Fantastic video: Woman slams the injustices of feminism!

reply to post by Frira

I'm sorry to what happened to you and and I hope you and your kid are well
however I did find your post disturbing too for the reason that you seem to have alot of anger and that you are quick to generalize any feminist as "sub-humans"
the propensity to hate and dehumanize a wide group based on so little is a very dangerous combination.
IMO the reason why female to male domestic abuse is so overlooked is because in general the man is the stronger and more violent of the two. It is scientific fact the the average male is more prone to violence then the average female. That's why in most cases physical abuse by the female is less serious then the other way because the male has the physical capability to stop it. Of course there are exceptions
Another big factor of why female to male abuse is overlooked is that it just goes against everything society norms tell us about the sexes: Men are supposed to be strong and goal oriented, women are supposed to be soft and nourishing.
In a truly equal system, what sex the oppressor was and what sex the victim was should not even be considered. However the notions of what each sex ought to be based on social beliefs just makes it impossible to have a truly equal system.
you can't blame this only on feminists since men have a big part on keeping these same social norms
no doubt some extreme feminists will enjoy the notion of wives abusing their husbands but I'm sure there are many men that have their reasons to diminish the importance of female to male abuse.
one of those being that it would go against their beliefs about "manhood"
I personally believe that each case should be looked at individually and with minimal preconceptions. I dont know about physical abuse but I know that women are very good at mental abuse.

to get back on topic
I believe feminism is approaching the point were too much of a good thing can be a bad thing
I can't say that feminism doesn't have anything good to offer anymore since that would be me assuming I have absolute knowledge but I do see the feminism movement going the wrong track.
and I see women having to carry the weight of responsibility and accountability that originally only men had to deal with. women will no longer be able to stay pretty and delicate, their hands will no longer be manicured and soft. instead they will have callous hands from working, they will have wrinkles on their faces from worrying, they will have more instances of baldness and higher cardiac disease from stress.
I dont see why women will want that and I don't see why any men would want that, I like pretty women myself

Originally posted by quietlearner
and I see women having to carry the weight of responsibility and accountability that originally only men had to deal with.

Err... we always did. Women who were chattel didn't -- they went from being daughter to wife without a blink. The rest of us had the same chores and responsibilites as men -- AND we had to deal with childbirth and other things that men didn't.

No man likes being treated as an oversized child -- well, women don't either. We like to have control as well; partnerships.

women will no longer be able to stay pretty and delicate, their hands will no longer be manicured and soft. instead they will have callous hands from working, they will have wrinkles on their faces from worrying, they will have more instances of baldness and higher cardiac disease from stress.

Y'know, I was homely as a girl -- everyone made fun of me for being ugly. Wasn't delicate, either. But I'm darn good with animals and teaching science, and you can't teach chemistry and science and mince around in fragile lace and so forth. Science teachers have to be pretty brave and straightforward -- because you may be walking kids through a dangerous experiment (I've done this) and you have to think quick.

Manicures were the last thing we worried about.

We were angry because they paid men more than they paid women for the same work, same experience, same degrees.

I dont see why women will want that and I don't see why any men would want that, I like pretty women myself

I'm sure you can find a nice traditional girl.

I've been married 38 years, and my husband loves that when he's tired or stressed I can take on the bills or whatever. He hates car shopping, so I shop for cars. He loves that I have a wild sense of adventure and plan interesting and unusual trips for us.

"Pretty and delicate" lasts only so long. If that's your career move, then your life is over at 40 (or after a few kids when everything starts sagging and the gray hair comes in.)

No one was ever fascinated by an ordinary woman. Extraordinary women (like Cleopatra, who wasn't that beautiful but who spoke seven languages and was a military tactician, high priestess, and a number of other things) are fascinating to intelligent and powerful men.

A man in Mensa (married to a woman with a higher IQ said to me "having an ordinary woman is like walking down a lane with a cow. It's a pleasant trip, and you get to your destination. Being married to a woman with a high IQ is like traveling that same route on a race horse. You're not always sure who's in control -- but oh, what a ride you'll have and what things you'll see!"

Me and my husband... we have a more interesting life than most folks our age and income level do.

Originally posted by quietlearner
reply to post by Frira

 

IMO the reason why female to male domestic abuse is so overlooked is because in general the man is the stronger and more violent of the two. It is scientific fact the the average male is more prone to violence then the average female. That's why in most cases physical abuse by the female is less serious then the other way because the male has the physical capability to stop it..

edit on 31-12-2011 by quietlearner because: (no reason given)

This is why I have a problem with feminist's.

1) Men are not more violent then women
2) Men on average are merely capable of more destruction when we do become violent.

Betty Friedan didn't become a feminist because of her abusive father or husband, but because of her abusive mother( an MO found in many feminist circles. They blame their fathers for not stopping the abuse so blame all men for it).

3) Suppose some guy was being attacked by his wife or gf, what do you think would happen if he tried to defend himself? Heck dozen of guy's have ALREADY DIED IN POLICE CUSTODY from injuries from their wives and gf's, while their wives and gf's didn't have a scratch on them but the police didn't want to arrest them and had to arrest some body!

Heck the past Attorney General of Washington is on record telling men "don't call the police unless your dieing with a gun to your head). And the current Attorney General(I think of Washington State) said:

"If you(to men) get into an argument with your gf /wife and try to leave, and if she steps in front of the door to block you, and you push past her, you will be arrested for DV".

Add in the fact that WOMEN ARE MORE LIKELY TO USE WEAPONS AND BLUNT OBJECTS, and it is plain to see why people view feminist, female supremacist's the way we do.


