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Nearly 20% of women in the US are raped, study reveals

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posted on Dec, 16 2011 @ 11:00 AM
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This a bunch of bull. And I'm a woman, by the way. Its not possible.I don't know that many raped women. This propaganda is very dangerous, it tries to make women look weaker than they are!! It makes men, especially rapists think that its soooo easy to rape women or at least get what you want sexually by passive aggressive manipulation. This article is implying that women are such weak victims! I refuse to believe that many men are rapists. This is a attempt for, God knows what reason,to continue stereotypes and drive a deeper wedge between the sexes. More inequality. I do know a few women that were raped but most that I know have not been! I know one rape victim who has gotten stuck in the victim mode and wants to bring all other women she meets into that. For instance, she says that I don't remember that I was raped or molested when I was a kid because of trauma. She says most girls are molested as children. Well, not me. Thank God. Its sick that anyone would do that to anyone but its also pathological how much some people try to see perversion all around them to make them selves feel "not alone". I'm sorry if I offended anyone here.Some women really believe all men only want sex and have no real love or mind to share. That's not true. Its very sad that people think that way. I'm 100% against rape and any sexual harassment, I just wish people would not be extremists.




posted on Dec, 16 2011 @ 11:07 AM
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reply to post by biggmoneyme
 


Stupid, but the ultimate test.



posted on Dec, 16 2011 @ 11:09 AM
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reply to post by HappyBunny
 





You know you're asking men to wait till marriage, too. Like that's going to happen. You guys always have the option of going to a prostitute. Why should we have to suck it up and deprive ourselves?


Technically you have that option too. I'm doing ok waiting.




What about patience with YOUR will?


Who says I have a will? Like I said, I'm ok just strolling through life, succeeding career wise, and not worrying about other problems.

Simply put, sex isn't all that important.



You think waiting for marriage is going to stop rape? If anything, it'll increase the rates, not drop them. Did you not read what a poster wrote a couple of pages back, that she wasn't ready for sex and kept telling her boyfriend no, and he put his hand over her mouth and raped her anyway?


Such people get shot. Natural selection takes care of the rest. What are you telling me? That the only cure to rape is sex? Sounds sick to me. The cure to rape is a bullet to the rapist's face.

Honestly if you're a guy ad you have to do that, you ought to be shot.

Again, I have no difficulty waiting.
edit on 16-12-2011 by Gorman91 because: (no reason given)

edit on 16-12-2011 by Gorman91 because: (no reason given)

edit on 16-12-2011 by Gorman91 because: (no reason given)



posted on Dec, 16 2011 @ 11:13 AM
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Text
reply to post by PocketRevolution
 


I agree with you that women should be more forthright and less ambiguous when men are showing interest. Instead of saying "I'm busy right now" it would have been better to politely say "I'm not interested in you". The reason why a woman doesn't say that is because many women have been raised to be nice and polite and to avoid conflict. There is also the fear factor. How will he react if I tell him the truth. Will he become angry? Will he up the ante by retaliating somehow instead of letting it go? Many of the books and movies in the media are based on the age old story of the man who wants to win a woman's heart, she resists him, but he persists until he finally wins her heart and they live happily every after.

But rejection of a pursuer in reality can cause a series of frightening events.


Stalking often starts as a result of rejection; rejection rage and abandonment rage motivate the stalker to seek revenge through a predictable pattern of stalking behavior. The stalker, usually a loner and socially inept, becomes obsessed with their target and bombards them with messages, emails, gifts, or abuse. The stalking behaviour can last for years and the intensity of abuse increases over time. The abuse, initially consisting of psychological violence, often escalates and culminates in physical violence. It's a chilling statistic which reveals that 90% of women who are murdered were stalked by their ex-partner.
Text
bullyonline.org...

It's hard to tell who is going to become a stalker and who isn't.

Gavin De Becker wrote a terrific book about all of these issues. The Gift of Fear. I would highly recommend it.




