WWIII with Myself.

Every day, every minute, and every second I to have to deal with my Ego. It’s like WWIII and maybe even worse at times because I cannot get away from this war. The fact that I am more conscious of it today than I was a few years back makes it an interesting battle. I have tried many things to overcome my Ego’s dominance, but that sucker just keeps popping its ugly head back up.

I will define my Ego, because I believe that most of you have to deal with your own too.

My Ego, or something that I feel is part of me, yet not part of me, something that speaks up inside of me, but mostly in a negative way. It tries to control most of my thought process, or when I am tranquil it tries to disturb the peacefulness with fear, confusion, doubt, humiliation, anger, extreme judgment, and finally chaos of any kind. Rarely does the Ego maintain a positive outlook, or even if a positive comment occurs it is met with a negative criticism sooner or later. It’s like a dog owner giving its dog a treat and praising it, only to kick it in the ass right after the positive re-enforcement.

There are many times I will just be driving along and out of nowhere my ego will pipe-up and say “if that loser digs any deeper in his nose he’ll pull his brain out”, or maybe something like “OK lady take one more step off that curb and your be on the six-o-clock news”. I think you get the picture.

Judgment of others is only one of its fine qualities, but when it starts to personally attack me it does its worst. Since my Ego knows my most intimate thoughts, and knows everything about me it can be very kind at first, but will always and I mean always turn on me. Example: “Wow you did a great job on that project, but you could have done it more efficiently.” WTF! More and More I am catching my Ego criticizing me on things it has no right to.

Now as I journey back through time, and think about when I was a child my thought process was completely different. I was more tolerant, more forgiving and much more apt to speak what was on my mind, because it was pure and criticisms of my personal self were almost nonexistent.

Some have said the Ego is there to protect us, but I feel the ego does more harm than good. And although I appreciate what I have learned from my Ego, it’s time for it to go away for good. I personally feel the Ego is responsible for most of the chaos in our world.

One of the reasons I think many of us turn to meditation, relaxation methods, dancing or any other distraction that makes us happy is to get away from our Ego’s for just a short time.

Why do we let our Ego’s control the majority of our lives? possibly lack of consciousness, or being aware? Not sure but..

I would like to replace my Ego with thoughts of constant love, unconditional love, love that good dreams are made of. Some people may laugh, scoff, and ridicule what I have just said because it’s mushy, soft, weak, and idealistic, but my reply to you is……..It’s your Ego talking, or thinking that, not the true you.

Most of us do not know who we truly are, including me. Our pure self is the true self, which I believe is unconditional love, not the negative chaotic monster we deal with on a constant basis.

I will take responsibility for my Ego, even though I have at times allowed it to influence my life in a negative way. I am diligently trying to replace ugly negative thoughts with positive loving ones, every time I become conscious of them. I thank my Ego for what I have learned from it, but now I would like it to go away forever.

A recent thread has allowed me to post my thoughts, without worrying about any negative comments that may follow, from your Ego or mine. lol!

I love you all unconditional and appreciate everything you do in this world. I know we are all from the same place and will all return there sooner or later.

My Ego just said to me…..”That’s enough about you, let’s talk about you now”

Peace and Love,
RT

Well said! I have been in a battle of my own and could not put it better!

reply to post by Realtruth


Hi there. Your post made me smile. We are alike.

I can spend half the night figuring out how to respond to a hurtful comment that I haven't even received on FB, just because my EGO tells me 'that is what they are thinking'.

I have used the healing frequency vids on Utube to aid me in clearing my mind, I concentrate on the feeling of love so that I can evoke it as a physical feeling and smile when doing so, imagine it flowing within and out of me, as light.

Sometimes I just think to myself 'well I may have a point there' accept it or deny it and break the chain of negative thought cycle.

We really are our own worse enemy sometimes.

Namaste

reply to post by Realtruth


You ever read about psychoanalysis and Sigmund Freuf?

In case you haven't what you describing is sort of touched on here...

Wikipedia but hey if your interested you can find some better sources.

en.wikipedia.org...

en.wikipedia.org...

Originally posted by Threegirls

Hi there. Your post made me smile. We are alike.

