Smile

13 Reasons to Smile
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> Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own
> pants.
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> Marriage changes passion.
> Suddenly you're in bed with a relative.
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> I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it.
> So I said "Implants?" She hit me.
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> How come we choose from just two people to run for
> president and 50 for Miss America?
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> A good friend will come and bail you out of jail...but, a true friend will
> be sitting next to you saying, "Darn...that was fun!"
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> I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose-fitting
> clothing. If I HAD any loose-fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up
in
> the first place!
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> When I was young we used to go "skinny dipping," now I just "chunky dunk."
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> Don't argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able
> to tell the difference.
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> Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply
press
> 'Ctrl Alt Delete' and start all over? AMEN, AMEN !!
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> Why is it that our children can't read a Bible in school, but they can in
> prison?
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> Wouldn't you know it...
> Brain cells come and brain cells go, but FATcells live forever.
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> Why do I have to swear on the Bible in court when the Ten Commandments
> cannot be displayed in a federal building?
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> Bumper sticker of the year:
> "If you can read this, thank a teacher -and, since it's in English, thank
a
> soldier !!"
>

Originally posted by TrueLies

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> I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it.
> So I said "Implants?" She hit me.

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Ha Ha Ha Ha- that is brilliant lol