EMOTIONAL RESPONSIBILITY: stop being manipulated, be aware of your feelings and feel what you want!

I wrote another thread about being happy because we want, because we can.

link

Ill put things in a more simple way now.
Everyone wants to feel good and avoid feeling bad.
Feelings like joy, peace, compassion, love, fulfillment, security, there are a lot of positive feelings, this is positive energy.
Then there is all the negative feelings/negative energy: sadness, hate, anger, depression, desperation, suffering, loneliness, there are a lot of these.
Of course we have felt bad a lot!! And it hurts even more because we also have felt very good: oh i was so well, look how miserable i am now!!
What happens is that these are our emotions and we let our emotions be manipulated by forces we cant control, forces outside of ourselves.
We have believed that to feel good we need thing that we cant control, that are always temporary: sex, health, money, girls, job, whatever, you name it, there are millions of things we crave to be happy. And we are so dependent...
But they are not permanent, they always go away leaving us in the dark, with the bad feelings.
Its emotional manipulation.
You are happy and joyful, a guy comes and offends you, you get all angry, and that's when dark situations happen. Why? You could have stayed joyful, just don't let anyone, or anything manipulate what you feel.
Be aware of your emotions and control them, feel what you want, be emotionally responsible, emotions are energy, energy goes around and comes around, all the energy you put in this world affects you and others, and it will come back to you sooner or later.
My proposition to you is this: be aware of your emotions, control them, don't let anything or anyone control them but you, forget the uncontrollable, temporary sources of energy outside yourself, you are responsible.
It may have many names: emotional control, emotional power, emotional intelligence, emotional freedom, emotional responsibility.
And everything we do, it doesn't have to have the purpose of getting positive energy. You can create it yourself, you are responsible.
You do things because you want, because it feels right, because you want action, you want to help, whatever, but not to be fed with positive energy, you can create your own, you don't need outside forces to give you positive energy.
Be aware of your feelings, then feel what you want to feel. Don´t want to feel good? Fine, but at least, you do it consciously, you are responsible, you are in control of your energy. That's the energy you want to put in this world? Its your responsibility, it will come back to you.
Energy can be a weapon or a cure.
Do you think that when you hate someone, that your negative energy is not heading for its target (the person you hate)? It is. Maybe that person will go through the situation you so much wish them...
Be responsible for what you feel, stop being manipulated by others and by the world outside, be free.
Some people will say that there is dark and light, there is no stopping that, we are doomed to feel good and bad, we cant control it, its the way it is, we were designed that way...
I don't think so. We were designed to evolve from that duality game, where first you feel at the mercy of forces you cant control, you live and learn what bad vibes are, but your destiny is to free yourself from this game, transcend duality, be free, go back to the light with the power to create light/positive energy, knowing what negative energy is... To be independent in terms of positive energy creation, we can create it, it doesn't have to be given, to stop being dependent, to be free!
Then maybe you can stop the wheel of reincarnations on earth and go to another level of existence... (for those who believe in this)

True but it's so hard not to have negative feelings or not to get manipulated by things around us. Maybe all it takes is a conscious effort to be responsible. nice thread OP.

Originally posted by GroovyBohemian
True but it's so hard not to have negative feelings or not to get manipulated by things around us. Maybe all it takes is a conscious effort to be responsible. nice thread OP.

Be the observer!

Great post! I agree completely. We have a lot more power than we give ourselves credit for. We have to stop letting fear keep us in negative emotions. I'm not saying it's easy to confront fear especially at first, but it does get easier. It has done wonders in my life. Duality is an illusion. Some people have a hard time understanding what that means. Once you do understand it, you are set free! You are no longer a slave to depression, self-pity, insecurity, etc.

Originally posted by ManulaDo you think that when you hate someone, that your negative energy is not heading for its target (the person you hate)? It is.

It's not. If there is a spiritual body made up of energy then there must be an origin inside this body which generates this negative energy which is directed towards the part of the spiritual body which holds the memories of the person which is all in one's own brain. It's all you reacting to your own learned reactions to perceived energies, negative or positive.

Even if there was some kind of energetic carrier field like air is to speech, it must be a neutral medium like air. After all "I love you" and "I hate you" are merely vibrations in the air but it's meaning is something the listener attributes to the words which it has learned in life. Suppose the words didn't exist in our language, if an alien landed and started saying Love to anyone that person would not get it, have no reaction (or something like curiosity, fear, anxiety) and would not feel anything.

