Investment Banker Embarrassing Email Lands On Reddit, Goes Viral

Oh wow - this poor neurotic fellow...
I got this as an email earlier and decided to search for a story.
I almost (ALMOST) feel for this guy...He might just be a little unstable.

Stalking an ex is never attractive. No matter how much money you have. But for one New York investment banker, he couldn't seem to take the hint. It all started when L

Here's the opening...

Hi Lauren,

I'm disappointed in you. I'm disappointed that I haven't gotten a response to my voicemail and text messages. FYI, I suggest that you keep in mind that emails sound more impersonal, harsher, and are easier to misinterpret than in-person or phone communication. After all, people can't see someone's body language or tone of voice in an email. I'm not trying to be harsh, patronizing, or insulting in this email. I'm honest and direct by nature, and I'm going to be that way in this email. By the way, I did a google search, so that's how I came across your email.

Another part I found sort of comical (including the mention of Trump and Soros):

You already knew what I looked like before our date. Perhaps, you're unimpressed that I manage my family’s investments and my own investments. Perhaps, you don’t think I have a "real" job. Well, I’ve done very well as an investment manager. I've made my parents several millions of dollars.

That's real money. That's not monopoly money. In my opinion, if I make real money, it's a real job. Donald Trump's children work for his company. Do they have "real" jobs? I think so. George Soros's sons help manage their family investments. Do they have "real" jobs? I think so. In addition, I’m both a right-brain and left-brain man, given that I’m both an investment manager and a philosopher/writer.

haha - So, what say you ATS...

Is he a helpless romantic or a crazy stalker type?

Read the full letter and the rest of the article HERE

So all that it requires to have a "real job" is that you "make money"?

Interesting.

I suppose that means drug dealing, selling illegal weapons, stealing cars or breaking into homes, or working for terrorist organizations are real jobs as long as you get paid?

Also from the perspective of any welfare recipient or homeless guy on the street getting coins put in his cup, those are 'real jobs' too because they got paid now didn't they?


Why yes, that one was easy to twist.

reply to post by muzzleflash


Always the rational reply

His entire outlook is warped.

Too bad we don't spend more energy on promoting "honest jobs" rather than whatever this "real job" thing is.

You know how hard it is to find an honest job these days? Most places actually require you to lie, cheat, and steal as part of the job, and also to sign 'non-disclosure agreements', and other dishonest things like this.

It's actually rather disconcerting for anyone who wants to sleep well at night and still pay the rent.

Hmm Thinking someone set him up on a REAL blind date...

So the blind date didnt cut it... I guess having millions of dollars is a great conversation peice. He mentions it quite often. Guess it did nothing about his personality..... or his looks.

Oh my gosh! What a head case! Sounds like the woman was smart to run as far as she could from such a neurotic control freak. EVERYONE wants to know, at least at one point in their life, why someone never called when the date went well from their perspective. But get over it, Dude! LOL!

I do feel KIND of bad for him, in terms of general human-to-human sympathy but I would be totally spooked to read that kind of email. I was the recipient of an email similar to that back in 2001 but fortunately it wasn't as verbose. Nor did it include bullet points like this banker's email. What a nut!

The guy has to be mortified. He reminds me of that one video floating around (a few years old). It had a man leaving voice mails on a woman's machine and was pretty hostile. It was very similar to this letter about why she wouldn't return his calls and he went on and on about what a great catch he was. lol

reply to post by freakjive


Wow scary guy!
I don't know how much money he has but he should invest some on a psychiatrist. The guy is obviously sick and needs to move on. I think it's hilarious this woman went public with this email.

Originally posted by AshleyD
It was very similar to this letter about why she wouldn't return his calls and he went on and on about what a great catch he was. lol

I remember hearing some recordings similar to this. I find it funny they don't wake up to their own insanity while in the midst....sure maybe one voicemail but after a few... SCARY!!

He is gonna end up being an accessory to suicide.

If that girl has to listen to his conceited drivel any more she is heading for a warm bathtub and a razor blade lol.

Its funny when they hit someone they cant buy and sell.

Here we go! I found the video. Listen to it and it will remind you of the email. It gets worse and worse in succession. haha

Originally posted by AshleyD

Here we go! I found the video. Listen to it and it will remind you of the email. It gets worse and worse in succession. haha

Hahaha! Awesome!

Thanks for the very welcome addition -

reply to post by AshleyD


Holy cow. What gets into people's heads that would ever make them think that it is normal to pass a message like those along to someone in which you are interested.
Imagine being so caught up in yourself that it would be unheard of for someone else not to be interested, and in the chance that they are not interested then it is their psychological disorder interfering with a rational decision.
Or maybe both of these guys moms told them they were special and they deserve someone other than the inanimate rubber doll that always has that look of shock on its face