please someone help me.

reply to post by ErroneousDylan


Just find another girlfriend man...

I know sometimes its not easy, but the best way to get over someone, is to get under someone else...

nothing cures heartbreak but time though...

stay strong bro

reply to post by ErroneousDylan

i dont even know what to say, i just want to die so bad. im sorry for being such a downer but i feel you all are the only ones that will listen to me. my soul-mate (i still believe her to be) left me a couple of days ago. we went from being madly in love where she would swear to me everyday that she was happy with me and loved me and always would for eternity to a couple days ago she flat out left me, via cellphone text. i tried talking to her and she wont even respond when we exchanged our items back she talked to me as if i was a stranger, like she didnt even know me or care. im so traumatized that im shaking and my body feels weird and i really just want to die so bad.

I am 19 years old

I had a friend who went through a very similar experience at about that age. He was so shattered that all he ever spoke about was this person who he claimed was his soul mate. It took him multiple years before he started to get over it. It's all he could talk about for so long, and it only further helped drive people away from him. I could write a book on the psychology behind his experience. It's something a lot of young people go through, and you will eventually get over it. The quicker you do get over it, the better off you'll be. If she has the nerve to suddenly break up via txt message and ignore you, she never really loved you, and she doesn't deserve your love. It's a very cold hearted thing for a person to do.

It may seem like the end of the world, but there is more to life than just love. You have your whole life ahead of you to find your soul mate and settle down. You should let love find you, not constantly seek it out as if you are missing something. The world is love sick my friend, it's as if everyone has been hit by cupids arrow, they fail to see outside of the little box they live in, and they fail to really live their life to the fullest. Of course, you could just take the cowards way out, go kill yourself right now if you think that's going to help anything, it really makes no difference in the bigger picture, there is no Heaven and there is no Hell. God had nothing to do with this, we all have free will and decide our own fate. What will your fate be?

You need some of this.





Dude, you're just a kid. As someone 2.5 times your age, someone who has been through this same heartbreak a number of times (until God blessed me with a wonderful woman to whom I've been married 23 years) I can assure you that the pain you are feeling is TEMPORARY. I promise you that it will pass quickly, even more so if you make an effort to move on with your life.

Nothing takes your mind off your problems like filling your time with new and interesting pursuits, like that hot blond that I know you noticed; and nothing heals old wounds better than taking that hot blond to a movie or nightclub and seeing your ex, watching as her jaw hits the floor, "I can't believe he's already seeing someone else."

Oh yeah.

reply to post by ErroneousDylan


You have my support brother, no matter what understand that you have love, and with love you can accomplish ANYTHING. Take care of your sensitive soul my brother, its hard to sometimes, my thoughts are with you.

Hello.

Seems like you've got many replies, but I don't have time to read them all, but I read your text.

I am a guy 20 years old and i'm with a girl, we've been together for almost 2 years, and if she left me I would feel exactly the same as you do now.

The only thing you need to focus on is that this has already been written in the "book of you life", this is meant to happen for you to go along with your life and learn everything you are supposed to learn. If you get her back you will be stuck. This means that you have to come back to this life again to learn what you are supposed to learn if you go back to her.

I know this is extremely hard, but you just have to do it, that's the way of the universe, the universe does not do this to damage you or to be mean, it's just how it is, and you have also chosen this before you were born in this human body. You will realize this the day the universe has decided for you to return to where we all come from.

The best thing you can do is to just follow the path that the universe has layed out for you, and you will experience new and better things, even though it doesn't look like it now, but you just wait and see. Accept whatever the universe want's to give you, because the universe does NOT LIKE TO WAIT OR POSTPONE ANYTHING.

Just keep this in mind.

Kindest regards

|.SLO7H.|

There are a lucky few who happen to find each other and love each other with the same intensity. Most of us will never experience that, especially in a world that has become so self-centered.

It is my greatest disappointment in life that I was not one of the lucky few.

