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When Did You Realize You Were Different?

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posted on Dec, 14 2011 @ 07:04 PM
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Thanks all for your responses. Its important for us to be able to share certain things that we may not be able to discuss with most.

Peace, NRE.




posted on Dec, 14 2011 @ 07:23 PM
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Originally posted by unworldly
The most interesting thing I notice, time and time again, about others who claim to be unique and different, is that they're all so... common and unremarkable.


Actually, I am about to sound really arrogant and conceded, I have bi-polar, dysgraphia, and scored in the 99th percentile on a real IQ test(real as in not online). This, among many strange as well as extremely fortunate experiences in my life, has made me uniquer-than-normal imo. I know a lot of people, a lot of strange people, but rarely I meet my brand of pleasantly near insanity. The only person who I met who truly "got" me was the girlfriend before my last, she also had a history of treatment and therapy like myself for her own reasons. I know everyone is unique and different, but there are some random people who are really #in different, and recognized as such by their peers.



posted on Dec, 14 2011 @ 07:56 PM
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I always saw myself as the same as everyone around me, generally speaking. In fact, until the last decade or so, I was probably less aware of anything than most of the people around me. In 2003, at age 47, I had to finally own up to the fact that my way of handling life in general was chaotic and - in many instances - absolutely dangerous, for me and for those around me. If not, then I was probably going to spin out for good. After all, you can only be a blind high-wire act for a limited time. There's no retiring from that kind of life style. A wild and treacherous middle age man isn't like a wild and treacherous young man. There's nothing sexy about being old and animal-crazy.

I was encouraged to look into counseling, and when I say "encouraged", what I mean is it was an ultimatum and nothing less. So, I allowed it, and we (me and the shrink) discovered a couple physical mental disorders that - when combined - was causing a unique blend of behavioral tendencies, due to how my own mind is structured. The two disorders were OCD (heavy on the compulsion and light on the obsession) and ADD (inattentive, not ADHD) and the impact was a near complete disconnect with the world around me and any concern about anyone else in my life.

I was referred to a Psychiatrist for a deeper examination, and he immediately saw the same thing that the therapist saw. He prescribed Adderall for the ADD and Luvox for the OCD, and that was when the big change started for me. It's been a completely different life ever since.

Now, it seems as if this meds cocktail has launched extreme mental activity that I would never have expected. Not only that, but the transformation seems to have caught the attention of someone or something (either actual or possibly latent within my own sub-conscious) that sees a value in leveraging this hyper-activity by working to focus it in what I have to admit is a very unexpected direction. In fact, it's been a bit unnerving at times.

So, I know how completely unexceptional I am, but I also know that the Adderall and the Luvox have had a bitch of an impact on how my mind works and what it sees as overwhelmingly important. Ten years ago, I was wrapping up a respectable music career and looking into writing short stories - maybe a novel. After writing 3 books and getting some traction in that direction, what were once tiny itches about the obvious shortcomings inherent in the traditional secular and nonsecular narratives progressively erupted into something that's full blown and witheringly comprehensive. And I can't even feel as if I have any connection with its authorship. Hell, I have no background in any of this, beyond using decades of experience with Tarot Cards to get laid from time to time.

I don't think I'm different than anyone. The people that have known me for years think I'm very different than I was, and most everyone can't really make heads or tails out of any of this. And when the paranormal sh*t fires off around me - as it does a bit too often lately - those closest to me have to really wonder what's going on.



posted on Dec, 14 2011 @ 08:02 PM
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reply to post by NoRegretsEver
 


When I realized I could count to potato.

But I guess the thing that sets me apart the most is my need to *make it*. Be that in work, survival or anything else I do. I've always "fit in", people who meet me always like hanging out with me. I get along with almost everyone and everything. However I have a deep drive to seek solitude and to look for something. I don't exactly know what that "something" is, but I believe it to be a place. I get goosebumps even writing about it.

Anyone else have an extreme feeling that they're looking for something? Especially a place?



posted on Dec, 14 2011 @ 08:03 PM
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There is something about certain people and many that have this type of significance that are afraid to see themselves as special, or different.

We usually begin noticing things when having conversations, and hearing lots of, "wow, I dont think I could have dont that", or "most people would not survive that". It just seemed like my life, was some sort of "believe it or not" series, and I didn't see it.

When I starting replaying things in my life is when most people were curious on how I did things, when in my mind is was first nature. Actually I started backing away from most people because I thought that people were trying to play games with me.

Even now I still stay to myself pretty much, but I do feel comfortable here on ATS. This wasn't to make those that felt different as superior, and those that didn't notice it, or haven't experienced it to feel down or bad. But I also dont feel that those with similar qualities, or experiences, should be prevented from telling their stories because a few people felt out of place.

Peace, NRE.



posted on Dec, 14 2011 @ 11:15 PM
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I realized how different I was from everyone else while I was in grade school. I had an insatiable need for knowledge, but what I was getting from school wasn't really doing it for me. Then, I discovered my local library. While all the other kids I knew went to the children's section, I was spending my time in the adult non-fiction room. I studied religion, psychology, medicine, you name it.

By 8th grade, I had a small library of non-fiction in the bottom of my locker. I would select a book to study during my study hall and work on homework like a mad child so that I had time to study my "extra-curriculars". The study hall teacher was in awe of me and checked to see what my latest interest was each week.

