Do you hate shopping and the lack of etiquette from people? I journeyed to Walmart.

reply to post by mugger

Oh I know how you feel-I was at WalMart myself on Thursday and I too had to deal with people blocking the aisles and screaming kids. But the thing that really bugs me is when I see the lines stretched back halfway through the store and only one or two checkout lanes open -my mother has been known to leave a full grocery order and loudly storm out of stores for that. Now I certainly dont go that far-as a child that was embarrassing-but when you have a store that has like twenty some checkout lanes there shouldnt be that many of them closed. Another thing if you cant teach your children to behave in public then get a sitter.

Originally posted by xxdaniel21
I'm with you OP.

Contrary to local belief that my country holds "courteous, generous and generally helpful people", it houses a lot of unfriendly, hostile people who just can't be bothered.
Unfortunately, americans are generalized as being a lazy culture, but it's just as bad here. In case you're wondering where i'm from, i was refraining from ruining a false image that people have of us. But if you must know, i'm from australia.

A trip to the local department stores takes a lot out of you, and the friendly kind of people like you and i, should venture to these places with an open mind, knowing that there may not be any reward or hope for the people you will encounter or try and show an act of friendliness towards.

Sure you may open a door, and they may smile, but at the end of the day, the general amount of us just walk like drones, bump into you, in a rush, etc - all the characteristics of a typical robot.

Fortunately for some of us though, we hold a mindset that these actions will not change our views, and we shouldn't "stop caring" because some idiot has left a trolley in a parking bay. Sure it's f*cking annoying, and you want to show them a piece of your mind, but at the end of the day - you're benefiting from your display of etiquette.
If everyone went out being friendly just for personal gains, it wouldn't work - as we would all have given up by now. In other words, keep it up.
A person cuts you off in traffic? fine, let him in, and the person behind him. He doesn't wave? okay, it's not the end of the world.

If their act of hostility doesn't affect you in any way towards your general politness, then you understand what i mean.

Do it for the sake of your attitude, and personality... rather than an "exchange" for a good deed to come your way.
You'll also find yourself giving hope and leniency towards other people, rather than treating them all like lost causes.

I agree with idea that some are just having a bad day... ignore them, let them pass. That's not the case in a lot of ways. Some people are trying to test others. Some people feel that you should do everything their way. Going along with them gets you NOTHING... it only gives them peace of mind. That's not a fair trade.

people screw with me and they are going to get screwed with. My attitude towards those people does not bother me at all because they deserve it. they've got the terms all wrong. They want something.... they give nothing. They can't follow simple terms. Random human crappiness seldom bothers me because it is genuine. Many people i come into contact with do not come by it honestly... they are trying to start a bunch of crap. They are... TRYING... to start a bunch of crap.

it's their problem, not mine. they start it, they need to be the ones to fix it. it's not anyone else's responsibility to fix other people's mistakes. They go into public situations thinking they know some stuff, they ought to be able to deal with the reactions they get.

reply to post by mugger


You have no idea!

I am mobility impairedand can't make it around our SuperWalmart without using one of their mobility carts. It is nothing for people to cut right in front of me, or just stand, with their cart, right in the middle of an aisle so there is no way for me to get past.

It is far from being just other customers either, when shelves are being stocked, the employees leave stacks of boxes completely blocking aisles, leaving an obstacle course for any one that can't squeeze through a 15" space, or stay kneeling in the middle of the aisle when politely asked to excuse someone to pass, and then give you a dirty look for asking. There have been times that I have just left because I would rather shop at another time rather than give anyone the piece of my mind that I wanted to give at the time.

One other thing concerning the mobility carts, if all of the people that use them would plug them in when they were done with them, then maybe they would stay charged. Some of us really need them, and can't shop without them.

Originally posted by KingAtlas
reply to post by ILikeStars

 

That made me laugh...

I almost never go to walmart. But I must admit I did go there when Skyrim came out, cashier was cool, people were alright.

