I had this lucid type dream two days ago, that I struggled to get written down whenever I had a chance, and it makes for a strange and funny story! It is long, and I have it in three parts. I have no idea if anyone else would even enjoy reading it..... those who like trying to de-code dreams might..... I have had a friend tell me it struck cords within themself too.
So....I'm just throwing it out there.

Part one-


It’s midday, but dark out, I have the lamps on in the livingroom. It is raining and the wind is howling, making the shutters bang, making the doors shake in their frames at times......the climbing roses which cover the front of our house are swaying in front of the window and colored leaves fly in every direction.


I am alone, and have the day to rest.
I am a bit tired, but most of all, I am achy all over. I have had bad back pain, joint pain, fatigue, and am not sleeping well.


I decided to do a little self hypnosis session, to have an inner « check up » with myself and see if I can decipher what is going on with my body, and my mind- because my mind doesn’t feel at peace either.


I often do this using imagery, with various images I use depending upon my goal. One of the images I have is a house, or rather a very big mansion, which came up once and I adjusted it to my own tastes. I am very aware that in dreams, for the subconscious, houses symbolize the self, the mind. So when I explore things in the house, I am exploring my own mind.


I did my usual relaxation techniques, and once in a state in which my mind is active, but my body is essentially asleep (hard to describe this, I might even have sleep paralysis at that point), I suddenly had the idea to let the house appear not as I have purposely imagined it, but leave it to show up however it will. I wondered if that would leave the forms and meanings of symbols more « authentic » or more telling of my psychological nature then the one I have purposely created (a wonder of mixed materials, redwood and glass, a modern architechural style). I kept reminding myself, « Let it be as it IS ».


What followed was a really fascinating, educational, and at times, funny trip ! Like Alice in Wonderland..... a lucid dream like experience in which characters showed up and interacted with me, and things were shown and explained to me.


First the house rose before me. Instead of the redwood with huge glass windows, I see an older looking mansion in white stone- something of a castle. It has turrets on either side, and I notice that the turret on the left is taller than the one on the right.


« What the heck ? « I think, « It’s not even symetric ! » I don’t like that. I want symetry. Pfft, it’s not even the right side. It is my RIGHT foot that is bigger than my left ! (where did that come from ?)

It’s true, my right foot is almost a full size larger than my left. It makes buying shoes a hassel. But then I turn with my back to the house, as if I am the house looking outward (and I AM the house, I remember.....) . Yeah. It’s the right side.


I kind of keep wondering what that means (what are the sides again ? One is masculine, one is feminine, one is more powerful in me than the other ? I don’t remember....) but let it slip away as I observe the front porch. There are stone stairs coming up from two sides, with a large patio spanning the whole front of the building. But there is nothing here- no plants, no porch furniture or decoratives. I find myself grimacing at the starkness and immediately start to project some big pots and lush plants in various parts of it.....then remind myself, « Let it be as it IS »..... we’re on a mission of seeing truth, not dressing it up here !

The plants immediately fade. I sigh. This is what you show the world- a rather simple, empty and void outer appearence.


I look at the doors, for there are double doors, with these verticle thin long panes of glass in them, and in the shape of an arch. Above the doors is a large round window of stained glass, with what looks like a mandala. Ah, nice touch ! I think, and try to see what the colors and shapes in the mandala are (for I am on a quest for truth).

I see specific colors, and in some areas I see forms. I focus on the forms, which seem to be flowers..... I see white Lily’s, okay, I like that.....in the middle I see a large Sunflower. No ! A sunflower ??? How simplistic and rustic and plain ! It should be something more exotic, or at least classic....I start to see a stylized rose appear, a lotus, and then remember « Let it be as it IS »..... and they fade. The sunflower is the corresponding flower here- it is more me. I let go and acknowledge that. I might be a lot less complicated and « exotic » then I’d like to be. I almost feel relieved at that.


