please someone help me.

i dont even know what to say, i just want to die so bad. im sorry for being such a downer but i feel you all are the only ones that will listen to me. my soul-mate (i still believe her to be) left me a couple of days ago. we went from being madly in love where she would swear to me everyday that she was happy with me and loved me and always would for eternity to a couple days ago she flat out left me, via cellphone text. i tried talking to her and she wont even respond when we exchanged our items back she talked to me as if i was a stranger, like she didnt even know me or care. im so traumatized that im shaking and my body feels weird and i really just want to die so bad. i used to be a spiritual person and i thought that all of life's strifes were a "learning experience" atleast that is what people say. but if that is how God or the universe works than i dont want to be a part of it. i just want my happiness back and my love back. i know i should look for someone else fo rlove and happiness but i do and that is me. i dont want to be a part of "god's plan" or whatever the hell he has in store with his "mysterious ways" i dont care if I never evolve spiritually and am stuck on this plane for eternity. i dont want to have to go through with this i hurt so much i can feel my heart hurting. i felt this coming two days before it did even though nothing was wrong, like an esp, and i begged and cried and prayed to the universe "please dont let this happen, even if it wrongs me in the long run" and it did. i hate god. i dont want to be apart of this universe. the only thing that is acceptable for me right now is for everything that has just happened to be non-existant and to go back in time and relive my life with her happily, but i know that time does not exist and that will never happen. how could the universe do this to me? I am a great person and treated her with such respect, i can say with pride that i know she will never have someone as good as me again in her life. but i never did anyhing to deserve this pain. even if "we humans create our own suffering" its not fair, i dont care about my free will or anything i just wanted it to work out and it didnt and now the happiness in my life is gone and i cant cope with the pain and all i want is death. what kind of god does that to his children. (even if we are the same thing as God)

I am 19 years old and I can't even tell anyone my situation without them automatically assuming (atleast in my mind) that I am just some "naive teenager who doesn't understand love, and set him self up to get hurt." I was ready to spend my life with this person, it was all i wanted. i just want to die.

Note: I would never kill myself.

reply to post by ErroneousDylan


“Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.”

Embrace the pain, and learn from it. The lesson is love is fleeting, and people can be crass, and uncaring, do not let it interrupt your life because in time you will find your next soul mate, plenty of soul mates in the sea,

reply to post by ErroneousDylan


You are 19 years old,learn to love yourself first,
then you can love someone else.

learn to love yourself first,

but not too much, i heard it make's you go blind.

Originally posted by mamabeth
reply to post by ErroneousDylan

 

You are 19 years old,learn to love yourself first,
then you can love someone else.

Loving myself would mean accepting my current situation. And yes, while it is very stubborn of me, I just can't do it nor do I want to.

did you read ' A Conversation with God' by Neale Donald Walsh .... you seem to be talking about what he writes buddie... life is all about experience. It can be hard, but that feeling goes so you can experience other stuff... i recently broke up with my ex, I was with her for 12 years since i was 18 ... it was a hard break up but once you try understand it, it does get easy, not straight away but I promise it that it will. Talk to friends if you can or write your feelings down in a diary instead of bottling it up. Have a read of those books, by NDW if you can, there brilliant and uplifting, they make you realise certain things, and when # happens, because it does to everybody you can deal with it better because you undrstand it....

Originally posted by xApostle
did you read ' A Conversation with God' by Neale Donald Walsh .... you seem to be talking about what he writes buddie... life is all about experience. It can be hard, but that feeling goes so you can experience other stuff... i recently broke up with my ex, I was with her for 12 years since i was 18 ... it was a hard break up but once you try understand it, it does get easy, not straight away but I promise it that it will. Talk to friends if you can or write your feelings down in a diary instead of bottling it up. Have a read of those books, by NDW if you can, there brilliant and uplifting, they make you realise certain things, and when # happens, because it does to everybody you can deal with it better because you undrstand it....

I don't know who it is. This is just what I came to realize when I used to follow a spiritual path. I'm sorry for your pain and thank you, but again, I don't want any part of Life's Journey or God.

There's not much you can do about it now, since it just happened two days ago. You're going to be miserable for awhile, and that's natural. But once you start to feel better, you need to take the opportunity to reflect on how you invest emotionally with other people, and obviously, you put in too much and that is a sign you need to build respect for yourself. Learn that you can go out with someone and not be absolutely head over heels for them. It's better that you aren't, because you're more likely to be taken advantage of. Let it develop, don't just give yourself all at once; only do that once you can find someone that you can have a relationship that has been through a tough time or two. Did you and your ex ever have a tough time before then? If not, then there is no way you could have known how strong your relationship was. Those moments are the telling signs if your relationship will make it for the long term. Don't know if I was any help, but I speak the truth!

