their perspective, their behavior is justified and their perceptions are accurate. From their perspective, you are only pretending to disagree, and they have learned that they can form relationships if they do not act on their perceptions.

Very astue and very well put

When they attempt to reconcile their certainty that you must agree with their perceptions but only pretend not to as they pretend not to-- to reconcile that to your obvious sincerity in denying their reality... bad things happen. You become the "all bad" person.

Another excellent observation very well put.

I think sometimes, those of us around BPD folks need WHIP-LASH insurance for the speed with which things are racing down the freeway of life at 100mph one direction and suddenly are going the opposite direction at 150 mph.

When they become sure that either they are crazy, malicious and destructive or the rest of the world is plotting against them-- the only effective treatment is in the form of a tranquilizer dart gun.

INDEED. Sigh. Hiding the dangerous implement and taking a drive was often crucial to survival.

Great post. Thanks.
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reply to post by Frira

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In terms of being curable . . .

I certainly know professors who'd agree.

And some who'd disagree.

Personally, I used to would have agreed.

I've seen enough progress--dramatic progress--with my friend and a few others that I know now that at least a good percentage of such persons CAN become quite reasonably mostly normal in their thinking, emotions, relationships, actions, choices.

Are ANY of us ever 100.0000% cured of our whatever degrees of attachment disordered childhoods?

Probably not this side of Heaven. However, when we become so much better, overhauled that most professionals would not be able to tell the difference between us and a "NORMAL FROM BIRTH" (is there such?) in most normal daily life settings . . . and maybe even with an extensive interview . . . then I think the issue becomes moot.

reply to post by BO XIAN

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Not too long after those experiences, I went into the military active duty enlisted, and it was there where I grew a spine, grew up, and became more of who I really was, and BPD friend and I went our seperate ways in life. But I had alot of problems back out into civillian life, for a number of years, with this intolerable level of sensory and psychic sensitivity. A traumatic thing happened to me in the service. For awhile I walked away from family, I "went missing". I showed up at a VA hospital, which got me domeciled and incomed. In my apartment, I kept this 'Catholic radio' station on all day, I listened to their talk shows from morning to night. I am not a Catholic nor was raised a Catholic. But every day, would be time for the 'stations of the cross' and along with them, I would say out loud, "Mother Mary pray for us.." and one day, a family member showed up, had found me, and soon after, I relocated back close to them. With my Christian sibling, I recieved holy communion, and we attended church services at an Evangelical church. She since moved away with husband, for job reasons, but I still put Catholic radio on my computer, when I'm not listening to other shows such as Alex Jones.

reply to post by Saucerwench

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Congrats on recovery.

I don't think much of RELIGION nor denominations . . . .

A viable, authentic, daily RELATIONSHIP WITH CHRIST IS CRUCIAL, imho, however.


I would still encourage you checking out . . .

the BEST group . . . probably Charismatic/Pentecostal available nearby . . . that's skilled and experienced in deliverance stuff.

YOU REALLY NEED TO CHECK THEM OUT BY TALKING TO HALF A DOZEN WISE OLDER PEOPLE IN YOUR AREA OF *different* PERSPECTIVES ABOUT THE CHURCH OR DELIVERANCE GROUP CONCERNED. Many can be quite flakey and some individuals in good groups can be more than a little off unless the leadership is on top of it. The healthy group needs balance, wisdom, Biblical foundation and persistence, patience AND TRUCK LOADS OF COMPASSION, EMPATHY AND LOVE with no grandstanding ego driven junk.

Preferably with someone gifted at great discernment and prophetically speaking wisdom etc. into lives . . .

ask the GROUP for a meeting and give them a very BRIEF summary--VERY BRIEF--2-3 sentences--so you don't color their response with their human preconceptions. If they push for more, tell them you want them to pray with you then and there and to offer what they believe GOD is saying about you and your situation vs their own good ideas.

Then go from there as you feel fitting.

Just know, that if there's demonic stuff still hanging around . . . they will try every trick in the book to prevent the above--both within your mind and person and in your environment and on the streets on the way to the meeting.

Spiritual radio can help keep them silenced to some degree. Doesn't remove them.

Scriptural quoting and singing can be a big help--also

RESIST THE ENEMY AND HE WILL FLEE from you is a great Scripture to doggely relentlessly apply.

Taking each thought captive . . . and turning negative thinking to edifying thinking is a big help.


One of the best stations on the net I know is

www.ktlf.org...

Some possibly useful links:

BETHEL CHURCH IN REDDING CALIF has been a great blessing to my current assistant Pastor:

www.ibethel.org...

And Kris Vallotton' s books are some of the best I've ever read:

such as:

THE SUPERNATURAL POWER OF FORGIVENESS

and

DEVELOPING A SUPERNATURAL LIFESTYLE

Speaking of books, if you haven't read of Todd Burpo's son Colton's

HEAVEN IS FOR REAL

it's a great encourager and a wonderful reality check.



=======================================================================

DELIVERANCE PRAYERS TO BE SAID OUT LOUD PRIVATELY--WITH CAUTION:

I'D ALSO CALL FIRST FOR FOLKS TO PRAY FOR YOU AS YOU DO SO . . . WHO YOU TRUST TONS.

www.schizophrenia-info.info...

========================================================================

One of the most respected and powerful deliverance ministries. Derek is now graduated from this life: There are various radio broadcasts available online.

www.derekprince.org...

This is a mostly consensus group that sounds significantly above average:

www.epm.org...

An Aussie gal's personal story:

www.cai.org...

CHARISMA MAGAZINE article on a Florida "Demon Buster" gal's experiences:

www.charismamag.com...

I've not watched this youtube. However, my cousin and his wife are currently going through Bob Larson's training and speak highly of it:

www.youtube.com...

"Deliverance from Drugs, Demons, and Brain Damage"

www.testimonyshare.com...

===========================================================

CALVARY CHAPEL is one of the better church associations and a local one should be able to be of help.

calvarychapel.com...

I prefer a bit the VINEYARD association of churches as I think they are more flexible to how Holy Spirit may want to work in a given situation: I met John Wimber, founder personally (since graduated from this life from a fall in the shower--which I thought was very humorous of God) He was one of the most humble men I've ever met.

www.vineyardusa.org...

==============================================================






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FOCUS ON THE FAMILY REFS:

"I grew up in a dysfunctional home but don't want my experiences to affect my own parenting. How do I break a negative cycle of parenting?"

family.custhelp.com...

"How do I know if I am clinically depressed?"

family.custhelp.com...

"Does my eating disorder stem from a lack of understanding of my identity in Christ?"

family.custhelp.com...

The following is a global referral list. However, the groups have NOT BEEN VETTED. You'd NEED to check them out locally first.

www.sw-mins.org...

I haven't scoped this following one out very well but it looks good on the surface:

www.breakinggenerationalcurses.com...
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reply to post by Frira

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If i may take this opportunity to explain when i first had concern about the person who was later diagnosed with BPD.

She held a 40th birthday party.
She invited mainly family but also some of my friends
Her parents where also in attendance.
A lady arrived at the party and the lady with BPD held her hand and took her over to her parents and said to them "This is my friend"

I found that quite a strange thing to do. Or is it normal and i am the strange one?

reply to post by alldaylong

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Not enough information to say.

Was she saying to her parents:

--this is my friend I've shared so much about?

--this is my friend/lover?

--this is my friend who's a lot like me who could also use some parental caring that didn't bite?

--this is my friend that I'd like you to get to know better because she's helped me a lot?

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