Inside, a large entry room, as one only sees in palaces and mansions. It has a staircase in front of me, and the carvings on the bannisters are very Art Nouveau, with rounded swirls and animals. I look around and know where the rooms are, but decide to investigate. To my left is a big doorway, which opens into a huge winter garden. I recognize the room ! This is modeled after a room in the mansion of the Lumière brothers in Lyon. The Lumières invented cinema, or moving pictures, in the 19th century. This room is absolutely lovely, filled with light (ironically, Lumière means Light in french ! Their name is appropriate for what they created). The stained glass in the ceiling has a magnificent design of a peacock with tail unfurled.






In this vision, however, there are plants and trees all over it. In the middle is a small pool, lined with dark volcanic-like rock. I know already that this is where I come to imagine relaxing and healing treatments. This room, I have seen many times. So I keep moving, to see what else I can discover that is not so familiar and might bring me revelations about myself.


So I head to a doorway which enters a huge room with large windows which look out to the back gardens- rolling green lawns and a forest at the edges. This room is a high ceilinged library, with a huge fireplace opposite the windows, and comfy chairs in between them. The walls are covered with books up to the ceiling.

« This is where I store information ! » I said.

« Yes. » a voice said, surprising me. I turned quickly to see I was not alone ! There was a man there. He was wearing one of those old fashioned silk robes, had his hair slicked back, was maybe mid forties or early fifties. He was smiling warmly at me.

« This is where you analyze and contemplate, weigh and examine. » he explained.

We sat down, I asked who he is. He explained-

« I am you of course, or a part of you. I am your reason, your logic. »

« So you can maybe help me figure out what is wrong with me ? Why I am feeling strange, and hurting ? »

He continued to smile in a very comforting way, « Yes..... but not entirely. The truth is not always logical or reasonable. I am only a part of who you are. I can miss important parts of the puzzle. It is sometimes more reasonable to come here after visiting the other parts. The real decisions are made here, about what to do, once « what is » has been established. »

« Then what else is here to visit ? »


« You have the next room on this floor, and then upstairs.... »

(continued)

« Upstairs is what ? »

The super consciousness- the ideals, the examples you raise high, those who you value and who can guide you, no matter where their consciousness actually resides now. »

« Should I go there ?? » I asked. « It would be reasonable to do so. » he replied.


I got up and walked further to the other side of the room, opposite the one I had entered by, and went through a doorway into a small hall. I followed the hall and came into a kitchen ! There was a woman there, a large black woman, wearing an apron. I recognized her as a character from « The Matrix ». My mind had borrowed the same character, the same actress, for this part ! She even offered me cookies.





Some of what we discussed gets fuzzy here, my memory is already lapsing. She brought up, in response to my questions about why I feel down, that I am not doing what I love.

What do I love to do ? I don’t know anymore. I told her I had even been thinking of selling my horse- I don’t ride her enough, and seem to have lost my passion for horsemanship. It doesn’t excite me anymore. I cannot afford a trailer, so cannot take her anywhere for rides in new places. I cannot take her to lessons, or clinics, in order to progress more in my skills or learn new things. But we have an ideal relationship- it is almost « psychic » the way we are in sync.


« So you love what you HAVE, but what do you DO that you love ? » I was confused.

« You love having her, you love having the relationship, you love the skills you have aquired..... but what do you DO that you love ? »

« I haven’t been « doing » much, » I admitted.

« You used to learn new things with her all the time. You researched and found techniques, movements, things to work on..... why do you not do that now ? »

This made me think. Of course there is more to learn and strive for. Why don’t I do so anymore ? I still such at flying lead changes, and my roping needs some serious hours of work.

« Because, » she explained, « you are not wanting to rock the boat ! You do not want to challenge her ! You love what you have so much, you avoid posing a challenge to her and causing moments of oppositionthat might threaten what you have!

You and her have come to some « agreements ». There are things she doesn’t like, which you agree to not propose or do, there are things YOU don’t like that she has agreed to not propose or do. »

I thought about it. It was true. That was the real secret to our peaceful working relationship.