Because of how one thinks about another influences one's posture or attitude towards the other when around them it might be the other notices this through nonverbal language (like tiny muscle movements) and begins to act towards you like he/she believes they should act towards someone who holds a grugde against them in the case of a negative attitude. Unless this theory is stretched as to what memory is there's never any actual transference of energy. It's more like we all mimic each other's reactions and feelings and act accordingly to our conditioned responses or reactions. Great thread.

reply to post by Hitsuzen


And everything we do, it doesn't have to have the purpose of getting positive energy. You create it yourself, you are responsible.
You do things because you want, because it feels right, because you want action, you want to help, whatever, but not to be fed with positive energy, you can create your own, you don't need outside forces to give positive energy.
IMHO

reply to post by Dragonfly79


What you feel of a person can, and i mean can, influence them in a positive or negative way. This is what i believe.
But you might think otherwise, no problem.

reply to post by GroovyBohemian


Its hard not to be affected by things around you but its a challenge to be won IMHO.
And you can be affected in a positive way, when you feel compassion for a person suffering, its a great feeling, i love it, i feel alive, i feel connected, you don't have to get negative to be connected and to help.

Living from the Heart

6 heart virtues of LOVE, like a merkaba

Appreciation
Compassion
Forgiveness
Humility
Understanding
Valor

∞LOVE∞

reply to post by awake1234


You advertising that book... Writing that message in every thread...

reply to post by blazenresearcher


Yup, testify, be aware, detach from the drama, but act, understand the emotions that arise, make good use of them, they bring a message, but don't be at their mercy, its simple, no complication i guess.
Meditate on emotions!

Awaken to your life: Discovering the Buddhist Path of Attention

This is a wonderful book even if you are not a Buddhist, because it explains how people are victims to their habits. When you think of habit, you do not initially think of your thought patterns, but this helps you understand how to clear your mind when certain circumstances arise that make you feel a certain way, and help you feel a different way instead. If you stub your toe instead of cursing and getting angry, you learn how to laugh and be thankful that it was not worse, and it becomes second nature if you consciously practice it.

People who say that they are the way they are and that is just how it is, or it is because they are wired that way are using that as an excuse to allow themselves to be relieved of any responsibility. We have the ability to control our thoughts, emotions, and reactions to everything.

Think good thoughts upon others and they will return the favor for you whether you realize it or not. The universe has an abundance of good for everyone, we just need to learn how to tap into it.

Peace to everyone.

Your post seems to describe Vipassana: vimeo.com...

'Vipassana' the technique which S.N.Goenka teaches represents a tradition that is traced back to the Buddha. The Buddha never taught a sectarian religion; he taught Dhamma - the way to liberation - which is universal. In the same tradition, Mr. Goenka's approach is totally non-sectarian.

We are human beings and emotions, good or bad, are normal. How can one not be affected by our own or others suffering? How can you know there are starving children etc. and not be affected in some way? We can only strive to reach some semblance of balance and not become overwhelmed.

reply to post by Manula


What you speak of is truth, and it is a testament to the value of stepping outside of ourselves to witness our own reactions and thought processes. Some do this intentionally, but others do it without realizing it. However, I think it is a beneficial practice to know ourselves and make the changes within.
I have gotten myself lost at times because I have experienced this process exponentially, as in observing the observer, observing the observer, observing the observer...etc. Quite the trip!
Responsibility? Yes, to ourselves and others, imo.

Peace,
spec

Originally posted by Night Star
We are human beings and emotions, good or bad, are normal. How can one not be affected by our own or others suffering? How can you know there are starving children etc. and not be affected in some way? We can only strive to reach some semblance of balance and not become overwhelmed.

Everyone is effected by their emotions. Not everyone is controlled by them.

reply to post by Pentothal


The idea is to work your negative emotions to something positive, turn negative into positive.
Example: OMG i am going to be fired and i am terrified (awareness). But i will live by, its my actions that count, what happens to me doesn't matter, its what i make of it that matters, ill do my best no worries (relaxed and confident because he can control his actions, its his actions that are his responsibility, they are the ones that matter, so he is in control of what matters to him, no problem)

What happens is that these are our emotions and we let our emotions be manipulated by forces we cant control, forces outside of ourselves.

I know what you are saying, and for the most part I don't want to take away from the message of being aware of your feelings, but not to confuse this message with suppressing emotions, which is also what it sounds like.

Attachment becomes very autonomous at a young age and it isn't something so easy to unlearn, especially when your time is invested in it. Unless you are reminded of impermanence, trying to control the natural response to loss can be detrimental to your subconscious.

reply to post by juveous


Its not control, your initial reaction is what it is, fear, anger, whatever, but once you are aware, you understand where it comes from, you try to evolve from it, and turn it into something positive.
The idea is to work your negative emotions to something positive, turn negative into positive.
Example: OMG i am going to be fired and i am terrified (awareness). But i will live by, its my actions that count, what happens to me doesn't matter, its what i make of it that matters, ill do my best no worries (relaxed and confident because he can control his actions, its his actions that are his responsibility, they are the ones that matter, so he is in control of what matters to him, no problem)
So first we was terrified, then came awareness, then he realized he has nothing to fear but himself (his own actions) and he relaxed became confident while gaining some wise thoughts about life)
I think he turned a negative feeling (being terrified) into a positive feeling (more relaxed, confident and wise)

reply to post by juveous


I might not been clear. The initial response (feeling) to events in life arises, it cant be stopped, but once you are aware of your feeling you can change it all, in this way it is control because you don't let your emotions be out of control.