Fantastic video: Woman slams the injustices of feminism!

Originally posted by Indellkoffer

Err... we always did. Women who were chattel didn't -- they went from being daughter to wife without a blink. The rest of us had the same chores and responsibilites as men -- AND we had to deal with childbirth and other things that men didn't.

No man likes being treated as an oversized child -- well, women don't either. We like to have control as well; partnerships.

Y'know, I was homely as a girl -- everyone made fun of me for being ugly. Wasn't delicate, either. But I'm darn good with animals and teaching science, and you can't teach chemistry and science and mince around in fragile lace and so forth. Science teachers have to be pretty brave and straightforward -- because you may be walking kids through a dangerous experiment (I've done this) and you have to think quick.

Manicures were the last thing we worried about.

We were angry because they paid men more than they paid women for the same work, same experience, same degrees.

I'm sure you can find a nice traditional girl.

I've been married 38 years, and my husband loves that when he's tired or stressed I can take on the bills or whatever. He hates car shopping, so I shop for cars. He loves that I have a wild sense of adventure and plan interesting and unusual trips for us.

"Pretty and delicate" lasts only so long. If that's your career move, then your life is over at 40 (or after a few kids when everything starts sagging and the gray hair comes in.)

No one was ever fascinated by an ordinary woman. Extraordinary women (like Cleopatra, who wasn't that beautiful but who spoke seven languages and was a military tactician, high priestess, and a number of other things) are fascinating to intelligent and powerful men.

A man in Mensa (married to a woman with a higher IQ said to me "having an ordinary woman is like walking down a lane with a cow. It's a pleasant trip, and you get to your destination. Being married to a woman with a high IQ is like traveling that same route on a race horse. You're not always sure who's in control -- but oh, what a ride you'll have and what things you'll see!"

Me and my husband... we have a more interesting life than most folks our age and income level do.

I think you misunderstood my post, I wasn't saying women should be treated as overgrown children or that they should have low IQ. I did focus on the appearance aspect so that might have seemed like me saying that the most important thing for women is to stay pretty and be nice to their husbands. I was just trying to point out what women seems to me losing the more the feminists have their way.
I personally like intelligent and strong willed women and of course good appearance is a plus
there is nothing that says you have to be either intelligent or pretty
yet the feminist movement seems to only value one and disregard the other
in other words the feminists (extreme ones) goal seems to be to make women men
less affectionate, aloof, indifferent, the end justifies the means type
these are things men are and women are supposed to keep us in check
Its a little funny how the extreme feminists with all the hate towards men try to make women just like men

it is true men are fascinated by women like Cleopatra but fascination is different from love
no man wants to live with a woman that acts and things like a man

Originally posted by Indellkoffer

Err... we always did. Women who were chattel didn't -- they went from being daughter to wife without a blink. The rest of us had the same chores and responsibilites as men -- AND we had to deal with childbirth and other things that men didn't.

This is not true, women never had the same responsibilities as men. Also forgot to mention not only responsibilities but expectations.
if you are driving with you husband and get a flat tire, who is the one to go out and change it?
if you hear a sound at night while sleeping who is the one to go and check?
do you hold the door for you husband or does he hold the door for you?
and I could go on and on
women never had the same responsibilities as men and shouldn't
the same way some responsibilities should be only for women and not for men

Originally posted by korathin

1) Men are not more violent then women
2) Men on average are merely capable of more destruction when we do become violent.

3) Suppose some guy was being attacked by his wife or gf, what do you think would happen if he tried to defend himself? Heck dozen of guy's have ALREADY DIED IN POLICE CUSTODY from injuries from their wives and gf's, while their wives and gf's didn't have a scratch on them but the police didn't want to arrest them and had to arrest some body!

Add in the fact that WOMEN ARE MORE LIKELY TO USE WEAPONS AND BLUNT OBJECTS, and it is plain to see why people view feminist, female supremacist's the way we do.