This is my first day back on ATS since I bought SKyrim BTW... OMG back to Skyrim....

Skyrim is the reason I was at Walmart, too. ... Well, that and some compulsive buying of 4 additional items, that is. I just started playing Skyrim yesterday.

reply to post by mugger
You're right about the ignorant manners in stores. It's not even the younger guys in their teens, it's those in their late 20s - 50s. The ones who are old enough to know better and clearly don't give a damn about being polite or being aware of other people in the place.

Clustered up in the centre of an aisle whilst they talk loudly about BS and have other shoppers walking around to avoid them. Blocking the shelves as they drool mindlessly over which brand of cheese slices to get. Knocking clothes off racks and not bothering to pick them up?! Shopping is getting like jungle warfare - go in hostile, complete the mission quickly and evacuate.

Two weeks ago, 7AM and I'm queuing to use the self-service tills. Bad mood, broken tills and it's early. Some fat SOB walked past the queue of 3 and went to pay. I shouted at the guy. "Excuse me? This is a queue here!" He looked at me and considered ignoring me. I was on my toes - maybe the clenched fist and throbbing veins put him off? "Sorry" he said and got in the queue.

Manners should be opening doors, stepping aside for others and if someone has one or two items, let them go ahead of you if you have dozens. Oh yeah, smile at the checkout and look them in the eye. Like this >

Originally posted by mugger
I have also been scolded for opening a door for ,usually women. Frowns, been told, I can do that myself(in disgust).
My reply," since you do not want me to be courteous to you, please remind me, if I ever see you again to be rude to you." and Smile and say you are Welcome.

I have aften had that same response when I hold a door for someone also. My response to them has always been, "I was raised to be a gentleman, and I shall always remain one, even when I am not dealing with a lady/gentleman. Have a good day."

I stay polite and still make my point.

Originally posted by gamesmaster63
reply to post by mugger

 

You have no idea!

I am mobility impairedand can't make it around our SuperWalmart without using one of their mobility carts. It is nothing for people to cut right in front of me, or just stand, with their cart, right in the middle of an aisle so there is no way for me to get past.

It is far from being just other customers either, when shelves are being stocked, the employees leave stacks of boxes completely blocking aisles, leaving an obstacle course for any one that can't squeeze through a 15" space, or stay kneeling in the middle of the aisle when politely asked to excuse someone to pass, and then give you a dirty look for asking. There have been times that I have just left because I would rather shop at another time rather than give anyone the piece of my mind that I wanted to give at the time.

One other thing concerning the mobility carts, if all of the people that use them would plug them in when they were done with them, then maybe they would stay charged. Some of us really need them, and can't shop without them.

some of the employees do that on purpose because they think it will discourage shoppers from going down that isle.

they do not know me at all.

here's what you should do since you cannot get up and finagle around all that stuff. You need a store manager or shopping assistant employed by walmart to assist you. I GUARANTEE you that if you pursue this, that will stop happening because the managers will begin making it a point to tell new hires not to block isle because they do not want to get called.

yes, I know it may take some patience but take a deep breath and go get assistance. you will fell much better when you get home. You will not have to feel like you are being slighted when you go into public, you will realize that the problem is not you, it is because other people are unhappy or doing things the wrong way. You try to get them to do things the right way.... there is nothing wrong with that if they want to present themselves as a 24 hour store to get your business. I also want to say that I try to get out of their way any time I see them with a pallet jack or anything like that and i worked in distribution long enough to know that being neat with pallets and boxes is not only better safety but it is more efficient and they are taught these considerations in training but some do not want to take the time to put it into effect. if they were not trained, then some walmarts must seriously slack on training compared to others.

Originally posted by mugger
reply to post by satron

 

If you treat me like an arse, you get treated like one back. If you treat me with mutual respect, you receive that back also.

This is one place where we differ, I will always try to treat others with respect.

As far as I am concerned, if you wish to gain respect, you must first give respect.