I've been through this. It took over 5 years. But I found a way better love. You will be fine. Besides, what makes you so special that you get to have true undying love at such a young age?? There are people who die alone! And I can tell you are the kind of person who will find love one day, so consider yourself lucky! I know you don't wanna hear this, but, you were probably not ready for true love. And neither was she. #1 If you truly understood love, you would want nothing other than her happiness. Not yours! #2 And you say she SWORE she loved you and would forever?? Um, why were you making her SWEAR???? YYYYYYeah...... Totally not ready for love. What you had could have became love, ill give you that. But what you had was an infatuation... Think about #1 and #2. You will be just fine. It will hurt for a while, but that hurt will make you a better lover to the one you were REALLY meant to be with. I hope I don't sound harsh... I could do a much better job with you in person. All I can say is trust me, you are better off, and you WILL find happiness. If you live 60 or more years after today, what is 2 to 5 years of waiting if it takes that long to find true love if you will get to enjoy it for 50+ years? Cheer up. You are not alone. Many many of us have felt the same way. And we got through it. So can you! I promise!

Oh, and a good tip is to go out a lot with your friends now, they will support you.

Kindest regards

|.SLO7H.|

Originally posted by lacrimosa

learn to love yourself first,

but not too much, i heard it make's you go blind.

Excuse me, but I am not blind yet.

That's quite a myth.

Originally posted by ErroneousDylan

One day we were having the brightest time in my life, the next she left. Her reason was that she was too stressed out with her jobs and school and needed time to herself, so I believe it was not my fault. She claimed though, that all her free time was given to me and that I was creating more stress for her.

What she really wanted to say is that she has found someone else.

That's the way women are. They don't tell you anything directly. You find out by seeing her at the mall with her new BF.

Originally posted by brindle
Get a dog.They are less maintenance and better companions.

They are also LOYAL, and don't b1tch at you ever.

Q: If you have your GF at the front door yelling, and your dog at the back door barking, which do you let in first?

A: The dog, because it'll shut up as soon as he's inside.

reply to post by ErroneousDylan


I'm sorry OP for your situation, the first time always hurts the worse. are you still there? still looking for input?

I'm 32, been in your shoes so many times by now. All I can say to you, is that as long as you believe your girlfriend did this terrible thing to you, you are putting the power over your happiness into her hands, and you are her victim. and you will go on looking to others to create or destroy your happiness for you. but if you look at the breakup and say "how did I create this?" then the power to be happy or not is in your own hands, where it belongs.

look at her callous, selfish, and unfeeling treatment of you like you are looking into a mirror. in what ways have you behaved callously, selfishly, or without feeling? to her, or to anyone. this is what the experience is trying to show you. you can't change her, you can't turn back the clock and get her back, but you can change yourself, and stop this from happening again.

if you truly love her as you say, then you will want her happiness, even if that happiness doesn't come from you. as long as you resent her leaving, and would rather die than lose this relationship, then you are only loving yourself and your own happiness. think again about what I said, the breakup is a mirror for you. really think about it. I know it's hard to let her go when you love her so much, but in fact that's the truest kind of love there is.

hang in there friend, you will be o.k.

reply to post by ErroneousDylan



OP.. You are experiencing serious grieving at this time.. and it is understandable that you have lost your will for life, because of the pain you are feeling.

It s very difficult when you are in deep pain to think about dating again.. or see the good possibilities that may come out of this.

All I can suggest to you.. is to keep on keepin on, and ride through this grieving process, and learn what you can.

When you look back in 2 or 5 years.. you may see how this has helped you in some way.

Please...for now.. just take one day at a time.. and try to carry on ..pain and all..because it will get better..though it doesn't feel like that at the moment.

I wish you the best in every aspect of your life.

reply to post by ErroneousDylan

I am 19 years old and I can't even tell anyone my situation without them automatically assuming (atleast in my mind) that I am just some "naive teenager who doesn't understand love, and set him self up to get hurt.

You're wiser than you think you are, because you already know the truth above, you simply don't want to accept it. I'll bet if you ask ANYONE over the age of 30 if they knew what love was when they were 19, they'd say NO.

Every single last one of them....

Originally posted by DrunkNinja
reply to post by ErroneousDylan

 

“Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.”

Embrace the pain, and learn from it. The lesson is love is fleeting, and people can be crass, and uncaring, do not let it interrupt your life because in time you will find your next soul mate, plenty of soul mates in the sea,

edit on 20-11-2011 by DrunkNinja because: (no reason given)

--Best advice I've ever seen from a drunk ninja..--

Hey OP, try and find yourself a well off older woman..they really (usually) know how to take care of a man.

Young girls are inexperienced and heart breakers.

.

Dude, I was in the EXACT same shoes you are in now when I was 19.. a few years ago

I felt horrible, didn't eat, didn't sleep, horrible thoughts running through my head non-stop.