Feminism is an out an out hate movement no matter how you dice it.

Originally posted by quietlearner
reply to post by Frira

 

I'm sorry to what happened to you and and I hope you and your kid are well

Thank you for saying so; but none of us are doing well. The family has been destroyed.

however I did find your post disturbing too for the reason that you seem to have alot of anger and that you are quick to generalize any feminist as "sub-humans"

Of course I have a lot of anger. Eighteen years under a monster of a mother and sixteen years under a monster of a wife-- both with Borderline Personality Disorder. Nearly constant verbal abuse from the former, and nearly constant physical abuse from the later.

What is wrong with you people? Is the empathy center of your brain missing?

And if you are not angry-- I'll gladly vent on you, too. Are you volunteering?

That no one cared is largely due to the activist feminist agenda. So here is the thumbnail sketch:

The police came, again. I refused to press charges, but because of her violence they would not allow her to stay. They decided to take her to the woman's shelter and simply not say that she was the source of the violence.

* I set my own broken finger.
* I pulled my own teeth she had broken loose.
* For years, I wore makeup and sunglasses in public to hide the black eyes, and lied about the source of my bruises, and split skin.

"Bullying?"

* I convinced her to go to a counselor. The therapist (a woman!) laughed about her violent rages.

The activist feminists there at the shelter told her that if she pressed charges against me, they would set her up with a low interest non-qualifying home loan. She did it.

* With lawyers provided by the activists, she had the many police reports buried.
* Then she forged my name to at least fourteen (14) bank accounts and spent the next two years keeping two sets of books-- one real, the other for me.
* Instead of paying bills, she racked up debts in my name, and used the cash to create her own nest egg.
* Two years later, she called the police after beating me, AGAIN, and told them I had beat her and they had no choice but to arrest me (remember, they allowed me to prevent her arrest many times-- and they knew who the violent one was-- but arrested me anyway).
* While in jail, I was served with papers preventing me from going home and with a motion for divorce.
* I was the at home Dad, able to work at home and able to provide my safety from her violent and destructive rages.
* The arrest created a scandal-- I lost my jobs (three), found my bank account zeroed out and about $20,000 of debt of which I knew nothing-- all at the coordination of the feminist activists.

Mind you, this was free of charge to her. NO resources such as she accessed are available to MEN.

But wait... That's not all!

The prosecutor (a woman!) of the domestic violence case got caught by the judge hiding the police report and other pertinent data, including my request for legal representation. She was threatened with disbarment, the judge apologized to me, and the charges were dropped. But my reputation was ruined.

Meanwhile, the divorce was withdrawn-- but only as a legal ploy commonly used by feminist activist lawyers. If one withdraw a filing for divorce, it can be re-filed WITHOUT NOTIFYING THE MAN.

That is what happened. I was served, not with a notice of a divorce hearing involving the dispensation of property and moreover, custody-- but with a final decrees of a hearing to which I was not notified. She got everything. She owned her own clothes and a two pieces of furniture when I married her. I owned a house, all the furnishings-- antiques, silver, china, crystal, and so on. I got joint custody, but she was listed as primary. You could count on one hand the number of diapers she had changed before that time-- but she got primary custody!

She also got her real desire-- a child support that placed my take-home earnings well under the poverty level.

The feminist lawyers were out to destroy me-- no concern for the children and no concern for my wife's mental condition. If I even had a voice in court, they knew they'd fail-- so I had to be destroyed.

With a divorce decree-- she now had an unlimited and FREE legal council called the Office of the Attorney General-- the OAG. It is staffed by feminist activists. Virtually no men work there.

* She moved without permission of the court-- in violation of the divorce decree-- and so I was not notified.
* The OAG moved to block my motion of enforcement.
* She refused to tell me where she lived (I later learned she bought a beach house) while I continued in poverty.
* The OAG moved to block my motion for adjusting the child support down to the legal maximum.
* The OAG moved to block my motion for enforcement of my visitation rights.

So... Is this about equal rights or destroying men and families?

Here we go again with the old battle lines, the labels and the fixed view points.
I remember about 30 years ago participating in a doorstep survey where the final question was addressed to the 'head of the household'. That had to be the man, they said. Me and my husband were perplexed at this as we didn't know we had a head of the household. And frankly, as a woman, I found their attitude insulting.
Fortunately for many of us that era has finished - though it has to be said that women are still second class citizens in many cultures.
Fast forward to now. True liberation is for both men and women. I'm definitely female and heterosexual but I would rather poke sharp sticks in my eyes than wear high heels or knit a cardigan! Plus I never felt that maternal urge to reproduce. Liberation means I can follow my own path and am not ruled by the expectations of others. But for women who nurture and raise families, I have the greatest admiration. It's a wonderful and very important role - I almost wish I was an 'earth mother' type. But it wasn't for me.
The same goes for the man in my life. He should not be mocked because he can't saw a piece of wood or understand a car's inner workings. Maybe he isn't the main breadwinner? So what? Maybe he wants to be the one to stay at home to raise the kids? So what? Or maybe he earns megabucks and wifey wears an apron and stays at home 24/7. No problem. If it's by informed choice it's all good, people.
That's what liberation should be for all of us.

Originally posted by quietlearner
reply to post by Frira

 

you are quick to generalize any feminist as "sub-humans"

I am neither "quick" nor "generalizing." I have been careful to qualify "activists" each and every time. So hop down off my back-- I already have an ex-wife--- but you audition well.