« But....isn’t that good ? I mean, we respect each others desires, fears, likes and dislikes..... »

« That is when a relationship gets stable, yes...... and when it starts to become meaningless. It is exactly then that it starts to deteriorate because GROWTH is no longer happening. In other words, the more comfortable you are, the more you heart walks away- for it is always on the search for learning, expanding, growing. Challenge is a sign you are growing. Meaningful relationships are ones which are growing.»


This seemed to spread out in my mind like light, shining on all kinds of relationships even beyond the one with my horse......in almost all the relationships I had ever had, this seemed suddenly very clear.


I was left questioning what should I do next ? « You can sell that horse of yours, if you want, or keep it and get to work doing. Or you can find a whole new activity to grow in ! »

« Like what ? I need money..... »

She gave a hearty laugh, « Honey we all hear THAT request often from you ! But don ‘t you see ? You gotta figure out what you want the money FOR first ! How we gonna give you the amount you need if we don’ know what it is for, and how much and when ? You figure out what you gonna do, look up what you need exactly and we’ll arrange it ! But you gotta make up your mind first ! »


« But..... I don’t know within what range of possible activities I can consider ! »


She got close to me and held my upper arms with her hands, looking me in the eye-

« You can have what you need, and you will, and you always have, if you care to recognize it ! The only limits to consider are what you are willing to do and what you aren’t. What you are willing to put into it in terms of effort, time, focus, attention.......in other words- LOVE. »


Attention is love. I thought about it a moment. Made sense. People looking for attention- looking for love. It explains how people can be seeking either positive or even negative attention- the focus of attention from another is love.


I mentioned that I am looking to set off on a new career or educational choice- I’ve been considering getting training to be a vets assistant, an ambulance driver, a nurse.....Scuba diving is something I have been considering too, but all this just seems daunting in the amount of time, effort and money I’d have to invest.

(continued)

« That’s really the only thing you should be considering, » she replied, « ....how much of yourself are you willing to invest ? How much attention ? All these things and more you are capable of, but they will require different measures of attention and effort. »


« For nursing school, the entrance exams would be impossible for me to pass ! History, math, french ! –And all in french ! How can you say that is a possibility for me ??? »


She laughed again. « Look at the things you have already done that you once thought impossible for you ! You tend to misjudge your abilities...... or use that as an excuse to avoid doing thigns you don’t love.... » She said, raising her eyebrows at me knowlingly.


I lowered my head and inwardly admitted that some of these choices I don’t particularly feel drawn to. I never wanted to be a nurse and still don’t...... but there is a big nursing school here, so many people I know do it, and I was thinking maybe I’d LEARN to like it.


She must have heard my thoughts......oh yeah, she is part of my mind so I guess it doesn’t matter if I speak it in this dream, or think it !


She shook her head, « No, it don’t work like that, honey. These things are gonna be hard, from the beginning ! You need to be loving from the get-go, or you ain’t gonna make it ! »


It seems there was a long moment of silence while I let this all seep in. Then I told her about my store, and how much I loved that, and was it a mistake to sell it ?

She pointed out to me that if you love something MORE than yourself, that isn’t something you can do for a long time.

« You need to love- that is just the kind of person you are. You need to be sending it out to be happy. But you forget that in order to do that, you also have to be taking in ! Tell me this- if you exercise and do hard work, but stop eating, what’s going to happen ?? You goin’ to break down. You couldn’t keep up that pace, sweetie.

Consider that when you are thinking about what career or activity you want to start next. That’s fine for activities of short duration- a hobby you do once in a while that you put in a huge amount of love for a day or something. But if you wanna do it everyday, you can’t be passionate at that point of letting yourself go. »


I had an explosion of ideas come to me then, all the things I love to do and hadn’t considered a possibility- singing, dancing, painting, studying history, sociology, learning languages....... it was like a world opened up to me, and I had the criteria needed to consider and wiegh them, and make a choice.


