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Horrible nightmare about my mother dying. (Not an intended prediction/premonition topic)

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posted on Dec, 4 2011 @ 12:49 PM
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I just had a horrible nightmare. I want to clarify that this is not intended to be a prediction, nor do I believe it to be any sort of premonition. I just don’t really have anywhere else to post this or anyone to tell about it, so I am availing myself of this forum’s existence just to get it out of my system. (Though with that said, anyone’s insights or interpretations are still welcome.) I hope that’s alright.

I found myself sitting back to back with my mother in a high, snowy cliff. We were trying to get to what looked in my mind like a radio telescope, somewhere east of us. The cliff we were on formed an exceedingly narrow ledge, and if either of us moved, it felt as though we might fall to our deaths. As I sat there, the word “Shasta” came into my mind, so that might have been where we were (Mt. Shasta) though I was uncertain of that in the dream. All I knew was that we needed to go somewhat east to find the radio telescope. Somehow I also knew that if we continued going east out of the state, we would find a large crater from a long ago impact.

We tried to carefully get up, but as we did, we lost our balance, and fell off the cliff. I somehow survived, but my mother died on impact. I can’t express how horrific this was. It felt so real. I was crying my eyes out and just in total shock, grief, and denial in the dream. I was running around, asking these ancient looking, traditionally dressed people for help. (This part of the dream is fuzzy.)

I then somehow found myself back where we used to live years ago, and there was a small kitten on a wooden porch. As I watched, a large, adult cat approached the kitten and tried to eat it. I tried to save the kitten, but it transformed into a baby dragon, and I became afraid of it. The larger cat used some sort golden dragon pendant which it wore around its neck to reach out and strangle the dragon.

Then I found myself in a shop, and there was an ancient looking man wearing the same golden dragon pendant behind the counter. My mother was alive again somehow, and I was asking him what kind of sauce I should buy for a surprise dinner I was going to make for her.

Then, with equal suddenness, I became aware that she was actually dead. I woke up then, horrified and still grief stricken from the dream. This was one of those dreams that feels so real, and so intensely emotional, that it might as well have really happened. I won’t be able to talk to her today until she’s out of work, so I am needless to say going to be worried sick about her all day now. Upon waking I immediately went into the other room where some of her things are, and actually started crying because the grief felt so real. I’ve since calmed down and told myself that this was just a dream. I’ve had many similar dreams in the past and nothing has ever happened.

The only odd thing about this dream is that it affected me so strongly that I spent a few minutes looking up impact craters and radio telescopes near Mt. Shasta, and there actually is a radio telescope east of Mt. Shasta (Hat Creek Radio Observatory,) and a suspected impact crater further east, in Nevada (Black Rock desert.) The crater doesn’t look like the one in the dream, though, nor does the radio telescope.

Anyway, I just needed to process this dream and get it out of my system. It affected me very powerfully, and I won’t feel right until I can talk to my mom this evening. Thanks for listening/reading.

Peace.
edit on 12/4/2011 by AceWombat04 because: Fixed typo in title




posted on Dec, 4 2011 @ 01:00 PM
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I hate dreams like that... the ones that mess with your head for a day or two.

Be gentle with yourself for the day. And hopefully you can shake it off quickly.



posted on Dec, 4 2011 @ 01:29 PM
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Thanks, will do. I'm feeling better now. But man. What a trip lol. I too hate those kinds of dreams that affect you for a few days. I used to have them all the time, but this was the first I've had in a long while. I suspect stress is involved (and I've had a lot of personal health issues lately that probably bring up mortality awareness and so forth.)



posted on Sep, 3 2012 @ 09:17 AM
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After my last post in this topic back December, I began to experience severe anxiety, a sense of dread, impending doom, and sorrow. The feelings I described only intensified. Now, as I have been open with in other topics here, I do suffer from social anxiety secondary to what the world of psychiatry calls Aspergers. However, as I have also said elsewhere, my anxiety has always been purely social and has never manifested in this manner before. Anyhow, it kept building and building. And others in my life - a close friend, my mother, and others - felt the same. It was like something horrible and very trying was about to occur, or might occur if certain actions weren't taken. I just couldn't shake it.

All of this escalated until one night I hear a female voice whisper my name. I am not a delusional person. I have never suffered from hallucinations. It sounded like my mother, so I turned around expecting her to be there, but no one was present. Immediately after this, the aforementioned close friend called me to say that he had just heard a voice say his name as well. Also a female. In his case, it sounded just like his wife. But she was nowhere to be found at the time. He also heard the voice again, more insistently, this time saying, "(friend's name) I need your help!"

At this point, we both thought we were losing our minds. We thought we were experiencing mass hysteria of some kind. I even had my friend relate his experience to my mother and had her repeat it back to me, for fear I was insane and hallucinating the entire conversation. Fortunately I was not.

Not so fortunately, around this time my mother had begun to feel ill. I don't want to get into the details, but she was decidedly under the weather. As the sense of dread grew, so too did her illness. Then one morning it became apparent that she was much more ill than she had thought. I took her immediately to the ER, and she ended up having emergency surgery. Without going into specifics, she was nearly septic and almost died. We never even knew she was really sick. This was February 29th, the feelings of dread and fear having built up since the beginning of the year/early last year, together with that disturbing as hell dream.

In the interim, we have had all sorts of battles with the hospital due to poor care, inconsistency, lack of communication, and interdepartmental conflicts. Some of which resulted in a prolongation of her issue, which has now become chronic, and may last for the rest of her life. I have had to do things daily in order to care for her which are far from pleasant, and if I'm perfectly honest about it, downright traumatic, especially given my preexisting psychological issues. We have both been under constant stress, fear, an emotional roller coaster of improvement, screwy doctors, worsening, and finally stabilization, and ultimately routine.

She is finally okay now, but this is a condition she will live with probably forever, and something I will have to care for for the duration of her life as well. Which I am happy to do, don't get me wrong. I love my mother more than anything in this world, and I am not ashamed or afraid to say so. I would do anything for her. But you can imagine the impact this has on both our lives, in numerous ways.

My point in sharing this story is to demonstrate that sometimes these feelings might actually be worth listening to. I remain skeptical, as there are still other possible explanations. But the cumulative impact of all of the above sure subjectively feels like someone or something was attempting to get our attention, to warn us. The nightmare I had is all too applicable to what we've been through and had to do.

Back to back, on a mountain cliff, reliant on one another utterly for stability and survival.

Peace.





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