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When Did You Realize You Were Different?

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posted on Dec, 14 2011 @ 04:21 PM
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When did you realize that you were different from everyone else? Was it as a child, or when you were grown up? What were you told that made you realize that there was something special about you, and you felt that you had a void that needed to be filled with everything knowledgeable?

I never thought that I was different growing up. I knew that my circumstances of me choosing to be on my own, away from home was different, but I always felt like I was going to be ok, even when I wasn't.

I had an instinct that kept me out of far more dangerous situations then I could have found myself in.

When I was young and still lived in my home, we went to church. I never wanted to be in Sunday school. I felt like it was to childish. I would here the preacher speak, and sometimes I was talking with him, as we were reading a script and we both had identical papers.

I participated in everything that the adults were required to do, even fast when I was about 7. Though I was taken from my home at 10, I still went to church. Different churches, but they all seemed the same, like there was no chosen denomination, just church.

Many transitions happened during my teenage years, but I always followed my instincts. Until one day, I felt like something was wrong, but I ignored it. I had a terrible accident, and when I thought about it later, I actually saw my choice in slow motion, and noticed from the outside where I went wrong.

I began to question my instincts afterward, which made things spiral down for a long period of time.

I have always had what some would consider the gift of gab. Which has made somethings easy, as I knew how to communicate quite well, and it was very easy for me, and people always felt comfortable telling me anything, especially strangers.

I never thought of any of those things and situations that I found myself in, and the strangeness of things that I have seen in my life, until I began to research about 5 years ago.

One page lead to a book, that lead to a video, that lead to forums, and eventually lead me to ATS.

Its hard to discuss things like this as many people do not like others to think that they are special. It seems egotistical, and selfish, but in fact there are some people out there that have questions, and feelings, and notions that others do not.

Feelings about things wayyy outside the box, that cannot be explained. Connections, coincidences, and some straight out crazy things that happen in a persons life, that can cause them to feel this way.

Sometimes because it seems weird I stay quite, or I research with one of my closest friends who sometimes makes me feel weirder then I already think some things are, but it does help me to connect some of the dots.

I guess thats why many of my threads are more personal then technical. I seem to have a need for personal responses as I feel that no matter the subject it can tell you more about a story, then anything technical can.

Erasing some of the stigma that I am alone, or that there aren't others out there with similar stories, and just a fear to share is the reason for this.

Ive seen people that claimed to be possessed, lived temporarily in a home that now after some research I realized there was some sort of voodoo being preformed there, been in the middle of 3 different times I should have died, and with amazing forethought got away, and recently I have had a feeling of connection with people then ever before.

So for those out there that know that there is something you might not be able to put your finger on, your not alone, and you can share here if you choose. Recently I have had this feeling of personal venting, and I am glad for having this outlet on ATS!

Peace, NRE.




posted on Dec, 14 2011 @ 04:26 PM
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I was like 11 at church and randomly came to the conclusion that none of what they were telling me was possible.
it was Sunday School. they were talking about Noah's ark, hell and the devil like it was all real, and I knew something was wrong with it all. My child bs meter was shooting through the roof. My grandma was and still is a devout Christian with some serious beliefs, and she tried to indoctrinate me and my sister with it, all the time. I never questioned it until that day when it hit me that none of it was real. Noah's ark and Adam and Eve, was what did it for me though.
from then on, I thought I was different because I could see reality for what it was and not what everyone thought it was.

sorry you christians, this is the truth.



posted on Dec, 14 2011 @ 04:27 PM
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reply to post by NoRegretsEver
 


I always dreamed as a kid about what could be different.

Guess it opened my eyes to an alternative veiw on things.



posted on Dec, 14 2011 @ 04:27 PM
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I think I am in the same boat as you, whatever that is. I've always done my own thing and not really cared to conform, and I am always thinking about stuff that nobody around me seems to. I do have trouble communicating with people, but I am usually quite good at conveying ideas and technical processes to others. I've also been told that I am a good listener. I have also felt multiple times like I have avoided injury or misfortune with peculiarly good timing. Also, in the preschool I went to we had to go to some kind of religious service and I remember interpreting it all as a story filled with wisdom, not the outright truth.

So yeah, I think I know exactly what you are talking about


edit on 14-12-2011 by Mkoll because: (no reason given)



posted on Dec, 14 2011 @ 04:31 PM
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I knew I was different when I grew a 2nd row of teeth.
) I can eat some steak, let me tell you what lol im not joking either look up supernumerary teeth


 
Posted Via ATS Mobile: m.abovetopsecret.com
 



posted on Dec, 14 2011 @ 04:33 PM
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i have vivid memories of when i was a young child....toddler...having visions of a giant green being dreaming me and i knew then that things weren't what the humans told me.

my mother and her father knew i was different when i was in the womb.



posted on Dec, 14 2011 @ 04:35 PM
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We were doing work for our Wednesday night Bible class thingie. One of the questions asked for an interpretation of this verse:

Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not charity, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal.

Several adults tried to. Church leaders' wives who worked in the office were brought in. None of them could do it. Then I thought of the fact that the sound a cymbal makes or sounding brass makes...is hollow. My interpretation was that one could speak in the tongues of angels and men, but without love, those words were just hollow.