« Should I go back to the library ? Make decisions with my Reason now ? » I asked.

« Hun, you can do whatever you want ! You might want to take trip upstairs first, make sure you got all your bases covered. »


« Oh..... upstairs.....where the ‘Ideals’ are ? »


« Um-hum. » She nodded. « You got your special lights and guides up there. You know you like to consult them often ! »


I felt confused. « I do ? » This whole experience was confusing ! Talking to others which were actually myself, where I can speak but it doesn’t matter much except to me....but then what is « me » ? I seem to be playing the part of me that is not all that informed on my self. This is getting more and more Alice-like in contemplation !


She gave me a hug, and patted my cheek. « Remember that LOVE ! »

She steered me out the doorway, coming back out into the front entrance room I had started in. She pointed at the stairway, and gave me a warm smile.


Still feeling a bit confused. I looked at the huge staircase, then turned to her-

« What is this exactly ? »

She sighed, and took a minute to answer, as if she was looking for the words.

« That’s your concience honey. That’s the higher part of your mind. You got a tendance to think that means it’s more « important » than all the rest. They up there tend to think that too ! » she rolled her eyes and laughed. « It’s just the goals you have chosen, whether you know it or not. »

I didn’t understand everything she said, but figured I’d digest it more later.

I turned to the stairs and began to ascend.
________________part 2

I’m trying to get the rest of that dream down before I forget. Yesterday those winds got worse and worse, on the news they say a hurricane whipped through this and three other regions ! The rain hasn’t stopped for three days, and there is serious flooding happening. It is not over and all the south east is on red alert.

But I live high on a mountaintop, so relatively untouched by most of that. Worried about my family members below though, and my daughter who had an accident yesterday and underwent emergency surgery. She’ll pull through though.

(continued)
So there I was, taking the steps of the stairs one by one. When I got to the top, there was a very large room there. It must have taken up all the top floor, and one whole wall was glass, again looking out over the back of the property. It was carpetted in blue, and looked somewhat like a meeting room- with just a few modern looking chairs and tables.

It was filled with people ! I saw a crowd of faces, but at this point, my memory gets fuzzier still- I was less lucid here. I have a sense that I knew intimately many of them, I think even my mother (who is passed away) was there, amongst other long dead relatives.



I don’t remember all that was said. There was much discussion, but only a few remarks stand out in my memory, mostly because they didn’t make sense to me and I couldn’t stop wondering what they meant. There was talk of a « mission » and the « plan ».



At one point I blurted out, « But you never gave me a watch ! » I have no idea why I said that. But the people looked surprised and a woman with short hair and glasses quickly replied, « You said you didn’t want one ! »



Everyone was silent and looked at me questioningly, as if I had just totally contradicted myself, and I looked at the floor, trying frantically to understand why I said that. I don’t wear watches- they break within 24 hours when I put them on. My mother in law used to give me one every Christmas and I have a collection of them in my drawers- all dead the first day. I don’t even think I like watches ! For the same reason I don’t recharge my cell phone much- I don’t like feeling bound in limits and fettered by others demands of me. I like to feel totally in the moment, and free to invest myself in it without distraction.



I also do not use a scale to keep tabs on my weight- I am afraid of being dependant upon it and not listening to how I feel and what my body says anymore. I can feel when I have put on or lost too much weight, and act accordingly. People who watch the scale seem to lose that ability and only trust the scale to know. Having a watch is like that- you lose the ability to follow your intuition about time.



So why was I complaining about not getting a watch ?? I keep thinking about this, and with the talk of some « plan », is it possible that I had (unbeknowst to « me » this obviously out of the loop part of my self) refused a timetable, or awareness of a deadline of some sort, in order to stay « in the moment » and focused on what I had to do, rather than focused in the future ? That sounds like something I’d do.



But my vague feelings also associate this with some presentation of honor or reward- as if a watch would have been some sort of official recognition. I am not sure though.



