Well, I started going with a new guy and he wants me off of ATS

do what you want. we are all going to learn one way or another. i guess i am lucky to have a girlfriend who understands my habits as i understand hers..i go on ATS, she goes on her online role playing site. we both share what the other does from time to time and its rather nice. in the end you shouldn't have to change what makes you happy. someone, especially a significant other should respect what you enjoy. true happiness isn't edited.
but edit your life as you see fit...find out what it is you need.

yep. hate so say it but once he is done changing you you will hate him and not even recognize who the hell you really are. These control issues happen both ways but usually the defective person is still about 14 mentally in an adult body.

reply to post by Partygirl


Honestly from experience if a guy or even a girl can't accept your likes and hobbies I don't think he/she has any right to judge what you do. If he does it out of concern I can see that very easily and maybe you giving up ATS is a good thing but yeah... I wouldn't do it if it was me. I've been down that road with controling grandparents and friends and even my own mother and right down to some long distance bfs so yeah. Anyway ATS does and I am sure its appropriate for such a site have a lot of creepy and weird people in it. "ME" for example who was never been able to get a bf or gf in real life because people don't like my weirdness and can't accept me for me. Even those who "DO" accept or try to I have to rebuke because they are controling people. I am not saying your descion is right or wrong, and honestly I can't judge you based on your motives of quiting or giving ATS a break but I think you and him need to come to a compromise. If he can't accept what you do... maybe you should leave the relationship. But if he is concerned... ((For one thing having your name on the net "IS" dangerous but sometimes if it is just your first name its not a big deal.)) I would say listen and agree to not posting your name on the net. I would also agree to give him more of your time then on ATS. "After all some of us will always be here." But yeah... thats just my two cents ect. Have a good day / life and don't forget who your friends are "ANYWHERE."

I poked at and joked with her, but I didnt take her for a weak willed whiner very typical of this generation of women.. scream feminism but roll over, beg, sit, and speak when it comes to a man. Guess I was wrong PG, grow up and get control of yourself. You cant allow others to control you and then whine about it later.

Personally, Id ASK him why he objected to it and then check myself to see if his observations were correct. If they were Id cut down time.. if not, Id tell him to GTFO and find a robot somewhere else. I certainly wouldnt make a thread for sympathy and attention.

As for the guy... who cares. Maybe he doesnt like the time she is spending on here, which is a lot. If he feels that way he has every right and is allowed to make a request. Its HER that has the option to not be with a guy who wants more of her time or not. Its not his "bad" for asking, voicing his opinion, or explaining his observations from his own perspective.. its hers for not telling the guy honestly what she wants and setting some parameters in the relationship by countering his requests. Ahhh already the deception begins right off the bat in this relationship. More to come How is it when women choose and comply with men like this everyone is down on the man? ROFL!! SHE chose and SHE complied.

As for her Avatar, most of us already knew it wasnt her. Maybe he sees her insecurity and true motives for posting some hot girl to be known as... and pass herself off as for attention from the males on here. “Oh what a tangled web we weave, When first we practice to deceive”

Well 16 hours a day on ATS does affect the relationship.

Try trolling. It's quicker, you don't become paranoid, you become rational again, you can laugh at others and what you once were and it's way more fun .

Remember that book Fahrenheit 451 and Clarisse McClellan. She views the world in her own way and we don't know why but just seems to disappear. Most likely taken away from the world she loves.

This reminds me of your situation. You're on this site for a reason, you must enjoy it. Now someone is taking control of the way you want to view the world.

Anyway if this guy is the one then good luck. I just hope you don't regret your decision.

its been months since i have been on this site...for awhile i was living on here and honestly i was getting a little crazy...my girlfriend hated my time on here cuz i was giving ats more attention to this than her...then i got a job stopped with ats completely and our relationship is now better and im not such a whack job...this site can take u over if u let it but it is still nice to run across it from time to time...less is more

Partygirl and I were in Japan at the same time during the quake. I've kept an eye on her ever since.

Best wishes to you if you are reading this and good luck with your new fellow.

Originally posted by DAZ21
Remember that book Fahrenheit 451 and Clarisse McClellan. She views the world in her own way and we don't know why but just seems to disappear. Most likely taken away from the world she loves.

This reminds me of your situation. You're on this site for a reason, you must enjoy it. Now someone is taking control of the way you want to view the world.

Anyway if this guy is the one then good luck. I just hope you don't regret your decision.

I think it's really interesting that you mention Clairesse McClellan.

Especially because of this thread.

I call BS. Tell him to f off.

If he's already telling you what you can, cannot do then there's a problem. Agreeing to stop posting isn't compromising, it's being controlled. If posting on ATS is a deal breaker....then that is sad and pathetic. Doesn't sound like you share the same ideals at all.

Bad,bad,bad,bad,bad......

Oh GIRL.
NO.
NO NO NO.

