Christian Conspiracy Revealed!

Aha! At last you say! You knew it all along didn't you! Finally someone has uncovered the truth! Weeell, not so fast big guy! You see, if you are not a christian, then this is not for you. After all, this is our secret. That's right, only those who receive the message....got it? Okay, now that all of the atheists have left the thread I will continue. Oh, wait, you over there....I don't think you are supposed to be here....and you...are you a christian? Okay, is that everyone?? Hmmm...I think we have a few more people who need to leave the thread. I'm WAITING! Okay, all of the unbelievers are out so we can start now.

Anyhow, I just wanted to commend all of you ats brothers and sisters in Christ on the fine job that you are doing! You guys totally rock! That's right, YOU ROCK! You are such good christian soldiers. It seems that we have discovered the ultimate weapon. Yep, you heard me, the ultimate weapon!! After much research here on ats I have discovered that when a christian posts a thread on anything to do with christianity or religion, the atheists just flock to it! I mean they are just drawn to that thread like a moth to a flame!! It is remarkable! I am so surprised by what I have learned here on ats. I mean really, I never realized that lucifer has been so busy. He sure has been working awfully hard lately, as he knows that he must get prepared for his 15 minutes of fame. After all, it is coming soon and he does want to be prepared.

But anywho, whether you consider yourself a believer, or a Christ follower, or a christian, or just a spiritual person that believes that Jesus Christ is our Lord and Savior who died for ours sins that we might have eternal life, I am talking to you. To me, anyone that is a Christ follower is my brother and sister in Christ. Now moving on. I just wanted to let you know that I think that you are definitely doing a great job on ats. Sooooon....theeey will all be one of us!! That's right....one of us. You see, with every post it sinks further and further into their unconscious mind. Every bit of witness that you give just sinks deeper and deeper into their mind when they read your posts. They don't know it yet, but it is just swirling around in their heads, waiting for that right moment. You know, those moments. Those moments when they hear on the news that somebody got killed in a car accident, or a young guy in his 20's was unexpectedly killed when riding his motorcycle, or someone they know or maybe even love came down with cancer and didn't make it. Those will be the moments when they wonder what will happen to them if they unexpectedly die. Naw, couldn't happen to them,,,could it? I mean you know, those Jesus followers are just all nuts and ignorant and stuff, believeing in that stupid myth/fairytale and that dumb book that just can't be right.....oooh, but what if??...noooo, can't be, Hmmmmm......awwww....noooo...NOT GONNA THINK ABOUT IT!! La la la la!! Oooh, but then, you know, sometimes life just sucks! I mean, the bills pile up or the job sucks, or an unexpected expense and we don't have the money...and what are we gonna do....Oh dear God please....noooo...wait....la la la la!

Oh well, anyway, I think my dear brothers and sisters that you know where I'm going with this. I guess what I am trying to say is keep up the good work, and don't get discouraged. You are doing a great job, and I'm sure that even now this is just running around in their brains....nagging at them.....making them wonder......if they could be wrong. I do believe that when you enter the gates of heaven Jesus will say to you "Well done, good and faithful servant". You see, even now, they can hear the knocking. It won't go away....shhhh....can you hear it......the knocking?

Revelation 3:20
Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and dine with him, and he with Me.

John 3:16
For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.

Seriously! John 3:16?? I mean...isn't that the one that the christians always quote??? Sigh!

Actually, I thought this thread was going to be about how Christianity is a conspiracy used to manipulate people. Oh well. I will casually slip out the back door.

reply to post by BirdOfillOmen


Yes, thank you for gracefully removing yourself. As you can see, this thread was not for You. This is our secret. Nice picture by the way.

Originally posted by BirdOfillOmen
Actually, I thought this thread was going to be about how Christianity is a conspiracy used to manipulate people. Oh well. I will casually slip out the back door.

