Damnit, I was so looking forward to the following Colbert Reports and Daily Shows
What a clown
I have to admit, the GOP presidential candidates sure deliver this time:
1) Cain: Quotes from the Pokemon movie. I mean, you can't make this stuff up...AWESOME!!
2) Bachmann: Loooooook into the camera, and smile for having one of the highest "liar" scores on
If she opens her mouth, and you bet $1000 every single time in favor
of her lying, you will win around 75% of the time.
3) Romney: "Corporations are people my friend!" Nothing else to add, he's a bought sock puppet.
4) Newt: Wants to build a moon base to get those precious minerals (like in the James Bond movie), wants to use giant mirrors to light up land at
night (also from a Bond movie), twitters the candy brand that pays him $1.5m, and switches wives every so often (an offence which only counts against
you if you're name is Cane apparently). Also, according to him, all Palestinians and people form the Middle East (except for Israelis ofc) are
terrorists. Yay, more wars if he gets elected.
5) Perry: Who on earth goes jogging with a gun strapped on??? Also, if you're gay, don't dare supporting your country by risking your life fighting in
6) Santorum: Google it!!
7) Ron Paul: One of only 2 who makes at least some sense part of the time. Sadly, the media pretend he's invisible, so his chances of actually winning
are pretty much zero.
8) Huntsman: Used to be the only truly reasonable candidate who actually cared about facts...until he too denounced proper science to please the
And of course there's Obama, who is the number 2 sock puppet of Wall Street after Geithner.
Take your pick, you'll lose either way I'm afraid. On the plus side, at least we'll be entertained with Pokemon movie quotes and similar "fun" stuff.
At least that way, you won't have to face the harsh reality...for example, the reality that BofA alone made all US taxpayers liable for $75 trillion
(not a typo!) of their risky derivatives bets. Over night, and no, it's not illegal. You can thank those who watered down the Dodd-Frank act for
that...remember, the very thing the GOP claims "regulates the banks to death"
edit on 13-12-2011 by MrXYZ because: (no reason given)