Borderline Personality Disorder And "Splitting"

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posted on Dec, 29 2011 @ 03:50 PM
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reply to post by alldaylong
 


I'm not getting you? Could you rephrase the question.




posted on Dec, 29 2011 @ 03:52 PM
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reply to post by NeoVain
 


I meant to ask you a question if i may. I have been over the last few weeks recieving "Silent Phone Calls" at my place of work. Would that be something a BPD sufferer would do?



posted on Dec, 29 2011 @ 03:54 PM
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reply to post by alldaylong
 


Here is a good book if you're unaware of it:

Stop Walking on Eggshells: Taking Your Life Back When Someone You Care About Has Borderline Personality Disorder
by Paul T. Mason and Randi Kreger
www.amazon.com...



posted on Dec, 29 2011 @ 03:55 PM
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reply to post by this_is_who_we_are
 


Yes sorry i did not word it very well. What i meant to ask is, once a person has been deemed as "All bad", would the BPD sufferer expect the "All Bad" person to reinstigate contact with them. In other words does the BPD sufferer just sit back and wait for them to come running?



posted on Dec, 29 2011 @ 03:57 PM
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Originally posted by alldaylong
reply to post by this_is_who_we_are
 


Yes sorry i did not word it very well. What i meant to ask is, once a person has been deemed as "All bad", would the BPD sufferer expect the "All Bad" person to reinstigate contact with them. In other words does the BPD sufferer just sit back and wait for them to come running?



I think it depends. In my case she was always back and forth. Stay Away! Why are you staying away!? Separation anxiety was in play. I'm not sure if this is common or not.



posted on Dec, 29 2011 @ 04:00 PM
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Originally posted by alldaylong
reply to post by this_is_who_we_are
 


Yes sorry i did not word it very well. What i meant to ask is, once a person has been deemed as "All bad", would the BPD sufferer expect the "All Bad" person to reinstigate contact with them. In other words does the BPD sufferer just sit back and wait for them to come running?



Honestly...if you are already broken up...Don't go back. If you do, you are putting yourself in a world of hurt.

If you are missing the person, time and no contact will take care of that. She is broken. You can't fix her. Not your job.

Walk away....no contact. Any contact is like a drug to a BPD person. Be kind to yourself...stay away.



posted on Dec, 29 2011 @ 04:00 PM
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reply to post by this_is_who_we_are
 


I have been revieving silent phone calls at my place of work. Would that be something a BPD sufferer would do?



posted on Dec, 29 2011 @ 04:02 PM
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Originally posted by alldaylong
reply to post by this_is_who_we_are
 


I have been revieving silent phone calls at my place of work. Would that be something a BPD sufferer would do?


Yes...but, it could also be someone else. Don't feed a hoover. Block the number, and stop letting it control you.



posted on Dec, 29 2011 @ 04:04 PM
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Originally posted by alldaylong
reply to post by this_is_who_we_are
 


I have been revieving silent phone calls at my place of work. Would that be something a BPD sufferer would do?


I would document this as well with (gulp) local law enforcement. Make a police report. Be proactive. Watch your six.
edit on 12/29/2011 by this_is_who_we_are because: typo



posted on Dec, 29 2011 @ 04:07 PM
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reply to post by this_is_who_we_are
 


I would like to thank you all for your wise words of advice



posted on Dec, 29 2011 @ 04:08 PM
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reply to post by alldaylong
 


That is definitely something they would do, as my gf did the same thing. They become "obsessed" with their object, no matter if it is in a "all bad" or "all good" way. They either want to love you like no one has loved you ever before (and belive me, this can be HARD TO RESIST) or they want to hurt/annoy/slander/destroy you, if you are in the "all bad" state to them. Either way, they have EXTREME separation anxiety, even if they hate you, they will be obsessed for a long time, and it is simply not worth it. Expect many suicide threats, attempts and a general world of hurt and nightmarish emotion if you choose to pursue.
edit on 29-12-2011 by NeoVain because: (no reason given)



posted on Dec, 29 2011 @ 04:41 PM
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I suffer bpd! its hard to deal with. I am not a monster, I have had a ten year realationship that had not one cross word. I cant believe that you uneducated people judge so much and slate us! treat us well you won't get a better partner. screw us over, you won't get a worse enemy!

