LGBTuesday #1 - Why are all the gay guys so effeminate?

reply to post by Evanzsayz


Ok I'm a little tipsy so I won't take it back what I said but try to correct it a little...its not a fake word its a real word used by fake people.

reply to post by Evanzsayz


Ok, so seeing that ceaser no longer matters, lets tackle your Its disgusting comment.

Its simple: You dont have to think about me doing my boyfriend, just as I dont have to think about you doing your girlfriend! I think straight sex is DISGUSTING, and straights kissing is almost as revolting. You dont see me hating straights do you?

As for the mental disorder bit, Here is a list of people who disagree with you:

American Medical Association on Homosexuality
www.clgs.org...

American Psychiatric Association on Homosexuality
www.soulforce.org...

American Psychological Association on Homosexuality
www.apa.org...
www.apa.org...

American Psychoanalytic Association on Homosexuality
hem.passagen.se...

American Academy of Pediatrics on Homosexuality
www.clgs.org...

National Association of Social Workers on Homosexuality
www.socialworkers.org...

reply to post by tovenar

Personally, I think that homosexuality is often the result of difficulty with a person's sexual development. Maybe not always, but a very high number of adult homosexual males were molested as youngsters. Others had absentee or difficult father figures. Not all of them of course; but I think it's truer than it would be among the straight population.

I never had been molested, had a father that was no more or less involved than anybody else, and knew since my friends started to like girls that I liked guys. Leading research shows that it may be estrogen from the females womb that changes a gay mans brain in the part that is where sexual thoughts are controlled. I guess in that sense it IS a mental disorder.

reply to post by darkredfish

I don't think that sexual preference is a mental disorder. There may be something to it being hereditary to a degree, but the jury is out on that idea- it's still being researched.

Time was in the US- up to the mid-70's- that being gay was considered a mental disorder by psychiatry. I decided then & there that psychiatry was nonsense. I've had gay & bi friends since I was sixteen, & they all told me they were born that way. I've never thought that being bi or gay was anything but normal. Several of my friends were forced into mental hospitals by their parents once their orientation was discovered, with horrifying results (& there are families that still do this!). In each case, the friend left home, never to return. I couldn't blame them.

I have always thought that what most people consider 'masculine" or "feminine" are all too often the misnomers of culture- which change constantly over time. The important thing to remember always, is to be yourself.

reply to post by darkredfish


Sexuality as an outcome of placental chemicals?

Personally, I doubt it. Human sexuality is a constellation of thoughts and behaviors. We are not like simpler life-forms, where it is a simply matter of chemicals. Any time you get a whole group of complex behaviors in humans, it's safe to assume that personal cognition and social interaction play some meaningful role.

Some research was done in the 1980's (back when researchers could still get funding for such things) that correlated same-sex acts in mice with population pressure. I was thinking of this research when I said that I believe a person is only as gay, only as straight, as their most recent sexual behavior.

Is a gay person's fantasy of hertero sex as sign that they are latently straight? Is a straight person's homosexual fantasy a sign that they are a latent homosexual? See, those are all just labels and categories, with more of a political-social definition, than a personality-trait definition.

Real people are far more complex than that.

Perhaps I should have said earlier that I was thinking of the stereotypical "queen" when talking about gays I've known who told of being molested or of emotionally absent fathers. In a demographic that includes millions of people, you are going to meet just about every imaginable variation of human personality.

reply to post by tovenar


What you are talking about sounds a lot like this:
Kinsey Scale

I rate a 5 on this scale

and this too

It is so incredibly disgusting to hear so many people equate being effeminate to being "girly". People are people despite their gender. There is a whole spectrum of genders as well as people within those genders. Being an effeminate male does not make you "girly" because not all girls are effeminate. Being a masculine female does not make you "boyish" because not all men are masculine. Saying all gay men are effeminate is like saying all christians are just like Fred Phelps, or all white people are rich, or all black people steal. It is a stereo type. All stereo types are exaggerations based on prejudice.

Also the media always portrays gay men as yuppies & extremely effeminate (Will & Grace, GLEE...).

