A tribute to my old friend...

There was a sign I saw not too long ago.... God, let me be the person my dog thinks I am.... I have to chuckle at the fact it doesn't say cat, since to some cats we're their pets! I recently got Priestess... several years after my last friend's passing. I got her not long after mom died, and its nearly scary how close she acts like her! Who knows... but she sleeps in the bed next to me, even though she's not a cuddlekitty. She doesn't like to be picked up either, but won't pass a good opportunity to be petted and adored. She is always a bit aloof, cool, and can put on quite an act of being uninterested.... until you leave the room, and you can hear her cutting up and spazing out like a kitten when no one's looking!
I'm also the mother of a white toy poodle someone dumped on my doorstep, but she's my disabled son's partner in crime. She isn't yappy or snippy like most of those furry little paper shredders, in fact, she's the sweetest most loveable fuzzball! Where ever my son is, she's right there with him. Even though I was worried that he would accidently hurt her, she knows how to get out of his way when she needs to. A friend is getting ready to give me a puppy.... a pitbull, no less. Now, before you think she's going to be bad, I've known her mother since she was 6 weeks old, and she's calm, sweet, and just as gentle and loving as you could ever imagine. This one has the wrist bones missing in her left forepaw, so her nickname is Hopalong for now. She'll fit right in here, I think. Its not easy, but think of the times your dear friends made you laugh, because that is the sound they love to hear most! (even the cats, believe it or not)

reply to post by volafox


Haha, I can totally relate! I have had cats previously and I know how it is like you are their pet, but I know they love you just as much deep down by the affection they show when getting attention (or food).

Wow it sounds like you have a great family and an awesome life! It sounds like your son has great a bond with the 'fluff ball', seems like they're made for one another.

I would never assume any dog to be bad just from their breed. I believe any dog has the ability to be a lovely, affectionate animal given the right care, training and most of all, love.

They thrive off happiness, to which I believe you have plentiful.

I am still in a 'dis-belief' state at the moment. I'm still expecting Toby to thump my bedroom door open with his head and plonk himself down on the bed and crash out. I always laughed at him when he was dreaming and making little barking noises whilst moving his paws.

Cherish every moment!!

All the best!

Mike

reply to post by Shuzitzu


I'm so sorry about Toby.

It is hard to cope with loss, I know, but you will pull through. Trust me.

I have sub'd so I can watch your tribute video after work.

Best wishes.

s&f

reply to post by SilentE


Thank you SilentE, I know things will improve, its just hard to imagine life without him at the minute. Little things you remember when he used to fetch you the mail and be so proud of himself for doing so. Coming home and not having him greet you at the door and bring you one of his toys as a welcome present. He always knew how to make people feel welcome and even got those who were afraid of dogs to feel comfortable around him.

I appreciate your subscription and thank you for watching the video in advance.

All these kind words are amazing and a great help, thank you all so much.

What a beautiful tribute to your precious friend. I bet he is playing beneath tall trees and sunlight over the rainbow bridge. I have had to put down many pets throughout the years and it is never easy. We have our memories and love for always. I am sure you are grateful for all the years of laughter and love shared with your dear friend. HUGS!

reply to post by Night Star


Thank you Night Star, I am so proud of him and the life we shared together, I know I could never portray that fully in a video but making it has helped to come to terms with the loss. I feel I can let him go now but I will never forget those times or those memories.

He was the best... I can't thank him enough.

Thank you Night Star. Toby loved running through the forests and jumping in the streams, you couldn't keep him out of the water.

Place your favorite pics of him around the house. Perhaps plant something in his honour in the Spring. Maybe place a smal angel statue outside. Sometimes these little things make a big difference in the loss of our pets.

reply to post by Shuzitzu


I remembered a conversation in the chatroom at rainbowbridge and I wanted to share it with you.

The gentleman joined the room - he told us he was a vet and had just had to put down his beautiful dog. The man was heartbroken - he was trained to save animals and there was nothing he could do - his friend for many many years. He told us that the first night without his dog - he was soooo filed with grief that he slept in his bed - the dogs bed.

I immediately told him that was beautiful and I bet you slept deeply and peacefully. I also suggested he do whatever felt right and I think he waited a while and then adopted another dog. Guess I am sharing this with you so that realise that whatever is right for you - will help. Did Toby have a blanket or a special spot? I buried my Woosti where she used to sit every afternoon - it is also the spot where I have my last memory of her as well and happy and beautiful as she went down fast.

I am crying again - for you - for me - for the animals - they just get a hold on your heart.

Much Peace...

reply to post by Night Star and Amanda5


I have lit candles for him and I will get some photos of him put up in black and white remembering him for who he was. It does help. I am having a really hard time coming to terms with it, just had a breakdown calling his name and begging anyone who's up there to let me see him one last time or to give me a sign that he is okay...