I think that is the key here we are alike and connected, so if I hurt you, I hurt myself and vice versa.

Hugs to you

RT

I will take responsibility for my Ego, even though I have at times allowed it to influence my life in a negative way. I am diligently trying to replace ugly negative thoughts with positive loving ones, every time I become conscious of them. I thank my Ego for what I have learned from it, but now I would like it to go away forever.

reply to post by Realtruth


Could it be your ego telling you this?

For me, the ego is a tool. Learn it, learn to use it and embrace it.. become a craftsman of yourself. Without your ego you would become a passive creature.

Look how everyone numbs their ego through things like drink, drugs, television etc. People turning herd-like. It's a coward's life to try and separate and distance yourself from who you are. You are the artist of your life, the ego is yours to control and guide like a paint brush. Should we allow objectivity to guide our lives? or should we be responsible for our own reason and creativity?

I image what would happen if everyone discarded their ego. There would be no individuality.. we would be organic machines, animals. Discarding your ego is merely taking that path of least resistance. People, scared to face themselves and who they are, need their ego, or they would cease to exist in their own mind. That is what I fear, not my own negativity.

What would be worse? Living among a herd of ego-less animals, or living among people who have mastered themselves?

Great post! I agree, mastering and understanding the Ego is one of most important and valuable things we can do in our lives. I drank Ayahausca once and asked the plant spirits to teach me about my Ego and how to work with it and it was one of the most amazing, interesting and unsettling nights of my life! Good luck in your continued work...

Much Peace!

Originally posted by LesMisanthrope

Could it be your ego telling you this?

For me, the ego is a tool. Learn it, learn to use it and embrace it.. become a craftsman of yourself. Without your ego you would become a passive creature.


What would be worse? Living among a herd of ego-less animals, or living among people who have mastered themselves?

Our Ego tells us almost everything we hear.

For me the Ego is also a tool, yet I wish to be done with it and the duality's associated with it.

What is Mastery of anything? Mastery is subjective to ones own ego. It's just another word used to build the Ego up. "Yes I have Mastered this or that and I am wise." see what I am driving at? Most of us are full of ourselves.

And passive is something else subjective to ones own ego. The ego telling us what is passive and what is aggressive.

Isn't acceptance of what is (duality of man) also something to strive for? Perhaps mastery does not mean overcoming (or eliminating) something that is a part of us, but by accepting it and finding balance, we find strength and peace.

reply to post by Realtruth

=There's no going back to being a kid again.

Ego is just your identity. Nobody wants to do the wrong thing. That's why they criticize themselves. But it's true that sometimes we go against our true feelings because we're afraid of being proven wrong and having our ego hurt. Nobody likes to be on the receiving end of a verbal or physical backlash. We can become too concerned with being wrong, though. We can overdo it and come to a point where we never let ourselves trust ourselves. It's hard then to relax and feel love and so on. Those were things you did when the world was a lot simpler. But it's no simpler anymore because your ego does not want to be wrong. The only other choice is simply to tune out and not even try to be right. But the world wouldn't turn if some people didn't try to be right. We can't all be buddhist monks in our shrines humming to the universal all. Sooner or later, we have to participate in the world and that means doing the -right- thing, not the wrong one.

But it's true that even a soldier needs time away from the battlefield. We need sleep too.

If things were truly infinite with no limits, we wouldn't need to fight anymore. But even a buddhist monk in his humble place must feed himself, drink, care for his body, know the basics of society, know language, and many other things. He cannot exist solely in his mind. He must fight some. Monks say that in their mind they can feel the infinite. If that could make them independent of this world, I'd agree. Or if that could put food on the table, pay the bills, and so forth.

Originally posted by LadySkadi
Isn't acceptance of what is (duality of man) also something to strive for? Perhaps mastery does not mean overcoming (or eliminating) something that is a part of us, but by accepting it and finding balance, we find strength and peace.

My point is not so much eliminating it totally because it will never happen in our current state of being, but as you say accepting it and finding a balance.

Someone said to me once "it would be interesting to see what an ego-less society would be like". I responded " just go to the graveyard".