Originally posted by moonweed
ya ever notice the majority of people that block the aisles in walmart, etc...are usually excessively overweight...have at least 1 screaming kid with them ( the one with the chocolate ice cream all over their face and shirt)....at least half of them are using the motorized carts, and are too stupid to move out of anyone's way....next time you see one of those carts sitting unattended....flatten the tires....that way they won't beat you to the checkout stand

I believe that this post wonderfully exemplifies the type of outrageous rudeness that the OP was talking about.

If you had any respect for yourself or others you would not make such ignorant statements.

Due to my self-respect I will not say what I actually feel and will just say, "Have a good day."

Originally posted by gamesmaster63

Originally posted by mugger
reply to post by satron

 

If you treat me like an arse, you get treated like one back. If you treat me with mutual respect, you receive that back also.

This is one place where we differ, I will always try to treat others with respect.

As far as I am concerned, if you wish to gain respect, you must first give respect.

I am of the mindset that if you see a problem and do nothing, you are now at fault for that problem because you helped it perpetuate. some... and perhaps you.. will suggest that there is a way to put a stop to things without losing your cool and you may often be right.

What if the problem is way too many people gauging your cool... or other things they should not be gauging?

Keep your cool? Oh, now the game is done and they have won.

Sometimes, it's all about pushing that envelope right to the line.
It can be the most important thing in the world at times. Losing your cool.
It signals to others (or is supposed to) to stop pushing you. If they do not pick up on this, you are not at fault for not warning them of potential reactions... because some have clearly had enough, as much as their composition can physically stand.

Originally posted by amatrine
I was in frys today. I am in a wheelchair. This lady was talking on the cellphone and blocking my aisle. I said excuse me, she ignored me. I said it LOUDER, EXCUSE me, she moves even MORE in front of me not paying attention to me, thinking she actually moved. At this point I am getting mad, and she heard me under my breath and finally moved.

IN a wheelchair, I ALWAYS am ignored, but that was bad. Normally they walk out in front of me, expect me to give way for them , even though I am, there first. I am really treated as a second hand citizen.
Want to see what its like? Go to the store on a weekend, and use one of those electric carts and see how you are treated. People think because you are crippled they and their time is worth more than ours. We are expected to stop for them. .....
BTW , I dont block asisles. I am Using the aisles like everyone else. I have had people yell at me to move when I am getting something , because they want it at the same time, and since IM in a wheechair they assume I must be slower and SHOULD MOVE and let them get it first. ....Sickens me,.

edit on 19-11-2011 by amatrine because: (no reason given)

Amatrine,

It all comes down to respect, those that are physically capable think they deserve more respect than we who are not.

I learned from a disabled Mother that respect should be given to all. Everyone has something that they can contribute. Many times I have seen the "disabled" contribute far more then the able-bodied, usually because they have greater self-respect and have learned how to give of themselves.

Originally posted by gamesmaster63

Originally posted by amatrine
I was in frys today. I am in a wheelchair. This lady was talking on the cellphone and blocking my aisle. I said excuse me, she ignored me. I said it LOUDER, EXCUSE me, she moves even MORE in front of me not paying attention to me, thinking she actually moved. At this point I am getting mad, and she heard me under my breath and finally moved.

IN a wheelchair, I ALWAYS am ignored, but that was bad. Normally they walk out in front of me, expect me to give way for them , even though I am, there first. I am really treated as a second hand citizen.
Want to see what its like? Go to the store on a weekend, and use one of those electric carts and see how you are treated. People think because you are crippled they and their time is worth more than ours. We are expected to stop for them. .....
BTW , I dont block asisles. I am Using the aisles like everyone else. I have had people yell at me to move when I am getting something , because they want it at the same time, and since IM in a wheechair they assume I must be slower and SHOULD MOVE and let them get it first. ....Sickens me,.

edit on 19-11-2011 by amatrine because: (no reason given)

Amatrine,

It all comes down to respect, those that are physically capable think they deserve more respect than we who are not.

