Kids say the darnest things

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posted on Apr, 11 2003 @ 06:41 PM
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Here is a email that i thought i would share with the rest of you.

>3-year-old Reese: " Our father, who does art in Heaven, Harold is his name.
>Amen."
> >---------------------------------------------------------------------------
>------
> >A little boy was overheard praying: "Lord, if you can't make me a better
>boy, don't worry about it. I'm having a real good time like I am."
> >---------------------------------------------------------------------------
>--------
> >A Sunday school class was studying the Ten Commandments. They were ready to
>discuss the last one. The teacher asked if anyone could tell her what it
>was. Susie raised her hand, stood tall, and quoted, "Thou shall not take the
>covers off the neighbors wife."
> >---------------------------------------------------------------------------
>--------
> >After the christening of his baby brother in church, Jason sobbed all the
>way home in the back seat of the car. His father asked him three times what
>was wrong. Finally the boy replied, "that preacher said he wanted us brought
>up in a Christian home, and I wanted to stay with you guys."
> >---------------------------------------------------------------------------
>---------
> >I had been teaching my 3-year-old daughter, Caitlin, the Lord's Prayer for
>several evenings at bedtime, she would repeat after me the lines from the
>prayer. Finally she decided to go solo. I listened with pride as she
>carefully enunciated each word, right up to the end of the prayer: "Lead us
>not into temptation," she prayed, "But deliver us from some E-Mail. Amen."
> >---------------------------------------------------------------------------
>---------
> >....and one particular 4-year-old prayed, "And forgive us our trash baskets
>as we forgive those who put trash in our baskets."
> >---------------------------------------------------------------------------
>---------
> >A Sunday teacher asked her children, as they were on the way to Church
>service, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in Church?" One bright little
>girl replied, "Because people are sleeping."
> >---------------------------------------------------------------------------
>---------
> >A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin 5, and Ryan 3. The boys
>began to argue over who would get the 1st pancake. The mother saw the
>opportunity for a moral lesson. "If Jesus were sitting here, he would say ,
>Let my brother have the first pancake, I can wait." Kevin turned to his
>younger brother and said, "Ryan you be Jesus."
> >---------------------------------------------------------------------------
>--------
> >A young mother invited some people to dinner. At the table, she turned to
>her 6-year-old daughter and said, "Would you like to say the blessing?" "I
>wouldn't know what to say," the girl replied. "Just say what you hear mommy
>say." The daughter bowed her head and said, "Lord, why on earth did I invite
>all these people to dinner?"
> >---------------------------------------------------------------------------
>--------
> >A father was at the beach with his children when his 4-year-old son ran up
>to him, grabbed his hand, and led him to shore, where a seagull lay dead in
>the sand. "Daddy, what happened to him?" the son asked. "He died and went to
>heaven" the dad replied. The boy thought for a moment and then said, "Did
>God throw him back?"
>
>
>
>Lawrence C. Johnson




posted on Apr, 11 2003 @ 06:56 PM
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Thats a very cute and funny list aloe.
. Kids do say thr darndest things I guess.



posted on Apr, 11 2003 @ 07:04 PM
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They are very funny!
Reminds me of the TV show with Bill Cosby and Art Linkletter I think his name was.



posted on Apr, 12 2003 @ 07:54 AM
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Kids Ideas About Love:

A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds, What does love mean? The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined. See what you think?

When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love. -Rebecca - age 8

When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You know that your name is safe in their mouth. -Billy age 4

Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other. -Karl Roberts age 5

Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French-fries without making them give you any of theirs. -Chrissy age 6

Love is what makes you smile when you're tired. -Terri - age 4

Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK. -Danny age 7

Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss -Emily age 8

Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen, -Bobby age 7

If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate. -Nikka age 6

Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday. -Noelle age 7

Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well. -Tommy age 6

During my piano recital, I was on a stage and scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore, -Cindy age 8

My mommy loves me more than anybody. You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night. -Clare Age 6

Love is when mommy gives daddy the best piece of chicken. -Elaine age 5

Love is when mommy sees daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford. -Chris age 7

Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day. -Becky age 3

I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones. -Lauren age 4

I let my big sister pick on me because my Mom says she only picks on me because she loves me. So I pick on my baby sister because I love her. -Bethany age 4

When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you. -Karen age 7

Love is when mommy sees daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross. -Mark age 6

You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget, -Jessica age 8

A first-grade teacher collected well-known proverbs. She gave each child in her class the first half of a proverb and asked them to come up with the remainder of the proverb. Their insight may surprise you.

Better to be safe than...punch a 5th grader.

Never underestimate the power of...termites.

You can lead a horse to water but...how?

Don't bite the hand that...looks dirty.

No news is... impossible.

A miss is as good as a... Mr.

You can't teach an old dog new... math.

If you lie down with dogs, you'll... stink in the morning.

Love all, trust... me.

The pen is mightier than the... pigs.

An idle mind is... the best way to relax.

Where there's smoke there's... pollution.

A penny saved is... not much.

Don't put off till tomorrow what...you put on to go to bed.

Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and... you have to blow your nose.

None are so blind as... Stevie Wonder.

Children should be seen and not... spanked or grounded.

If at first you don't succeed... get new batteries.

You get out of something what you... see pictured on the box.

When the blind leadeth the blind... get out of the way.





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