The Plumber

I wanted to write something. Write something that would maybe put some of this craziness in perspective.

Mods, I honestly feel that this belongs here, but will nod to your discretion.

I present to you, The Plumber.

(raise curtain)

Scene 1 Act 1

ME: I've got a leaky faucet. I'd like for you to take care of it. I'll pay you to take care of my leaky faucet.

THE PLUMBER: No problem. The only thing I want to do is fix your leaky faucet. I'll fix it and get out. No problems, you have my word, it's a promise!


Scene 1 Act 2
(1 month later)
ME: Um, my faucet still leaks. You said you'd have it fixed by now. What's up?

THE PLUMBER: I'm so sorry. I ran into a little problem and had to hire someone at the main office to take care of the dynamics of this leaky faucet issue. It'll cost more, but it'll be well worth it.

ME: Um, it's a leaky faucet. Couldn't you just fix it?

THE PLUMBER: hahahahahaha, you can't just FIX a faucet! Silly person! You need to first study why it is leaking, when it is leaking, where it is leaking, if it wants to leak, if it needs to leak, if it has a rght to leak!

ME: Errrr. . . . okay. But you still promise to fix the leak, right?

THE PLUMBER: Oh, absolutely! I'm promise that I'll fix that leak!

Scene 2 Act 3
(two months later)

ME: Um. . . I tried to fix something and I can't find my wrenches. Did you take them?

THE PLUMBER: Absolutely.

ME: Why? They were my wrenches I needed in case I wanted to fix something myself!

THE PLUMBER: You don't need wrenches anymore. I'm here. You might have hurt yourself trying to fix something. I care. I care about everyone in your house. That's why I took your wrenches.

ME: Just fix the faucet!

Scene 2 Act 4
(4 months later)

ME: Um, Mr. Plumber? Why are there a group of people in my livingroom?

THE PLUMBER: I needed to take over your livingroom, place some people who know water, pipes, drainage, to help me in fixing your leaky faucet.

ME: But it's my livingroom. I'm paying you!

THE PLUMBER: You're paying me to take care of you. I can't just fix your sink and leave. We need to monitor if your faucet stays fixed, how much you use it, when you use it, why you use it. Plus we want to teach your children how to use it the way we want it to be used.

ME: I'm using my sink.

THE PLUMBER: But it's not fixed yet! What are you going to do?

ME: Make a pot of tea.

Lower curtain.

Enjoy, ctiticize, throw roses.

Great piece, and not far from the truth.
If people do not know what to do they tend to present the problem as more complex.
Then they start being "professional" and the bills really go up.
This of course without better results.
But you will get a nice "copy-past" report.
For this extra service you also have to pay extra.
Then you start reading the report and you notice the first thing is a disclaimer statement.LOL

reply to post by Pokoia
Thanks for the reply. I was trying to make an analogy towards the presidency and government though.

reply to post by beezzer


Absolutely genius...loved it!

Pretty much sums it up and my 11 year old daughter would understand it...awesome!

reply to post by beezzer



As soon as I got to Scene 1 Act 2 I knew exactly what you were trying to say. Def loved it.

Originally posted by jerryznv
reply to post by beezzer

 

Absolutely genius...loved it!

Pretty much sums it up and my 11 year old daughter would understand it...awesome!

Thanks, glad you appreciated it.

reply to post by MRF227


Thanks. I'm glad people are able to see what I'm trying to say.

Beezer always enjoy your threads and responses. Did I detect a bit of sarcasm in there? Wonderful analogy well done.S&F.

Beezer. That was great

But you do know that it will go right over the bama zombies heads.

Then they are going to say its not the same(eventhough it is).

All the same, good analogy.

Originally posted by lonegurkha
Beezer always enjoy your threads and responses. Did I detect a bit of sarcasm in there? Wonderful analogy well done.S&F.

Always appreciate the comments. Glad you enjoyed it!

Originally posted by Common Good
Beezer. That was great

But you do know that it will go right over the bama zombies heads.

Then they are going to say its not the same(eventhough it is).

All the same, good analogy.

I'm waiting for some critics. Though I do appreciate the positive responses.

Awesome, but you forgot to add that the initial price quoted to you was $100 and it has now ballooned to $10 mill plus. All those people in your living room don't work for free!

Originally posted by Maluhia
Awesome, but you forgot to add that the initial price quoted to you was $100 and it has now ballooned to $10 mill plus. All those people in your living room don't work for free!

Good point!
Just having those people might create a. . . . . deficit!

Originally posted by Pokoia
Great piece, and not far from the truth.
If people do not know what to do they tend to present the problem as more complex.
Then they start being "professional" and the bills really go up.
This of course without better results.
But you will get a nice "copy-past" report.
For this extra service you also have to pay extra.
Then you start reading the report and you notice the first thing is a disclaimer statement.LOL

Geez "hopey-changey" much?
(Let me clarify that :By that I mean: You must have alot of "faith" in the effectiveness of big govt to have missed the obvious "parallels"?)

It was obviously an alusion to "big govt"-style "problem solving"...
Perfectly clear here ; well done "beeze".

Problem is, many folks bought the first piece of crap cheapeast faucet they saw.
These are throw aways.
If you had a better model, better built model, it could have been repaired.
But something tells me, you are not exactly speaking of faucets.
It is ok, my logic can be applied to most anything, try it out.

Originally posted by g146541
Problem is, many folks bought the first piece of crap cheapeast faucet they saw.
These are throw aways.
If you had a better model, better built model, it could have been repaired.
But something tells me, you are not exactly speaking of faucets.
It is ok, my logic can be applied to most anything, try it out.

A faucet is a faucet.

There will always be "leaks" and damage. Even to the nicest ones.

It's not the faucet people need to worry about. In my mind it is the repairman and the type of "bill" he presents at the end.

reply to post by beezzer


Dear beezzer,

Does the character "ME" seem a little simple-minded, trusting, and passive to you? I suppose that was intentional.

I can't imagine how you'll get anything but roses for this piece of work.

AAGGGGHHHH! I feel a spasm in my fingers:

"If you hadn't wasted so much water through that faucet, it would have lasted longer. We'll have to put a flow regulator on it. It won't cost much and you'll be using a more sustainable amount of water in the future."

"Did you know that 27.38% of the American people llive more than 6.39 miles away from healty, wholesome plumbing? That's right, they live in plumbing deserts. By adding this little bit to your bill we can start to fix that."

"The workers at the pumping station are not unionized, they have to labor for sub-standard wages. We're sure you want to help out those suffering people so we added this line to your bill."

Whheewwww! I've managed to stop my fingers, but something tells me there is a lot more where that came from.

With respect,
Charles1952

reply to post by beezzer


Stop buying faucets made in China man and explained how Government works

This country has been circling the drain for decades now.

or they bought the faucet without being able to afford it and put it on some ridiculous credit card with stupid terms that you didnt read...

reply to post by 46ACE


Just look at government or companies that hire a big software firm to change something minor.
Magically it stops being minor.