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Child support a fraud!??

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posted on Nov, 18 2011 @ 04:55 PM
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Originally posted by AnIntellectualRedneck
You want parental rights, then take parental responsibilities. When the child spends 3/4 of the time with the other parent, your main responsibility comes in with contributing financially.


I hear people say crap like this and I want to go postal. My wife and I split in 1991 with two young kids. When they were little I saw them every weekend driving 300mi each weekend since she saw fit to move them out-of-state without my permission. I worked my way up increasing my earnings just about every year and she would repeatedly drag me into court to get more. Whenever my kids needed anything they called me. Whenever they needed help with school they called me (despite the fact that she had gotten her teaching certification). Every little expense that came along she expected money from me over-and-above what she was receiving. When we split she was making about $45k/yr. Throughout the entire family court ordeal she was making $16k/yr working only 20hrs/month. I was paying her almost twice her gross earnings in child support PLUS paying all thie kids medical/dental insurance. And she had remarried and built a small horse farm.

When the economy up-ended my business of 9yrs crashed. Nevertheless, my daughter was hoping to start college and her mother refused to help her. I took out a loan so she could go to college and she lived there. I paid for her tuition, room, board, medical and miscellaneous. My current wife and I were on the verge of losing our house. I was buying diesel fuel 5gal at a time to keep our house heated (60deg). In our state, child support goes until the child is 25 if they are going to school fulltime. So my ex dragged me into court. I explained that I had paid for my daughter's college, that she was living at school AND working and that I was out of work since my business had failed. My ex's attorney (she always had an attorney though I couldn't afford one) told the judge that I wasn't working cause I didn't want to work. He said he found "1,500 jobs in my field on Monster" (which was an unabashed lie, of course). I explained that I was earnestly looking for a job and sending out over 100 resumes a month and working with three executive recruiters. There were no jobs. I mentioned that she worked 20hrs a month and was making only $16k/yr and had never worked more than that. Documents provided by her showed her annualized income potential was around $80k. I also pointed out that the Child Support Guidelines clearly state that ALL financial contributions are to be considered.

Judge didn't care. Said he didn't care what 'the mother' was doing, only what I was doing. Said I had to pay $2500 as partial 'arrears' and put me on Community Service for 8hrs/week (picking-up trash on the highway and far, far worse stuff). I couldn't come up with the $2500 and he had me cuffed and dragged off to jail.

These are just some of the highlights. If your a guy the court looks at you from the get-go as a criminal. Even if you had done right by your kids without fail their entire lives.

So shove your 3/4 time where the sun don't shine. It has nothing to do with time. It has to do with what you provide in total. She filled her personal bank account with the kids' money. They never so much as got an allowance growing up.



posted on Nov, 18 2011 @ 04:55 PM
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reply to post by milkyway12
 


OK. You're quick! You responded before I could edit!


Well, you brought up some very interesting research, but for the record the child support/alimony-type laws are not gender-specific.

Let's say that Sally is the "bread-winner" and Joe is a slug.

Same scenarios as what you describe above apply..

And Sally could end up paying both child support and alimony because Joe was in the dumps before they got married. He is now used to living in a higher-standard because of Sally.

The point is, there are cases where the reverse is true....so it ends up being the 50/50 or non-custodial parent or the one who has the history of supporting the family...regardless of gender... probably more commonplace now than ever? Right?


edit on 18-11-2011 by BurningSpearess because: (no reason given)



posted on Nov, 18 2011 @ 04:55 PM
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reply to post by g146541
 


Hahaha! quit leeching my brain! I'm not sure how much is left............


It's all a sucession of steps that you feel like you have to take in a relationship. In reality, the commitment can exist without the legal contract.

Is it societies way of protecting the woman who can't provide when the provider leaves? Is it an evil scheme fostered and pushed by feminist thinking (
BTW)? Don't know!

I have a neighbor who is a professional female, had a husband who had no real income, while hers was quite high. He walked after a 10 year marriage with 250k in equity from the home they shared, and just recently went after her pension for 100k successfully. They have been divorced for five years, and this guy still doesn't have a job!