Persons in human form who have no empathy, no sense of right and wrong, and no contrition for violent destructive acts-- are NOT human. That may mean YOU-- so get over it-- everyone knows anyway.

So, since my last installment, dear reader...

Living well under the poverty level, I did most of my own legal work ,as I could afford, to get my children back from the monster who had the full resources of the Office of the Attorney General available to her because she is a woman.

* BY LAW... Child support cannot exceed 25% of NET income. Mine was 55% of GROSS income. The OAG knew this and refused to act-- because by unwritten policy, they do not act to lower child support being paid to women.
* BY LAW... the OAG is tasked with enforcing custody and visitation orders... BUT, by unwritten policy, they do not enforce visitation for FATHERS.

After she moved from one county after another to avoid appearing in court in which I might have a voice and be allowed to testify, the OAG looked the other way. I finally got her in court this past summer. SEVEN YEARS too late!

SURPISE! The court was federally funded to serve OAG cases only-- and had no power to enforce custody and while had the power to increase child support, was prohibited from lowering it.

Do you wish to explain how that came to be, or do I need to do it for you?

Here's a hint-- Women's activists lobbied for it!

My youngest child does not remember me after seven years.

My oldest child, I later learned, ran away from home at fourteen. I do not even know if my ex-wife knows where he is.

I have tracked her as best as I can, and secretly have very tenuous Internet contact with my daughter. In years past, when my ex-wife discovered that my children had been contacting me, she prohibited them from making phone calls, denied them Internet access, and moved them from school to school and county to county, while telling them that I did not want to have anything to do with them. They knew better, but according to my daughter, my son will not forgive me for failing to rescue them.

Why did I fail?

I filed the motions, I showed up in court, I chased them across Texas, and was blocked every time my the feminists activists.

Are you not angry for me and for my children?

If you are not-- you are not human.

the propensity to hate and dehumanize a wide group based on so little is a very dangerous combination.

"So little?"

And who has been dehumanized?

Dang straight that I am dangerous. Since I am a man-- I am more dangerous than most women. A fact the OAG, my ex-wife, and the courts have failed to take into account. What if I let my dangerousness loose?

I had not been but in one fight since High School (two muggers which I overwhelmed)-- UNTIL a few years after my divorce. I never fought back against my wife-- I was brought up that way-- as explained well in the video.

But a violent drunk MAN made the mistake of shoving me aggressively one night about four years ago. I overwhelmed him with my pent-up violence so quickly it frightened me and everyone around. Four college students decided they would join the man I was considering killing-- and the choice was, indeed, mine.

The other four were ineffective and gave me the time to work out my tactics. Since I was obviously not afraid, they were wary. I held the instigator in a choke hold and calmly stated to the largest of the college students, "If the four of your to do not step away, I will kill him and then do the same to you." I meant it. He knew I meant it and moreover, that I could and would do it-- he had seen how quickly and surely I overwhelmed the first one. All four let go, and only then, did I allow the first one to draw a breath.

That I CAN do that-- scares the Hell out of me. I am very disciplined, but once in combat, I can kill-- know how, and have the ability. Sixteen years of a violent wife treating me as a punching bag-- I am far more experienced in defending myself-- but it turns out that translating my defensive experience and reactions to overwhelming offense is a natural thing.

I am first and foremost moral. I am also very disciplined.

I have had seven years to contemplate what I CAN do, verses what I ought to do, morally. A thin line remains that protects those who have done what has been done to my children and to me. If my ex-wife kills one of my children (and she tried, twice, when they were young), the police had better get to her first.

And as for those of you sitting comfortably on the sidelines, unaffected-- just shut up.

What you are describing happens to women as well.

It is NOT acceptable. No, you do not deserve to be treated in such a manner. It is an injustice to you and your children, an adversarial destructive abomination regardless of who it is done to.

(Imagine a time when you wouldn't have even been able to divorce this person. Not an improvement.)

Originally posted by Frira
If you are not disturbed by bone breaking, bloody and regular violence being called "bullying" when a woman does it to a man and her children (me and mine, for example), and "violence" when a man does it to a woman-- then you need to be disturbed more often.

I dont condone violence on anyone, regardless of gender and i'd go as far as to claim that many people also dont encourage or accept violence as normal conduct in society. Im more disturbed at the fact that you seem to have tarred everyone with the same brush in a hateful rage, cant help but feel you maybe psychopathic at times.

You are not angry because it did not happen to you.
You are not angry because it was not your children.

Grew up with a violent alcoholic mother who loved to knock us around, smash up the house and put knives to my dads throat. # happens.

But if it was you, and if it was your children, then you would be angry-- not needing a shrink-- you would just be angry; and I would understand. So, thank you very much, but I win the sanity test.

I was angry, wasted alot of years of my life BEING angry and then after seeing that anger was getting me nowhere i actively sought some proper professional help so that i could have at least a chance of living a better life in which i was happy. I guess i win the maturity test.

And I guarantee you that if you said what you wrote to my face, I would make you understand the experience of anger and outrage so fast your teeth would rattle.

Cool off keyboard warrior, im not going to sit here and have you threaten me, I should report this post but im not easily rattled. Its a public forum filled with opinions, no ones making you read or reply to my posts so why your bothering to the macho "I'll make your teeth rattle" is nothing less the absurd. You do realise your threatening a 22 year old woman, right? Of course you dont, that would require thinking on your part.

One of us sees straight and thinks straight. The other is “disturbed” by my tone.

