Confessing to strangers

I am not sure if this is the correct forum, but I was interested in the most unlikely strangers who people talk to when they feel abandoned/lonely. Who can one trust if there are issues that one doesnt wish to discuss with family members?
I only write this after seeing a British sitcom tonite where a lonely Californian woman ends up confessing to the pizza delivery person who obviously feels uncomfortable with the confession.
www.youtube.com...
(At 14.12.minutes)

I was in a corner a few years ago and ended up telling my woes to the telephone operator who worked for the cab company. After booking the cab I entered into a monologue about my anxieties. It was slightly embarrassing as a few years later I saw him and he informed me that he remembered all of the calls and hoped that I was feeling better.
I am not a church/mosque attender and so didnt have trust in a vicar/priest/imam etc...I didnt want to burden my doctor with my woes.

It seems that when people feel abandoned/isolated they confess to strangers who they would never entertain talking to in normal circumstances.

I suppose thats humans for you?

Maybe it's the crowd I hang out with, maybe it's the fact that they care about me and what I want to do with my life, but they listen to me. I can't tell you how many times I meet new people at this party house and from sexual deviant girls to guys tripping on acid, I've had many conversations that ended up with the human connection. We talk about a lot going on in our lives. The party house as it's dubbed is really a therapist house. We all nip the problems in the butt right away so there is no confrontation. I cannot think of a single person that I have met that are anywhere remotely like this group. Because they care for others and they don't mind sharing their feelings, how the day went, how we feel about life, the world.

I forgot what my point was.

reply to post by dr treg

Sometimes a complete stranger is best. You can be truthful for a stranger carries no pre - judgments about you. You get to hear yourself think about your issues which helps you decide if they are serious or "built up". And a stranger can be honest , providing a fresh approach to a persistent problem. You don't know each other so its nothin personal, just chat.

Cabbies are notorious "therapists", you are paying them and getting "free" therapy. They hear it all so are qualified.
" I had this guy once and he said..."

You can also bring it here... maybe in third person... who knows what expertise lurks in the labrynths of ATS?

Eight degrees of seperation...
strangers are the 9th.

The further someone is from your circle, the easier they are to tell details to, because you don't think the information will end up in the hands of people you genuinely care about... or people you may not want to know the truth.

Been there, done that.
It's kinda sad in a way.

Yeah, I prolly shouldn't tell it, but I think mine takes the cake as far as this storyline goes.

About 10 years ago there was a homeless lady that had some pretty severe psychological issues. Every time I saw her walking along the highway or sitting on a corner somewhere I would stop and give her a few bucks and find out if she needed anything I could drop off to her the next time I saw her.

She never made a lot of sense but she was always ready to talk a bit.

One night I was really down about some relationship issues and I saw her. All I planned to do when I stopped was to give her a few bucks as usual and ask about how she was doing but before I knew it we were sitting on a curb while I spilled my guts.

Even though she was crazy I could tell that she felt somewhat uncomfortable hearing all of it. She was REALLY ready to go by the time I was through!

I'm such a dweeb.

I'm always one of those strangers who people tell their life stories to. Must be my seemingly inviting personality. I honestly don't EVER want to hear it. But they flock. One by one.

I once called a "priest" that was listed in the back of a magazine. I needed to talk to someone right then and there, so having flat rate long distance, I called the California phone number.

He was very nice, listened to me pour my heart out for about 1/2 hour, and told me he could put a curse on the guy for $300 USD if I wanted to
I told him no, I didn't want the bastard cursed, bad for my karma, but he still said he enjoyed listening, and said I could call back if I wanted. I think he was hoping to collect for hexing someone.
Somehow, I don't think he was a "legitimate" priest, but he did make me feel better.

And yes, I did call back a couple of times just to talk, no curses.

reply to post by aeriess


It happens to me a lot too. Sometimes I don't mind, other times I hear stuff I would really rather not hear. Something else that has happened to me is that total strangers will offer me advice just out of the blue. People just amaze me sometimes.

Originally posted by aeriess
I'm always one of those strangers who people tell their life stories to. Must be my seemingly inviting personality. I honestly don't EVER want to hear it. But they flock. One by one.

Ahh I found a soul mate LOL just kidding...I completely relate....I hear a life story every single day.....

Originally posted by Absco
Maybe it's the crowd I hang out with, maybe it's the fact that they care about me and what I want to do with my life, but they listen to me. I can't tell you how many times I meet new people at this party house and from sexual deviant girls to guys tripping on acid, I've had many conversations that ended up with the human connection. We talk about a lot going on in our lives. The party house as it's dubbed is really a therapist house. We all nip the problems in the butt right away so there is no confrontation. I cannot think of a single person that I have met that are anywhere remotely like this group. Because they care for others and they don't mind sharing their feelings, how the day went, how we feel about life, the world.