This board was a part of your life before him, and it will be a part of your life after him because I guarantee this is going nowhere. It is one thing for my HUSBAND to roll his eyes when I say "OH MY GOD (insert news headline) this is how it all starts!" but it is a whole different story for a new boyfriend to tell you to stop posting all together.

He doesn't like the people on these boards? Then he lives in a bubble where he is happily asleep and it is probably best that HE not get on these boards. You my friend can do whatever you please, and to hell with anyone that doesn't like it.

One of my favorite things to live by
Your approval is neither DESIRED nor REQUIRED.

Stick up for your interests, if you continue to cave to his whims he will certainly lose respect for you. You might be surprised by that. I've been on one conspiracy board or another since I met my husband, and we have gone through a few spells of "Why do you read that stuff?". Each and every time I simply reply with "Because it's interesting and I like it" and that is that. Eventually he started reading over my shoulder sometimes, and now asks me "What's going on in conspiracy world today?" almost every single day. He really caught it when I was at his best friend's house and met him for the first time, he was into conspiracies too (which my husband never mentioned) and we went on and on and on about this or that for hours. When we were leaving I said "You never told me this about him!! We are already family!" and he has not said anything since.

Stick to your guns girl, it is much more attractive than saying "Whatever you want..." and you will always be happy.

Originally posted by Vardoger
I call BS. Tell him to f off.

If he's already telling you what you can, cannot do then there's a problem. Agreeing to stop posting isn't compromising, it's being controlled. If posting on ATS is a deal breaker....then that is sad and pathetic. Doesn't sound like you share the same ideals at all.

Bad,bad,bad,bad,bad......

Perhaps this is an issue about control from another perspective..??

Is she really telling us the whole truth? We have not heard her new BF's side to this story.. ?

Is there really a new boyfriend.. or is some fishing expedition for someone she has a"crush" on on ATS..she has mentioned this crush a few times..

Sorry.. but my gut tells me there is more than what has been shared.. and I'm not sure for what motivations either.

reply to post by Partygirl


Today ats. Tomorrow nail color. Next tme hairstyle. Eventually where you go and who with.

Dump him.

I second what Destiny1 said. I wish you all the happiness, but just be careful. Is he giving up anything as well? The internet can get in the way of life, and if you really like him, maybe it's good to take a break and spend some time getting to know him. Just make sure it's not one sided. Best of luck sugar! Love, Kat

reply to post by gabby2011


That's entirely possible and without any other information it's hard to comment on, other than if it is just fishing then I'm not impressed. However, if the OP is the truth then my opinion still stands.

Had a girlfriend try and get me off this site once... Sure you can all guess how that worked out... Seeing as i'm still posting here almost daily a year later. My thirst for knowledge out weighs my relationship needs. Would rather forge my own path through life than be with someone who I can't relate to and thinks my ideas and thoughts are crazy...

An idea for the mods... There should be a dating section here, or atleast somewhere singles could talk. Seen some avatar pictures of some very beautiful women here. I'm sure some are just that an avatar. But finding someone who I could relate to would be invaluable. Make a requirement to post on the singles form you have to have a picture of you as your avatar. Just a thought.

And in order to get to know this real new guy you start a thread on a conspiracy website to ANNOUNCE your new findings from him in front of an audience that will unjustifiably and unfairly give him lots of HEAT and DISRESPECT, even though no f*** here has even met him online much less in the real world!!!!!

Yo my man! If you are reading this, drive and don't stop until gasoline runs out because this party girl just layed your TRUST up for debate in a conspiracy site.

I bet he could be real angry if he knew about this violation.

If you're going to agree to those demands, you better make sure he doesn't ever look at porn...

Good luck. I've been married 23 years and can't imagine telling my wife what web forums she can participate in. My advice? RUN AWAY NOW! Ted Bundy was also a really nice guy with a bit of a control problem.

Originally posted by Partygirl
I met somebody new this summer but we didn't get together until this weekend. I like him a lot.

We share a lot of the same values and I have been very picky about men. This is the first BF I've had in 3 years ! I'm taking it slow but I'm happy.

One thing is, though, he thought my ATS habit was "creepy." He kept asking me "why do you spend so much time on that creepy board" and yesterday he asked me to stop posting here, because he doesnt "like the kind of people who hang out on those places." He also said my avatar was "inappropriate" and I shouldnt put my real name here (which I have done before).

Well I think its a little unreasonable but I like him a lot so I am going to try to comply with his wishes for a while. I told him he can't control what I read online, he doesn't have that right, but in the interests of compromise I will stop posting for a while. I thought about it and I think that's fair.

So I am going to take a little break for a while, ATS. You have been a lot of fun for me and i think a lot of you are my real friends. But I'm going to stop for a while and see how it goes. Later I might come back. If not, I want to thank you for a really interesting time. I learned a lot and I will miss you.

Partygirl,

Logging off and going dark for now.

Girl, I spent 12 yrs in Utah so I know what you're up against. I would say don't let anyone tell you what to do or who to be, but that's a rare case in "the church." LDS men are generally controlling and a woman has her place. Be strong. Be happy. Find someone else.