I have a short story I want fresh eyes on, seeking input and insight! Interested in weighing in?

I have a previous post, though this one I feel will represent my my point in making this thread better. I am basically forming a high/dark fantasy novel from a good deal of stories I've written along the years, I have cleaned them up and this in particular is the first reveal at the progress I am carving out. I am an amateur writer of course and as such I am sure there is a great deal of work to be done on this little project I am hoping to get great insight from those among you, I have always found this community to be amazingly helpful. Its about 2.3k words and it is a kick off to a world where there are several magic and not so magic arts out and at work, politics and war are hand in hand served up with plot,intrigue,and blood and guts. Always the blood and guts. Its definitely adult oriented but not sleazy, just grim. Please consider giving me any feedback you can, good bad and the ugly. Thanks!

Had a begger approached Krib in Hune such as he himself had Nyan here in Raxum Manu, why he'd have ran the bastard through, nevermind his man.To hell with a man if you forget who to stick and when and why. Although, he would have his man run the little sh*t through right there after,why not?

A Liar For A Lord

people here get upset if a post isn't spaced or is more than 3 sentences. 2500 word short story probably made more than 99.9% of ats click their mouse frantically.

reply to post by randomname


Its an off site link, the text is spaced for easy reading and I think I am confused by your comment...Its not like I'm posting 2500 words here, with terrible spacing and formatting errors to top it off. Also, while I appreciate your comment, it seems a bit off to take the time to critique me without even so much as a cursory glance at what it is you are discussing. Now had you read a bit and came to that conclusion,ok. Seems unlikely many frequent this section of the forums anyways and as such I describe what can be expected. If you don't like the size of it, dont bother with it, and lets just not spend my effort reading your post that is not about my article anyways or not about it in any useful way at least. Thanks anyways?