I'll give y'all a hint about this dude. In his pubescent years someone told him he had a chicken neck because he stands a certain way with his head back and his chin looks set back... and in the 80s he could have at times be seen with a trendy little bandanna tied around his neck to hide his chicken neck until he decided it was even more stupid looking.

I like trivia sometimes... it can reveal things, sometimes it's just fun to pick at people who start crap.

Originally posted by BlackSatinDancer

Originally posted by Turkenstein

Originally posted by BlackSatinDancer
he's not the only one he has greeting me. but other faces don't matter, they are just people but yeah, he has slaves in the system. most of them have no idea what is going on... obviously or they would question him.
I have to overlook so much, it's hard to function in society... period. I have to numb myself to triggers constantly. They got other people going with that stuff and it just ripples out. They demonized us.

Is english your first language? A lot of the crypto-isms are, in fact, just bad syntax. ex: first sentence

If you are talking about the title, common sense should let you know that in a short field, it's more important to get your point across than it is to play by grammar and vocabulary rules.

I get my point across... sometimes too well.

as for the cryptics... you are missing it silly. It's right under your nose.

I'm trying to fill in the blanks, and no the title is not what I was talking about. I find myself trying to determine between crypto-s and the ebonics. (Which parts to see as cryptic and which parts to see as bad grammar-ebonics



beleive me, I want to figure this out because of some things that I have seen.

I would like to address the person who spoke of the dragon and chasing him, alluding to your problem being of that ilk: many chase what is already in their minds giving them great pain, so what they are chasing is a relief from what isn't them and quite painful to have in their minds, as this intrusion would surely be.
To the OP, we live in a world of repetitive cycle and doubles, to obfuscate and misdirect and hide what really happened. Having said that, i always hope no one else was really forced to go through the same as the first, just to deny the first and blame the end on the first, while the middle escapades get away free and faultless. But this has become a blame game of hate, so I would not doubt it at all if it were so.
The ram exists, and yes, he has risen, a very long time ago. I do not think, though I wish it were so, that it is to rescue or save anyone or anything, but only to excuse his actions because he enjoys doing what he enjoys, and to make a case for the devil's innocence and provide a cause that he was greater than good, for the good was his excuse for being evil, and caused more suffering just for the fact good existed--was the excuse for the evil.
The AC has m in it, and peace is not what peace is defined as in the dictionary, but I am sure you already know that.

Originally posted by BlackSatinDancer
He is no dummy but he started digging into secret intel after climbing ladders and he understand the anatomy and psychology of a person WELL.

Then he found things that really screwed with his head. Not only has he pulled this into reality by his own imagination and paranoia of all of it, but somebody else knew it would happen well before that.... and that is who visited me when I was five. So looking back, he could exploit those triggers in me because he knew that I knew that it was all real.... because I have seen it with my own eyes.

You can't beat Xezbeth if you already let him in. Even if by accident.

Originally posted by Turkenstein

Originally posted by BlackSatinDancer

Originally posted by Turkenstein

Originally posted by BlackSatinDancer
he's not the only one he has greeting me. but other faces don't matter, they are just people but yeah, he has slaves in the system. most of them have no idea what is going on... obviously or they would question him.
I have to overlook so much, it's hard to function in society... period. I have to numb myself to triggers constantly. They got other people going with that stuff and it just ripples out. They demonized us.

Is english your first language? A lot of the crypto-isms are, in fact, just bad syntax. ex: first sentence

If you are talking about the title, common sense should let you know that in a short field, it's more important to get your point across than it is to play by grammar and vocabulary rules.

I get my point across... sometimes too well.

as for the cryptics... you are missing it silly. It's right under your nose.

I'm trying to fill in the blanks, and no the title is not what I was talking about. I find myself trying to determine between crypto-s and the ebonics. (Which parts to see as cryptic and which parts to see as bad grammar-ebonics



beleive me, I want to figure this out because of some things that I have seen.

You lost me because I wasn't really adding too much slang into the first post so I'm not real sure what you're hoping to accomplish here by critiquing my grammar. I made it very clear that some would not understand. Is this what you were trying to say... That you don't understand?

Maybe you should just try mentioning what YOU have experienced because I do know how to talk and if I sometimes choose to use slang, I think you should respect the fact that people come from different cultures and I grew up around a lot of other funny talking people of all kinds and we seem to be pretty proud of it... and quite frankly, sometimes it's faster to spit your point out with slang.