“Most men fear getting laughed at or humiliated by a romantic prospect while most women fear rape and death.”
― Gavin de Becker, The Gift of Fear: Survival Signals That Protect Us from ViolenceText



posted on Dec, 16 2011 @ 11:23 AM
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reply to post by rubyeyes
 


And many, many women take it to their graves, we don't like talking about sexual or physical abuse, it happened to me at age four and my first husband was physically abusive, I didn't tell anyone until years after the abuse, you see women blame themselves, I certainly don't play the victim card, I think I am a pretty strong person, but now at age 61 I can see how the abuse colored my life, I had no idea why I was the way I was, or am the way I am.

Thank god you never experienced it, perhaps that is why you seem unsympathetic.


edit on 113131p://bFriday2011 by Stormdancer777 because: (no reason given)



posted on Dec, 16 2011 @ 11:23 AM
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From many of the replies on this thread, I can see that there are many people who want to "think the best" of others.

Sometimes, this is good. In this case, it can be bad.

There are no absolutes when discussing sexual abuse, male or female. (Edited here due to a complaint on wording, not intent.)

I am female. I will tell you some of my experiences.

I first learned of sexual abuse at the age of four. A girl in my kindergarten class had many emotional issues and had repeated the grade twice. She was taken from her family and it was found that there was extensive sexual molestation and incest in the family of ten children.

At age five, I learned that a friend of mine (who would come over to my house to play) had been used as "bait" by her [much] older sister, to draw men to their home.

At age six, I was playing with a friend of mine at recess and she casually mentioned that her cousins and uncle had been hurting her and touching her between her legs. I asked her if she would like me to go with her to tell the teacher about it. She immediately became afraid and begged me not to tell the teacher.

Ages 7-11 I heard many "rumors" of people (male and female) who were or had been abused, but nobody specifically came and told me about it.

At age 12, two girls in my class who were ostracized and shunned by other classmates, and both of whom had no mothers, told me they had been molested by their family members.


At age 13, I went to visit my great-grandmother and stay with her for a few days. One morning, over breakfast, she told me that my great-grandfather (who I had known my whole life and had recently died; they had been divorced some 40+ years) had raped her when they were young, when she had let him into the house while she was alone. As a result, she became pregnant and was forced by her family to marry him. This successful and wealthy and proud woman, aged 76, wept bitter and hopeless tears over an event that had happened at age 17. The family dynamics and the behavior of their mutual child (my grandfather) began to make a hell of a lot more sense to me.

At age 14, I learned that one of my aunts (who had suffered from mental illness my entire life) had been raped when she was a teenager and shortly after telling her family and being silenced, suffered her first bout of psychosis.

Ages 15-17 I learned of many more cases of sexual abuse among family and friends.

This is to say nothing of my own experiences, which I will not detail here.

I will say, from experience, that when a policeman is asking you if you've been hurt and the abuser is leering behind the policeman's shoulder and has told you right before the police showed up that if you said anything you would be severely beaten to the point of death (in front of the police if need be), you will lie about anything.

As a mental health nurse and counselor, I have spoken with and cared for many people of all ages who have told me of sexual abuse they experienced. Many of these people were male and had been abused by a male.

I remember the names of each and every one of these people and think of them from time to time, hoping they were able to escape the pain and heal. For some of them, I know it was never possible.

The moral of the story? It can happen to anyone.

Protect your loved ones, care for them, and listen to them without judgement.
edit on 12/16/2011 by ottobot because: (no reason given)



posted on Dec, 16 2011 @ 11:27 AM
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reply to post by ottobot
 


Thank you,




At age 12, two girls in my class who were ostracized and shunned by other classmates


Thank you, this is one reason why I believe the numbers are higher.



posted on Dec, 16 2011 @ 11:28 AM
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Originally posted by Gorman91

Technically you have that option too. I'm doing ok waiting.



What about patience with YOUR will?


Who says I have a will? Like I said, I'm ok just strolling through life, succeeding career wise, and not worrying about other problems.

Simply put, sex isn't all that important.


Good for you. But you know that most people--men and women both--don't feel that way.