What I'm trying to illustrate, is that it goes both ways for men and women. It is just an equation, especially in CA where it is a no fault divorce state.

Avoid the financial contract!!!!!!!
edit on 18-11-2011 by sixswornsermon because: sp, of course



posted on Nov, 18 2011 @ 05:01 PM
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reply to post by BurningSpearess
 


It shouldnt happen to neither parent. They both should be able to live a life comfortably after a divorce according to their works. Paying 50-60% of your income after taxes to the woman you divorced would suck horribly and would make me want to assassinate her , yes im messed up in the head. IEDs do that


My brother also pays child support , his ex lives with her parents and doesnt work. She lives off his child support and her parents buy Caden things he needs or Jeremy will get it for him. Pisses me off in a massive degree.
edit on 04/30/2011 by milkyway12 because: (no reason given)



posted on Nov, 18 2011 @ 05:05 PM
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reply to post by jtma508
 



When the economy up-ended my business of 9yrs crashed. Nevertheless, my daughter was hoping to start college and her mother refused to help her. I took out a loan so she could go to college and she lived there. I paid for her tuition, room, board, medical and miscellaneous


Sheesh! It really sounds like you went well beyond the normal expectations, and like you really care. I'm sorry you got jerked around like that....



posted on Nov, 18 2011 @ 05:10 PM
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This country needs a revolution. That is what it needs. Cant believe i enjoy saying i fight for America because we are the greatest representation of freedom .......... my ass.

Wow JTMAN , i hope your daughter is very gracious for what you did for her as well as your other children.
I suggest people write to their governors , im seriously going to send mine an email and let him have it. This is wrongful enslavement , the law should be changed that child support is for the BABY (Child). The mother can support herself , both parents should take on the responsibility of their own life while the child should be the only one getting the money from the non-custodial parent. Such as gas / food / clothing. Taking 50-60% of one's income is gross , 20% a month would be the max. It doesnt cost much to provide the child with necessities. If the child wants extra she/he can ask the mother or the farther.

I have two family members paying child support , and i see both of their wives living off of the child support.
edit on 04/30/2011 by milkyway12 because: (no reason given)



posted on Nov, 18 2011 @ 06:15 PM
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reply to post by milkyway12
 


Both my kids love me and respect me without measure, thanks.

You can write until your wrist falls-off. Nothing will change. NOW will trot out statistics about wiomen with children in shelters, living in cars, etc. The problem is, the court lumps everyone together. Have I seen deadbeat dads in court? You bet your life. Have I seen guys dragged off to jail while the ex (standing next to her attorney) is dressed to the nines with a fresh manicure and hairdo? Oh yea. The guidelines already say that BOTH parents are financially responsible. But there is no enforcement. When the kids are small, yea, the mother needs to be home (although my kids came home to an empty house regularly when the oldest was 9). But there needs to be a system of accountability. There needs to be an equitable system. Why can she get child support, not have to pay taxes on it and use it in any way she chooses? While I get taxed on my gross income and cannot deduct child support as an expense? Why is both my and my (current) wife's income combined when determining child support but my ex's new hubby's income is exempt?

The system is corrupt, outrageously biased and a major FAIL. And people wonder why so many guys snap and kill their ex's.

edit on 18-11-2011 by jtma508 because: missed a couple words



posted on Nov, 18 2011 @ 07:47 PM
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reply to post by jtma508
 


You are right on par with that, except the killing part.
I just hope my ex gets run over by a train or something.
It's a rigged system. Fathers are looked at by their wallet, not how much they care about their children.

Edit: reread your post and agree with all of it.
edit on 18-11-2011 by Badkro because: add text



posted on Nov, 19 2011 @ 12:15 AM
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posted on Nov, 19 2011 @ 12:53 AM
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Next time at least provide the link where you copy pasted the OP.

childrens-justice.org...


also the 3 people who gave this book a review at Amazon gave it a 1 star


Weitzman falsified data and made numerous mathematical errors and faulty data gathering techniques to make her case that women and children suffer much worse financially after divorce than do divorced fathers. Feminist propaganda at its finest, which has been used to hurt many children and fathers.



