Little Miss Muffy [WTB], page 1

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Topic started on 5-12-2011 @ 03:53 PM by tabularasa

I awoke one morning just days ago
Feeling strange in a certain place
I looked in the mirror and what do you know..
Something had left their trace

A bit of pain accompanied the mark
One that was familiar to me
A small spider had visited me during the dark
Took a small nip and left silently..

But looking closer, the mark was a heart
And it laid just above mine own..
So while being bit on the bosom by a spider sure smarts
At least there was a bit of love shown..

If I ever cross paths with the amorous arachnid
I will thank him sweetly for his calling card
And pat him gently on the head for what he did...
About 20 times .... til the little prick dies hard...

Signed,
Muffy the Arachnid Slayer

reply posted on 5-12-2011 @ 07:22 PM by Druid42

SnF.

No doubt a take on the old Little Miss Muffet story. Very clever and humorous.

I can tell you don't like spiders, are female, and that the sucker is dead now, aye?

reply posted on 5-12-2011 @ 08:04 PM by tabularasa

Thanks Druid42 !

Aye, not a fan of spiders..
Aye, female
Aye, that sucker is toast. kaput. fin. done. extinguished. no longer in this realm. dead.

edit on 5-12-2011 by tabularasa because: (no reason given)

reply posted on 5-12-2011 @ 08:15 PM by FortAnthem

reply to post by tabularasa

As I was reading this I was thinking "What a sappy piece of sentimental bullcrap".

Then, I got to the end and laughed my but off. Well done.

I don't care how romantic a little spider bite may seem, those evil looking suckers need to die a horrible death.

reply posted on 5-12-2011 @ 09:34 PM by tabularasa

reply to post by FortAnthem

Glad you stuck around past the treacle, then...

I totally agree. Some of the spiders by me are huge, fast and eeek... brown recluse.. (Have to find a paper bag to breathe into just with the mere mention...) So I tend to walk softly and carry a big rolled-up newspaper.

Within two days of me moving into my new house, I stomped on a spider that had a funny white lump on its back. So guess what the lump was? A spider sack.. Awesome. Seemingly hundreds of them started running in different directions.. Never knew I could scream like that.

reply posted on 5-12-2011 @ 09:54 PM by Druid42

Originally posted by tabularasa
reply to post by FortAnthem

A spider sack.. Awesome. Seemingly hundreds of them started running in different directions.. Never knew I could scream like that.

Actually it was thousands. Just think if you didn't squash it, and they all hatched!

Honestly, after giving you the heebee-jeebies, here's the truth:

In autumn months, garden spiders lay their eggs in silken sacs that contain between 50 and several hundred eggs. The garden spider's egg sac is relatively spherical, although one end is narrower than the other. Covered in brown-colored silk, they are strong enough to withstand winds and attacks from most predators.

Sorry for preying on your arachnophobia, giggle, as spiders are actually very beneficial to us in many ways. They eat insect pests. They mind their own business.

They are NOT cute and cuddly. Neither am I, but you tolerate me. Spiders have their function. I'm not getting one for a pet, but I do respect their purpose.

reply posted on 6-12-2011 @ 07:09 AM by tabularasa

Originally posted by Druid42

Actually it was thousands. Just think if you didn't squash it, and they all hatched!

*gulp*..

Its realllllyy harrrd tooo ttyppe wit my head betweeen myy kkknees while breeathing innto a pppapper bagg...

Originally posted by Druid42They are NOT cute and cuddly. Neither am I, but you tolerate me. Spiders have their function. I'm not getting one for a pet, but I do respect their purpose.

Very true.. I do appreciate their purpose and have respect for them as well.. I even put one on my Christmas Tree - well, it's made out of beads.. (legend of the Christmas Spider).. On any given day I can look out my window and see the food chain in action.. The spiders indoors do the same, keeping the house free from bugs.

But they still scare the bejesus outta me.

reply posted on 6-12-2011 @ 05:17 PM by argentus

reply to post by tabularasa

Nonspider. Ceased to exist. Crossed the web of dreams. Spun into mush. Well done! Very entertaining and well-crafted prose. I really liked the hook at the end.

reply posted on 7-12-2011 @ 06:47 AM by tabularasa

reply to post by argentus

Thank you kindly, argentus.. It was crawling around my head for a while. Time to give it legs..

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