I forgot what my point was.

hahaha, indeed, people like licking each other 'wounds' one must be really strong in this world, as most people is capable of seeing, outside the family, or most of families, its a cruel world based in interest, monetary or sentimental and whatnot...

reply to post by dr treg


I think I completely understand where you're coming from. I felt the same way at times. As someone already stated, strangers have no preconceived notions about you. You can feel close to your friends or to your family, but sometimes there are things you want to get off your chest that you feel might change the way they look at you if you were to confess something to them. Rather than risking this, you turn to a stranger (preferably someone you'll never meet again) who will give you perspective on your troubles and won't have to look at you for the rest of your life. A stranger won't interfere in your every-day life, and won't be passing this information on to anyone you might know. That way your life remains less complicated. I've talked to strangers about things in the past and it helped me get through some hard times. It made me feel a little less lonely. I'm also open to listen to anyone who needs to spill their guts.

Originally posted by The GUT
Yeah, I prolly shouldn't tell it, but I think mine takes the cake as far as this storyline goes.

About 10 years ago there was a homeless lady that had some pretty severe psychological issues. Every time I saw her walking along the highway or sitting on a corner somewhere I would stop and give her a few bucks and find out if she needed anything I could drop off to her the next time I saw her.

She never made a lot of sense but she was always ready to talk a bit.

One night I was really down about some relationship issues and I saw her. All I planned to do when I stopped was to give her a few bucks as usual and ask about how she was doing but before I knew it we were sitting on a curb while I spilled my guts.

Even though she was crazy I could tell that she felt somewhat uncomfortable hearing all of it. She was REALLY ready to go by the time I was through!

I'm such a dweeb.

Loves it!!!
(nothing better than a captive audience!)
I was feeling very down today, but this story has cheered me up no end!!
Thanks!

We confess things to strangers all day long on the internet...
i do think its a very strange thing. Maybe that's why therapy works, confessing everything to a total stranger whose qualified to help.

There is a place you can talk to people who will not judge you and are strangers through a wonderfull charity that has held the hands of many many people when they need to talk, or through difficult times please look and use if you need to:

The Samaritans

They are for Ireland and the UK,

However an international organisation exists that is also excellent called BeFrienders the following link will allow you to put in your country and access those resources:

Befrienders Worldwide

If anyone is wanting to feel better or dissolve any issues from things in the past look at my first sig below and get happier, healthier, wealthier and have more fun to!

Love

Elf

I tried telephoning the Samaritans in Ireland but they were ex-directory.

Originally posted by dr treg
I tried telephoning the Samaritans in Ireland but they were ex-directory.

Hey here is their number for Ireland, and also try the befrienders link in my first post on this thread to access more resources in Ireland.

Phone us

UK: 08457 90 90 90

ROI: 1850 60 90 90

The Samaritans

Love

Elf

reply to post by dr treg


With a stranger, there is no bias or preconceived idea about who you are. Also, you'll likely never see them again, making them perfect for taboo or personal topics you need to vent on...providing they are willing, of course.

I agree with Gazrok.

I have trust issues so maybe that's why, but I think it's more about what you tell than who you tell.

Take this site for example. I see it in a different light than most people in that I view ATS as a community filled with people I'll never meet. So what's the problem with dumping your emotional garbage can once in a while? Nothing IMHO.

Telling people here your personal issues is, not to belittle you fine folks here, kind of like telling the local wino on the corner all your problems. He can't judge you because he doesn't know you and chances are he's going to wake up the next morning not remembering a damn thing anyway.

Here though, at least you can get constructive advice on how to resolve whatever issues or life changing situations you're going through. There's some pretty intelligent, insightful and caring people here. More so than most of the people I've met in real life anyway. That's why I do what I've been doing here lately.

You guys have helped me and so has she.



And just for good measure......

Old thread, but wanted to add to it.

I've for many years spoken about most of my problems to strangers. More so random people online in chats were you don't have a clue who is who, but to me it never mattered who I told, they'd listen, try offer advice and then they'd part ways. It is just nice to vent sometimes without bogging down other people in your life with your troubles.

In a way, that's what Confession booths are all about...confessing to strangers.

Though, I suspect the Church had ulterior motives (i.e. intelligence gathering) when they established the practice....but that's just me being cynical.