Pain slowly heals with time. I'm sure there are millions of girls out there better than your ex.

What you have to do right now is take your mind off her. Get some hobbies, or try to find another girl.

Your feelings are not new, this story of "I feel like I could die" has been written millions of times by teenagers who just got dumped. At the end they get over it and find someone else.

thats cool buddie, im not really a religous nut myself, im spiritual too, i just picked this book up one day it is more spiritual than anything, its good, not a bible bashing story or anything... thanks anyway buddie im great now... as in time so will you...
the only reason i mention the book was because its what you spoke of....

Originally posted by satron
There's not much you can do about it now, since it just happened two days ago. You're going to be miserable for awhile, and that's natural. But once you start to feel better, you need to take the opportunity to reflect on how you invest emotionally with other people, and obviously, you expect too much. Learn that you can go out with someone and not be absolutely head over heels for them. It's better that you aren't, because you're more likely to be taken advantage of. Let it develop, don't just give yourself all at once; only do that once you can find someone that you can have a relationship that has been through a tough time or two. Did you and your ex ever have a tough time before then? If not, then there is no way you could have known how strong your relationship was. Those moments are the telling signs if your relationship will make it for the long term. Don't know if I was any help, but I speak the truth!

We had been together for a very long time and the whole entire of our relationship we only had one minor bicker. I know, that sounds too good to be true or even "fake" if you will, but that does not mean that there was no passion or love. It was ridiculous how in love we were. Now, I try talking to her, just seeking answers, and she talks to me as if she is a stranger. Like she doesn't even know me. I really don't know what has happened. It is like she is seriously a different person altogether, like she suffered mental damage. It happened so fast that I am traumatized and still even in denial at sometimes. When I met her today she even brought a friend because she thought I would be so angry that I would hurt her. WTF?! I love her with my heart and only ever want the best for her, I could never even imagine violence, nor am I an angry person. Who is this ex-lover of mine? I know, I put too much into the relationship, but if I could explain my life leading up to our relationship you'd believe that it was "Universally destined". I know that is very cliché but, though I am young, I know what to expect in life and that I am above the mass society of unawakened people. I don't just get in some dumb relationship with a naive attitude. I only selected her because I KNEW that we would remain together for our life; soul-mates. I don't just want some meaningless relationship, I want to be settled down for the rest of my life. Do you know how it feels with your soul-mate (in my reality) leaves you?

reply to post by ErroneousDylan


Smack her... smack her right in the mouth.

Haha, stay up dude. Don't let it stress you. You'll be good... hang tough.

reply to post by ErroneousDylan


I am 31. Not old but wise enough to know how you feel, and how eventually this will be a rarely recalled phase of your life.

I don't even have to read your story. It's just static/noise really, the advice is the same.

When you are 19 and experiencing early love, your universe is utter tunnel vision (you have no idea how great, satisfying, joyful your life could be five years out if you stay positive and strong -- a life that you WILL NOT want to trade for the one you're lamenting tonight).

Getting hurt can leave your heart a little hardened, but that doesn't mean it's not a normal part of life/something that won't help you grow.

You will be infatuated with countless other beautiful, wildly-varying women. You will probably love more than once.

First love is less about true love than it is about loving with your guard completely down.

You will get to a point where you realize that if someone isn't 100% into you, then you don't want the relationship either -- you'd be selling yourself short.

You will also learn that once a relationship goes south between a man and a women in a particular way, there's little chance for it to be again (so sitting around for a long time after the normal coping period is again only you hurting yourself -- the other person will have moved on). It's possible that someone can "come around" as they say, but it's not anytime soon, and it should be after you've had a number of experiences, moved on, and be independent/happy (they rarely come back, and when they do, you have to be careful that they aren't just using you (whether subconsciously or not) to lift themselves up) so that you can accurately gauge things.

The "love yourself" phrase sounds so cheesy. It's like... if you have your own healthy life, if someone decides they've lost interest, if you've done nothing but been a good boyfriend, you should have no regrets. Be thankful for the moments and the experience. Love them enough to want them to be happy or at least learn their own lessons (very hard to do, I know, not easily done anytime soon). If you have a healthy happy life, then heaven forbid, if the current love of your life drops out, you will not be left with nothing. Because you had something before.