Feminism is an out an out hate movement no matter how you dice it.

edit on 31-12-2011 by korathin because: (no reason given)

Its proven fact that men are more prone to violence also its proven fact that men are less capable of empathy
of course there are exceptions if you compare extremes like in anything else
but this is already well known from studying the human brain and the effects of sex hormones such as testosterone. This is also no surprise if you think about how humans evolved. The man was usually the one to go hunting for food which requires body strength and a fighter mind, while the women stayed back with the children

btw I wasn't defending feminists actually what I've been saying is that the feminists movement seems to be switching from useful and needed to out of touch and harmful

Originally posted by Frira
Persons in human form who have no empathy, no sense of right and wrong, and no contrition for violent destructive acts-- are NOT human. That may mean YOU-- so get over it-- everyone knows anyway.

I think you are calling me a sociopath and I don't think I'm one but reading your story I think your ex-wife might be one, that might explain her actions and careful planning.

Originally posted by Frira
Are you not angry for me and for my children?
If you are not-- you are not human.

I get angry when I see injustice but more than anger is sadness
Its obvious that you have went through alot and seems like its still not over and you are rightfully angry

reading your posts I did see some points that are hard to believe.
for example its hard to believe that feminists activists and lobbyists conspired against you
also its hard to believe that a judge would grant custody of kids to a woman who tried to kill them
its just that you describe yourself to be this gentle soul and your ex-wife to be a deranged abusive and dangerous person. Then the feminists come lobby against you and take everything from you while protecting your ex-wife from any accountability.
to be honest I just don't fully buy your story and i can't help to wonder if you are not using selective memory
I mention this because in terms of this thread topic you mention feminists are dangerous and sub-human but your reason for saying so does not seem to be all coherent

well I hope you telling us your story did help you like you mentioned previously

reply to post by quietlearner


You like incapable women. That's a fetish, that you confabulate with biological imperative.

It's just your personal preference.

Originally posted by quietlearner

Originally posted by Frira
for example its hard to believe that feminists activists and lobbyists conspired against you
also its hard to believe that a judge would grant custody of kids to a woman who tried to kill them
its just that you describe yourself to be this gentle soul and your ex-wife to be a deranged abusive and dangerous person. Then the feminists come lobby against you and take everything from you while protecting your ex-wife from any accountability.
to be honest I just don't fully buy your story and i can't help to wonder if you are not using selective memory
I mention this because in terms of this thread topic you mention feminists are dangerous and sub-human but your reason for saying so does not seem to be all coherent

None of this is hard to believe. These same things happen to both genders.

I happen to believe you because I've seen this stuff happen to both women and men. And then seen people like the ones on this thread try to eat them with their self-righteous utopian fantasies where they cannot imagine that manipulative psychos can make themselves likable victims. Or the level of destruction these people inflict.

I know a guy who literally tried to shoot his daughter and wife, and didn't spend a day in jail and was continued to be granted access to the daughter he did it to, with support from some other men. He was stopped by his son.

They did the wrong thing, because they believed the wrong person, including the judge. Even in a "zero-tolerance" mode. The guys that supported him did it because they were fools, and where they were not fools they loved their doctrine more than they loved real people.

Then these people come out of the wood work and continue to pile onto the real victims. Compassionately you understand. Just to "help" you.

Doctrine over humanity always fails.

Originally posted by quietlearner

Originally posted by Frira
Persons in human form who have no empathy, no sense of right and wrong, and no contrition for violent destructive acts-- are NOT human. That may mean YOU-- so get over it-- everyone knows anyway.

I think you are calling me a sociopath and I don't think I'm one but reading your story I think your ex-wife might be one, that might explain her actions and careful planning.

Originally posted by Frira
Are you not angry for me and for my children?
If you are not-- you are not human.

