So John Kerry starts his career by voluntarily enlisting in the military. However in an effort to ensure he can get "combt experience" without
jepordising his future, he signs up for what was at the time of his enlistment the safest job in the Military (barring REMF posts) The so called swift
boats. Shortly after, to our antiheroes dismay, the duties assigned to the swiftboats is changed, which means that far from the safest it has now
become one of the most dabgerous. Whats our lovable richboy antihero to do? Why what any blueblooded born politician would. He overreacts to minor
injuries and in one notable case injured himself to quickly amass the three combat injuries needed to give him a free pass away from the front lines.
Now young Mr Kerry is back on U.S. soil and ready to begin his movng with the wind ascent up the U.S. political ladder. First he tetifies before the
U.S. congress that american soldiers are war criminals and throws his purple hearts in the dirt ( proving what my pop always said about people not
valuing what they don't earn) He then Gets himself elected to senate where he spends the next 20 years voting against anything that might in any way
support our military. And now he wants to be president, well if thats not scandal I don't know what is.
Not to mention speaking out against SUV's, but owning many (oh, don't worry, they're his wives...) His seven multi-million dollar mansions, his
fake purple hearts (Throws a grenade into a rice patty, explodes, hits him in the butt...how heroic), Joined the war, came home, PROTESTED that very
same war, married the ketchup girl thus getting rich...and many, many, MANY more.