Many of you have seen me over the years talk about how I don't believe in psychic phenomena.
I just had an experience about 90 minutes ago. I'm balling right now. Freaked out.
I've had experiences in the past. I've done my best to deny them after what happened 5 years ago.
Five years ago my brother passed away. I had psychic intuitions, extreme feelings, and a knowing that something was wrong with my little brother.
It was as if he was marked in my inner mind, and I could tell he was running out of possibilities.
I freaked out on him. I tried to alter his course. These feelings were so immense, and I did my best to attach it to the information that was
available. I tried to tell him to stop hanging around this loser. It didn't help. He was experimenting with substances. I tried to warn him.
This was about six months before he passed. He died in a car wreck. The truck flipped, and he was ejected eighty feet. I saw the experience in my
minds eye. I saw that they left him there to die, and waited to call for the ambulance. I felt his agony laying in that field. I heard him crying and
yelling for help and nobody answered.
Tonight I've had another experience, and I'm flipped out. I was going off to bed, and entered a hypnogogic state, and my whole mind and body was
pulsating. This was no regular altered state. I heard a bang as if a gunshot. I heard my ex girlfriend's voice, and she was screaming in agony. I felt
her pain, and it was immense. I think she was dying.
We had a hard breakup. I sabotaged the relationship in the end. I felt something so powerful, and couldn't explain it. It was out of my control.
Something inside me told me "danger, danger" , and I set up a situation so that she would leave, and not talk to me again.
I did similar with my little brother. I felt immensely as if something needed to be done, but I couldn't intuit what. I tried, and it ended up just
being anger directed at him, and he was confused. Well it was the same with my ex. I flipped on her, and she bailed.
I realize some of you will say I'm just stressed, sleep deprived, and feel bad for treating my girlfriend bad. All of this is true, but more is at
I'm seriously concerned that something major will happen to her within the next six months. I don't think it's an absolute, more like a high
When I first reconnected with her back in May, I saw her life flashing through her eyes. We connected, and I saw all of her previous suffering in an
instant. I saw her heart was as large as the cosmos itself. I kept having this internal notion of her screaming in rage, but thought it was past
trauma. I no longer think that's the case.
I have nothing to gain whatsoever from making any of this up. I'm a long standing member, and have talked against psychic phenomena on ATS. Well, this
was the real deal.
I'm balling, and freaked the hell out...
edit on 16-12-2011 by unityemissions because: (no reason given)