EVER HEARD OF BEARS? LEATHER DADDIES?

I am gender queer btw & am neither masculine nor feminine.

Nobody wants to be lonely.

As long as everybody would care for him/ herself without any prejudice towards others the world surely would be a better place.

By the way I have a gay member in my music band and he had a lot of fear talking about his sexuality (as he told us afterwards) and it took him some while before outing because he encountered some bad experiences before.

Nobody in our band had a problem with his outing but at the same time it destroyed many hopes from my girlfriend's best (female) friend who had a crush on him and didn't "notice any signs" before

There are degrees of everything though. Super effeminate guys are most likely gay. I've only encountered ONE such person in my life like that, who was actually straight.

But, I've also known several gay guys that I never would have guessed.

I myself am not a typical guy's guy...I don't like sports that much (though do watch the Super Bowl, and occasionally take in a baseball game for the local team), I'm not a big fan of beer (I'd rather drink wine or REAL drinks that don't taste like sea water)... Then again, I do love playing with power tools, can work on a car, etc. So I get that you don't have to be a certain type of guy to be straight, and I love women.

A lot of gay guys in my neck of the woods openly flaunt it,its as if its put on to fit a stereotype.....if being a homosexualmale is about lusting after maleswhy arent gay men the manliest around??? just the sameas why arent lesbians tryingto be a girly as they can???

Originally posted by ScottishBiker420
A lot of gay guys in my neck of the woods openly flaunt it, its as if its put on to fit a stereotype.....if being a homosexual male is about lusting after males why arent gay men the manliest around??? j

Did it ever occur to you - - you notice the ones who flaunt it - - - BECAUSE they flaunt it?

You don't notice the ones who don't - - because - - well - - they Don't.

reply to post by Annee


Yes,but its the practicallyoffensive in your face way of it,its put on,simply to fit in with the "Im as camp as get out,everyone look at me" and yes i am fully aware this is not all gay people,just like i am straight and would'nt be a suitable case study fora straight person,but there is a high number that match my previous post that are just deliberatly acting as girly and effeminate as possible to gain popularity with all the stupid sluts looking for a "fag hag",ya know the kinda gay that must see glee and use the word super and fabulous constantly,and try to capture the dumb LA blonde kinda persona.I dont personally have a problem with gays,hell do what ya like its a free(ish) world.But why do gays need gay pride marches,yet wedont have straight pride marches??

Originally posted by Gazrok
Then again, I do love playing with power tools, can work on a car, etc. So I get that you don't have to be a certain type of guy to be straight, and I love women.

Oh I love tools. My daughter does too - - but I didn't know that until I lived with her.

All tools - - not just power tools. I also love to move heavy furniture. Its about the science of it - - leverage - weight - etc. But - - you can have working on cars. I don't like the grease.

I'm tall 5' 8" - - but not attracted to tall model type men. I'm attracted to "solid on the ground" husky types (mountain men). My husband is a "solid on the ground" square built red haired Swede. And I love it.

Some stereotyping is just more obvious then others.

And before the Internet - - gays pretty much had to gather together to meet each other - - which made them stand out more.

Originally posted by ScottishBiker420
reply to post by Annee

 

Yes,but its the practically offensive in your face way of it,its put on,simply to fit in with the "Im as camp as get out,everyone look at me"

I'm not offended by it. I think its fun.

You need to consider that the problem of being offended is yours - - - not theirs.

Yes,but if i was talking loudly in a public place about a girl looking hot as f**k as she walked by,it would be viewed as females as perverted and seedy,yet i bet if a gay did it as a hot guy walked by then girls would find it amusing??

Originally posted by ScottishBiker420
Yes,but if i was talking loudly in a public place about a girl looking hot as f**k as she walked by,it would be viewed as females as perverted and seedy,yet i bet if a gay did it as a hot guy walked by then girls would find it amusing??

You are talking about a minority group that has had to develop their own culture and live on the fringe of society.

Who do you think is responsible for that?

As gays become more accepted in regular society - - the fringe culture will subside. Actually - its already happening.

There has been articles recently from prominent gays/lesbians on fear of losing the gay culture.