When the army looked for volunteers to test a new kind of eye-drop, Billy signed the forms.
Now he found himself strapped to a futuristic silver machine, but he was already tranquilized.
He heard himself say: "Are you sure this is safe Sarge?"
Then everything turned black.
When he awoke, Billy saw a white coat of a doctor, and he felt relieved, and touched it for comfort.
Then he heard a high-pitched woman's voice: "Eew, it touched me, I better wash my paws and have my coat washed after this mangy thing touched me."
Billy looked up, and saw the face of a Dachshund staring down at him in disgust.
"Oh my hat, somebody call human control", said an even higher pitched voice.
Billy saw a wooly white paw holding an injection, as he looked into the visage of a ... poodle!
His body lay paralyzed, as his mind tried to make sense of it all.
Suddenly Billy heard a rough man's voice.
His forehead was refreshingly wet, as saliva dripped on it.
Above him stood a wide-jawed Doberman, and behind him a German Shepard.
Their faces looked like regular dogs, but they stood on two legs, like humans.
They also wore clothing, and Billy could make out two nurses and two cops.
The Doberman panted, and growled: "What shall we do with him nurse?"
The Dachshund pinched her nose, and replied: "Take it to the human kennels, or the forests. It stinks! I do not want to give that disgusting human a
bath! He's probably got lice."
The German Shepard glibly interrupted, "Nurse, don't you think you should sterilize him first, you know how these humans breed."
The poodle nurse put her manicured paw over the furry hand of the officer.
She sniffed his shoulder, and grinned: "Officer, can I have your number? I'm almost in heat".
Just then a wheelchair approached through the door.
As it came closer, Billy could make out the head of a Beagle - old, and wizened.
It was not a wheelchair, but some kind of contraption that allowed the old Beagle to remain upright, thus he could wave his arms and paws, while his
hind-legs were replaced by wheels.
Billy could see the Beagle transfixing his eyes, almost like he had read his very soul.
"This one is different, he comes from the past ..."
Everybody gasped and stuck out their tongues; panting nervously.
"The Rottweiler Division will debrief you all soon ... just keep your traps shut and you'll all be fine."
The Dachshund looked down loyally at Billy: "But what about him?"
The German Shepard scoffed, "I'd never take that one home, he looks retarded."
The Beagle stopped panting for a moment, and added "He's pedigree, and he'll probably go to a human stud-farm."
The Doberman took a hoof out of his pocket and started chewing on it.
Everybody looked down sadly upon Billy.
Things were becoming blurry as a muzzle was pulled over his head.
Billy awoke as nubile human women stroked his hair.
He realized that he was in a cage with three or four of them.
The Beagle looked at him from behind the bars, and said: "Make sure he he stays here until he impregnates them all - oh, and if they get a cramp just
throw a bucket of water over them."
Billy ran to the bars and shouted: "No, I'm gay, I'm gay ... I'm GAY!"
The Dachshund nurse threw him a cookie, and laughed: "He's so happy here, look how he's barking."
"Totally, he's just like my boyfriend", the poodle giggled.
Billy awoke, as a wetness touched his face.
It was the Sarge and his German Shepard who had come to visit him in hospital, after the eye-drops were approved by the FDA in very small amounts for
Later men who were at that experiment would tell him: "Billy, you and I both know that you disappeared from that silver machine when it started
spinning for at least six hours. One moment you were there strapped to this piece of evil junk, and then you were gone. Then you came back screaming
that you were gay. What really happened to you?"
Billy never said nothing, and eventually he got a nice retrenchment package.
He convinced himself that it had all just been a dream, and he even got himself two dogs for his yard by the woods - a Dachshund and an Alsatian.
But one day his doorbell rang, and there stood a lady holding up a packet on his porch, and smiled: "Sir, would you like to hear how our formula of
dog-food increases your pet's brain power, and how it it grows braincells for dogs, hounds and pooches?"
The neighbors said that they never heard a door bang shut so loudly.
edit on 27-12-2011 by halfoldman because: (no reason given)