Everything was exactly how you said it, except she broke up with me over AIM..

But I tell you my friend, fight through the pain. Forgive her, and then forget her. Focus on you.

Don't seek love from someone else, you must find peace within yourself first.

"those words from your mouth, they are scary,
and the hate that you have, that you carry,
it will grow it will grow, til we're buried,
And there will be nothing left, except sadness,
and a scar without words without anything,
cause we've done this before. This is madness."

reply to post by ErroneousDylan


Hun, first of all if someone breaks up with you by cellphone - they are a coward and don't deserve to be a part of your life.

I'm 24 years old, and I've been through a lot of 'OMG HE'S THE ONE'. Then the relationship goes sour, I'm sad for a month [Although there's been one where I didn't care about at all.. but he was a complete ass at the end] and then I get over it. It's funny and even embarrassing to think of how 'gaga' I was over these BOYS [not men].

I understand why you're upset but try not to think about it [I know, easier said then done]. Play a video game? Listen to music that makes you feel happy. My favourite band is 'WHY?', you should give them a listen. Eskimo Snow [album] - Into the Shadow of My Embrace [song]. I love screaming the part 'and i know saying all this in public should make me feel funny, but ya gotta yell something out you'd never tell nobody'. Makes me feel alive and happy no matter what's going on. Maybe it's just the screaming.. but check it out! Give your bedroom a hardcore clean, or your kitchen!

I guarantee you that everyone on this site has been heartbroken at least once, we're all here to help you.

Good luck love!

this stuff hurts. Physical pain is tolerable because we can sense it has limits, parameters that define it and we can tolerate it. Emotional pain seems to have no limits and it leads to temporary panic sometimes.
I used to feel like you as I to felt I had a soul mate. But that is a bunch of hoooey.
No such thing my friend.
Love isn't defined that way.
What you are suffering from is this crazy notion that the western man has bought into that love is about romance.It is not! Romance is there just to kick start the process so that real love can begin the process if you both allow it. Sad to say though in todays world that is becoming very difficult as western men and women have raised up romance as the end all in the love dept.
Romance is "passion idealized". Western women have become very difficult to handle because of this. It's not their fault really because we are the ones that caused it from us feminizing ourselves.
Western men have become feminists and though on the surface it sounds right, it is only a red herring. I will repeat, NO SUCH THING A SOUL MATE. Love is deeper than this superficial dream driven by a romantic notion that leaves everyone unfulfilled, male and female. Love takes time and work by both parties for a relationship to work. Passion is fleeting and temporary based on chemical reactions. Women want more than this.
They need more from men, real men. Plus you are both guilty of trying to make a relationship work that is not based on a covenantal bond. It is destined to fail by it's own design without it. Western men have to learn how to become men again for their relationships to work. Add to that the truth that western women have been on a losing trek into feminism. American women are some of the most beautiful women in the world yet the rest of the world doesn't seem to want them. They are too difficult as they carry male attributes with them into the relationships.
How many websites are there that have American women advertizing to other countries for maariage? There are asian sites, russian sites, philipino sites, etc... advertizing to the world for mail order brides but not one site for American women? Why? Because they are too difficult and not marriage material (sorry for the generalizations, of course there are some good American women that understand the male/female roles).
Beautiful, yes!, Difficult, HELL YEAH!!
Your job is to step up and learn from this.
You are acting like a pathetic feminized western male.
I KNOW THIS BECAUSE i WAS ONE.
Love is sooooooooo much deeper than this and it's the man that HAS TO take the lead in this role play of the sexes and women know it deep inside.
Time to step up dude and prepare yourself for a real woman when she presents herself to you.
You have a great op here to grow into one from what you can learn from this seemingly tragic event in your life.
If only western women could understand what the rest of the worlds women seem to know, that we are all little boys when it comes to loving a woman, we are fragile when it comes to the matters of the heart and they have become flippant and irresponsible with this fact.

I have 2 suggestions
1: learn what real love is and it starts with Yah, the author of love.



Defining Love


In Leviticus 19:18b, we read "Love your fellow as yourself". It has also been translated as "You shall love your neighbor as you do yourself", and it is generally interpreted in this way. However, Rabbi Abraham J. Twerski, in his book titled "Growing Each Day," page 230, has written that: "The Torah is stating here a definition of ‘love’: ve’a-havta, the sensation or the experience of love, is lerei’acha kamocha, when you wish for another that which you wish for yourself.

