Department of Homeland Security's Latest Warning: Deep Fried Turkey???

campaign2012.washingtonexaminer.com...

The Department of Homeland Security is taking any threat seriously during the Thanksgiving holiday, including the ominous threat to our national security posed by turkey fryers.

Really? $43 Billion tax dollars per year are spent on this worthless joke of a department and while they do next to damn nothing to stem the tide of illegal border crossings they have the time, resources, and effort on issuing a safety warning about... turkey frying?

Well Janet, what's in the pipeline for 2012, a no fry list? Placing Turkey Security Admin goons in the meat department of stores to molest every shopper than selects a turkey? Video screens in Walmart urging people to call authorities if they see someone preparing the bird in a suspiscious manner?

Good God we live in the political equivalent of a Uwe Boll movie.
*facepalm*

A contributor from your link expressed what I am thinking so eloquently, I thought I would just cut and paste.

"Dear Obama Administration, Do I wipe towards or away? Thanks."

reply to post by burdman30ott6


I wish they would get this woman out of my face. I don't need mommy dearest lecturing about everything next she will telling us how to fix our hair.

the great turkey bomb. instead of stuffing, high grade c4. al qaeda latest plot, buy 1000 turkey's and blow them up.

i can see homeland security has all the bases covered.

I like this warning much more than a warning from Janet.

Damn, 500 illegal immigrants entered the country while they were typing that up. So that is how they sneak past.
Priorities people.

reply to post by burdman30ott6


the opposite is actually true, they issue so many warnings, they get usually get ignored in classic "the cabinet level department that cried threat" fashion

reply to post by burdman30ott6


The Turkeys Are Coming!! The Turkey Are Coming!!




Thanks government and big sis for looking out for our cooking safety and the terrorists in the kitchen. Here's some more rights of mine you can have. Thanks again!!

Turkeys of terror! Al-gobbla will no doubt strike this thanksgiving, burning wooden decks all over America, carving a swath of slick oily devestation the likes of which none have ever seen.


Same message as every year prior to this one, don't overfill the oil, don't kick the pot and don't get drunk and grab the handles after drinking 6 beers. Herpa-Derp the DHS is now our nanny, yelling at us not to touch the stove because it's hot.

Originally posted by burdman30ott6
Video screens in Walmart urging people to call authorities if they see someone preparing the bird in a suspiscious manner?

I'm preparing my turkey with a napalm baste and some C4/metal fragment stuffing, that's not suspicious is it?

Seriously though, what are they expecting; IED turkeys being delivered to America's homeless shelters?

Janet Napolitano better watch out, I heard this guy is looking for her....

You see the real danger is the tryptophan!!!!! You get yourself a big enough turkey, freeze that sucker in liquid nitrogen, drop into a deep fat fryer at 350 degrees and WHOOOOM!!!!!

The frozen turkey instantly thawing in the fryer produces enough "concentrated turkey liquids" (I plan on trademarking that so back off) to evaporate into 13 cubic feet of aerosol tryptophan. Which is enough in my own opinion to make at least 1/3 of the civilized world sooooo sleeeeepy. Obviously a situation for Homeland Security.

Originally posted by Aggie Man
Seriously though, what are they expecting; IED turkeys being delivered to America's homeless shelters?

Gibblets of mass destruction.

I'm not so much peeved over the warning about best practices regarding frying a large turkey, just the fact that this is not something federal money should be spent on. Let the Butterball company finance these warnings.

So I guess the "homeland" is safe from "terror" if Napolitano has time to tackle the fried turkey menace?

No way a department as important as this would waste time on such tripe if they had anything at all better to do, right?

Seems like someone at Homeland Security must be having a slow week. What better way to spend money than to scare those who are new at frying turkeys.

reply to post by thisguyrighthere

No way a department as important as this would waste time on such tripe if they had anything at all better to do, right?

You would hope that's the way they think, but you never know.

Originally posted by tsurfer2000h
Seems like someone at Homeland Security must be having a slow week. What better way to spend money than to scare those who are new at frying turkeys.

Typical government social engineering.

Scare the inexperienced so they never gain experience.

Eventually you have an entire generation that is inexperienced with a thing.

They take that lack of experience and use it to justify a position based on ignorance.

They then ask the government to ban/regulate the thing they are ignorant of.

The people get dumber and the government gets more control.

It's happened before, happening now and will continue to happen.

Turkey frying might seem trivial but the thing to remain ignorant of isnt the point. Ignorance itself is the point.

I do not understand all you "Debbie Downers" on this site. This is really important information and we need the DHS to tell us this type of stuff in order to avoid a catastrophe during the Holidays. I mean think about it.... it's not like when you go out and buy a Turkey Fryer you can just find this type of information on the box, or on the instruction sheet inside the box or on the cooking directions for Frying a Turkey, or ummmm wait a second....... never mind. I stand corrected.

I am just waiting to the DHS to post a warning for looking both ways before I cross the street.