I get angry when I see injustice but more than anger is sadness
Its obvious that you have went through alot and seems like its still not over and you are rightfully angry

reading your posts I did see some points that are hard to believe.
for example its hard to believe that feminists activists and lobbyists conspired against you
also its hard to believe that a judge would grant custody of kids to a woman who tried to kill them
its just that you describe yourself to be this gentle soul and your ex-wife to be a deranged abusive and dangerous person. Then the feminists come lobby against you and take everything from you while protecting your ex-wife from any accountability.
to be honest I just don't fully buy your story and i can't help to wonder if you are not using selective memory
I mention this because in terms of this thread topic you mention feminists are dangerous and sub-human but your reason for saying so does not seem to be all coherent

Exactly: Deny that it happened so you have no culpability. Is there some playbook y'all use?

Find in my words what you claimed I said-- go ahead, try!

I did not state activist feminist were "conspiring against me."

I will state, now, that activists feminists have control over the OAG and court system. That is not a conspiracy-- that is an agenda and expected tactic used by activists.

Furthermore, if you read what I wrote-- I was not even invited to the divorce hearing. The courts had nothing upon which to judge my ex-wife's parenting ability-- or her sanity. The children were with me when the hearing took place-- so not even they had a voice. So in an absence of data-- they simply decided in her favor-- as is procedure. They probably ASSUMED she was the primary parent-- because she was certainly not going to volunteer any information which harmed her agenda.

So, on your misrepresentation (due to bias or lack of character-- only you know) of what I wrote, you then find your easiest route out of culpability is to call me a liar.

See-- you are a psychopath by your own definition of it. Instead of arguing with me about it maybe you might address the behavior by which you manifest those signs.

well I hope you telling us your story did help you like you mentioned previously

It did.

It also drew out in to the light the unhealthy behaviors of those activists who have created that situation to put forward their agenda-- allowing others to see what sort of behavior the activists will resort to in carrying it out at the expense of innocent men and defenselessly children.

So, thank you for volunteering as a most transparent example.

Originally posted by Aeons

Originally posted by quietlearner

Originally posted by Frira
for example its hard to believe that feminists activists and lobbyists conspired against you
also its hard to believe that a judge would grant custody of kids to a woman who tried to kill them
its just that you describe yourself to be this gentle soul and your ex-wife to be a deranged abusive and dangerous person. Then the feminists come lobby against you and take everything from you while protecting your ex-wife from any accountability.
to be honest I just don't fully buy your story and i can't help to wonder if you are not using selective memory
I mention this because in terms of this thread topic you mention feminists are dangerous and sub-human but your reason for saying so does not seem to be all coherent

None of this is hard to believe. These same things happen to both genders.

I happen to believe you because I've seen this stuff happen to both women and men. And then seen people like the ones on this thread try to eat them with their self-righteous utopian fantasies where they cannot imagine that manipulative psychos can make themselves likable victims. Or the level of destruction these people inflict.

I know a guy who literally tried to shoot his daughter and wife, and didn't spend a day in jail and was continued to be granted access to the daughter he did it to, with support from some other men. He was stopped by his son.

They did the wrong thing, because they believed the wrong person, including the judge. Even in a "zero-tolerance" mode. The guys that supported him did it because they were fools, and where they were not fools they loved their doctrine more than they loved real people.

Then these people come out of the wood work and continue to pile onto the real victims. Compassionately you understand. Just to "help" you.

Doctrine over humanity always fails.

edit on 2012/1/1 by Aeons because: (no reason given)

Just to say I see it much the same way.

I'm not sure if it is a social or cultural shift, but it seems likely connected to the demonizing of opponents discussed often concerning modern politics.

It is no longer discussing preferred solutions based on differing ideology; instead, it has become an uncompromising polarization which allows for any opponent to be sacrificed for the cause.

No humanity-- all agenda. What can be done to further one's group--- instead of what ought to be done-- moral imperatives no longer apply.

Originally posted by quietlearner

Originally posted by korathin

1) Men are not more violent then women
2) Men on average are merely capable of more destruction when we do become violent.

3) Suppose some guy was being attacked by his wife or gf, what do you think would happen if he tried to defend himself? Heck dozen of guy's have ALREADY DIED IN POLICE CUSTODY from injuries from their wives and gf's, while their wives and gf's didn't have a scratch on them but the police didn't want to arrest them and had to arrest some body!