PS: And as for Annee, to whose defense you have rushed-- she can "man-up" and apologize for speaking way out of line to me and minimizing my trauma and my children's trauma as "bullying." That "bullying" woman I married killed a man before I met her. She forgot to tell me until married six years.

Just because someone spoke "way out of line" doesn't mean you have to respond - it inflames the situation. You could just report Anne's posts and proper action would have been taken. Your posts are borderline trolling. If your pain is so personal i recommend not posting it on ANY public forum, you are merely setting yourself up to get hurt.

Oh, and she was young and pretty, so spent not a day in custody. Not a day. But then, I guess, why should anyone be punished for "bullying" a man... to death?

edit on 30-12-2011 by Frira because: postscript

Well, that sucks. Least you didnt get thrown out of your house with 4 kids because your husband died and as a woman, you weren't allowed a mortgage - Yup, there was a reason feminism happened.
Its to bad this crazy woman of yours wasn't around in the 18th century - you could have got her locked up for life on your say so!


P.S if your reply to this post is insulting without actually discussing the topic, i WILL flag your post for being offensive. Hope that rattles your cage a little bit and maybe helps settle you down.

Originally posted by SearchLightsInc

Originally posted by Frira
If you are not disturbed by bone breaking, bloody and regular violence being called "bullying" when a woman does it to a man and her children (me and mine, for example), and "violence" when a man does it to a woman-- then you need to be disturbed more often.

I dont condone violence on anyone, regardless of gender and i'd go as far as to claim that many people also dont encourage or accept violence as normal conduct in society. Im more disturbed at the fact that you seem to have tarred everyone with the same brush in a hateful rage, cant help but feel you maybe psychopathic at times.

"Everyone?"

I have been quite specific-- no broad brush has been used. It just so happens that you fall into that very specific group-- and you don't like the realization of that. Solution-- don't fall into that hate-motivated group. Didn't your therapist explain this to you?

Twice you have insulted me for being angry. (Minus 1 on the sanity scale).

You, obviously, are angry. So go get more help. I am obviously not interested in denying my anger or turning it inward, or directing it outward against the innocent-- only letting it loose on those who merit an angry response-- and in appropriate measure. Do likewise.

I was angry, wasted alot of years of my life BEING angry and then after seeing that anger was getting me nowhere i actively sought some proper professional help so that i could have at least a chance of living a better life in which i was happy. I guess i win the maturity test.

Then your professional was sub-standard-- they forget to tell you the anger goes somewhere-- either inward or outward-- and so you, at the very least, troll the Internet getting it out.

Frankly, I do not believe there is a therapist on the planet who told you that you could just ignore all that anger-- put it away-- or let you believe that you have done so.

And I guarantee you that if you said what you wrote to my face, I would make you understand the experience of anger and outrage so fast your teeth would rattle.

Cool off keyboard warrior, im not going to sit here and have you threaten me, I should report this post but im not easily rattled.

But, you are sitting there, and typing out your anger-- obviously. That means you are in denial. Minus 2 on the sanity check. Blame your Mom-- not me. Minus 3.

You are the one that started mouthing off at me-- and you knew nothing of me.

You don't like it that you found someone angrier than you AND you made the mistake of making it personal. So sit there and take it-- you earned it.

Live with it. Deal with the anger I can evoke in you. Relish it, make it your own. Stare at yourself in the mirror and contemplate its depths and your inability to stop it from eating at you.

You should not have volunteered me to receive your anger if you were not prepared for a fitting response. What planet do you think you live on?

Its a public forum filled with opinions, no ones making you read or reply to my posts so why your bothering to the macho "I'll make your teeth rattle" is nothing less the absurd. You do realise your threatening a 22 year old woman, right? Of course you dont, that would require thinking on your part.

That was "so fast it will make your teeth rattle." Get your idiom straight-- and quote me as I write or not all. You are dishonest. Minus 4 (and counting).

Strike first and then play the victim? How... un-manly of you.

One of us sees straight and thinks straight. The other is “disturbed” by my tone.

PS: And as for Annee, to whose defense you have rushed-- she can "man-up" and apologize for speaking way out of line to me and minimizing my trauma and my children's trauma as "bullying." That "bullying" woman I married killed a man before I met her. She forgot to tell me until married six years.

Just because someone spoke "way out of line" doesn't mean you have to respond - it inflames the situation. You could just report Anne's posts and proper action would have been taken. Your posts are borderline trolling. If your pain is so personal i recommend not posting it on ANY public forum, you are merely setting yourself up to get hurt.

But where does my anger go if I do not respond? It was appropriate-- a healthy response-- but you internalized my reply as if I had addressed you. Minus 5.

But reporting a post I don't like, is to expect others to get dirty to protect me. Men rarely do that.

Originally posted by ldyserenity
I, for one hate the feminist movement for making it impossible to NOT have to work, se NOW because two income households are the norm, I m,ust work, too, because now it is so inflated from there being two income households that it is impossible to do it on one income!!! Thanks so much feminazis...oh the worse part we still don't get the same pay as much as we bust our a$$ so why the hell bother our income just ends up going to childcare for the msot part. I hate the bra burning itches!

I agree with you on this, except hate is too strong a word for me. Plus women are no longer treated with the respect they used to, as now being a housewife and mother are no longer coveted positions but having a high powered job commands respect. Want a job, you have do drive a forklift like the guys. Thank goodness the ERA didn't pass or we would HAVE to go on the battle front.

Women have traded in their feminine appeal for hard-nosed jobs.

Originally posted by SearchLightsInc

Originally posted by Frira
One of us sees straight and thinks straight. The other is “disturbed” by my tone.