Such people get shot. Natural selection takes care of the rest. What are you telling me? That the only cure to rape is sex?


That's not what I said. I said that waiting for marriage isn't going to solve the problem.


Sounds sick to me. The cure to rape is a bullet to the rapist's face.


How many women carry guns and will be able to get to them when a man that outweighs you by more than 50 pounds is holding you down?

My ex husband was 9 inches taller than me and outweighed me by 110 pounds--twice my weight. Who do you think would have won that one?



posted on Dec, 16 2011 @ 11:29 AM
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reply to post by ottobot
 



There are no absolutes, male or female.



LOL what? The assertion "there are no absolutes", is an ABSOLUTE STATEMENT.



posted on Dec, 16 2011 @ 11:31 AM
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Originally posted by peck420
reply to post by HappyBunny
 


I'm am unsure if that was sarcasm or not?

The 'study' that sparked this thread has not been peer reviewed and will not be for some time.

This was a preliminary report on year one of a multi-year study. They haven't even sorted out their citations yet (as noted on page 2 of the report (pdf pg #2 not report page #2).

I have found very few actual peer reviewed studies on either side of the issue, and maybe that is why there is a constant problem with the studies that get presented.


Well, doing science by press release sure doesn't help. You're right about that. I think part of it, too, is that the methodologies can be very subjective, so trying to evaluate two studies that asked different questions would be like comparing apples to oranges.



posted on Dec, 16 2011 @ 11:33 AM
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reply to post by NOTurTypical
 


Way to go! You can play the semantics game!

Spare me.



posted on Dec, 16 2011 @ 11:35 AM
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Originally posted by ottobot
reply to post by NOTurTypical
 


Way to go! You can play the semantics game!

Spare me.


Sorry, but the denial of absolutes is a huge fallacy of logic. It has nothing to do with semantics.



posted on Dec, 16 2011 @ 11:36 AM
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reply to post by NOTurTypical
 


Duly noted. I will edit my post since that is the only part of it that you can find issue with.



posted on Dec, 16 2011 @ 11:39 AM
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Originally posted by ollncasino

To be honest, if a women said no, I would, on the face of it, take that as meaning no.

On the other hand, most communication is non verbal (at least 70%) and I have been in one situation where the body language was clearly saying yes (in an extreme sense) while the voice was saying no.


And men are far more likely than women to suck at reading body language.


Subsequently the girl was extremely happy that I had acted on the overall message rather than the 15 to 30% that is verbal. She complained that her previous boyfriend had always stopped when she said 'stop' - much to her frustration.


He did the right thing. If she meant yes, she should have said so, not blame him for not getting it.



posted on Dec, 16 2011 @ 11:50 AM
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Originally posted by gemdog
reply to post by getreadyalready
 


I can assure you, rape victims KNOW where "the line" is drawn.


Sadly, not always, especially when it takes the form of guilt or shame or coercion by someone you care for.

See people not even all women understand what assault is, which may be why we seem to have so many different emotions from both men and women in regards to this very subject.

If someone is "talked into" doing something they don't want to it is called coercion and it is also a type of assault of which many women do not recognize.

ie: but I'll like it, but everyone is doing it, but I'll get blue balls, if you loved me you would, if you don't I will leave/not like you/find someone else who will, if you don't your a b*tch etc.

If you have woken your girlfriend, wife etc. up in the middle of the night penetrating her, you have just assaulted her. You did not give her a choice. Even if they are your wife etc. they still have a choice which you took away.

Those lines and many others are forms of coercion which is a form of assault. One which many women do not recognize.

No, I am not talking about sexual experimentation between consenting adults, I am talking about one forcing another into sexual activities which they do not want to participate in but do because they have been talked into it and guilted and shamed into it.

If you have done this to someone you have sexually assaulted them, if you have had this done to you yes it is sexual assault of the covert insidious kind. It is "covert" rape, it leaves the one raped feeling bad about themselves while not understanding why they feel bad.

For a more in depth reading on this, I suggest reading "why does he do that?" by Lundy Bancroft. He is a very intelligent writer.