Add in the fact that WOMEN ARE MORE LIKELY TO USE WEAPONS AND BLUNT OBJECTS, and it is plain to see why people view feminist, female supremacist's the way we do.

Feminism is an out an out hate movement no matter how you dice it.

edit on 31-12-2011 by korathin because: (no reason given)

Its proven fact that men are more prone to violence also its proven fact that men are less capable of empathy
of course there are exceptions if you compare extremes like in anything else.

And it may be that the difference is very slight...

...Straus and Gelles found that in couples reporting spousal violence, 27% of the time the man struck the first blow; in 24% of cases, the woman initiated the violence. The rest of the time, the violence was mutual, with both partners brawling.

The results were the same even when the most severe episodes of violence were analyzed. In order to counteract claims that the reporting data was skewed, female-only surveys were conducted, asking females to self-report, and the data was the same.

-- from Wiki's Domestic Violence article; section: Gender Aspects of Abuse; subsection: Violence Against Men.

but this is already well known from studying the human brain and the effects of sex hormones such as testosterone. This is also no surprise if you think about how humans evolved. The man was usually the one to go hunting for food which requires body strength and a fighter mind, while the women stayed back with the children

btw I wasn't defending feminists actually what I've been saying is that the feminists movement seems to be switching from useful and needed to out of touch and harmful

And THAT last statement is one with which I agree. Equal rights and equal access is one thing-- something men and women ought to want for each other as well as for themselves.

But tyrannical domination as a means to that end is unacceptable from any point of view.

Originally posted by Aeons
There are many areas in the World where women and children suffer from laws and traditions which are directed only at them.

LOL multiplied by 50 to the power of a thousand.

I love the way you even have the brazenness to attempt to sneak in ''children'' within the definition of ''feminism''.

10/10 for creativity, but 0/10 for intellectual honesty.

Originally posted by Aeons
Having people working specifically on their behalf is not a terrible thing.

Yes, it is. Special interest groups are always a bad thing, because they pitch for the best deal for their group, regardless of fairness of morality.

Originally posted by Aeons
It is also not what most feminists are working for.

We know. Femipigs are working towards an agenda of gender supremacy, where women have the whip hand over men.

Please stop insulting a man's intelligence.

If I think that kitchens and bathrooms are equal, then I wouldn't express my purported belief as ''kitchenism'', nor would I define myself as a ''kitchenist'', as the name is clearly expressing a preference for one particular thing over another.

Behave yourself.

Sherlock, children's issues have been intimately tied to females for all of time.

Women have psychological issues? They are reaped on their children. Women have limited opportunities? These are tied to the factors that affect the outcomes of children.

These are the original Suffrage issues, and they remain the same today.

Go ahead and continue to push your agenda. You're helping me, you just doing realize it yet.

reply to post by Frira


I have no doubt that you are telling the truth about your ex-wife, but I have to ask you - why in the world would you stay with this monster for 16 years????? Why would you have multiple children with her??? Why did you never press charges when given the opportunity???? I have seen this in the reverse, with women in abusive relationships, and it just boggles my mind. The very first time anyone ever committed a violent act towards me - I am out of there so fast it WILL rattle your teeth.

I also have problems with people who say they had no idea their abuser was like this. People as sick at that are not able to hide it for very long - I'm talking a matter of days or weeks at most. You probably had an inkling of her violent nature within a month of the marriage, yet you stayed 16 years. Unbelievable.

To bring this somewhat back to topic - men should get out of abusive relationships and get their female abuser sent to prison, just like abused women should with their male abusers.

I came back to this topic as I was reading something sim elsewhere. This reminded me of some thoughts I have had in the past -

Now. I *do* believe in Feminism - of the "old school" sort - which to me - was more focused on 'equal opportunity'.

Anyway, one of the things I have always thought is - MEN should look into Feminism because it is good for them too!

I think men were / are lied to. They are told they are the "king of the castle" and the 'big man' who is the breadwinner - this is ego manipulation to get them working for "The System" or whatever Overlord wants to make $ off their backs.