Whether it was right or not, I at least came up with something when the adults couldn't.

I was ten years old when I did this. That was when I realized that there was something different about me.



posted on Dec, 14 2011 @ 04:35 PM
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I noticed today i feel like the only way to say it would be a alien on my home planet, I was speaking with my friend who i always chat to he thinks i am fully mental but its more than that i can feel it like a force in me wanting to escape.



posted on Dec, 14 2011 @ 04:43 PM
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reply to post by NoRegretsEver
 


Great thread noregrets. It reminds me of something I wanted to start titled "You know you are a conspiracy theorist when..." ...You ask the questions everyone else is afraid to ask. You trust your instincts over advice from your friends...stuff like that.
I am not as sure that I am so different as I am that so many are all the same.



posted on Dec, 14 2011 @ 04:55 PM
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reply to post by Rawzee
 


the word different is not appropriate, u r meaning superior not different

superior to ur suroundings, superior skills, why do avoid that word?

anything is by definition different even to the concept of thing so imagine anyone how different it is, when anything is the concept of one

everyone is superior at a point, bc truth is absolute superiority so any existing truly point is superior to all

stop fearing or avoiding those words superiority and truth, they are the first step to mean any as it is the last

then u would see how what u said without meaning it is exactly what im saying

u r different in the sense that u r different one as another one but then another one is absolute superior one sense



posted on Dec, 14 2011 @ 04:57 PM
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reply to post by NoRegretsEver
 


It all started for me as a kid, I was always a very sensitive child but at one point I've realized that my sensitivity was not towards my own pain but towards the pain of others as well. My empathy as a child observing others abusing others and causing them pain was so intense that I always knew it was morally wrong.

Thanks for this thread OP, for reminding myself that and for having people and threads like you in this great community. S&F.

edit on 14-12-2011 by Shuye because: (no reason given)



posted on Dec, 14 2011 @ 05:03 PM
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"Feelings about things wayyy outside the box, that cannot be explained. Connections, coincidences, and some straight out crazy things that happen in a persons life, that can cause them to feel this way."
THAT

Anyway, I was weirdo since I was young. It was actually quite stubborn and rebellious as a child, I complained that (and I quote my young self) "these darn teachers aren't teachin us anything" since first grade. While that is not completely true as I did do a lot of learning, I refused to buy into the system as a child.

Also, I went to a Catholic school. While I am spiritual now, by the time I got to 8th grade I was a hard-core atheist. I remember hearing about 9/11 (happened when I was 9) and Muslims. Even then the whole "they attacked us because they hate our freedom" did not make sense to me. As I got older, what really got my gears turning was the fact that there are so many loyal followers of multiple different religions around the world, and they are all sure they are right. I saw the hard-core-religious fanatics at my school and church and I realized the only reason I believed it all was because everyone around me did. I also realized that it works the same way in all religions, so around 8th grade I decided to say "screw it, I am not going to believe this until I learn about other religions etc"...

After that I began to listening to Immortal Technique. I probably wouldn't be on these forums today if it wasn't for Tech. Also, during my phase an atheist, I was kinda depressed and anti-social. I didn't really care about what everyone else did. I never liked sports for example. During the rest of high school I spent a lot of time on the computer, from posting on forums, to learning about online marketing(I have now written a course on online marketing from my experience, it's self published on my own website). Bottom line was, I wanted to be independent.

My first of two senior years is when I developed my spirituality as well as a social life. Over that year and in the next one I got into a lot of trouble with my newly earned internet money, I will not over the details of that.

edit- Also during this time I got into studying and practicing OOBEs, Astral projection, and lucid dreaming.

Since then I have also gotten the opportunity to travel to some really cool places as well as do community service there. Including Morocco(a Muslim country), South Africa, and Mozambique. I met people there who were suffering REAL poverty(like TV commercial status), and when I said "met" them I mean actually spending time with them and talking, not just looking at them from a safe distance lol. That really "woke" me up and made me realize how #ed the global dynamic was. I also had the opportunity to meet real revolutionaries in SA that fought against the apartheid, people who fought in the Mozambique civil war which just ended in 92, as well as real modern revolutionaries in Morocco who told us about having some of their friends killed even in recent years by the gov there.

Besides that, I have ALWAYS wanted to learn more about "WHAT is reality" "WHAT makes us selfaware" "basically WTF is going here?" - because I feel like these questions are not truly answered and many go through life accepting incomplete answers, and answers I indeed got.