Harm None
Peace



posted on Dec, 16 2011 @ 11:51 AM
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reply to post by HappyBunny
 





Good for you. But you know that most people--men and women both--don't feel that way.


Didn't say it was the only way. Just saying it's an option for the situations where rape occurs in a relationship.




That's not what I said. I said that waiting for marriage isn't going to solve the problem.


Again, would solve a portion of the problem. If nothing else, it reveals who the actual rapists are so that we can prosecute them earlier before they have multiple victims. That's dangerous because it could a moderate increase before a sudden drop. But again, it is a way to stop the most current problems this generation faces in this topic.




How many women carry guns and will be able to get to them when a man that outweighs you by more than 50 pounds is holding you down?


If the situation is going to happen, it at least increases the chances of protecting yourself. The rate will not increase from it, but it will decrease. If X amount of these situations are happening, how fewer would they be if X/2 had a gun involved.




My ex husband was 9 inches taller than me and outweighed me by 110 pounds--twice my weight. Who do you think would have won that one?


The one to get to the gun fastest. Not to be crude, but when it comes to muscles and bullets, the fasts wins, not the strongest.
edit on 16-12-2011 by Gorman91 because: (no reason given)



posted on Dec, 16 2011 @ 12:47 PM
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bull #ing #

This study is a direct result of a culture that has gone from men and women interacting as they should to overweight sensitive aholes who instead of hitting on women, defend there honor I mean leg hump the crap out of them. Add that to gay and lesbian influence and what used to be called being hit on is now unwanted sexual assault.

Rape is not being hit on it's being forced to have sex. This study makes me sick for all of the real victims.



posted on Dec, 16 2011 @ 12:58 PM
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Originally posted by amazed

Originally posted by gemdog
reply to post by getreadyalready
 


I can assure you, rape victims KNOW where "the line" is drawn.


Sadly, not always, especially when it takes the form of guilt or shame or coercion by someone you care for.

See people not even all women understand what assault is, which may be why we seem to have so many different emotions from both men and women in regards to this very subject.

If someone is "talked into" doing something they don't want to it is called coercion and it is also a type of assault of which many women do not recognize.

ie: but I'll like it, but everyone is doing it, but I'll get blue balls, if you loved me you would, if you don't I will leave/not like you/find someone else who will, if you don't your a b*tch etc.

If you have woken your girlfriend, wife etc. up in the middle of the night penetrating her, you have just assaulted her. You did not give her a choice. Even if they are your wife etc. they still have a choice which you took away.

Those lines and many others are forms of coercion which is a form of assault. One which many women do not recognize.

No, I am not talking about sexual experimentation between consenting adults, I am talking about one forcing another into sexual activities which they do not want to participate in but do because they have been talked into it and guilted and shamed into it.

If you have done this to someone you have sexually assaulted them, if you have had this done to you yes it is sexual assault of the covert insidious kind. It is "covert" rape, it leaves the one raped feeling bad about themselves while not understanding why they feel bad.

For a more in depth reading on this, I suggest reading "why does he do that?" by Lundy Bancroft. He is a very intelligent writer.

Harm None
Peace


So in essence, there's a need to convince people that they may have been assaulted by their spouse or partner when they otherwise were happy and content with the notion of sharing intimacy even though they weren't the instigator? Really? What constitutes a non-assault sexual encounter then? Two people simultaneously ditch their clothes and say "want to have sex"? Does seduction then need to be defined as "a type of sexual assault that most people don't recognize"?

Talking your partner into having sex is a normal everyday part of an intimate relationship. In some form or fashion, convincing one or the other is necessary for an intimate encounter.

Using your logic, perfume, lingerie, mood music, a romantic dinner, flowers, a massage, a wink or special smile, sweet-nothings, should all be defined as instruments of coercion and covert rape.

I agree about the penetration while sleeping thing, but if you know how bodies work, you'd know that is nearly impossible without involvement from the other. I am being careful with the language here.