if your decent and patient, you have nothing to worry about!

go study, get some degrees, then judge. lol



posted on Dec, 29 2011 @ 04:51 PM
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My understanding of BPD (ex wife) is that the basis of the disorder is fear of abandonment. Their behavior tends to drive people away and reinforce that fear. So I believe that once they feel you have abandoned them their belief is reaffirmed and they would not expect you to return. A return would not fit their belief system. Just my opinion.

The other point I would stress is their ability to put on a pleasant public face. The worst behaviors are shown in private. As NeoVain suggested that is a trap to avoid.



posted on Dec, 29 2011 @ 04:51 PM
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Originally posted by eccentriclady
go study, get some degrees, then judge. lol


An insult, then a laugh to calm nerves - you're straight out of a text book.

Don't take this # personally. An outsider's voice comes across as harsh, but some people are too unreasonable to deal with. Everyone's different, even if you have the same mental "disorder."



posted on Dec, 29 2011 @ 04:55 PM
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my point here, is learn what you are dealing with then judge! I get so angry with people who google an know it all! Im not a text book case, have been far too sucessful to fit with that. have total understanding for bpd, unless you suffer you can only debate



posted on Dec, 29 2011 @ 04:57 PM
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Let me tell you all something:
I suffer from BOTH Borderline Personality Disorder AND Bipolar disorder, and I have to say, alot of these replies about telling the OP to stay away from people like me, is appalling. You only mention RARE cases, not all of us are as bad as you'd all like to believe.
First off, I admit to being impulsive at times, but then I got a wonderful understanding GF I live with that knows my issues and knows how to rein me in before going crazy with impulsive actions. I also take my meds everyday without fail, as i know i am a little off kilter if i dont. But I have NEVER been violent toward anyone else, nor have I ever tried to hurt anyone emotionally, financially or physically.
If you havent deal with the illness or with anyone else with it, please refrain from commenting



posted on Dec, 29 2011 @ 04:58 PM
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Originally posted by eccentriclady
my point here, is learn what you are dealing with then judge! I get so angry with people who google an know it all! Im not a text book case, have been far too sucessful to fit with that. have total understanding for bpd, unless you suffer you can only debate


Well...ATS is a debate site. Are you saying that only people with BPD should be allowed on ATS.

This thread is a compilation of opinions. Some are from personal experience, some are not.

Please don't take it so personally, it wasn't created by the OP with you in mind.



posted on Dec, 29 2011 @ 05:00 PM
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reply to post by Destinyone
 


the problem is too many pepole are giving uninformed opinions about something that've never dealt with, so how do their opinions hold merit?



posted on Dec, 29 2011 @ 05:02 PM
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Originally posted by HomerinNC
reply to post by Destinyone
 


the problem is too many pepole are giving uninformed opinions about something that've never dealt with, so how do their opinions hold merit?


So, spending time with a relative while they were in a mental health resort is not personal experience?

You, Sir, have the right to your opinion, just as I am. This is not an attack on you, please don't take it as such.



posted on Dec, 29 2011 @ 05:03 PM
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Originally posted by eccentriclady
my point here, is learn what you are dealing with then judge! I get so angry with people who google an know it all! Im not a text book case, have been far too sucessful to fit with that. have total understanding for bpd, unless you suffer you can only debate


Does it matter that I said you're out of a text book even though you just told us to read some to get degrees? I simply pointed out that it was fitting... I mean did a psychologist WITH borderline diagnose and help you?

I'm on the bipolar side of this and have come to function highly with it as well, but I had a period where I questioned whether I was borderline, so I know quite a bit about it. One of my roommates also suffers from it, and I study him intently.

It's not about the illness itself, but about whether the person with the disorder has come to grips with it and is willing to look at their life from an outsider's perspective and identify the patterns in their life. Anyone can change and work against what's given to them, but they must be willing. You're being slightly irrational.





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