I've been having a lot of dreams about my husband lately.
It started with a dream that we were together in our home. Someone knocked on the door (a man) and I knew he wanted to kill him. I told him "No,
I'll get it" and opened the door. The man put a gun to my head, and then realized it was me and not him. The man shot my husband anyway. I went
through the feelings as if they had truly happened, the dream became a span of about six months... I went through the burial, having to face our
friends and family and their sympathy. At some point, he started talking to me (this gets to be a little like the movie What Dreams May Come) and it
would hurt me so bad when he would talk to me. All I wanted in the world was him back, finally he said he had to go forever and wouldn't talk to me
anymore....then I sensed the most profound loss I ever had in my life, and woke up crying, clutching my husband.
Every single night since then, I have had dreams that my husband had left, disappeared, or was incredibly angry at me. This morning I got up very
early before he woke up and sat at the couch with my laptop to do some work. Well, I fell asleep. I had a dream that I was on the couch, and fell
asleep (Dream within a dream). Then I had a dream that I was on the couch and my husband woke me up incredibly angry about some travel plans I had not
figured out. He never acts the way he did in the dream in person, and we have not been fighting lately. I got so upset that in the dream within a
dream I ran out the door and into the garden, I buried my head in the dirt and sobbed so hard. I realized "This must be a dream" and woke up within
the previous dream. I looked around, sure enough it was my living room and my couch, I wiped the tears from my eyes and did something I always do to
"check" if I am lucid. I dug my fingernails into my palms and felt pain. I sighed with relief and then enters my husband, incredibly mad at me once
again for something I didn't do correctly. I started sobbing again, thinking this was real, and trying to fix it. I got incredibly upset...then I
woke up on the couch (for real this time) with tears running down my face and in mid-sob. My husband came in and said that I was whimpering in my
sleep and didn't know if he should wake me or not.
These dreams upset me so badly, and are so vivid, they almost ruin my day. They are SO real. What is up with this!?!?