PS: And as for Annee, to whose defense you have rushed-- she can "man-up" and apologize for speaking way out of line to me and minimizing my trauma and my children's trauma as "bullying." That "bullying" woman I married killed a man before I met her. She forgot to tell me until married six years.

Just because someone spoke "way out of line" doesn't mean you have to respond - it inflames the situation. You could just report Anne's posts and proper action would have been taken. Your posts are borderline trolling. If your pain is so personal i recommend not posting it on ANY public forum, you are merely setting yourself up to get hurt.

Well your advise is not professional-- and I am a professional. Actually, what works is telling my story, With PTSD, I re-live it less and less when I get it out, and that makes me more functional. That was good, professional, advice which I took-- not my own-- I do not counsel myself, good professionals don't do that.

Your lay advice is damaging to others who read it-- and I will correct it. The proper response to ANYONE who says "just let your anger go, because anger is unhealthy" is "TICK. TICK. TICK..."

And you let off little explosions on the Internet, hoping someone will react so you can target them. I did. You vented. You are welcome. The differences, however, are important. I'm serious.

First, I vented on someone who minimized my trauma and my children's trauma. That was appropriate.
Second, I had not addressed you at all, and yet you teed off on me. Inappropriate.

My story invokes an emotional reaction among those who will engage it. Reading it from a neutral point of view, evokes empathy-- it hurts to read it and know nothing can be done. I live with that-- I have no choice. My children are still missing-- grieving cannot end and anger is a part of grief. I quote TWO professionals in speaking to me, "If you, Frira were not angry, you would be clinically insane." They shared my anger-- that helps.

But those who read my story with an agenda-- minimize it ""Get over it-- having your children kidnapped and denied a voice in the justice system;" or, blame me, "He must have done something to deserve it;" or deny it happened, "There must be more to the story than we are hearing."

And what is the healthy, normal human response to that? There is one word which is commonly used: That word is "rage."

So how much off my rage would you like? I have plenty.

Oh, and she was young and pretty, so spent not a day in custody. Not a day. But then, I guess, why should anyone be punished for "bullying" a man... to death?

edit on 30-12-2011 by Frira because: postscript

Well, that sucks. Least you didnt get thrown out of your house with 4 kids because your husband died and as a woman, you weren't allowed a mortgage - Yup, there was a reason feminism happened.
Its to bad this crazy woman of yours wasn't around in the 18th century - you could have got her locked up for life on your say so!

But I did get thrown out of my house-- and had my children hidden from me-- because, against the activist feminist agenda, most MEN have no legal recourse. So, the Eighteenth Century justifies what the activist have done to my children and to me? And you cannot see that as a problem? Minus 6.

Mind you, you are the one who made it personal and twice questioned my sanity. So report all you want for my keeping score.

Originally posted by Frira

"Everyone?"

I have been quite specific-- no broad brush has been used. It just so happens that you fall into that very specific group-- and you don't like the realization of that. Solution-- don't fall into that hate-motivated group. Didn't your therapist explain this to you?

Ofcourse i fit that catagory, i am a woman and you are a misogynist, how could i move the goal posts you've set?

Twice you have insulted me for being angry. (Minus 1 on the sanity scale).

You, obviously, are angry. So go get more help. I am obviously not interested in denying my anger or turning it inward, or directing it outward against the innocent-- only letting it loose on those who merit an angry response-- and in appropriate measure. Do likewise.

First off, im not angry, sorry if you feel insulted darling, its not intentional. Secondly, i would LOVE to know what ive done to "merit" an angry response and futhermore, why you feel ENTITLED to direct your anger at other people on this forum. I thought that was against ATS rules and regs?

Then your professional was sub-standard-- they forget to tell you the anger goes somewhere-- either inward or outward-- and so you, at the very least, troll the Internet getting it out.

Sweetheart, from what ive seen of your posts i wouldnt trust your opinion when it comes to how professional my therapist was. In his defence, he was anything but sub-standard. You do not know him, dont insult him. Simple really.

Frankly, I do not believe there is a therapist on the planet who told you that you could just ignore all that anger-- put it away-- or let you believe that you have done so.

No therapist would be stupid enough to suggest that, thats probably why you dont believe it. Its not the therapist that "cures" you, they help you come to terms with where you've come from, where you are and where your going. Anger doesnt just disappear, its abit like grief, at the start its intense, and gradully the breaks between you feeling it and not feeling it get bigger and bigger, but it will always be there.

But, you are sitting there, and typing out your anger-- obviously. That means you are in denial. Minus 2 on the sanity check. Blame your Mom-- not me. Minus 3.

You've got this impression that im smashing up my keyboard while replying and i cant understand why lol im typing very calmly, taking my time, i dont need to get angry, i know what kinda person im dealing with. I think you want me to come down to your level so you can justify your tone, well, it aint happening kid

You are the one that started mouthing off at me-- and you knew nothing of me.

Mouthing off at you? i merely stated that the tone in your post disturbed ME. mouthing off at you would be telling you: "Dont be a douche, why you pulling out the sympathy card and expecting everyone to get all empathetic over your bad cards in life? Tone it down and sort your head out.

You don't like it that you found someone angrier than you AND you made the mistake of making it personal. So sit there and take it-- you earned it.
Live with it. Deal with the anger I can evoke in you. Relish it, make it your own. Stare at yourself in the mirror and contemplate its depths and your inability to stop it from eating at you.
You should not have volunteered me to receive your anger if you were not prepared for a fitting response. What planet do you think you live on?