I wish the memory wasn’t fading so fast, there was more said. But for now, I find myself skipping to the end of the meeting, in which it seemed I was pretty sure to have remembered or collected all the info I needed for some decision making. I was about to descend and mentioned I was going to the library, or reasoning part.......I said, « There isn’t more to visit here, right ?? »



A few of them glanced at each other and one said, « Well..... there is the basement, of course..... ».



A basement ? I hadn’t been aware of that. I asked what is there ? Is it worth going to ?



I was told, « It’s the darker side...... the subconscious, the unconscious, depends how deep you go. «

« Could it be beneficial for me to go there ? »

They all seemed to not like the basement, by the way they acted.

« It’s..... where that which you don’t want goes. It is the « reject » or dumping area. Things sink down slowly and into the great void. Generally, there is no reason to go dragging them back up again if you have put them there. On the other hand, sometimes things are coming up from the great void, and rising for you. If they get stuck, or obstructed, from emerging out of the basement, that can cause you problems. It can cause health problems of all kinds, as they push to be born to your consciousness. »

The woman with the glasses and short hair shrugged. « It might be worth it to see what is near the surface and if anything is obstructed. »

Okay, I nodded. I will go then. I turned to go down the stairs again. As I descended, I took note that I did not say goodbye, or feel as surprised by my exchange with them- it seemed familiar- as if I do this often and am in constant contact with these guides anyway. Maybe the woman in the kitchen was right ?

Once at the bottom of the stairs, I intuitionally knew where to find the basement, as if I could see a map of the house in my head. (but of course, the house IS in my head, and my head is in the house.....).

I walked across the entryroom, and into the garden room again. In the back left hand corner was a hallway. In the hallway was a set of stairs going down into darkness. The walls in this hall were dark blue, with yellow stars everywhere. I started to step down into the darkness, unaware that the strangest part of my adventure was about to begin......

(cont.)
I descended into darkness, and at the bottom, came to a small hallway, which I recognized as being the basement of a friend of ours, who has made a replica of an irish pub in his, where he holds parties filled with lots of whiskey, beers, and games of darts.

But opening the door in front of me, I found a totally different interior.

The ceiling was rather low, and I could see pillars within a very big room. It was kind of dark, and I could not see how far back it stretched, nor where the walls were on the sides. It was a jumble of objects everywhere, dusty and cobwebbed in places- jam packed really.

Out of the maze in the darkness came stalking towards me.....







Dr. Miranda Bailey from Grey’s Anatomy !
In the series, she is a character of authoritarian and no-nonsense ball of energy, with a maternal like aura. She is straight to the point, and a bit intimidating, despite her short height. Her nickname is "The Nazi". She walked quickly and with force, as if she was very busy, looking me in the eye as she approached.

« Well look who is stopping by for a visit ! » She said with a touch of reproach, stopping in front of me and placing her hands on her hips, looking up at me.

I felt a bit flustered but also with an urge to laugh, seeing this tv character there, and one I actually find pretty humorous......but knowing she would not find it pleasing to be laughed at.

« I.....uh.....am trying to figure some things out ? » I said hesitantly.

« Um-hum. » she said with lips pursed, just continuing to stare at me as if she waited for me to say more, and yet knew it all already.

We faced each other in silence for a moment. Until she dropped her hands to her sides, turned quickly and said,

« Okay. I’ll give you a little tour. »

I began to look around as I took a couple steps forward. In front of me was piled many things, so many it was hard to register what all of them were, and I felt rushed so only the most obvious stuck in memory. I saw a spinning wheel, amongst a pile of things stacked up against a pillar. I looked to my right, next to the door I had just come in, and found a corner of the room which had been sort of fenced in with crates, with an opening in front. It had straw piled on the floor within, and sitting in the middle was a lamb. It just stared at me silently.