The first reviewer is telling the truth. Weitzman hid data from other researchers for years while pushing her false "findings" in the media. She eventually caved under immense pressure and other researchers quickly found the flaws in her analysis. Her results were fake. Unfortunately, by the time this was proven, public policy had been dramatically influenced and the public propaganda campaign in support of the new policies had become an unstoppable freight train. The damage Weitzman's deceit caused is incalcuable.


www.amazon.com...

Just saying.

edit on 19-11-2011 by juveous because: (no reason given)



posted on Nov, 19 2011 @ 06:42 AM
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Child support needs to be reworked. As it is, the party who has custody reveives child support. But when the mother earns well and the father earns far less, then what little he pays in child support does not reach the children. When the children are with the father, the children have a significantly lower standard of living.



posted on Nov, 19 2011 @ 08:06 AM
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reply to post by BurningSpearess
 


Hahaha. I don't know what country you live in, but here in Amerika getting a mother to pay support is akin to pulling a hen's teeth. My ex never paid me a single dime and the courts refused repeatedly to prosecute her for it. I have raised my son's on my own since we were divorced while she travels the country doing whatever she pleases. When i was applying for support originally my Lawyer had to change the all the paperwork which came already labeled " the Mother" this "the mother" that. The system is completely skewered towards the mother. And as another part of the OP's post, I left the house in the first place because she would not quit hitting me when she got angry.



posted on Nov, 19 2011 @ 08:35 AM
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I wish there was a way we could bring this up with our law makers. They wont do anything unless you it push into their face and then some. It is totally unfair and unbalanced for the non-custodial parent. Something needs to be done. The kid should be getting all of the money the non-custodial parent pays because you should not have to purchase the custodial parent's time to raise their kid they helped bring into this world. It is starting to seem that the non-custodial parent , usually the farther , is responsible for his ex more so than his child.

If there is a group of men that are against the way Child Support , they need to contact more media outlets and plead their case to get into the public eye because i havnt heard the media mention about the unbalance and false policies that child support is based off of.
edit on 04/30/2011 by milkyway12 because: (no reason given)



posted on Nov, 19 2011 @ 10:23 AM
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I think that the CS recipient should keep records of all CS payments that are used and what ever is left over each month should be put in an account that can't be touched until the child is 18 yrs of age. The payments my sons mother receives are put on a card so records shouldn't be hard to keep track of.

I pay support for my youngest, my oldest sons mother understands my position and dropped support, she does fine without it. My ex-fiance (youngest sons mom) used my sons CS for her wedding (married the guy she left me for), I know because she told me that's what she needed it for. I was behind and asked her to grant me the "once in a lifetime" forgiveness that PA offers so I wouldn't go to jail for the $780 I owed. "I need that money for my wedding" she said.

That is why I believe the recipient should show proof, monthly, that the moneys are going towards the welfare of the child. Anything else should be saved for later in life.
edit on 19-11-2011 by kimish because: (no reason given)



posted on Nov, 19 2011 @ 11:52 AM
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reply to post by jtma508
 


I have several close friends whose situation is very close to yours. The system is very screwed up, and if their and your experiences are examples to go on the system totally favours the female. I know of women who play the system and are living on support from at least two guys.

I talked to one guy who was paying support to his ex and she was letting the kids run around hungry and in rags while she spent the money on drugs. Finally she got caught with drugs. Now you would think that the courts would take the kids away from her after the conviction, However in the courts infininte wisdom, because it was a first offense they let her keep the kids. So this guy went to his attorney and they came up with a rather unique way to make sure that she had to spend the support money on what the kids needed. They asked the court( and in this case the court agreed) if the support money could be paid in gift certificates from childrens clothing stores, grocery stores, etc..

I thought that this was a brilliant solution to the problem he had. Any way he eventually got custody of his kids because his ex got busted again.

The laws here in New York are quite draconian. With in the last couple of years there have been reports in the news about guys commiting suicide because their wives were divorcing them and taking the kids. They knew what happened in the court system and couldn't bare what was going to happen to them.

As an aside I know of a whole bunch of guys who stay on welfare so that they don't have to pay support to their ex"s



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