Hey, wait for me! Don't leave me alone with people who hear knocking and voices. Its spooky. Poltergeists scare me!
*dons tinfoil hat and also exits the room disappointed at not having seen the big secret*

Originally posted by LightSpeedDriver
reply to post by BirdOfillOmen

 

Hey, wait for me! Don't leave me alone with people who hear knocking and voices. Its spooky. Poltergeists scare me!
*dons tinfoil hat and also exits the room disappointed at not having seen the big secret*

Can I see your tinfoil hat? Mine just doesn't seem to turn out right. It always just ends up looking like a giant hersheys kiss. Aaaack!

reply to post by LightSpeedDriver


You don't have to be disappointed, just ask and you can see the big secret. It's not hidden, you just have to look in the right place.

reply to post by charles1952


I just read some of your threads. You have a great sense of humor!

Giving an "atta boy", and a pat-on-the-back to a clan of folks who believe in a tall-tale to which "faith" is its ONLY real 'evidence' is ASININE at best.

It doesnt take much effort or brains to just have "faith".

I am STILL waiting for some actual proof of this mythical faith other than a man-made book that can EASILY be considered the most sexist, racist, violent, contradictory, absurd, mass-murder-filled book EVER in history.

This thread is like rewarding a losing sports team who didnt even get up off of the bench to play, but had "faith" that they will one day win a game.

Or like giving a medal to an emergency room doctor who kneels on the ground, clasps his hands together, and 'prays' to some 'god' while his patient DIES on the hospital bed from a bleeding wound that only required some bandages. "ATTA BOY DOC" .

HONESTLY, this thread deserves a bigger FACE-PALM than the Godzilla Face-palm.

organized religion is a scam (organized crime)...just ask oral roberts, who scammed millions of people out of millions of dollars....oh, wait....you CAN'T ask him...he's dead...over 20 years after he told everyone in his congregation....and millions on tv...that he needed $8 million by the weekend, or god was going to take him.....benny hinn.....refused to talk with a reporter after he was asked for proof of the "miracles" he performed...and made up excuses why he couldn't do it...they're all frauds and criminals....just like our so-called "government"

There are two things in religion that I despise.
1. Jewish people who believe they are special or superior since they are "chosen" over all other faiths. Can you imagine spending eternity with people like that?
2. Christians who use an internet forum to tell everyone just how jacked up they are about the rapture.
I believe the bible instructs you to pray alone in a room with the door closed, why do you think that is?

reply to post by britelite1971


I woke one morning with this poem in my head. I have never written poetry and this was there. I knew I would forget it if I didn't get up. At around 5am or so, this entered my blog. No changes were made. It took 3 minutes or so to type out. As for your thread, seeds are planted and we never know what will take root and what will find rocky soil. I can provide an explanation for what I think it means if anyone is interested.

The Pendulum of Life Swings

A seed is planted in a garden with care
Its fruit of expectations unknown
An invocation of Spirit to clothe
Something from nothing the goal

Mortal toil evokes the moving flow
Of swinging extremes to circle an end
With providence and patience a Gardener must tend
The Miracle of One from two

Like is to unlike
As right is to left
Blind wakes to new Light
As a vision obscured

The pendulum swings; must come to its end
Refinement and purpose revealed
The veil of choice leaves the first fruits behind
As one new creation transcends

reply to post by HangTheTraitors

I'm surprised, my experience has not been that at all. I find that having and keeping faith sometimes requires a great deal of effort. What kind of religion would it be if every part of it could be proved with a scale and an ohmmeter. That's just accepting what you can see. Borrring. I'm more open minded than that.

As far as brains go, those are needed too. I refuse to believe anything that is contradictory to reason. I will not believe that something is, and is not, at the same time. I subject my faith to reason before I accept it.

A tall-tale with no evidence? I believe the Bible, especially the New Testament, records things that actually happened. Sort of like a lab report or a newspaper column. I'm fine with that, you may not be. That just means believers are considering more evidence than non-believers.

I'm not sure I'm brave enough to die for my faith, I just don't know. But I'm certain I can stand being laughed at for my faith.