Now sometimes I feel pressed for time and maybe make hasty posts and forget to mention certain things that would make my points more clear, but I have written books worth of very coherent and thought provoking material to people and many have told me things like "You write very well" and "I can tell you are very smart by the way you write"
I get told stuff like this a lot and have ever since I was quite young so I really don't see how your statement is really... pertinent?

I'll also mention that no one is helping me write this and tell the very complex and nearly surreal stories that I have to tell.... because, well... this is my life. People mess with me and I will react and I know I am not the only one who has been jerked around by people.

If you're not helping shed light... You're not doing the work so maybe you should put something out there to prove YOU can write and have the right to be critiquing others... how about that?

"Pleased to meet you
Hope you guess my name
But what's puzzling you
Is the nature of my game"

You try to only subscribe to certainty despite all the things you might have not quite gotten right, to the point where you are such a stickler it's hard for you to get along with people who do even small weird things... questioning, questioning, never trusting.

It doesn't matter though... some things become apparent and others begin confirming it... people who seem both good and bad and then you realize that some things you can certainly hold to be true... and that is what you hold on to... and those true things guide you... you start getting reminders that you are not along despite it is a darkened path where others try to keep very quiet... like watchers in the woods, we are not walking freely in life because we feel we can't and we know something is on this path with us that doesn't like us very much and it's speaking our language. We are out exploring and dropping clues for each other. Some of those clues you find are poison because someone else has started doing it too... just further confirming the path.

It isn't a code, it's more like leaps of faith from tree to tree... and finding the hairs of fellow leapers... but it's not as simple as that... it's like the hairs were charged with how they felt or what they were doing at the time... whether they were happy or sad... every hair begins to tell a story and everything else on the path confirms exactly that from hopes to fears of what is happening, you see these things all around happening to people, being done by people and they can get very confusing with what is going on in their brains but their vibes tell all sorts of things about them, not in words... but you start reading them and know there is something underneath that they are not making clear to you. You can't just guess what they are up to, but certain things confirms their intentions are loaded or persecuting- whatever the case may... and the path just keeps going and going.

It's just undertalk about twisted things that don't happen to everyone all the time. It is being into your game. Your history, your past, your future, your relationships, your connections with others... sometimes it's just really weird.

Most things are NOT conclusive, but I built this upon a leap of faith... therefore, this was a lot about me needing to put something out there, because even though I cannot be certain why... I know things have been put out there for me even if they were not direct... because sometimes you can't figure out how to be... so you have to get creative. now that I have put this out there... I will see not just what unfolds in the thread, but what happens in other details as well. I may very well notice a change in something. Why do I think this.... because I keep saying over and over and over and over and over.....

I don't know who they are exactly all the time... BUT THEY ARE OUT THERE.

All up in my ESP, relaxing their tongues, not signing anything in black and white, trying to decide for themselves if telepathy is real.

no, they are not just speaking to my head. Sometimes I think i just pick up on a lot of others feelings... especially certain individuals.... but ACTUAL stuff. Yeah, I get actual stuff left for me a lot and it has meaning that is not necessarily confusing to me, but would take way too long to explain to anyone else as it happens.

You know I followed everything you wrote, until now, and your laughing....because this is the thing... What you describe some really experience and they don't laugh at it if they are really experiencing it. I would have been the first to say you weren't mentally ill, but what I find now is you may, in fact, just be making fun of those who have similar thoughts, while claiming them as your own and no one elses. Perhaps I am wrong, would certainly hope so, because to make and take others experiences away who are valid, only to make them invalid by your portrayal of them, and then seeming to see it as something amusing, is horribly cruel. If you are trying to find amusement in something that is the opposite in order to survive it, I can understand that. But otherwise, to obfuscate in this way and laugh at it while others suffer under the true brunt of it will only affect your own karma.

Originally posted by BlackSatinDancer
More and more you start noticing that undertalk everywhere you go and it really starts messing with your head. You're not the only one though. Somewhere within the never ending chatter there is a coherency that is above it and holds your attention.

Fear lives in darkness. By saying the words out loud, you bring it out into the light. The fear loses all its power and the light shines brighter.
Sometimes that light isn't only for yourself, but also for others who only needed to know that there was another faintly glowing light on the path.

Regardless of the reactions and opinions of the watchers and the participators, keep right on bringing the words into the light.

And that's all I have to say 'bout that, because words aren't adequate right now.

"Fear lives in darkness. By saying the words out loud, you bring it out into the light. The fear loses all its power and the light shines brighter." - idunno12

Dear idunno12,
First off I would like to share that 12 is the thing that comes between 11 and 13.