Trinity: I know why you're here, Neo. I know what you've been doing... why you hardly sleep, why you live alone, and why night after night, you sit by your computer. You're looking for him. I know because I was once looking for the same thing. And when he found me, he told me I wasn't really looking for him. I was looking for an answer. It's the question that drives us, Neo. It's the question that brought you here. You know the question, just as I did.
Neo: What is the Matrix?
Trinity: The answer is out there, Neo, and it's looking for you, and it will find you if you want it to.

edit, just some weird experiences I thought I'd ad- also when I was a wee little boy, when I would goto bead to fall asleep I would see weird things like florescent mist and crap like that in my room. Also when I was in about 3rd grade, I woke up and saw some sort of angelic-luminescent-being near my bed, I sat up in my bed and had a weird feeling that it was all OK, so I went back to bed and didn't think "WTF?" until the next morning. Just a few years ago, I and two friends, all sober, saw some weird morphing balls of energy over the Chesapeake Bay .
edit on 14-12-2011 by CREAM because: (no reason given)



posted on Dec, 14 2011 @ 05:11 PM
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reply to post by NoRegretsEver
 


I knew I was different, or became cognizant of it, when I was 6, and had the flash of insight that life was going to being an uphill battle from that point on, and as I aged and learned more, the less I would enjoy my stay here. I had similar insights, like reminders, at 8, 10. I knew since others did not think this, or thought the opposite perhaps, that I was different in that way I guess. Not sure how to describe it, really.

After about 10, I knew for sure I was not cut from the same cloth as 99% of people. Nothing specific triggered it, it was just an intuition.

"Normal" is definitely not something I strive for, either.

Honestly Im not sure how I knew.... I think everyone knows they are different to some degree, but I imagine it is those of us who are radically different than the average joe that can really sense it early on, if not consciously, than subconsciously.
edit on 12/14/2011 by CaticusMaximus because: (no reason given)



posted on Dec, 14 2011 @ 05:14 PM
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reply to post by NoRegretsEver
 


I like threads like this too. You can be personal and annonymous at the same time. Everyone needs to vent from time to time, but not everyone is comfortable doing it face to face. I never did have the gift of gab. I always was the quiet one growing up. Watching and not participating. I used to vent my feelings on paper with lyrics and poetry starting at around age 15. Something about the process of writing gave me, and still does to this day, a sense of control that I normally don't have.

To answer your original question though, it was about the 4th or 5th grade. My peers started to "move away" from me so to speak. I slowly started to not fit in, and for the life of me I didn't know why. I was basically turning into the kind of person that the genes of my parents were dictating. And at that age, if you're not turning out to be like everyone else, you're going to get shunned. I used to think it was the part of Indiana that I grew up in, but that's not it. It's just a part of our nature I think to gravitate towards people who are like us. My parents were, nicely put, an odd couple. It was a union that, as hard as it is to say, should never have been. He was a computer wiz for the government, an extremely intelligent man, a violent alcoholic, and at the time of their meeting was firmly on his way down because of his alcoholism. She was socially inept, having only been out of the Amish community for 5 or 6 years, and was totally at a loss on how to handle a situation like the one she was in. Because of the personalities and characteristics of my parents and my being a direct result of that combination, I was born to not fit in anywhere. Think about it. The 5 or so years between when I was 10 and when I started writing were very frustrating for me. I was realizing I was different somehow, didn't know why, and didn't have an outlet for those feelings. I never knew my dad so there was no advice there, and all the advice my mom ever gave me was "trust God".

I immersed myself in music at about that time. Elton John was the first one that caught my attention. Levon I think it was. I don't know which captivated me the most....the music or the lyrics, but I think I spent more time reading the words to the songs than actually listening to the music. That's why, back then, I looked to Bernie Taupin as kind of my surrogate father. The song "Friends" really struck a chord with me. It was the kind of advice that I really needed in regards to women that I coudn't get anywhere else.

I guess if there's a point to this it would be that when you do realize that you're different, find something positive to latch onto. You may not know how or why you're different, but if you have something positive in your life.....anything, that YOU put there yourself, it will help you get through the rough years of trying to understand yourself and the world you live in. For me it was the words of Bernie Taupin. For you it might be someting else. The important thing is to find something that works for you and stick with it no matter what other people might think.




youtu.be...



posted on Dec, 14 2011 @ 05:21 PM
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reply to post by Taupin Desciple
 


Thanks for the video. I never heard it before, but definitely one of the most beautiful songs Ive heard, and the scenes in the video were beautiful, thank you so much for sharing that


Peace, NRE.



posted on Dec, 14 2011 @ 05:25 PM
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I used to think that.

Then I thought I was just being an ass.

Im no different from the poorest, dirtiest, most friendless, homeless soul - to the richest and brightest.

I think all humans have equal value - and deserve such.



posted on Dec, 14 2011 @ 05:36 PM
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reply to post by NoRegretsEver
 


You're welcome


I guess that's why I'm a sucker for the romantic songs. They're the first ones that caught my attention.






posted on Dec, 14 2011 @ 05:38 PM
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Originally posted by CaticusMaximus

I think everyone knows they are different to some degree,


Bingo! Because they are!

We may have been born into this world, but we're not part of it. That's why it's not permanent.



posted on Dec, 14 2011 @ 05:44 PM
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reply to post by NoRegretsEver
 


Sometimes it's best not to take ourselves too seriously. Everybody's 'different' and just as well - can you imagine the homogeneous hell we'd be living in if we were all the same?




posted on Dec, 14 2011 @ 05:52 PM
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The most interesting thing I notice, time and time again, about others who claim to be unique and different, is that they're all so... common and unremarkable.



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