Its not a competition you know, if you wanna live your life being angry then hey, its yours to waste just dont take it out on me, simple. I stopped the anger, guess im stronger then you, why not try using "The force"

That was "so fast it will make your teeth rattle." Get your idiom straight-- and quote me as I write or not all. You are dishonest.

Your still trying to threaten me into not questioning your story, how... um.. manly? of you?

Strike first and then play the victim? How... un-manly of you.

Victim? HAHAHAHA!!!! Sir, the only victim here is you. You are a victim of your own hate, look how much its blinded you, Your under the impression im attacking you for god's sake

But where does my anger go if I do not respond? It was appropriate-- a healthy response-- but you internalized my reply as if I had addressed you. Minus 5.

Hey, where your anger goes isnt my problem, but this is one place where it shouldn't. People come here to discuss topics, not to cuss each other out. Everyone should keep it civil and these little fits of rage people seem to have shouldn't go unchecked. Its not a school playground, its the classroom.

But reporting a post I don't like, is to expect others to get dirty to protect me. Men rarely do that.

You speak for all men then? Didn't realise they elected a leader.

Originally posted by Frira

Originally posted by SearchLightsInc

Originally posted by Frira
One of us sees straight and thinks straight. The other is “disturbed” by my tone.

PS: And as for Annee, to whose defense you have rushed-- she can "man-up" and apologize for speaking way out of line to me and minimizing my trauma and my children's trauma as "bullying." That "bullying" woman I married killed a man before I met her. She forgot to tell me until married six years.

Just because someone spoke "way out of line" doesn't mean you have to respond - it inflames the situation. You could just report Anne's posts and proper action would have been taken. Your posts are borderline trolling. If your pain is so personal i recommend not posting it on ANY public forum, you are merely setting yourself up to get hurt.

Well your advise is not professional-- and I am a professional. Actually, what works is telling my story, With PTSD, I re-live it less and less when I get it out, and that makes me more functional. That was good, professional, advice which I took-- not my own-- I do not counsel myself, good professionals don't do that.

Your lay advice is damaging to others who read it-- and I will correct it. The proper response to ANYONE who says "just let your anger go, because anger is unhealthy" is "TICK. TICK. TICK..."

And you let off little explosions on the Internet, hoping someone will react so you can target them. I did. You vented. You are welcome. The differences, however, are important. I'm serious.

First, I vented on someone who minimized my trauma and my children's trauma. That was appropriate.
Second, I had not addressed you at all, and yet you teed off on me. Inappropriate.

My story invokes an emotional reaction among those who will engage it. Reading it from a neutral point of view, evokes empathy-- it hurts to read it and know nothing can be done. I live with that-- I have no choice. My children are still missing-- grieving cannot end and anger is a part of grief. I quote TWO professionals in speaking to me, "If you, Frira were not angry, you would be clinically insane." They shared my anger-- that helps.

But those who read my story with an agenda-- minimize it ""Get over it-- having your children kidnapped and denied a voice in the justice system;" or, blame me, "He must have done something to deserve it;" or deny it happened, "There must be more to the story than we are hearing."

And what is the healthy, normal human response to that? There is one word which is commonly used: That word is "rage."

So how much off my rage would you like? I have plenty.

Oh, and she was young and pretty, so spent not a day in custody. Not a day. But then, I guess, why should anyone be punished for "bullying" a man... to death?

edit on 30-12-2011 by Frira because: postscript

Well, that sucks. Least you didnt get thrown out of your house with 4 kids because your husband died and as a woman, you weren't allowed a mortgage - Yup, there was a reason feminism happened.
Its to bad this crazy woman of yours wasn't around in the 18th century - you could have got her locked up for life on your say so!

But I did get thrown out of my house-- and had my children hidden from me-- because, against the activist feminist agenda, most MEN have no legal recourse. So, the Eighteenth Century justifies what the activist have done to my children and to me? And you cannot see that as a problem? Minus 6.

Mind you, you are the one who made it personal and twice questioned my sanity. So report all you want for my keeping score.

Do you want a flipping medal or something?????
You've had a tough run in life, Boo-hoo! People get up and they get over stuff, you seem to want to revel and whine about it. The correct response you seem to be looking for is the following:

"Frira, out of the global population of almost 7 billion people, YOU ARE SPECIAL."

Now you've heard it, will you cut the BS? Thanks.

Originally posted by SearchLightsInc

Originally posted by Frira

"Everyone?"

I have been quite specific-- no broad brush has been used. It just so happens that you fall into that very specific group-- and you don't like the realization of that. Solution-- don't fall into that hate-motivated group. Didn't your therapist explain this to you?

Ofcourse i fit that catagory, i am a woman and you are a misogynist, how could i move the goal posts you've set?

I dare you quote me to support your charge of "misogyny" or of "moving the goal posts."

I have consistently written "activists feminists" in my equating that to hate.

Twice you have insulted me for being angry. (Minus 1 on the sanity scale).

You, obviously, are angry. So go get more help. I am obviously not interested in denying my anger or turning it inward, or directing it outward against the innocent-- only letting it loose on those who merit an angry response-- and in appropriate measure. Do likewise.

First off, im not angry, sorry if you feel insulted darling, its not intentional. Secondly, i would LOVE to know what ive done to "merit" an angry response and futhermore, why you feel ENTITLED to direct your anger at other people on this forum. I thought that was against ATS rules and regs?

Wasn't it against ATS regs, when you wrote:

Perhaps you should see a shrink.

or when you wrote,

you seem to have tarred everyone with the same brush in a hateful rage, cant help but feel you maybe psychopathic at times.

