Life as viewed by Me

I guess people are never meant to be happy? We maybe happy today, but tomorrow we would be lonely. We may laugh today, but tomorrow we may cry. No matter how good we are towards others, how religious we are and good moral we possess, we would still  suffer the loneliness and problems in life. They say we would never be happy if we are not contented with what we have, yeah maybe yes, but how can we know if we are really contented in life? Had you known someone who is so contented in their life already? If they told you they are, are they really telling the truth? Do you know someone died peacefully and happy? If we believe in spirits, then if the spirit of this person who died saw his family weeping, would he still be happy? Would he be happy watching his loved ones weeping full of sorrow  and loneliness?? I guess humans will never be happy. You will never see a baby laughing after birth, the moment a baby was born he cries, why?  Maybe because he already knew that he was born to suffer the loneliness of life! 
Sorry for the rambling and bad english, I know it makes no sense whatsoever.  I'm not that bitter, just stating a fact

reply to post by WinnieDaWho



love the avatar....

I guess humans will never be happy. You will never see a baby laughing after birth, the moment a baby was born he cries, why? Maybe because he already knew that he was born to suffer the loneliness of life!

When a baby is in the womb it breaths fluid... when it comes into the world it has to change to breathing air.

This is a shock to the system.. Add to that, they are taken from a warm comfortable environment and forced through a little hole into a strange world, with loud noise, bright light and its freezing cold...

tell me if you suffered all that shock and trauma, when you were tucked up in your in bed one night.. would you laugh or cry?


just to add.. its so normal for a baby to cry after birth... if it doesnt then it is assumed there is something wrong with the baby..

What if we hang on to hell on earth ideology? That way all this misery makes sense and the little glimpse of happiness we do get is just a teaser for the next life after death ? But first we must taste the negativte to fully appreciate the positive ?


The secret to life ? Is to find the little beauty in all this misery

Have you ever read the story 'Teddy' from Salingers 'Nine Stories'? I like it because its kind of about how much bigger things are than our silly little lives and it also has this cool part where its about how we tend to be very sentimental about things like death.I have thought about happiness alot and asked myself similar things to your question.Salinger stuff is all over it.I find the book 'Franny and Zooey' is comforting.Kafka writes about this stuff too. I reckon your question has an 'absurdist' feel to it.Have you read about 'absurdism'? I dont think the question is silly,I think the source of happiness it is the only question.So you should read Teddy and Frannie and Zooey because I think they both attack your question as well as anything.

reply to post by WinnieDaWho

The crazy guy from House of 1000 corpses said it best "This? This is hell..." This is not a pretty place. The problem is that our government has the ability to make it all a little better, but instead they take it all away, everything they can. We just want to vacation, and see the world. Why do we stare at the f*kin TV? Because we dream of going to all those places, seeing the mountains, the ocean, DisneyWorld, etc.

Please dont take the cryng baby thing literally hehe. I posted this ramble because Im currently in deep crisis, and I posted it here cause I know you guys could give me some good advice, and thanks for all the advice, now I feel shy to why I even started a thread

reply to post by WinnieDaWho

If we believe in spirits, then if the spirit of this person who died saw his family weeping, would he still be happy? Would he be happy watching his loved ones weeping full of sorrow and loneliness??

They only weep because of the loss... i believe that spirit would still be very happy and content because he/she would know that life still exists beyond death.

Thus there is no loss, just a change in state...

I prefer contentment to happiness - never too 'up' so not so far to fall when things go wrong. My entire range of emotions is pretty much: contented, neutral, a bit miserable. This makes life a lot easier. Occasionally I'll step outside the range, but I pretty soon go back to it.

I visualise emotions as persons - Misery, for example, is very attentive and never leaves your side but Happiness is like the host at a party.

Happiness flits from guest to guest, giving each one a little attention before going off to attend to the next - that's if you're waiting for something to happen to make you happy.

If a person wants to take control and add to their store of contentment or happiness, it's not too difficult. Just find more things to delight in. See the beauty in a sunset or find joy in watching a small creature running about - anything to take your focus away from what can be relentless misery, or just a bad day.

Sometimes I just ask myself, am I warm, comfortable and well-fed at the moment? If the answer is 'yes' to all three things then I'm pretty much in a position to cope with life.

Originally posted by samlf3rd
reply to post by WinnieDaWho

 

The problem is that our government has the ability to make it all a little better, but instead they take it all away, everything they can. We just want to vacation, and see the world. Why do we stare at the f*kin TV? Because we dream of going to all those places, seeing the mountains, the ocean, DisneyWorld, etc.

So right, so right.... I am currently in a downward slope of my emotional cycle... All I can think of is "I am stuck here, I have nowhere to go, I want to leave, I have nowhere to go"

Because in reality, I can leave my house, get into my car, and go.....? The store? I don't want to buy anything. Restaurant? I have food at home. Bar? I can drown my sorrows in liquor safely at home. A park? Well, it's winter so everything is dead already, and most public outdoor places are forbidden to enter after sunset.

So I will sit on my couch, dreaming of quitting my job to travel the world... But the government says I have to work at a job.... to pay for the crap that i would not need if I was allowed to just BE.

I don't need a house, I don't need a family, I don't need a degree, I don't need ANYTHING, but unfortunately, since I think this way I am wrong.