Thank you for this post op! It brings encouragement to those of us with faith! You are absolutelety right, one day thier eyes will be truly opened, and it may not be easy. keep on spreading the word everyone!

reply to post by britelite1971


Dear britelite1971,

Thank you, you are very kind. Perhaps you have the wrong fellow though. I'm just an ordinary guy and I didn't think I had a sense of humor. Oh well, perhaps I can't see it. I'll have to take it on faith. ("Faith," get it? And if that doesn't destroy my reputation for humor, nothing will.)

What I wanted to tell you was that you seem to have the gift of exhortation. That is a very valuable gift now. Thank God for it and be faithful in its use.

I don't understand the reaction to Christian threads. Many seem content to say only 1) It's all make believe. or 2) Bad things happen because of religion. If someone argues #1, I have to wonder why? What good does it do to say "I don't believe it's true?" Yeah, Ok, I get it. You got anything else? That's when they say religion is bad.
But 95% of the world through history has been religious. I expect lots of bad people. But I'm also awed by Mother Teresa, Father Damien and his lepers, Billy Graham, C.S. Lewis, Augustine etc. etc.

It's almost as though non-believers were also unable to see.

Well, I've babbled enough, but some of my heart wanted to come out.

With respect,
Charles1952

reply to post by HangTheTraitors


Wow! Now that's some drama! But...but...you left me hanging. You didn't end your story. This ER doctor, does he get sued, or does he get the girl...or does he get hit by a Mack truck when he's leaving work and then sees St. Peter at the pearly gates. C'mon...finish your story.

reply to post by Trublbrwing


Why do you believe that people should do what the Bible instructs?

I believe the bible instructs you to pray alone in a room with the door closed, why do you think that is?

Do you do what the Bible instructs us to do? If you don't how can you be upset that others don't either?

If you do follow what the Bible says, then welcome to the amazing world of Christianity. You can help those of us who are deficient in our application of God's word. (The Bible)

Seriously! You are so right! I mean, I don't even like tv preachers! They're all fake looking and they got that gold jewlery and those limos that they paid for from takin money from little old ladies who are just barely gettin by! I mean, is that cool? No!...just no..no. And that whole crystal cathedral thing goin on. What's up with that?? I didn't even know Oral Roberts had died. Where have I been?? I completely understand where you're coming from. There are Alot of churches out there that scam people and just take their money and control them. You are so right about that! Then, there are some legit ones. Good thing it's not religion that saves a person!

Originally posted by Trublbrwing
There are two things in religion that I despise.
1. Jewish people who believe they are special or superior since they are "chosen" over all other faiths. Can you imagine spending eternity with people like that?
2. Christians who use an internet forum to tell everyone just how jacked up they are about the rapture.
I believe the bible instructs you to pray alone in a room with the door closed, why do you think that is?

Actually, I don't personally think that Jewish people go to heaven just because they are Jewish. Second of all, I think the rapture is a matter of interpretation, and it's not a salvation issue. Third of all, the bible tells you to pray in a room with the door closed, because when you pray, it's for your personal relationship with God and not because you are doing it to show other people how "holy" you are.

You know what else would be jacked up? I read online that Jeffrey Dahmer professed to have been saved before he was killed in prison. Could you imagine? I mean, you get to heaven, and then you see Jeffrey Dahmer sittin at the table and he turns around and looks at you?! Now that would be jacked up!

reply to post by SuperiorEd


Wow! That's an awesome poem! Thanks for sharing that! Just fyi, I have much enjoyed your posts and threads! I think that you have much wisdom to share!

Originally posted by stonebutterfly
Thank you for this post op! It brings encouragement to those of us with faith! You are absolutelety right, one day thier eyes will be truly opened, and it may not be easy. keep on spreading the word everyone!

Thank you! You gave me encouragement just by what you wrote! By the way, I really like your avatar. I have a real big place in my heart for cats and dogs, and I do believe that sometimes they are our little earthly angels that God sends to help us along on our journey.