I learned from a disabled Mother that respect should be given to all. Everyone has something that they can contribute. Many times I have seen the "disabled" contribute far more then the able-bodied, usually because they have greater self-respect and have learned how to give of themselves.

I agree... It's never these people who start problems in walmart. sure you might actually have to walk around somebody at times, this is not a problem at all.

Originally posted by Tinman67
Simply,
1. Stay to the right of the isle, as you should (U.S.) on the road. Respect right of way and stop before entering main isles.

2 .Don't talk on your cell phone and then give me a dirty look like I'm listen to your conversation. If you are going to have a private conversation, go somewhere private.

Absolutely agree.

3. Being obese does not make you handicapped, perhaps the extra 20 or so feet you have to walk in the parking lot will help counteract some of the junk food and soda you are about to purchase on your "vision" card (food stamps). And why are you driving a new SUV if you can't afford to buy your own food????

I am obese, I am not handicapped because I am obese, I am obese because I am handicapped. It angers me when people assume things of this sort about others. Never assume, walk a mile in someone elses shows before you judge them.

I do not purchase junk food and soda with a "vision" card, nice term though. I eat healthy and properly portioned, some of us have medical conditions that also cause obesity. I still work and pay for myself.

I do agree about the new SUV if you can't afford your own food though.

I am willing to drive half an hour to avoid walking into Walmart. The company as destroyed too many small town, home owned stores.

The closest other shopping in my region is two-three hours away. So I shop at Wally-world or not at all.

I usually don't step foot into Wal-mart unless there is absolutely no other choice, which rarely happens and usually only happens when I'm on a road trip or out of town.

Not trying to pick on Wal-mart because I know there are some decent people who shop there, but Wal-mart really is the place to go if you want to take a good, hard look at America and Americans of today. If you haven't already entertained yourself meaninglessly, go to www.peopleofwalmart.com and take a good look.

Walmart is a cesspool 16 year old parents and uneducated grade school drop outs. You can't expect these types of people to have manners because they were probably never taught manners; most likely because their parents are only 15 years older then them as well. We live in a country where people have forgotten what the word "respect" means because there are no longer consequences for not having any. Actually, consequences are less and less these days anyway. When I was a 16, if I would've told my parents I got a girl pregnant it wouldn't have been a time to rejoice. Most American parents are happy when their 15 or 16 year old tells them they are pregnant, more government cheese on the way.

Sorry for the rant. All you teenage parents and high school drop outs feel free to begin your attacks. Yay

reply to post by mugger


Yeah, when someone disrespects you, just disrespect them back in a much more subtle, condescending manner. That's obviously the only solution.

Feels good, doesn't it? Your forum name suits you quite well.


Cheers,
Strype

I have spent the last 11 years working in the customer service industry or hospitality industy (hotel).

For 7 of those years I worked as a Casino runner in small Montana casinos, and you haven't seen rude until you have half-drunks losing their money in electronic machines. I learned quickly that the best way to keep losing customers from becoming angry is to be polite and nice to them.

Generally even the grumpiest of grumps will respond well to heartfelt sympathy and commiseration. Not all the time, but usually.

In the hospitality industry you have to deal with people who have flights cancelled, rental vehicles break down, roads closed, and just general bad days. Again, politenes and niceness are the way to win the day.

Just remember, even if you have to fake it, being nice spreads like creamy peanut butter. (Yeah, bad analogy)

LIke they say in 12 step programs, fake it 'til you make it.

Acting nice or happy causes you to be nicer or happier.

Originally posted by satron
People have been uncourteous throughout the ages, why do you think it's worse now? Logically, if someone was been uncourteous to you, they had some reason behind their action, it wasn't just made up. They might even had regretted it later, and if they didn't and you're the one that's pissed off, well, who is worse off?

Not in record numbers like this "age".. Its all a culture/society thing. Look how the Japanese folks treat each other, in hard times. The reason behind the person being uncourteous is because they are a jerk, there is no other reason for that behavior. You seem like you may be one of these types we all dread, since your trying to make excuses for bad behavior and indecency.