And they fall for it. Younger ones, anyway. What "They" want is - to get you locked down and working for them.

Once you have kids - you are FORCED to work. It is the ultimate debt load. Then they got ya.

For women, they want you breeding to make more consumers and workers. Of course they try to sell this to you via emotional manipulation.

The same sort of thing happens - let me try to take male/female out of this - let us just use jobs. So a person gets a job and then they get 'promoted' to "supervisor" or "manager". They *fall* for this - they think they are now a "big man" (or woman) - and like the "upper management" so they go out and spend, get themselves into debt - and then - "they" gotcha. Now you are trapped into working for them.

Once this person's eyes begin to open they see - that they aren't "important" after all. A "manager" of gas station employees or grocery checkers is but 50 cents more an hour than the grunts themselves. They are NOT part of the "Big Boys" - they are just a grunt too.

But 'they' don't want you to figure this out until its too late - specifically - that you are locked down with kids. Any other obligations you can dodge, kids you cannot. It is the ultimate debt load, sucks up all your free time, and *forces* you to work - for them.

Do you see what 'they' are trying to do to you? And they sell you into debt and working for them via your emotions.

Much of "Feminism" had to do with how females were 'oppressed' you could say - but men should read this stuff too - and just put themselves in the same position or try to translate to how it can apply to them.

What if - there were codified systems in place that all Italians *had to be* pizza makers. That would be oppressive, right? Well think of the same things as Feminists questioning *why* they had to get married and pump out babies. Or men questioning *why* should I go to work to support some clan of people? Why shouldn't I have what I want - and - why shouldn't these people (family) pitch in too?

"They" are trying to manipulate you to work for them and breed for them. Feminism is a very good thing for men to read up on because there are alot of general ideas on how people are exploited.

As I stated previously - I do not come from a 'traditional' family and always had to fend for myself. Even my one Grand Mother way back in the day - she had to step up because her husband *died* young. We all had to hustle and work to survive.

I put myself through college/ uni twice, in the sciences, as well as grad school. I *can* work and should work because I don't believe in freeloading and causing someone else *more* work. That isn't fair. I want to work and help out! Why is this bad?

Ask yourself *who* exactly thinks it's bad. And you will conclude that it's TPTB who want men working FOR THEM to make $ off their backs, and women breeding to make future workers and consumers.

I am glad I had an unusual childhood because I was shown the light young. I figured it all out young. I did begin to read more about Feminism when I was at school - and it all made sense to me. Further, I began to see how Feminist thoughts can apply to ALL people, and how ALL are exploited, and manipulated.

Men really should read some of the "old school" Feminist literature - and try to think beyond male/female - or - think of - hey - this stuff could apply to ME too!

Ask yourselves too - WHO is behind the current backlash against Feminism? Look and see - it is Conservative sorts (PRO Big Biz) who want you locked down and breeding. It's always been. They like to try to twist things too - such as the idea that some Uber Rich people funded Feminism and birth control. What they DON'T mention here is that these people wanted the UNDERCLASSES and various ethnicities to stop breeding - and - they wanted WHITE people to BREED MORE.

Read and learn about the ulterior motives and agendas BEHIND all these things. It is much to MEN'S benefit as well. If you read the old style Feminist literature and read it as for PEOPLE rather than just women - bells are going to start ringing, telling ya. You will see how TPTB want to control ALL - and how they manipulate people, and how all of these things are to benefit THEM - not us.

Originally posted by Aeons
There are many areas in the World where women and children suffer from laws and traditions which are directed only at them.

Please stop trying to bring children into a debate about feminism; it's nothing but a dishonest appeal to emotion, and a non sequitur.

Yes, of course, it's disgusting that women are maltreated in many asswardback areas of the world, but it's not disgusting because they are women, but disgusting because some human beings are legally, culturally or socially permitted to exert power and control over other weaker people.

When I say ''weaker'', I'm referring to a ''Law of the Jungle'' kind of scenario.

Originally posted by Aeons
Having people working specifically on their behalf is not a terrible thing.