Always going to be wrong

Life is hell, I already decided that at a young age... So the struggle is to not suffer. It's so easy to suffer. I wish that I could buy a piece of land and secede. But then they would just kill me

Originally posted by berenike

Sometimes I just ask myself, am I warm, comfortable and well-fed at the moment?  If the answer is 'yes' to all three things then I'm pretty much in a position to cope with life.

I'am warm and well fed but not comfortable, I'am not comfortable knowing my dad is already 54 years old, still working in the middle east living alone just to feed his family, my mom is 55 living with my brothers who still goes to college, my parents love each other so much but they can't be together, in their age they are supposed to take care of each other, they have been apart for almost 20 years, my dad visits us once a year if he got free plane ticket. I myself need to suffer away from them working in another country alone, what piss me off is that I cannot even help them that much because my pay is too low.. My
only wish is for my father to retire and stay with my mom, his been working all his life.

Originally posted by theovermensch
Have you ever read the story 'Teddy' from Salingers 'Nine Stories'? I like it because its kind of about how much bigger things are than our silly little lives and it also has this cool part where its about how we tend to be very sentimental about things like death.I have thought about happiness alot and asked myself similar things to your question.Salinger stuff is all over it.I find the book 'Franny and Zooey' is comforting.Kafka writes about this stuff too. I reckon your question has an 'absurdist' feel to it.Have you read about 'absurdism'? I dont think the question is silly,I think the source of happiness it is the only question.So you should read Teddy and Frannie and Zooey because I think they both attack your question as well as anything.

edit on 15-11-2011 by theovermensch because: typo

Thanks I just read it now, what happened to Teddy?

I meant physical comfort, but I understand where you are coming from.

I have problems too, which I won't bore you with, and they form the backdrop to my life. What I don't do is allow them to define me. What defines me is the way I deal with them and the way I live the rest of my life.

I can't offer you a solution to your situation, I can only offer the coping mechanisms that work for me. I just have to hope that they may be useful for someone else.

Life consists of so many trade-offs. If you have this, then you can't have that - which do you want the most? Your parents made a decision, and I do realise that there may not have been many choices available to them, and that is what defines their lives.

It's not a decision that many people would wish to make and it must have been tough for your parents. But, although they are apart physically, they may be rock solid on the inner levels. They may well feel that having the loving, caring son that you seem to be repays them for the years your father has been away.

What you ought not to do is let their situation rob you of the opportunity to find contentment in your day-to-day life.

When I started to write my post, I was going to suggest that people might learn to be happy with less, but as I wrote I realised that I was actually asking people to be happy with more.

To open up their horizons and allow more things to make them happy.

If someone, such as yourself, says that they can only be happy if one thing happens - in your case your parents being re-united, then they are closing the door to anything else that may give them some relief from the unhappiness that they feel.

Sure, watching a squirrel running around finding nuts isn't the same as getting a sparkly new Porsche, which some may want, but a moment's happiness is still a moment's happiness. In this world you have to make the most of the moment, because the system isn't stacked to make you happy.

I've given you a lot of thought this afternoon and hope that my post doesn't sound too glib. I've come a very long way from my dark days and the (perfectly legal) methods I've used to drag myself away from the crippling depressions and mood swings wouldn't suit everyone, so I don't recommend them.

As I said, I offer coping mechanisms. And, of course, my hopes for a brighter future for you and your family.

Thank you very much berenike, I will forever remember your advice, Thanks that there are people like you who can understand someone like me, thanks again have a nice day

reply to post by WinnieDaWho

I'am warm and well fed but not comfortable, I'am not comfortable knowing my dad is already 54 years old, still working in the middle east living alone just to feed his family, my mom is 55 living with my brothers who still goes to college, my parents love each other so much but they can't be together, in their age they are supposed to take care of each other, they have been apart for almost 20 years, my dad visits us once a year if he got free plane ticket. I myself need to suffer away from them working in another country alone, what piss me off is that I cannot even help them that much because my pay is too low.. My only wish is for my father to retire and stay with my mom, his been working all his life.

i have traveled around s.e asia quite extensively.. including the Philippines and i traveled mostly of the tourist trail. I seen first hand that your country can be a tough place to live and what your saying seems to be a common theme. i met many good people that work away and send money for their families.. especially girls that sell themselves for this purpose alone. it must be hard sometimes.
alot of people who live in the western world dont realise how good we have it here..

you and your father are both good men and i hope one day you find a solution, until then just try and stay positive and keep your head held high..

good luck mate..

Originally posted by Misterlondon
reply to post by WinnieDaWho

 

I'am warm and well fed but not comfortable, I'am not comfortable knowing my dad is already 54 years old, still working in the middle east living alone just to feed his family, my mom is 55 living with my brothers who still goes to college, my parents love each other so much but they can't be together, in their age they are supposed to take care of each other, they have been apart for almost 20 years, my dad visits us once a year if he got free plane ticket. I myself need to suffer away from them working in another country alone, what piss me off is that I cannot even help them that much because my pay is too low.. My only wish is for my father to retire and stay with my mom, his been working all his life.

i have traveled around s.e asia quite extensively.. including the Philippines and i traveled mostly of the tourist trail. I seen first hand that your country can be a tough place to live and what your saying seems to be a common theme. i met many good people that work away and send money for their families.. especially girls that sell themselves for this purpose alone. it must be hard sometimes.
alot of people who live in the western world dont realise how good we have it here..

you and your father are both good men and i hope one day you find a solution, until then just try and stay positive and keep your head held high..

good luck mate..

Hope u find solution soon. Good for u.