posted on Sep, 6 2004 @ 09:00 PM
Last time I critiqued it was for a pizzaphile who ended up being banned from this website.
I think your goals are achievable and stated succinctly and with enough passion around them.
I might want to define a little better the concept of "maximizing" your education. What follows illustrates that, but a personal statement of what
that word means in your opening would be beneficial. Does it help maximize your contribution to career and life - or do you simply mean that you will
be chasing all those extracurricular opportunities?
I would state a little about where you have come from to date as a simple bridge into what you want to achieve next and the connection between them. A
proven track record to achieve success in the style of academic program you are embarking upon and a goal to maintain or improve that record would
impress upon the reader too.