posted on Nov, 12 2011 @ 09:30 PM
I knew when I was younger you and I had a connection. I wasn't sure what, or why, but we did. As I grew, my feelings changed. Things were chaotic,
but I knew you had my best interest at heart... or so I thought.
We began to disagree, it was peaceful at first, maybe a look, or something under my breath. Then we began to hate each other. I realized that I
wasn't who you wanted me to be, and you weren't either. My views changed. I couldn't trust.
I told you a secret, I was 8, and you didn't believe me. You told your friends my secret, and they told you to act. So many things were said, no one
was angry, but you. Now our looks became shorter. We no longer spoke. There were no words. Till the day they came to take me.
I had no hesitation. I wanted to go. I knew where I wasn't wanted. I didn't hate you, but I didn't understand. I asked around and found out that
you were troubled. Since you were young, and according to everyone, you were to much to handle.
I didn't know this when I was young, I couldn't ask. What would I say? Maybe I thought someone would see the signs and come forward, but no one
did.
We grew apart, and yet I still tried to reach out, Always wanting your love, and acceptance. I thought that maybe I didn't try enough. Maybe I
misunderstood. Could all the stories be wrong? Have I had had selective memory all these years? Why were there so many things that I couldn't
remember?
I have had it rough. I stopped asking questions and decided to make my own path, and ignore the one I originally walked on. I knew that this was
something that would hang over my head forever.
I don't talk about you. My kids don't know who you are, or what you look like. I don't mind it this way.
I think what if we saw you. What would I say? What if you passed away? Would I be sad?
With that said, I can say this, and I will send you this letter.
I love you, and though you have done me wrong, we will face each other one day. What will I do? I don't know. But maybe I will start with a hug, and
maybe right after, you can say your sorry.
I love you Mom, I wish you well. We will be together again.
Peace, NRE,