Problem #1 commences and results in the expulsion from a really nice place, like getting caught smoking a cigarette in a Starbucks.

Once, there was one. It was lonely.
Then, there were two.
The loneliness was gone, but two opinions clashed
The one wished only to obey a law.
The other thought the law was an ass and broke it.

Problem#2 gets rolling.

Two became 4 and things got more fractious.
Someone ate all the porridge up and now pops gets enraged.
Berates mom, blames the oldest and hits the youngest with his belt.
Oh, oh... video caught the whole thing.
Now it's on Youtube and dad's in deep doo doo.

Problem #3 is getting out of hand.

Then there were millions of them.
Gathering together, getting smart-alecky ideas.
Skin them alive. KillKillKillKillKill!
Take the bo-o-o-oty.
Love that bo-o-o-oty.
It's all about the bo-o-o-oty!

Problem # 4 and the bo-o-o-o-oty clock is at 5 minutes to midnight.

Then there were seven billions of them.
The bo-o-o-oty is getting harder to find.
Best stuff is oily black goo from dead dinosaurs and stuff.
It's all about the black goo now.
Gotta get all the goo!
KillKillKillKillKill for the black goo.

Problem #5

Then there were only 10 million.
The booty is worthless.
The black goo is way too icky.
Canned goods are nowhere to be found.
Flint knapping is such a chore.
Let's KillKillKillKillKill some more.

Problem #6???? Is there hope? Maybe... just maybe.

Then there were only four.
Just like before.
Go ahead, eat my porridge.
we can make more.
Hey honey, you look pretty.
Can we have some privacy here?

Masq, lol, I love this story!

It made me giggle, then made me go:

I loved this! SnF.

The sad thing is, it's not far from the truth and I wouldn't be surprised if in the end there were only 4 left.

For some reason tho, the black goo reminded me of yogg sothoth. Whos tentacles reaches across the world, spawning from the pentagon and into the banks.