I have had experience of what I would describe as an abusive relationship, not physical, just mental really (he was
), and it wasn't fun. Below are
Not long before our child was a year old, I had a wake up call of how life would be if we remained together potentially forever, and I decided there
and then our relationship would have an endgame.
You see, after the birth, I had Post natal depression, mainly because the doctors refused to prescribe an anti-depressent whilst I was still pregnant
like they did with my first (If you knew my life story, and medical history you'd understand), anyway, as the months wore on, the tablets didn't
seem to be entirely working, and I was getting bigger ! How I never noticed I have no idea.
Anyway, by the time our child was 10 months old, I had been a nightmare to live with, on the maximum dose of medication I could take with little to no
effect, the doctor decided to do a thyroid function test, low and behold I had Hashimoto's disease, which is basically a wobbly thyroid function,
usually after having a baby.
So I told my partner, yet despite this a night or so later, he turned round to me and said "I don't fancy you as much anymore, as you are bigger
than you used to be !"
Say what ?!!!
Oh, and that he, and this work colleague had mutual feelings for each other, funny thing was up to that point I thought I would actually marry him,
given all the nonsense he had to put up with from me, but after that, well, no chance.
Unfortunately however, we did try to make it work, and limped along til our child was 1 and a half, but the bottom line was it just wasn't going to
work, comments such as "you couldn't handle a job, you wouldn't like having to be told what to do!" were just not productive, and showed just how
little he knew me (I have been in my current job for the last 3 years, and little one is 4 and a half now).
Best bit of all........ I began loosing all the excess weight 2 months after his initial comment, and went from a size 16, 11 and a half stone, down
to a size 10, 9 stone 6, in three months, I was never built to be big to begin with, the whole thing was caused by having had a baby.
So in conclusion, I wish I had done it sooner, never let a man try to tell you anything always draw your own conclusions, and erm, yeah make like a
tree and leave, because if its done, its done.
Footnote : 4 weeks after I asked him to go, he had a new girlfriend, 5 months later she was pregnant, back in July one of the mums from school told me
about something my ex said about his current partner at a kids birthday...... "Yeah she's struggling a bit as a new mum!" With him in tow, I am not
Sorry rant over, please return to your normal business nothing to see here.... but it felt good to type it out