I know only time will heal and I think I will probably get another soon, the only thing holding me back is still that if he is looking down on me I wouldn't want him to think I was replacing him. I know it sounds silly but thats how I feel... I can't help it.

My deepest thanks to both of you for your support, this is really helping me, every time I feel like I'm going to breakdown again I come and check for updates on here are read all of the wonderful supportive comments which help me through.

He does have this spot on the stairs where he always used to wait for me when he was ready for bed (he slept upstairs the spoilt git :lol, and I usually end up on that spot with my face to the floor crying. I feel comforted by knowing he was only just sat there a few days ago. Just like the vet in your storey Amanda5

I guess I'm just looking for a way to feel close to him again, because he just feels so far away.

Again thank you both for everything.

Oh that just breaks my heart!! Dogs are so special and they do become a part of the family which makes it even more difficult when their time is up in this world.

It will take a lot of time and the best advice I could give is:

Give yourself time. Implement another routine and smile when you think of him as he is still with you, so I believe.

I too had to put mine down (got her when I was just 10 too) and after 16 years she also developed a tumor. My parents cried for a week and I just felt so much relief for her that my tears were minimal. She lived a long life and brought a lot of joy to us.

In time you will get another dog and some of the things he/she does will remind you of Toby....his memory will always be in your heart. ((((HUGS)))

A nice tribute mate. It goes to show just how much a pet can really mean to somebody. Hope you are coping well.

I have lost many pets over the years, mainly Guinea Pigs and Goldfish. But i dread the day when my dog dies as the house won't be the same, i have had it since i was 5 years old and i'm now 23 which makes her 18 but it could be 19, we can't remember, it seems like she is going to outlive us all which i know won't be true but she has had, as they say, a very good innings, better than most dogs i think. She doesn't really go for walks anymore as shes a bit lazy and we think she has arthritis, she prefers to sit on the sofa next to my mum now a days.

Lots of love for the great pets out there

reply to post by Shuzitzu


If you really want to see Toby you will.

It had been a few days and my grief was still raw. I sat down on the lounge and I swear I saw Woosti walk - she had this lionine swagger - she took maybe two/three steps - exactly where she would when she was here. I realised later that I was at my worst point - other things happening in my life and having her die in my arms was soul destroying.

It wasn't like I wanted to see her or was asking - my longing was sooooo strong and I wanted my friend back and I was in so much pain - she just appeared. I had glimpsed her a few times but this was more than a second it was as vivid as if she was still here. I know that at that point in time - I felt no pain - for that brief interlude - I was okay.

I still have her photograph propped up against the fruit bowl on the kitchen bench. Animals give us so much and when they die its a huge pull on the heart. It does get easier but I know what you feeling - sit on the steps where Toby sat - grab a pillow and wrap yourself up and sleep there - whatever is right for you - it's okay.

I'm bawling again - I am so empathetic sometimes but I would rather feel pain than be the other way. I hope you visited the rainbowbridge website - I don't go anymore but it was a Godsend while I needed it.

Much Peace...

Reply to post by MamaJ:

You are absolutely right; they are a part of the family. It feels like I have lost a little brother, he was someone I felt I could protect from anything and I feel as though I have failed him along with mixed emotions about everything... Do I feel glad that he's now out of pain, do I feel sad because he's not here, do I rejoice his new jounrey and smile... etc.

I guess I feel all of those things. I believe that is a good thing to do, give myself time to develop a new routine and smile when I think of him. That's all I can do really.

Thankyou for sharing your similar story of loss, I'm sorry if it brought back old pain. I feel honoured and I know there are many others in the same boat but sometimes its good to be told that your not alone in your pain. Even though I wish others weren't having to experience it.

I believe I will get another dog in time, but I will never forget Toby as you say and I will always have many photos and memories to reflect upon and praise our life together.


Reply to post by ThorsBrother:

Thank you buddy! Thank you for watching. Wow, 18-19 years old, she really is having her good innings! All I can say is cherish every moment you have left with her.

From what you say, she is a very lucky thing and a well loved, well looked after friend. It really helps hearing about the love for other animals. Kinda makes me feel 'okay' about showing my emotions.

I am normally very strong minded and can tolerate a lot of rubbish in life, but I always knew Toby was my soft spot. He was and still is my pride and joy.. no-one can replace that.

Thank you for sharing ThorsBrother, and when the day finally comes where you must say goodbye to your old gal, I'm always here for a chat and will help you in anyway I can.


Reply to post by Amanda5:

I know exactly what you mean Amanda5. I have had signs from my Grandfather, just little things which only you could put the link to. He passed away a few years back now whilst I was in College and I went through a really bad time. I never had a father in my life so he took on the role... he wasn't even blood related, he married into the family as I was born. He took me in as his own son. Losing him was so hard but Toby got me through those very dark times.

