Here are some interesting uses of badass umbrellas...from wikipedia

For protection against attackers
In March 2011 media outlets reveled that French president Nicolas Sarkozy has started using a £10,000 armor-plated umbrella to protect him from attackers. Para Pactum (Latin for “Prepare for peace”) is a Kevlar-coated device made by The Real Cherbourg. It will be carried by a member of Sarkozy’s security team.[28]

As a weapon of attack
In 1978 Bulgarian dissident writer Georgi Markov was killed in London by a dose of ricin injected via a modified umbrella. The KGB is widely believed to have developed a modified umbrella that could deliver a deadly pellet.

Anyone of these would make me happy