Hmm? That was not anger?

You think you can reconcile that?

That is what you have done to "merit" an angry response.

Then your professional was sub-standard-- they forget to tell you the anger goes somewhere-- either inward or outward-- and so you, at the very least, troll the Internet getting it out.

Sweetheart, from what ive seen of your posts i wouldnt trust your opinion when it comes to how professional my therapist was. In his defence, he was anything but sub-standard. You do not know him, dont insult him. Simple really.

Frankly, I do not believe there is a therapist on the planet who told you that you could just ignore all that anger-- put it away-- or let you believe that you have done so.

No therapist would be stupid enough to suggest that, thats probably why you dont believe it. Its not the therapist that "cures" you, they help you come to terms with where you've come from, where you are and where your going. Anger doesnt just disappear, its abit like grief, at the start its intense, and gradully the breaks between you feeling it and not feeling it get bigger and bigger, but it will always be there.

That was a long way to go for you to admit I was right.

That is, that your therapist did not claim what you implied; and that your own advice to me is something you pulled out of the air-- and would not follow yourself.

But, you are sitting there, and typing out your anger-- obviously. That means you are in denial. Minus 2 on the sanity check. Blame your Mom-- not me. Minus 3.

You've got this impression that im smashing up my keyboard while replying and i cant understand why lol im typing very calmly, taking my time, i dont need to get angry, i know what kinda person im dealing with. I think you want me to come down to your level so you can justify your tone, well, it aint happening kid

Nope. Not imagining you in such a way. I am imagining you writing:

Perhaps you should see a shrink.

and you wrote,

you seem to have tarred everyone with the same brush in a hateful rage, cant help but feel you maybe psychopathic at times.

Oh wait, I wasn't imagining that all-- your really wrote that-- and that is anger.

You are the one that started mouthing off at me-- and you knew nothing of me.

Mouthing off at you? i merely stated that the tone in your post disturbed ME.

No, that is not all you wrote. You also wrote

Perhaps you should see a shrink.

and writing,

you seem to have tarred everyone with the same brush in a hateful rage, cant help but feel you maybe psychopathic at times.

You seem awful forgetful-- or unwilling to take responsibility for your anger.

Originally posted by Frira

Wasn't it against ATS regs, when you wrote:

Perhaps you should see a shrink.

or when you wrote,

you seem to have tarred everyone with the same brush in a hateful rage, cant help but feel you maybe psychopathic at times.

Hmm? That was not anger?

You think you can reconcile that?

It wasnt written in anger, actually in concern. It might suprise you to learn that were not all angry people, unlike some.

That is what you have done to "merit" an angry response.

That's a piss poor excuse to say the least.

That was a long way to go for you to admit I was right.

That is, that your therapist did not claim what you implied; and that your own advice to me is something you pulled out of the air-- and would not follow yourself.

I didnt admit you were "right" your wrong AND delusional, seriously, seek out a shrink

Nope. Not imagining you in such a way. I am imagining you writing:

Perhaps you should see a shrink.

and you wrote,

you seem to have tarred everyone with the same brush in a hateful rage, cant help but feel you maybe psychopathic at times.

Oh wait, I wasn't imagining that all-- your really wrote that-- and that is anger.

You have chosen to see those response's as angry, fine. They weren't, but whats the point in explaining it? You're ignorant
DENY IGNORANCE!!

You seem awful forgetful-- or unwilling to take responsibility for your anger.

Im not angry so theres nothing to take responsibility for lol

This is where i leave our little "discussion"
Im sorry your such an angry person and feel the need to bring that onto a public forum. Im even more sorry that you need other people - even complete strangers - to VALIDATE your pain.
Best if luck darling and have a happy new year xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Originally posted by SearchLightsInc

Originally posted by Frira

You don't like it that you found someone angrier than you AND you made the mistake of making it personal. So sit there and take it-- you earned it.
Live with it. Deal with the anger I can evoke in you. Relish it, make it your own. Stare at yourself in the mirror and contemplate its depths and your inability to stop it from eating at you.
You should not have volunteered me to receive your anger if you were not prepared for a fitting response. What planet do you think you live on?

Its not a competition you know, if you wanna live your life being angry then hey, its yours to waste just dont take it out on me, simple. I stopped the anger, guess im stronger then you, why not try using "The force"

You may be stronger than me. I reached my breaking point a few years back; and NO ONE stops anger-- why do you keep insisting on that?

It is the tyrants, male and female, who I despise-- and their defenders. You should join me in that and stop defending them.

That was "so fast it will make your teeth rattle." Get your idiom straight-- and quote me as I write or not all. You are dishonest.

Your still trying to threaten me into not questioning your story, how... um.. manly? of you?

Reminding you that you are dealing with a flesh and blood human being with the scars to prove it is not a threat. It threatens you false-world where all is safe and all you do is acceptable.

I live in a different world than that one-- one which is not safe, and one which it matters what I do and how I treat others.

Strike first and then play the victim? How... un-manly of you.

Victim? HAHAHAHA!!!! Sir, the only victim here is you.

If you believed that, why did you post anything to me? Rhetorical question-- I have a good grip on the answer.

But where does my anger go if I do not respond? It was appropriate-- a healthy response-- but you internalized my reply as if I had addressed you. Minus 5.

Hey, where your anger goes isnt my problem, but this is one place where it shouldn't. People come here to discuss topics, not to cuss each other out. Everyone should keep it civil and these little fits of rage people seem to have shouldn't go unchecked. Its not a school playground, its the classroom.