I guess that's another reason why I'm taking this so hard, its bringing back all of the feelings I had whilst I lost my Grandfather. Toby and him also had a connection, a bond, a friendship. I know Toby felt the loss and changed when he went, but we both changed for the better by being there for one another.

Wow, that must've been comforting having that sign from Woosti. I am still waiting and looking forward to mine. I believe it will come, Toby has never let me down.

My deepest sympathies for your pain, I can still see it is not any easier. Having someone you love die in your arms is soul destroying, but we must remain strong, for them.

Thankyou for sharing Amanda5, I am in complete awe at your strength through your hardship. I will take your advice on board most certainly.



I can't thank everyone enough for sharing your thoughts and feelings with me. They truly have been a godsend in these times for me.

Kindest regards to all,

Mike

Toby knows how much he is loved and won't feel like you are replacing him at all. No one could ever take his place. I truly believe he knows this. With so many homeless dogs desperately in need of love and a home, I think getting another dog would be helpful in so many ways.

Every pet I have ever owned was adored and cherished. They are like people who each have their own personalities. We love each of them for who they are. Toby wouldn't want you to suffer and to be so sad. There is another dog out there somewhere who is just waiting to fill your life with special moments and lots of love and appeciation. You can take your time and grieve if you need to. I just know that you will give another pet a chance when you are ready.

I have so many amazing memories of special cats I have shared my life with. One was a gorgeous male himalayan who lived to be 19. Some were very smart, some very comical, all very sweet and loving. Most were rescues.

I have a rescue now who is a persian and deaf. She was so terrified of everyone and everything when we first got her, now she is the most loving and sweetest cat ever. My turtle is a rescue too. Love that boy!

reply to post by Shuzitzu


Just watched your video.

Very good

Touching.

It made me reminisce about my pets that have pasted away so for that I say thank you.

I hope that his passing will not get you down for too long.

Peace.

I feel your loss as I am still reeling from loosing my best friend of almost 15 yrs.

Your tribute is beautiful and so are the many responses from other members. It has helped me come to grips with the hole in my heart and my soul.

But I know that they are all out there somewhere, maybe sitting right next to us...

"I guess you don't really own a dog, you rent them, and you have to be thankful that you had a long lease."

reply to post by Shuzitzu

Wow! Great post, great video... and I'm not quite sure what to say about Toby... It's obvious he was so much more than just a best friend. Thank you for introducing me to him.

The best advice I can give you is:
Give it a little time, and when you're ready, meet another "best friend". I've been through what you're going through several times... it never gets easier... but don't let that keep you from experiencing a dog's love again. To do so, is to miss another great relationship.

I sincerely hope this helps... at least a little.

My thoughts are with you, and Toby.

One of my good friends used to say: "When I die, I want to go where dogs go." All I could say to that was: Me too!

See ya,
Milt

PS:
Would you like to meet some of our past and present "owners"? It might do you some good! I know meeting Toby did me some good.

Dogs are man's best friend - at every stage he goes through from baby to old old man . And womens' best friend -
its a saying a with so many good reasons - as we know . Losing a dog is hard - its a personal loss and you might feel like the dog is lost - you no longer own the dog . You cant care for the dog or check on it, feed it , give it a brush, be its owner and its friend or have it as part of the family anymore . Wishing you could.... <
that is the problem with grief , all you are left with is memories - and maybe some bad ones .
Good memories can never hurt you , will never hurt you , they never hurt anyone .- they heal up the bad ones .
Having lost to time , memories , are still what you are left with .
Dealing with the death of anyone is something inevitable - . The future and death are concurrent phenomenon - deciders, bringing every possibility in all existence with them . The same is true of the future and life . The future is where when and how why and who both are - and hence the future controls both - life and death .
The future controls your dog , and you at all times . The future being the decider - it is the determinator - so we must delimit the future as a perfect regulator - trust it . Decide - terminated , or determinated ?

Death is seen as loss upon loss , television presenters bemoan 'tragic loss' , as if they were the deciders here about what matters . Of course - a person wants to keep their life as long as they can - but what's this about loss?
The tribute of the op is not loss but a tribute - of warm heartfelt memories - so where do people get the right to say that his dog (or someone's child) is 'gone forever' or 'lost' - well , they dont decide but the determinator decides , that . If someone dies why not say that they are lucky ? Why not ? Because its a darned certain fact we havent got an answer thats viable . They are in a better place then , than what any fool ascribes as theirs .
In better hands than our own is how I like to see it .

/by thinking ahead about certain futures a lot of grief can be avoided - suspending temporal or impending problems is paramount . Avoiding regrets is not an economic issue .