"What some people consider love may be nothing more than a self-serving relationship. They may ‘love’ something because it satisfies their needs, but when the object cannot satisfy the need, or the need itself disappears, the love evaporates.

"True love is not self-serving, but self-giving. We love only when we have as intense a desire to please the other person as to be pleased ourselves. Such an attitude calls for sacrifice, because it may be that we will have to deprive ourselves in order to provide what will please the other person.

"As children, we are selfish. As we mature, we should develop a spiritual love, which is quite different from our childish physical love. This spiritual, other-directed love can withstand all challenges. As the Song of Songs says, Even abundant waters cannot extinguish love (8:7


2:
Henry Makow, lol, the champion for all western males caught into the feminzing western culture that is leaving so many relationships empty and unfulfilling due to men acting like women and women attempting to act like men
www.henrymakow.com...


good luck on your path to growth and I hope this is the beginning for you, and not the end as I can assure you it is not!

Follow your heart,follow your love,follow your dream....dreams are our imagination power to survive...survive your love and your love will survive you!

I know lots of other people have replied...

Your situation sounds so similar to my first major break up, I just wanted to add my thoughts.

You will likely NEVER get over her. Some people say give it a year, some people say give it a month, the honest truth is you will always love her. You'll always remember her as this idealized version of who she is, even if you know her later in life and she's a different person you will remember her as you do now.

It never fully goes away, but you move on. In my situation we had a child together, she left without warning a couple of months before we were to be married. I was 20 at the time. I came home to a mostly empty house, and engagement ring on my dresser, a note to call her.

I was completely wrecked for at least a year. I started seeing other girls a few months later, but I was a different person. I had no interest in being with them emotionally or long-term, and I let them know this immediately. Despite me trying to be up front and honest in my intentions I hurt a lot of people acting that way, and I didn't even realize it until much later, or I did realize it instantly, but took some sort of twisted pleasure in rejecting someone the way I had been rejected. Every location reminded me of her, certain smells reminded me of her, other girls reminded me of her.. It was bad. I didn't hide it.

Finally I realized I needed to just get up off my ass and occupy my time. I never sat at home and moped, but I didn't really do anything to get out of my normal routine either. It was breaking my normal routine, meeting new people, finding new interests and new life goals that finally made the pain start to fade. Now, about 10 years later, we speak daily (we have a child, so of course we've communicated the whole time, although at first our parents acted as liasons so we didn't speak to each other for awhile.)

Now she has changed and I have changed and we've both moved on. I still think of her sometimes as that person I knew before this all happened, the moments and thoughts and love we shared.. But these memories have stopped delivering pain and have instead started to deliver a fondness and respect that was originally lost in passion and anger.

I'm not going to tell you that it will go away, or you should go find someone else. What I will say is don't do anything crazy, if she doesn't want to see you then don't attempt to see her. It just makes you look and feel crazy, especially when you reflect. Try your best to take your mind off of her, even though I know it's almost impossible. Find the little things that do give your mind a moment of rest and try to incorporate them into your daily life as much as you can. Find some support - someone you can talk to who can have a conversation back and forth, not strangers on the internet.

If you can be honest with women chase some - but if you're hung up on someone else make sure they know. Even then it will not be entirely smooth sailing, but at least they know what to expect. Eventually you'll have strong emotions for someone else, but until you find the girl who inspires those emotions shop around a bit. I know it sounds insensitive and maybe rude, but it's a part of moving forward in life. Avoid drinking copious amounts of alcohol for awhile because it's almost a guarantee you'll end up leaving snot trails on the shoulder of some compassionate stranger if you have too many.

Don't hold out for her. Go out and live life and experience new things. She should do the same. If after you've both had a few experiences without one another and miss what you had together, well things just work out sometimes. No matter what happens I wish you good luck.

One other thing I would add:

I think this relationship I briefly described is a huge part of the reason my marriage has been so happy and successful. I learned from my previous experiences how NOT to treat a girl (I was never a bad person, maybe had my focus on myself a little too much, but I was also 16-20 and that's where my focus SHOULD have been.) I had other relationships in between, many short, a few long, and each and every one taught me something about love and how to share it with someone without being overbearing, distant, or selfish. I have also learned levels of patience that I never believed were possible for me. Your lessons will be tailored for you, but they are lessons just the same.