I was caught by surprise, not expecting to see anything else living in this darkness. In the fraction of a second, my mind was searching for the significance of a lamb in dreams and symbology. There is of course the Christian symbol of the Lamb, which just didn’t seem to hold any force when I thought of it- I am not religious. But I reasoned that even so, I come from a Judeo-Christian based society, so certain concepts could influence my subconscious content whether I consciously embrace them or not.


I considered a more general representation, on which the Christian usage was based, but with a more global meaning- gentleness, passivity, vulnerability.


But actually my very first thought before these had been –« Lucky ??? »

« Lucky » was the only lamb I have ever known up close, that a friend and I tried to save, after a mortal injury. At the place I board my own horse, this lamb, only a week old, had been trampled by a horse, and had a serious head injury. He was still able to move around and call out, but his mother rejected him and continued only to care for and nurse his twin brother.

We watched this for a couple days, and realized the mother instinctively knew his injury was serious, and her natural herd instincts directed her to not waste time trying to feed this lamb and burden the herd, but to let it die. My friend is a doctor, and neither her nor I could stand by and watch the poor thing die of neglect- we felt we had to try to save it.

We took turns keeping it at our houses, and had it on an IV the whole time. It had liquid dripping from it’s nose continually, that she thought was the brain fluid leaking-meaning the skull had been fractured. We stayed up nights to give it bottles, and the whole family became involved in caring for it. Our dog, Simba, became it’s maternal replacement. He slept with it curled between his paws, if it walked, he followed it and kept it clean by licking it. He protected it faithfully.

But despite all our efforts, Lucky wasn’t so lucky, and eventually died in my arms. It was very sad for me, even though I knew he didn’t stand much of chance of survival.

So when I saw this lamb, I naturally had Lucky jump to mind. But why would he be here ? Why would I be holding onto him in my subconscious ? I was rushed to keep moving, so I didn’t have time to contemplate further.

Bailey was already talking and gesturing with her arms as she walked, and I hadn’t been listening, so I rushed to keep up and pay attention.

(cont.)

« .......just don’t realize how much work there is to DO down here ! » she was ranting.

« Um.....upstairs they said there might be things I could learn here about why I’m not feeling well...... » I said, in a questioning tone.

She spun around and stopped.
« Oh yeah....she all babbling about love and ‘following what you love to do’ again ?
Huh, » she puffed out, « like that’s the END ALL of everything ! As if ! » she tilted her head and opened her eyes wide.

« If everyone just did whatever they love to do you’d have a lot more bodies ruined by things like substance abuse, overeating, cancer,......STD’s, for cryin’ out loud ! As if we need MORE of that ! »

I took a breath. « Well, actually, it was upstairs, on the second floor, the....superconscious ? The « ideals ».. ? »

Her jaw tightened, she inhaled deeply, and began shaking her head slowly from one side to the other, pursing out her lips again, as if trying to contain her emotions. She spoke slowly, in a controlled low tone, eyes lowered .

« You know, I understand the responsibility they have to carry and that they TRY to do it fairly. They THINK they’re being all just in their judgements all the time. But the fact is, they just don’t know # about others and REALITY ! » Now her eyes were on mine again, bugging out and putting emphasis on that last word, giving it a moment to sink in.

She shifted her weight to one side, turning slightly sideways to me, her chin jutting out in my direction, finger pointing at me.

« THEY don’t see the results of all that judging ! Down here, we’re dealing with the blood and guts and mess it creates ! » Her voice was progressively getting louder. « I get to hear the wails of pain, and try to put things back together, and sort out what should be saved and what should be left to be rejected ! That ain’t easy, and I’m overworked, and just plain FED UP with the amount of stupid decisions they come up with using their blinders on ! They don’t see anything other than what they consider ’important ‘ !

Do they even LISTEN to my memos and reports ? Do they even factor them into their calculations ? NO, they don’t !