Then, perhaps you ought to have taken your own advice and not directed your anger at me. Do I need to quote you again?

Apparently I do:

Your tone is disturbing to say the least. Perhaps you should see a shrink.

and

you seem to have tarred everyone with the same brush in a hateful rage, cant help but feel you maybe psychopathic at times.

Back in the classroom and off the playground with you!

But reporting a post I don't like, is to expect others to get dirty to protect me. Men rarely do that.

You speak for all men

As one, I get to speak as one. Watch the video to listen to a women explain why men are that way.

Originally posted by SearchLightsInc

Originally posted by Frira

Wasn't it against ATS regs, when you wrote:

Perhaps you should see a shrink.

or when you wrote,

you seem to have tarred everyone with the same brush in a hateful rage, cant help but feel you maybe psychopathic at times.

Hmm? That was not anger?

You think you can reconcile that?

It wasnt written in anger, actually in concern. It might suprise you to learn that were not all angry people, unlike some.

You simply omitted typing the "concern" part when you wrote?

You are only thinking of that now-- after how many posts?

That is what you have done to "merit" an angry response.

That's a piss poor excuse to say the least.

It is only a piss poor excuse if your "concern" excuse was not piss poor. Since your excuse is piss poor, my reply does not become an excuse but remains justified-- and I think you know it.

The way one can tell the difference is, for example, when you might write, "I'm sorry, I was really just concerned for you, but it came off like I was name-calling."

Or, another missing example might be from Annee: "I'm sorry I minimized what happened to you and your children-- it was unfair-- and I just got caught up in my agenda without facing the reality of the horror of the collateral damage"

But those are imaginary-- they did not happen.

That was a long way to go for you to admit I was right.

That is, that your therapist did not claim what you implied; and that your own advice to me is something you pulled out of the air-- and would not follow yourself.

I didnt admit you were "right"

Yes, you did; and point for point. Re-read.

your wrong AND delusional, seriously, seek out a shrink

There you go again!

Nope. Not imagining you in such a way. I am imagining you writing:

Perhaps you should see a shrink.

and you wrote,

you seem to have tarred everyone with the same brush in a hateful rage, cant help but feel you maybe psychopathic at times.

Oh wait, I wasn't imagining that all-- your really wrote that-- and that is anger.

You have chosen to see those response's as angry, fine. They weren't, but whats the point in explaining it? You're ignorant

Really? No anger? Just concern? No one has ever pointed out to you that your concern sounds and reads just like anger?

You seem awful forgetful-- or unwilling to take responsibility for your anger.

Im not angry so theres nothing to take responsibility for lol

Why are you "laughing out loud" so much?

This is where i leave our little "discussion"

Oh, I bet it isn't.

I bet you will vent some more of your "concern" on me.

Prove me wrong-- give me the last word! I dare you!

Im sorry your such an angry person and feel the need to bring that onto a public forum. Im even more sorry that you need other people - even complete strangers - to VALIDATE your pain.
Best if luck darling and have a happy new year

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I confront the hate of others all over-- and respond to it rather than deny its existence-- even when I find it in myself.

Anger is one thing, hate is another.
Righteousness is one thing; self-righteousness is another.
Concern is one thing; and it doesn't share an appearance with anger.

Originally posted by SearchLightsInc

Originally posted by Frira

Mind you, you are the one who made it personal and twice questioned my sanity. So report all you want for my keeping score.

Do you want a flipping medal or something?????
You've had a tough run in life, Boo-hoo!

More of that "concern" you said is all you really meant?

But that is just it-- the activists deny the damage they have done to innocents.

In the activists view, their humanity is sold off when they take the view that nothing they have done could possibly ruin families or destroy another's purpose and meaning in life.

They cannot take responsibility that what they have done had something to do with breaking another so that HE is unable to contribute to society-- unable to face society for the most part.

If I cry out in anger-- or pain-- I have to hear, "You want a flipping medal?" and then get accused of being a "hater" if I react to THAT in anger-- as if the dismissive tone to another's horror is acceptable or even sane!

My children did not disappear for a time, several years ago-- my children are missing right now as I type. My anger is continually RAW. And you want to grind glass into the wound but expect me to be silent as you do it?

I don't want "a flipping medal" I want you to acknowledge what you have done with your "ends justify the means" agenda.

I want you to acknowledge the US legal system as regards divorce and custody is not about elevating women to equality but an instrument of the hate instigated by the activist feminists as lobbyists-- without whose backing, no judge and no other elected official takes office.

I want you to acknowledge that I hurt-- and that the worst of it (my children) I CANNOT write because I cannot function when I do.

The anger you have seen-- is only the tip of the iceberg. As I said, I am quite disciplined. And you are welcome for my exercising my discipline-- because you did not deserve it.

People get up and they get over stuff, you seem to want to revel and whine about it.

As I just wrote-- its not something in the past-- it is very present and indescribably painful. Right now. This very moment-- and every moment since they have disappeared.

Can you imagine how exhausting that is?

Give me a medal for only confronting your words-- and not what I suspect is the blackness behind them. I know blackness-- and I can smell it on you.

I think you are being Trolled, Frira.

There are problems in the system, and I am hoping I am seeing some correction here where I live.

The hodge-podge system of the US is another matter. The lack of a clear direction and lack of a goal to set by politicians for the Judicial system to use is the culprit. Common-Law only goes so far, and the minutia based adversarial system will not be fixed until a federated legislative .... charter .... is set. One that defines the goals of the divorce and custody system in terms that give direction to the judicial system.

Politicians, all busy doing anything but their job.