This is akin to someone convincing you about that time that your mother slapped you across the face that you were the victim of child abuse. Doesn't matter that you called your mom the f-n-b words first.



posted on Dec, 16 2011 @ 12:58 PM
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reply to post by circuitsports
 


And perhaps you can supply the proof that this is how they view rape?

Last I checked rape very much so means forced sex.


Of course, if you describe what you did as merely hitting on someone, I wouldn't be surprised to see you ignorant of what rape is. What you described as is sexual assault.
edit on 16-12-2011 by Gorman91 because: (no reason given)



posted on Dec, 16 2011 @ 02:06 PM
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reply to post by Bob Sholtz
 


NO dressing like a "slut" is NOT one of the causes........ it is one of the EXCUSES which men and other women give a rapist for raping.

Stop pretending that a man does not have a choice. If he rapes NO MATTER WHAT it is his choice to cause harm to another person. He was not FORCED to do so by someone else. A man can control himself when he wants to.

Any other idea is just crazy talk and trying to confuse the issue. Stop pretending that a rapist does not have a choice. Men are not brainless sex gadgets who once turned on can't be turned off until the battery dies, they are human beings who make choices.

I hold men to a much higher standard of respect than the theory that a woman is at fault for a man raping her because of what she wore, or how she walked or talked or how much she drank.

Those of you giving rapist excuses for their actions are a rapists best friend.

It is mind boggling to me how many of you have I seen in other threads telling people to take personal responsibility, but in the realm of sexual assault how easily you jump on the bandwagon of giving personal responsibility to another party. I guess it depends on the scenario for you guys. If a guy rapes someone, he made a personal CHOICE to harm another person, NO MATTER what that other person wore, or how much they drank, or how they walked and talked, the rapist made a choice.

In regards to false allegations, I am sure they happen, I don't make the claim that it never happens. I do wonder though how many of these "false allegations" end up being women who have been raped, who just can't handle the craziness of trying to take her rapist to trial and in the end choose to walk away saying "oops I made a mistake it didn't happen", when it did, she just can't deal with being blamed for something someone did TO her.

@primus2012... I was not talking "seduction" nor was I talking about consenting adults experimenting, I believe I made that statement and I think you may know that. Reread my post which you quoted in full, I suspect you may not have fully read the whole thing. Seduction, which can be extremely fun for both parties, and coercion are not the same thing. Are you so upset because you use the techniques which I described? Intimacy and coercion are not the same thing. Intimacy and sex are not the same thing either.

and... YEP... I fully know how human bodies work in the realm you are speaking... and I know that a woman can be penetrated when she does not want to be penetrated... even when she is asleep! What is it you think rape is about? If sexual encounters took place only when both parties wanted it to, rape wouldn't be a factor now would it?

Imagine this scenario.... she worked two jobs that day and is exhausted.... she wants only to go to sleep, he wants sex. She says no I am exhausted and I need sleep. He badgers her, but I'm horny, if you loved me you would, if you weren't such a cold fish, I'll find someone else who will then, if you don't you are a b*tch, I just want to make love with you, what is wrong with you that you can't handle that, it's normal everyone is doing it, and on and on... still she says no and goes to sleep... hours later she is woken by him penetrating her... he has used KY to make the job easier. She has no bruises, she is not bleeding, she wasn't beaten up. After he cuddles her and tells her how much he loves her and if she wasn't so damn sexy he wouldn't have woken her up like that so it was all her fault for being sexy. Was she just raped? YES she was! Does she realize that? Nope, she doesn't, she knows she feels bad, she knows something is not quite right, but thinks it is all her fault. He has convinced her that what she is... is wrong and he is right. Even though she said NO, he took what he wanted anyway, he just raped her.

If badgering your partner into having sex with you is a daily occurrence, I DEFINITELY recommend you read the book I suggested. Talking about sex, or asking for sex, is not the same as badgering, nor is it the same as using guilt, or fear, or shame, or emotional abuse to get your way. If you have a healthy intimate relationship, that is not the same as what I was trying to share.

Harm None
Peace



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