Yes, it is a terrible thing; they develop agenda-driven goals.

For example, if I remember correctly, you and I share a rare moment of unanimity in the debate surrounding male circumcision.

I'm not against the genital mutilation of baby boys because they are male, but because it's cruel, unethical and quite obviously child abuse. My disgust at ''parents'' circumcising their babies is exactly the same, regardless of whether that baby is a boy or a girl (it's equally outrageous).

You see the point ?

I don't give a crap what race, gender, religion or nationality someone is. I strongly advocate equality and across the board standards which should be applied to everyone !

Originally posted by Aeons
It is also not what most feminists are working for.

Every man - and most women, for that matter - know exactly what femipigs are working towards.

Stop continually insulting a man's intelligence; we're not all dimwitted, knuckle-dragging Neanderthals, you know.

Originally posted by Aeons
reply to post by quietlearner

 

You like incapable women. That's a fetish, that you confabulate with biological imperative.

It's just your personal preference.

I dont know where you pulled that out from
guessing my preference and even calling it a fetish?
someone is reading too much between the lines

reply to post by Unity_99


Hey Unity.....You Do realise that Aussie Darren Hayes is Homosexual dont you???

Nice song, like his Savage Garden works......Darren burned his bra a long time ago...

He recently married his boyfriend....so yes he believes in equality of the sexes, as long as they're all Male.

reply to post by Sherlock Holmes


The natural fact remains about women and children's outcomes being tied, even if you don't like it. Men's contribution to the stability of families and children is not diminished by its acknowledgement.

I agree about agenda driven goals, however no fossilized societal structure changes without challenge and in those areas the men who are oppressed as well are being paid off to comply with local ownership of a female. They aren't exactly running to change the system.

So if we were working with a blank slate, I'd agree with you. We are not working with a blank slate.

I tell ya what - I'll continue to challenge the feminists....who rarely like me .... and you challenge the men's rights people who are crossing the line with support for hebophilia. We can meet in the middle.

Originally posted by kaylaluv
reply to post by Frira

 

I have no doubt that you are telling the truth about your ex-wife, but I have to ask you - why in the world would you stay with this monster for 16 years????? Why would you have multiple children with her??? Why did you never press charges when given the opportunity???? I have seen this in the reverse, with women in abusive relationships, and it just boggles my mind. The very first time anyone ever committed a violent act towards me - I am out of there so fast it WILL rattle your teeth.

Like other humans, I'm complicated-- my only excuse.

The first time she hit me-- 9 months into the marriage and a fast series of punches mixed with clawing at my face while yelling something about my parents-- I turned, walked to the closet, grabbed her clothing, silently went down the steps as she watched, opened the front door, and threw them into the lawn. I stood there pointing for her to follow. She responded with tears, pleading, and "I don't know what came over me" type statements... and I relented.

Rinse and repeat.
Rinse and repeat again, and again...

Eventually, I skipped the once heartfelt threat, and just walked out of the house to get away.

That continued but gave rise to something new: accusations that I was leaving to go be with someone else. I wasn't.

At the same time, staying was not an option-- she would not stop unless I physically restrained her. She would follow me around the house, berating me, blocking my path, then shoving and kicking as she worked herself up.

We were both fit-- she had been to the state championship in softball before I met her and played on a women's soccer team when we started dating. Restraining her would be successful-- I never hit (that would have been fast and easy); but restraining her also meant I would get hurt in the process. Sometimes I chose that route, sometimes I would leave in disgust-- but I refused to leave from fear.

She has Borderline Personality Disorder. Sometimes, unfortunately, it gets much worse right around age 40. But at 35, we had our first child-- and that seemed to have been the trigger for her. As a new father I was of course excited and enthusiastic; plus she had a C-Section, and needed me. I was officing at home as much as possible; and after she healed, I soon found that I could not relax my split officing. There are many incidents which have nothing to do with answering your question-- suffice to say, that I knew something was wrong with the way she behaved-- but did not know the cause.

