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No present under the tree..

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posted on Dec, 23 2011 @ 04:20 PM
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This will be the first yeat that our children wont have any presents under the tree. they understand and are being so good about it, not complaining, asking if they can help out in any way, trying to make little things out of stuff in their rooms, little gifts, things to wrap, for their mother and I.

It has been a hard year for us, as Im sure it has for allot of people, I have been out of work for some time now, so I decided to go back to school and get an education in the IT field, so school has taken up all of my time, and my wife their mother is the sole bread winner at this time, doing all she can do to keep us afloat, even pawning her own wedding rings(without me knowing) just to get us to this week, something I hope to change as soon as I graduate in September, but the thing that gets me is our children, and how well they have adapted to our plight.

I dont even know why Im writing this thread, I guess to just share it with someone, a way to relieve some of the stress of it all. I know I havnt been very friendly member at times, even abrasive. Ijust am so proud of my great children, Emerson, Amanda, and Tyler, we have explained it to them that there wont be any gifts for them under the tree on Christmas day, and we are not just trying to trick them, and they tell us they understand, but thefeeling we get inside knowing that they sooo deserve something on christmas day, and we cant give it to them, really hurts our hearts, and theres nothing we can do. I guess we' ll just have to wait untill next payday and see if we can put enough bills off and get them something.

Maybe this year will be different, maybe itll bring better oppertunities, maybe Ill finaly find that job that will make everything all right, who knows. I just know that this Christmas three kids arnt going to have a any, I guess we just need to be thankfull we have a roof over our heads and we're warm,it just hurts.

Thanks for listening, and letting me get it out, I hope I made the right choice going back to school, I hope I can give them the life they deserve, I hope they forgive us for this year, and I hope we can make it up to them in the future.




posted on Dec, 23 2011 @ 04:29 PM
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Be thankful you have a family to enjoy it with...coming from a guy with nobody...I think presents are the last thing to worry about.
Quality time with your children and family is whats important.

Its good to be proud but better to be thankful.
I hope I don't sound harsh...just being real.
Merry Christmas.


Also,I grew up poor and have been told there might not be any gifts....it wasn't that bad and made you thankful for what you had.
It might be a good,positive experience.
edit on 23-12-2011 by DrumsRfun because: (no reason given)



posted on Dec, 23 2011 @ 04:31 PM
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...they are being so good, not complaining, asking if they can help out, trying to make little things out of stuff in their rooms, little gifts, things to wrap, for their mother and I...


So is the spirit of the Holiday. Feel blessed and know you live a charmed life for having such a wonderful and thoughtful family. Care not for the trivial nonsense that makes people grow crazy this time of year.

"Nollaig Chridheil & Bliadhna Mhath Ur"

~FugitiveSoul



posted on Dec, 23 2011 @ 04:34 PM
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reply to post by DrumsRfun
 


I know I know, thank you thank you.



posted on Dec, 23 2011 @ 04:35 PM
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reply to post by FugitiveSoul
 


Thank you, its true, we do have each other, I cant help but feel their hearts and be a little sad cuz they are so strong, much stronger than their parents.



posted on Dec, 23 2011 @ 04:40 PM
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reply to post by superjesse13132000
 

I only just read ATS up until now, I read your post and I had to join to reply to you. I have 3 sons, and we have finally come to the end of a very hard road in which I lost everything and I mean everything! My sons were also great and they forget very quickly, thank god!

This will end; it's gonna make you feel bad for a while afterwards, but that will also pass. The one thing that came out of all of it is, I am much closer to my children now then I would be if it hadn't happened. I found out that after the money was gone, they didn't need or really want the toys or anything else. all they wanted or really needed from me was my attention and my time and a whole lot of love.

Your comment about being abrasive struck a chord with me. I was a jackass before it happened and I'm only half a jackass now so that helped a bit as well.

Best of luck to you and your family; may only good things come your way!



posted on Dec, 23 2011 @ 04:45 PM
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reply to post by Turbodog
 


thank you for your kind words, I understand that we arent the only people going throught ruff times, and what do we really need other than each other. This time of year is always hard on our family, first its Christmas, then the wifes birthday on the 28th and mine on the 1st, this time of year always puts a strain on our family. the wife is so good and tries to do what she can, i just hope I can pull it off and make things happen after I graduate.

again thanks for the kind words. J



posted on Dec, 23 2011 @ 05:08 PM
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be thankful you have such a supportive family. Christmas should not be so focused on the gift giving hype, but having a family to share it with.
I lost my husband 2 years ago and Christmas just sucks without him. We didn't exchange gifts (too cheap) we just enjoyed being together.
I still have my family and folks, we just do a few gifts for the kids now and have a good meal.
Your career choice sounds like a wise one, I'm sure you'll all come out of this just fine.
Best wishes !



posted on Dec, 23 2011 @ 05:10 PM
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I know how hard it is when you don't have much to spend on Christmas presents. Especially when the kids are young. My two boys are grown now. They have always been there for me when times were hard. I am so proud of them both.

You might be able to afford anything extravagant, but I;m sure the kids won't care. Go to the Dollar Store or Goodwill. Find something you can give them. A cute necklace for girls and maybe a toy car for boys. Explain to them you can't afford much, but they mean the world to you and you got what you can afford.