U

Originally posted by gamesmaster63
I have spent the last 11 years working in the customer service industry or hospitality industy (hotel).

For 7 of those years I worked as a Casino runner in small Montana casinos, and you haven't seen rude until you have half-drunks losing their money in electronic machines. I learned quickly that the best way to keep losing customers from becoming angry is to be polite and nice to them.

Generally even the grumpiest of grumps will respond well to heartfelt sympathy and commiseration. Not all the time, but usually.

In the hospitality industry you have to deal with people who have flights cancelled, rental vehicles break down, roads closed, and just general bad days. Again, politenes and niceness are the way to win the day.

Just remember, even if you have to fake it, being nice spreads like creamy peanut butter. (Yeah, bad analogy)

LIke they say in 12 step programs, fake it 'til you make it.

Acting nice or happy causes you to be nicer or happier.

yeah, but what if you wind up becoming the manager by faking it so well? Now you only have more reasons to stay employed amongst such misery.

If only I could list all the things I could have more firmly attached myself to if I had been more compliant.

I am not so much knocking the advice as I am trying to interject alternate circumstances of why there are times to block certain energies rather than accept them.

I have even considered others past attempts to subtly coach me into a more docile mindset despite the fact that I hurt no one. I do not hurt others but have been preened upon for all the wrong reasons. In resisting them, my reasons were not so shallow. I have seen the things that others have destroyed. I will not hand myself over to be softly destroyed from the inside... and to make it

to deserve something? to win the game? hmmm...
Are you acquainted with broken promises?

Originally posted by BlackSatinDancer
I am of the mindset that if you see a problem and do nothing, you are now at fault for that problem because you helped it perpetuate. some... and perhaps you.. will suggest that there is a way to put a stop to things without losing your cool and you may often be right.

What if the problem is way too many people gauging your cool... or other things they should not be gauging?

Keep your cool? Oh, now the game is done and they have won.

Sometimes, it's all about pushing that envelope right to the line.
It can be the most important thing in the world at times. Losing your cool.
It signals to others (or is supposed to) to stop pushing you. If they do not pick up on this, you are not at fault for not warning them of potential reactions... because some have clearly had enough, as much as their composition can physically stand.

edit on 20-11-2011 by BlackSatinDancer because: (no reason given)

I do not do nothing, but you don't have to be rude to accomplish things, you catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.

If you want to refer to it as a game, then I feel that I have won by keeping my cool when they have lost theirs.

Brother, I'm a vet, I was a free climber and a martial artist. I have pushed the envelope my entire life, there ain't no line.

If I feel that I need to let another know to stop pushing, I will let them know, no questions asked, no quarter given.

In most cases I am referring to unintentional rudeness, that should always be met with politeness.

Now intentional rudeness is a whole other thing, with those people I would generally agree with you.

Originally posted by BlackSatinDancer
yeah, but what if you wind up becoming the manager by faking it so well? Now you only have more reasons to stay employed amongst such misery.

If only I could list all the things I could have more firmly attached myself to if I had been more compliant.

Have been, still the same.

I am not so much knocking the advice as I am trying to interject alternate circumstances of why there are times to block certain energies rather than accept them.

You don't have to accept the energies, you block them with positive energy, not more negative.

I have even considered others past attempts to subtly coach me into a more docile mindset despite the fact that I hurt no one. I do not hurt others but have been preened upon for all the wrong reasons. In resisting them, my reasons were not so shallow. I have seen the things that others have destroyed. I will not hand myself over to be softly destroyed from the inside... and to make it

They can only destroy you if you allow it. Your energy is all your own, it grows or diminishes by your own efforts.

to deserve something? to win the game? hmmm...
Are you acquainted with broken promises?

edit on 20-11-2011 by BlackSatinDancer because: (no reason given)

You lost me on this one. Of course I'm acquainted with broken promises, that's why I try not to make any.