Over the years, I wrote most of it off as stress from her work, or new marriage or new baby-- I made excuses. I would spend hours contemplating my wedding vows, and decide to redouble my efforts. Abuse from a loved one has that insidious nature to it.

From the beginning, I did all of the mid-night feedings, diaper changes-- and, more in line with enthusiastic Daddys, virtually all of the play time. She never stepped in or stepped-up. I would come home for lunch and find my son still in his crib-- in the same diaper I had put him in six hours before when I left for work-- unchanged, unfed, and screaming. She would be sleeping on the couch or still in bed.

She started having the first severe psychotic episodes about that time. Wordlessly grabbed my son from my arms, no explanation-- we had not been talking much less arguing, then she locked herself, with my infant son in a bathroom while rummaging through the medicine cabinet babbling mostly incoherently but saying something about "going away for ever."

I was speaking calmly through the door, but she got very quiet and I could not hear my son. I put my body through the door like it was cardboard-- one of those "lifting the car off of traffic victim" moments. I took my son from her and she ran past us, and out the front door. She came back; quiet, but seemingly normal.

Her doctor said it sounded like postpartum depression. But it never went away.

I spoke to my superior-- careful to protect my wife-- but worked it out so that my primary office was at home and that I would be taking care of my son.

She asked me, one day, if she could go back to finish her degree. No surprise-- it was only a semester early from what we wanted to do-- my son was three months old and I worked down the street and was already carrying the financial load as well as keeping up with work on top of being primary parent.

Her out of the house made life much better for my son and for me. Lesson learned.

More... because this may be helpful to others, fully answer your question-- and help me...

reply to post by kaylaluv


Ah the usual how dare you stay with someone nasty argument.

Some people value their marriage and are deeply loyal. I understand that these traits are not valued at the moment, but they really are the only thing holding our society together even when they are misplaced.

reply to post by Aeons


So, staying in an abusive relationship is what holds our society together? That is the craziest thing I've read yet on this site (and I've read some crazy stuff). No one should EVER stay in an abusive marriage. If a spouse is mentally ill - fine - let them get help first. If they're ok once they are on meds, then you can go back to them if you so choose.

I just have trouble having sympathy for someone who stays in such a relationship day after day, year after year, then moans about how awful they had it. And I have said as much to a woman friend of mine who was in an abusive relationship for 5 years before she finally ended it. My mother and her siblings grew up with an abusive father, and they BEGGED their mother to leave him. She refused for some strange reason, and now her children all have some form of mental health problems as a result of having to grow up in such a volatile environment. Now you tell me again how that holds our society together??

Originally posted by kaylaluv
reply to post by Aeons

 

So, staying in an abusive relationship is what holds our society together? That is the craziest thing I've read yet on this site (and I've read some crazy stuff). No one should EVER stay in an abusive marriage. If a spouse is mentally ill - fine - let them get help first. If they're ok once they are on meds, then you can go back to them if you so choose.

I just have trouble having sympathy for someone who stays in such a relationship day after day, year after year, then moans about how awful they had it. And I have said as much to a woman friend of mine who was in an abusive relationship for 5 years before she finally ended it. My mother and her siblings grew up with an abusive father, and they BEGGED their mother to leave him. She refused for some strange reason, and now her children all have some form of mental health problems as a result of having to grow up in such a volatile environment. Now you tell me again how that holds our society together??

Because usually the abuse isn't solely physical. It is mental/emotional too. If you have someone who is important to you and you love, telling you constantly that it's YOUR fault and that you are lucky to have them because no-one else would want you etc etc then you end up believing it. Add children into that and you can be told that if you leave then they will have your children taken away because you are an unfit parent etc etc. It really is not that easy to leave an abusive relationship, and it is only when someone finally does they realise just how wrong it was and the mistake they made. It's a situation few understand without having been through it.

BTW, my mother had several abusive relationships and I turned out perfectly fine, so did my brothers, and so are my own children.
I am glad that it appears you have never been through it yourself, I hope you are able to stick to your strength and leave straight away should you ever be faced with it.