Can a "u" make the same sound as "oo"?
Can a "c" make the same sound as a "k"?
Does anybody actually hear an "a" sound in the word "fear"?

Fear can be many things to include excuses.

"Look I Fear" .... which is why every angelic messenger in the holy books began with "Be not afraid".

LOOK I FEAR could be written as: LUCIFER

Just an observation. Maybe, maybe not.

Numbers are words, words are images, none makes sense yet it does at the same time.

I can honestly say some of what you said made sense, other parts didn't and I have no idea why I was compelled to write the above sentence either.

Crazy. Or is it?

Originally posted by tetra50.

I am in no way laughing at anyone anymore than they have laughed at ME. I don't know what you are talking about. I do laugh a lot but I am not laughing at others misfortune, ABSOLUTELY not, I don't even know where you are getting this unless laughter itself makes you uncomfortable. I'm not trying to be mean but maybe that perspective is mostly about you. I will admit that I am much less sensitive to things than I once was... and I am still pretty sensitive, but after people have given you so much crap and even I have torn my own mind to pieces looking for some semblance of truth, you really start having to take some strange, absurdly ironic things with a little bit of laughter.

If you are referring to my comment about the chicken neck thing, I hardly EVER pick on people. I used to think this man was pretty handsome until I started seeing his horns, I actually thought the chicken neck thing was kinda cute because it showed how vulnerable and sensitive he was. now I don't know if he is merely playing his role, because he knows it, he knows this. He knows the whole story about how people are not truly evil inside but they get caught up in circumstance, think they do right when actually they do wrong. i think if this man is falling into this position, it will not be his murderous ways that seal his fate, because I really don't think he murders people. I just think he is a very cunning liar and has a pronounced lack of faith that causes this compulsive tendency to manipulate everything around him in some way. It would not be, in his case, a huge onslaught that he managed with his own hands, but in a whirl wind of chaotic events after leading many others down a certain wrong path... he may make one small choice that sets some kind of monster into motion... this is why I am so concerned. No way does he think he is evil... no matter what side of this he is on. In one way or another, he is trying to rise above it. Either A) Something has changed his heart and displaced that deadly position and he is merely just playing the cards out to make others see that can of worms as well or B) His heart is still needing to change and stop him from doing something he may go on to do. I actually started considering that he was set up... the things that have happened to him, his family. He was somehow pulled into this as a mechanism of destruction... I thought he knew this & was ahead by intel SO WHAT'S WITH ALL THE BS HE IS DOING? Testing my temper? How much more clear can I get with all the very blunt obvious statements I have made to him ABOUT him, ABOUT this, ABOUT other things. Maybe everybody just thinks I'm a damn liar and don't mean crap about what I say, which is probably because their OWN mind is full of lies and this is what they know. They approach me in fear, in really dumb, boring underhanded ways... they screw it up and tell me it's my fault they don't know how to do things. I can't even read a damn wikipedia article about cross straight relations without them picking my brain on how I might feel about chiang kai shek. WHAT???


DO WHAT?

You would not believe the last stunt he pulled. I could have ran his ass over right then and there. I was SHAKING I was so mad at how ANNOYED he made me with that crap. WHO THE HELL DOES HE THINK HE IS!!!? I swear I could have killed him, but I calmly let him know I did not want him near me and you know what... He had a problem with me getting mad about that!

EXCUSE ME MISTER STALKER INSULTING MY HONOR AT EVERY SINGLE TURN.

Holy crap these people are dense. Him and some of his group used to like to call me an aspie, which they think is high functioning autism, which clearly means they have no idea what it is... but they are so oblivious, they can't even see they are the shallow aspies who have just adjusted to society. This is what happens when they pour negativity into someone like me. They get the old MIRROR, cause THAT'S what they need to be studying.

ok, maybe I'll just sit here really still looking at no one or nothing, not moving a muscle so as to not have any BAD intentions... and THEN will see how much these geniuses figure out from me. They were supposed to learn something.... sometimes you gotta SHOW people THE HARD WAY. sometimes you gotta go to extremes to open people's eyes because they will continue thinking the worst in you, even if you have tried doing everything to the T, because of the garbage in their own hearts and minds.

Sorry, but some of these people really make me mad. They make me address THEIR fears with no compensation, like things are all my problem to fix. This is how people get it wrong at the root.

They have been given right answer after right answer, still they question someone who did nothing wrong rather than look within. You know the saying "keep your enemies close" this was for THEM. this was so they could still get to crucify someone without spilling any blood this time.

Is there anything we can help you with, BlackSatinDancer?