I think of attraction like radio stations, and we've all got a tuner locked into a specific (but not unique, that would be the opposite of what I am trying to say) frequency range. You are compatible with what is essentially infinite women on this planet. Like I used to tell myself when I was your age... if I needed a confidence boost... if I screwed up with EVERY GIRL in my state, there are still 49 other states full of girls! Haha. Then I would have to leave the country... lol.

I had a similar painful breakup around your age. Seemed like my world caved in. However, I'm here now with the sweetest woman ever as a wife, and a beautiful new baby boy. Obviously I would not wish for anything to be different.

Stay strong, heal, rise and thrive again friend.

Oh, and one more suggestion. Any kind of suffocating or controlling actions (when you're really just trying to maintain the relationship) will ONLY and ALWAYS push the person away. As you tighten their grip, they slip through further as they say. You have to have self-respect (do not let them walk on you or treat you badly -- they treat you bad, you leave, and await an apology) and confidence with women, don't seem needy, don't act like you will just die without them (what a responsibility on the other person)! If a relationship is going to go bad, if someone is going to cheat on you, whatever the case may be, you just have to try and be a good partner -- if something is going to happen it's going to happen. After the fact, all of that energy you wasted trying to save the unsaveable is simply lost. And man, it can be a lot of energy/effort/worry, which is all negative.

reply to post by ErroneousDylan


Hey dude, cheer up man, you will make it through, look at it this way, a year from now....you'll chillin and enjoyin life. I promise dude.

You'll get over it in like a few months. Once you are ready, ask her calmly why she left you and then ask yourself what you can do to improve yourself for future relationships.

live & learn

Do you know how it feels with your soul-mate (in my reality) leaves you?

There is no such thing as a soul mate. When you find a person that puts up with you and your shortcomings, you have found someone that you can potential grow with in life. Any idea you have about being soul mates, and thinking that you two are going to love each other for eternity is a set up for failure. Even good relationships can come to a conclusion, and if people were immortal, I highly doubt a couple would only have each others company exclusively. Just think if you were immortal, and how many more relationships you would have. Being mortal is a lot easier!

reply to post by ErroneousDylan


By the way, I had my first ex girlfriend who I thought I was going to marry when I was 18.. and guess what, she turned out to be a Decepticon. Heal up, do not do a rebound hookup, that is going to hurt you even more, focus on yourself, and break all of contact with your ex girlfriend. If you want a shot of getting her back, you have to keep a low profile and you might have to dead her friends as well for the time being. Now it is Mr. Dylan Time, you need to become Optimus Prime. Be a leader, not a follower, you got this kid, I have faith.

I have had decades of experience with unrequited love, pain, loss, humiliation, degradation, and pain so searing and hurtful that I didn't see how I could live through it. I have also had happiness, laughter, exhilaration, and joy so great that I felt I would burst. I have had the love I gave returned in abundance.

All life is risk. Sometimes we win, and sometimes we lose....badly. The first time our heart is broken is just as painful as every time after that. The only difference is, the first time, we don't see how we can live through such agony. The world becomes dark, all happiness and hope is drained out, and crawling under a rock to die of a broken heart seems almost inviting.

Yet, if you tell yourself that you just need to get through the day, and allow yourself a little time to grieve, one day you will wake up and feel not quite so dreadful. And every day after that, it will get a little better. Sure, as you pass by places you and your ex liked to go, you'll feel a stab of pain, but eventually you will get over her.

Also, remind yourself that she isn't crying, isn't moping around, and isn't missing you one bit. Do you really want to die over somebody so callous and cold?

You have your whole life ahead of you, and as anybody older can tell you, every relationship ever had in their lives is an "ex" relationship, except for their current one.

As the metal of a sword is put into a hot fire and beaten into something strong and fine, so must your heart go through the same fire. Believe it.

reply to post by DrunkNinja


my favorite quote, think how scared Luke Skywalker was when he went into the Death Star. But the dude made it out alive =D

reply to post by ErroneousDylan


Did your ex girlfriend show you any mercy when she left you? You know yourself she did not. Think about it kid, what is worth more, becoming a doormat for a girl or maintaining your dignity? It is great that you cared for, it shows you are an awesome dude, but also have some pride. Never change yourself for someone. Always be true to yourself.