Heads in the clouds...... that’s what they are.......which, mind you, I know we need- but THEY need to recognize that earth and others matter too, and in fact they wouldn’t be able to have that influence, or even EXIST if it wasn’t for us doing the dirty work down here !!! »

I felt a bit overwhelmed by this barrage of emotion and couldn’t make sense of it right away. I said nothing. She dropped her hand again, turned away in a gesture of powerlessness, and waved outwards. « You look around, see what grabs you. »


I looked in each direction walking slowly through this maze of darkness. Objects everywhere...... I remember seeing a full length mirror, covered in dust. She followed my eyes and said sarcastically, « You should be asking yourself why this is DOWN HERE ! Perfectly good and useful..... judged as 'useless ', of course. Another one of those things I gotta hold onto despite orders because I know it will be needed later, and I’ll have to send it up when it is .
Not that they will pay any attention when I do....... » she mumbled. « Or if they do, they’ll claim it was THEIR
idea ! »

I kept going deeper, and stopped at one point. It was getting darker and darker, and still, I could see no end to the room, it seemed to go on forever into blackness. She came up beside me and spoke gently-
« You probably shouldn’t go any deeper. »

I turned to her and asked « Why ? » -even though her statement felt right to me, intuitionally.

Her eyes softened and she faced me squarely. « You already did that. You been to the source before, and God only knows how you got back. We’re still talking about that miracle. There’s a lot of everything and nothing back there, and even you found out it isn’t worth focusing on it and getting caught up in it all. It doesn’t .....matter. »
She said that last word carefully, looking into my eyes like I should be grasping a deeper meaning to it.

But I felt stupider than stupid, and didn’t. I wasn’t about to admit that though.

« Listen, » she continued, « we have....a network down here. We keep in touch with other .....treatment stations. We get the orders from above, and we find what’s needed and take care of it. Upstairs, » she rolled her eyes upward, « they think we only have access to what is down here....on the surface. » she waved her arms around, indicating the room around us.

« But there is much, much more we can access, and pull together. We also respond to messages from other centers, and offer them what they require. That’s the part the ideals do not keep in mind- or don’t know. That’s why they get so confused as to why they don’t seem to have all the power they assume they should have ! There’s a lot more going on then what they THINK. »

(cont.)

Now I felt completely confused. I had no idea what she was talking about, but some part of me seemed to grasp it, in a vague wordless way. I knew.....but I didn’t.

I just exhaled loudly, and said, « I don’t know what I have learned here. I don’t know what any of this means...... Hell, I didn’t get any clear answers to why my back is hurting, why my fingers hurt, why I have an anxious feeling I can’t connect to anything ! This is supposed to be MY mind, and it is a mystery to me ! »

She answered, « Mind is.... » she looked around as if she was searching for words, « .....everywhere. » Then she reached forward and placed her hand on my abdomen. « It is also here. »

I held my breath, completely still, feeling like something was on the edge of my comprehension...... swimming up from the depths, I could almost see it, but not quite.

« Are you talking about.....the physical body ? Or the mind ? » I asked quietly.

Then she laughed, « BOTH ! One is in the other, which is in the one ! Now you go back to dealing with reality.....you have things to deal with, and things which will make sense later. »

Suddenly my eyes flew open, I was wide awake. I was still laying on my couch with a blanket over me, and the rain was still pounding on the windows, the lamps casting a warm orangey glow on the walls and book cases in the room. The whole dream was still clear in my mind and I was just astounded at the clarity and detail of it all.

Then the phone rang, and it was my husband calling to tell me our daughter had had an accident and was in the hospital, about to undergo surgery. I jumped up and got my stuff together to head out to see her, thinking no more about the dream.


I tried to keep it in memory as much as possible though, to write it down the next morning, and see if some of it could make sense to me once I wrote it. Actually, some of it did ! Some I forgot, but feel I was supposed to forget, for some reason.

Amazing...just simply amazing. I see in pictures when I read something, especially if it resonates with me. How rich and detailed your dream is. I am going to reread it, and keep following this thread.

For some reason, I "feel", there are lessons here for me Thank You for posting.