I continue on in my endless quest for knowledge. I come here to read about new ideas and new topics. I feel like I actually belong. In my regular life, I have learned to "dumb down", so I don't seem too odd to others. When I show the real me, they usually look at me like I came from a far off planet.



posted on Dec, 15 2011 @ 02:25 AM
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reply to post by Frontkjemper
 


Man i get this feeling as well like a force pulling me and my body just wants to up and run at full speed but i have no clue where it wants me to go, some times its stronger than other i shake hard for it.



posted on Dec, 15 2011 @ 02:35 AM
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Call me a late developer - but I was always uncomfortable in school, even though I was top brainbox.

I am still uncomfortable - sad eh!

But I have only known I was different recently.



posted on Dec, 15 2011 @ 02:38 AM
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Well, guys,

It is so uncomfortable in this world.

I guess we are here to save humans - wow, I feel strange saying that, but it is my conviction.



posted on Dec, 15 2011 @ 03:11 AM
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When I was 6 years old I left the church and my whole family followed me 1 by 1.
After the milk and cookies and sunday school I moved up to the big boys church with all the adults. The big church had a lot of confusing terminology, but even as a little child I could tell that I was being given instructions with restrictions.
Why my family followed me I do not know. Each person had a reason of sorts, but it seemed more like excuses to me. At the age of 6 I did not know what a hypocrite was, but I did know that when people told me one thing and they did something else did not seem to make sense.
At the age of 8 years old is when I found a friend whose parents had different philosophies on the planet earth itself. This perspective about nature is what made me look at myself and understand I was very different from my family and most the other people I knew.
At this young age I found myself to watch other people more then joining them in the nonsensical things that took most of their time. In my later years, I found looking back at that time is when I first was being visited by an "elder" that educated me in ways of manifestation by intentional thoughts.
So that was it, I knew I was different somewhere between the ages of 6 and 8 years old.



posted on Dec, 15 2011 @ 03:15 AM
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reply to post by NoRegretsEver
 
Hello, I have been waiting for you. I know what puzzles and disturbs you. Please detail some experience and I will show you what I know. I am glad I found you. I know this sounds impersonal but we need to talk.



posted on Dec, 15 2011 @ 03:20 AM
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reply to post by titzycronulla
 


What do you know titzy we would all like to know too.



posted on Dec, 15 2011 @ 03:23 AM
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I could write the very same story. One of the problems many face is making others feel inadequate just for being different, questioning, asking to know the truth.



posted on Dec, 15 2011 @ 03:23 AM
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reply to post by titzycronulla
 


Hi, tit,

I need to know because I am with you.



posted on Dec, 15 2011 @ 03:25 AM
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reply to post by catwhoknowsplusone
 


What do you need to know cat?



posted on Dec, 15 2011 @ 03:33 AM
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Originally posted by yourmaker
I was like 11 at church and randomly came to the conclusion that none of what they were telling me was possible.
it was Sunday School.


Much the same for me. I always asked lots of questions in school and catechism. "How is that possible?" "How do you know?"

So many other people would just accept it without asking or questioning. I demanded an explanation but never got more than the "because it says so." And, so I brushed it off as rubbish. Same was true in the classrooms in school, asking lots of questions. It was definitely not something most kids did. I caught some flak for that, but I did well in school. So while I wasn't cool, I did better than most people.

Same is true today. Still ask a lot of questions. It's almost instinctive to me I guess. Question everything, always.



posted on Dec, 15 2011 @ 03:39 AM
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Originally posted by Komaratzi11 In my regular life, I have learned to "dumb down", so I don't seem too odd to others. When I show the real me, they usually look at me like I came from a far off planet.


Yes, because through the media we all grow up with, they have made it fashionable to be a typical brainless consumer who just likes to play, have fun, and go shopping.

"What are books? Is that, like, Pokemon cards?"

It's amazing we still have as many very intelligent people in America today.



posted on Dec, 15 2011 @ 03:40 AM
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reply to post by subtopia
 


I need to know the truth about tit.

Because I am right there.



posted on Dec, 15 2011 @ 03:45 AM
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reply to post by NoRegretsEver
 

When we are not fully grown up it is quite common to feel we are 'different' or 'special' in some way. It's especially common amongst young teens. However, if this feeling continues into adulthood, it's a mark of delusional thinking - arrogance even.
For a spot of philosophy try 'We are all unique yet we are not unique'.
Maybe we need a thread 'When did you realise you were NOT different?'.

edit on 15-12-2011 by starchild10 because: (no reason given)



posted on Dec, 15 2011 @ 03:59 AM
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I hate making myself feel un-intelligent, and selfish.. But here i go.

I had a rough time growing up.. Never had a father, and i dropped out of school 2 years earlier. I have taken sat tests and know my IQ is above average as well. Yet i cant help having this feeling that no one understands me?.. im 22 right now, and ever since i turned 20 i feel like everything i see, and everything i do is because i want it to be this way. Im so confused and question this reality we live in on a daily basis. I feel almost as if this is a world i created for myself. I live on a day to day basis, and it will continue to be so untill i see fit.

It makes me feel unbelievably selfish to think im at the center, because i know im no different then the person next door. Yet i cant get over this feeling that there's more to being me, being alive, why im here.. I know im different, but i just cant seem to figure this out...

Am i the only person who feels this way? Please don't be upset at the things i've said.. I don't mean any harm by what i have said.. I just can't figure out.. why i feel different...

Thank you, and i apologize if anything i said offends anyone...




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