You have some great kids there. I know they understand and will be grateful for whatever you can get.



posted on Dec, 23 2011 @ 05:13 PM
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reply to post by superjesse13132000
 


I can empathize with you since I have been there before, especially as a child. My sisters and I remember what we now call the "food stamp" Christmas after our father had an accident and was left paralyzed. We did have to go on food stamps and I turned my paycheck as a 17 year old over to my mom so we could make ends meet. You know, we came through it ok, and we learned some valuable lessons from it. That entire experience of living on the edge made me and my two younger sisters realize the value of what you do have, which is each other.

What are you studying in IT? I'm interested since IT Security is my career field and the company I work for is always interested in resumes. If you would rather U2U me that info feel free to.

i hope everything works out for you and have a Merry Christmas sharing time with your family.



posted on Dec, 23 2011 @ 05:13 PM
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I think your kids are great, and by the way they are reacting, I can tell you they already have all they could ever need; their parents love and care.

And I think a few years down the road, you will all agree that this Christmas was a special one that will forever be remembered by you all, for all the good reasons.

Because their are kids who receive many gifts, but are alone, even when their parents are home.

The best for you in your education!

PS: You know, kids always enjoy camping indoors and it costs only the time needed to build the camp. Maybe you could do that on Christmas Eve?

A very Merry Christmas to you and your family!



posted on Dec, 23 2011 @ 05:14 PM
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You have a tree?




posted on Dec, 23 2011 @ 05:20 PM
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Originally posted by nerbot
You have a tree?



Trollin' much? He didn't say they bought a tree this year. Could be any kind of tree he was mentioning, even a little one that they put up year to year. How is that relevant to the thread?





edit on 23-12-2011 by tsawyer2 because: (no reason given)



posted on Dec, 23 2011 @ 05:44 PM
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hang strong, presents are a cultural thing and so is this holiday, you have got your family that is obviously gonna stick with you until the end, your among some of the wealthiest people on this planet my friend, keep working hard and it will only get easier. best wishes to you and your family



posted on Dec, 23 2011 @ 05:54 PM
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You can give your children a gift that won't cost anything.

Write them each a letter, telling them how much you love them and are proud of them - include some of what you said here.

It's wonderful for them when you say it, but imagine how much a letter that they can keep and cherish will mean to them.

How many times in the future if times are tough might they go and read those letters and remember this Christmas which you can still make special for them?

Do you know any old 'parlour games' that you could play with them on Christmas evening? It might be worth doing a google search, I can only think of 'hunt the thimble' and 'charades'.

Would they enjoy a nice brisk family walk to the park on Christmas morning? Or would a carol service or midnight mass be appealing?

Do you have any talent as a story writer - perhaps you could write a Christmas story for them?

The important thing is that they obviously know how much they are loved and they love you back - even without presents. It's not every parent who could be sure of that



posted on Dec, 23 2011 @ 06:23 PM
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It sounds like you did a good job raising your kids so far. Like another poster said this might be a positive Christmas because without toys they will be focused on the togetherness and love from your family.

Geez I wish my sisters kids were like that the little brats get everything. Christmas is getting so out of hand with all the buy this buy that.



posted on Dec, 23 2011 @ 06:42 PM
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No no no! I'm not accepting this defeatism! I have been there as a single mom, left with bills and without electricity to even cook a meal at Christmas time. My children had to camp out in an icy cold house with their winter coats and boots on and eat peanut butter sandwiches. But we made do, because I simply would not allow them to spend that holiday without a single gift to make them feel special. It's a time when children dream and hope, no matter their age. So I sold things to friends, a lamp, some trinkets, plates etc, and filled a stocking for each child, plus one gift each. No one took pity on us, and I was grateful for that. I didn't need pity, but rather strength and determination.

You can do the same. Use your creativity, man, instead of posting defeatism. Is there nothing you could sell at a pawnshop? An old appliance, a piece of furniture, anything, an old computer, Xbox, etc? If "the wife" (hate that phrase! It doesn't reflect that you cherish her, as much as "my wife" would / end rant) has sold her rings, then your family including the children have already sacrificed a whole lot already. To ask children to stop dreaming at Christmas is just not fair. You have to rise to the occasion, and if you're studying then you've got brains. It's time to get positive and use them. You still have enough time to turn this around.

Search out frugal gifts on the web, as well as things you can do with a computer too. Even filling a sock with little things, something to make this a special time for your children. Depending on the children and their age, you can make them a coloring book, for instance. As well, you could print out a special sign for their bedroom doors with their name on it. If you're attending a college, perhaps a woodworking prof could help you out by cutting out their names into a thin scrap of wood for them to put on their bedroom wall or door. If he agrees to do that, print out a template of their names for him to use.

I don't mean to sound harsh. I do want you to pull your socks up though and get busy to make this a special time for your family. It's time you showed them that you can do things. You have to be strong and reflect to them that all this is worth it. And maybe the children could help you to make something special for your wife. It sounds like she really deserves something.



posted on Dec, 23 2011 @ 07:29 PM
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reply to post by nerbot
 


LIttle tree we got for 20 bucks so it wouldt be totaly without Christmas in our house, we all felt it we at least had to have that. we thought we would of had something before Christmas, but it looks like the next money is coming around the end of JAN. I think we are goingt try and celibrate around then. thnks for the good wishes.



posted on Dec, 25 2011 @ 07:08 AM
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Originally posted by superjesse13132000
reply to post by nerbot
 


LIttle tree we got for 20 bucks so it wouldt be totaly without Christmas in our house, we all felt it we at least had to have that. we thought we would of had something before Christmas, but it looks like the next money is coming around the end of JAN. I think we are goingt try and celibrate around then. thnks for the good wishes.


Merry Christmas to you and your family. I hope you find joy is spending the day together.



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